Brook Report post Posted July 31, 2005 Hi all, My son who is nearly seven (ASD), cannot stand people laughing, he will become very stressed, and put his hands to his head, and starts to shout "stop that laughing", he even does it when out and about. He does not tend to do it to us at home, but if someone comes into the home he will do it to them. I think it could be a mixture of sensory issues and the fact that he does not understand what they are laughing about, he also sometimes think that they are laughing at him I have tried to explain to him that they are not laughing at him, and although this might work on that occassion, he obviously has trouble on the next.. He becomes very anxious and really does get stressed, and if it is someone who is not familiar with him, he comes across as very rude. I would love to be able to help him with this, as it causes him so much stress, and obviously has put us on the spot many a times He often tells visitors to "stop that laughing and go home" Anyone else experience of this? Thanks Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elaine1 Report post Posted July 31, 2005 i understand completly. my son hates music of any kind, so if anyone is singing he will tell them to shut up. He constantly shouts at our daughter who loves music and is always singing - what a dilemma . i dont have a solution for you though i could do with one myself!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cutie Report post Posted July 31, 2005 It could just be down to his autism because I know that certain sounds make me feel angry and I sometimes put my fingers in my ears. I think sensitive hearing is more my problem though. I cant stand anyone that crunches food near to me. I cant stand any sound at all when i go to bed and for the past 12 years i have slept with ear plugs. I cant stand background noise when i try to read at home or at uni and so again put my fingers in my ears. So I think it may just be down to his AS. He has also perhaps goten used to familar nosies and routines around your house and when someone visits then to him it is like the world has ended because maybe he was not expected them people around or to make the sounds they do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted July 31, 2005 For a long time my son Matthew, now aged 8, thought that if anyone was laughing anywhere near him that they were laughing at him. He found this very distressing. He could handle family laughing but only because I think he knew that it was unlikley we were laughing at him. He said that people always used to laugh at him at school and he hated it It's took along time ofr him to realise that people laugh at many things, including jokes. Something else he does not understand - he brands anyone telling a joke as a liar With Mathew I do not think it was a sensor issue, unlike crying babies. Ever stood next to a woman with a crying baby while your son tells her point blank to 'shut it up!' Quick exist called for - but it is a real problem as he finds the noise unbearable. Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
loulou Report post Posted July 31, 2005 Hi, Kai hates people laughing. He often tells them to shut up. It can put you in a really difficult situation. He too thinks they are laughung at him. Many times i've had to physically stop him from going up to another child and kicking/punching them because he thought they were laughing at him . He even gets annoyed at the intermittant audience laughter on his Scooby Doo PS2 game, because he thinks they're laughing at him playing his game. Loulou x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted August 1, 2005 Thanks for your replies It's nice to know I'm not alone on this one, if you know what I mean We cant even watch any comedy's that have the laughter going on having said that we dont get to watch anything anyway as its always b****y kids chanels that are on our tele Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lsw146 Report post Posted August 1, 2005 My daughter says it is really hard not to think people are laughing at her so she puts her hands over her ears so that she can't hear anything and this helps her brain to stop thinking about it so much. She says it doesn't make the feeling go away but it helps Her other way of coping is to laugh with them. She finds it to hard to ask what they are laughing about because even if they are not laughing at her she may not get the joke and would still feel bad. But the overwhelimng fear is that they will say they are laughing at her she is 11 with UN-dx AS Just another problem in the uneven social world we live. Good Luck in finding another way for him to cope. An alternative note about noise and stress I posted this earlier A better day than the one before where she stood in the supermarket unable to move with her fingers in her ears and her face screwed up with her eyes closed. Not the best look for an 11 year old but I went with it and held her tight covering her ears with my hands until she felt calm. I was proud to have her coping without sreams and rants so although I felt a little awkward I really didn't care what people in the shop though and very few actually stared!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted August 1, 2005 Hi Brook, Yes, my eldest son could not stand people laughing. He got better with age. My husband (AS) says he hates laughter, it's an outburst of emotion, he finds any emotional outburst very difficult and sometimes finds it hard to know which emotion it is. They both hate loud noises, so that's another reason for them hating laughter. Nellie xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarerQuie Report post Posted August 1, 2005 My son also thinks that people are laughing at him.I'm thinking of writing a social story to explain 'Why people laugh'.xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted August 1, 2005 Umm, do we have the same son???? My son does this too with strangers. If i laugh however, he merely asks 'why' I'm laughing. One thing he hates though it when people clap for him or when I or anyone says something pleasing such as 'Yayy!'. He will go balastic and scream and put his hands over his ears. I explain to him that it is b/c we are proud of him but it doesn't work, he says 'But i don't like it when people clap/say Yayy'. I'm sorry I don't have any advise to give you but just wanted you to know, you are not alone. <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted August 1, 2005 A better day than the one before where she stood in the supermarket unable to move with her fingers in her ears and her face screwed up with her eyes closed. Not the best look for an 11 year old but I went with it and held her tight covering her ears with my hands until she felt calm. My son does this too, his face will crunch up and his eyes will close like he's in pain. I also hold him tight and cuddle his head in my arms as if to protect him whenever there is sudden loud noises such as a bike, car, siren, horns, firebell etc etc. He will literally shake from head to toe until the sound goes away and then he'll scream out 'why did they do that??'. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted August 1, 2005 OMG, Tylers-mum, I think we do have the same son My son turns into a quivering wreck at sudden sounds especially when we are out! When we go to the supermarket he does not like the sound of the chillers, or the beeps of the tills, he stims and hums to himself, I thought I would try ear plugs, and he wore them round the supermarket and did not stim once as soon as we got outside and took them out, he started making his kinda humming through gritted teeth noise and bouncing up and down. He is definitely hypersensitive to sounds, also smells. Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted August 1, 2005 My son doesn't stim as far as I have noticed but if the tills ring, he panics and asks me 'what is that sound??' with his bottom lip quivering. The ear plugs is a VERY good idea! Now why didn't I think of that?? He wears an aid in one ear so I'll switch that off and ear plug the other ear! Good thinking!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cutie Report post Posted August 1, 2005 Like I said in my earlier post earplug were and still are the norm for me and I can not go anywhere with out them. I use them to sleep, I use them to study and in extreme moments i use them to block all sound during stressful times (of course not in pblic though because that is why we have fingers...lol) I use blue tac it is cheap and fantastic and sooo much better than the regular commercial stuff Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopeful Report post Posted August 3, 2005 (edited) I cannot abide noise because it completely disrupts my thinking processes, preventing concentration on anything. I do not find earplugs very useful and fear that they could even damage my ears. I think that even the obvious compensations which that would involve would be outweighed by the deprivations. Bluetack seems more promising! However, I also believe that in the first place society is far too tolerant of inconsiderate noisy reprobates who are allowed to create disgraceful degrees of noise pollution with blaring stereos, televisions, musical instruments, barking dogs etc etc etc... This intrudes on what ought to be my right to peace and quiet within my own living space. If these yobs need to live in a perpetual racket to drown out the crushing silence between their ears they should use ear phones and drive themselves deaf instead of those with the misfortune to be living near them. Better still, noisy and / or otherwise antisocial thugs who are renting council accommodation should all be sent to live next to each other on the same street, so that their current neighbours can have the peace they deserve. The dump I used to stay in in Inverness was extremely noisy, predictably enough on the basis of all the other vices there. Edited August 3, 2005 by hopeful Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted August 3, 2005 I've spent the last 2 years trying to explain to my son that people are not laughing at him but still if anyone laughs loudly he tends to react, and he does not like singing and clapping very much either, school assembly been a nightmare for the last 2 years on a Friday as they sing and clap for those getting awards, he reacts badly if asked to come and get his award because of the applause he seems to think he is being punished and doesn't want it. Smallest noises affect my son, the chillers in the supermarket caused big meltdowns until I found out what it was, if a sudden noise like a till bell goes off he will just run and run to get away from it, but if he's making the noise its a different story, I think its with them being so sensitive and single channeled, that they can only focus on that one noise so we just have to distract him with something else. The smells one adds to the supermarket nightmare, especially the milk aisle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted January 3, 2006 Hi all, I know this is an old post, but just wondered if anyone who hadn't read it had any thoughts on it. My son is still finding 'laughter' extremely difficult to cope with. He has even started to go to the extent of hiding things if we have visitors, when I ask why he is hiding things he replies "they might be funny", he does this alot with my sister inlaw (whom he likes) but cannot stand it when she laughs. He really does become quite angry now with anyone who laughs. Any ideas? Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted January 3, 2006 Hi Brook, I'm sorry, I don't really have any advice to offer. Laughter can be very sudden and scary I suppose and every laugh is unique so getting used to one person's laugh won't prepare you for the sound of someone else's. A lot of people laughing together can be overwhelming, I expect. Like Carole's son, my daughter finds crying babies hard to deal with and she has been known to shout "shut up!" across a restaurant. So I sympathise - we can get rid of many irritants in our children's environment but we can't predict or control the emotional reactions of others. If it's purely a sensory thing maybe earplugs would help take the edge off it? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted January 3, 2006 Hi Brook Matthew and I are part of the FACTS project (Newcastle Uni) and have been since his dx when he was 3. They have just got back in touch after a 3 year gap and one of the questions that the Clinical Psycologist asked me was does he have any problems with laughing or with crying babies? Of course my answer was YES. She had no advice to ofer as this is a fact finding project ran by Anne LeCouter but she did say that it was very common with our children - like that helps you I know Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted January 3, 2006 Ohh, that brought back memories! LOL T still hates loud noises and laughter, today was a perfect example. Went to the shops and those stupid mini motorbikes seem to be the in thing this yoear for Xmas b/c everyone seems to have one, had to hold my son close to me and he had his head sunk into me for protection! Another incident today was whilst at my sister's, her son was playing a game with his mate and they laughed, T went hysterical with crying and yelling b/c they wre laughing at him, they were not laughing at him, they were laughing at the game but he was adament they were laughing at him. Tried to explain this to him but his simple reply was 'I don't like laughing'! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steve_colour-se7en Report post Posted January 3, 2006 Hello Brook, Reading through your post reminds me of myself and my son in what you write about. Sensory issues are a big issue with us both, certain pitches of sound bother us both some times unbelieveably so. There is a condition which i am not sure if you may be aware of called Hyperacusis which is an abnormal acuteness of hearing due to increased irritability of the sensory neural mechanism; characterized by intolerance for ordinary sound levels. This can sometimes be for him a contributing factor to his sensory overloads, due to the fact some sounds can be unbearable and others just really hurt. if you want more information on Hyperacucsis let me know or look below my signature.I have links sites for a Hyperacusis. I am in the process of obtaining a CD's on pink noise which is a purified version of white noise again if you want more details let me know, these help you build up a tollerance to everyday white noise( which is around us all the time). Sometimes when you are younger you cannot always say why things like sharp noises hurt or why you feel as you do in a given situation. If you are quite concerned I feel you may need to seek specialist help, firstly through your GP if you voice your concerns someting will get done - this post of mine will not I hope imply that he may be suffering from this condition. Sometimes too much going on, too much information coming at you at the same time, too many people talking at the same time, tv on music these kind of things lead me and my son to present the traits you speak of. hope this helps in some way. Steve.. I think the boy means well but he is distinctly inclined to be inattentive...... Tutor of Winston Churchill to Lord Randolph Churchill, Winston's father Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted January 3, 2006 Hi all, From reading your replies it does sound common with our children, but I suppose my son now voices his dislike of it, I have asked 'why' he doesn't like it and have recieved various replies ie.. It hurts my head: They laugh at me: It makes me Angry: Dont know why they laugh: It's probably a mixture of all the above. He doesn't even like people laughing on the tv, I suppose if it's sensory and a lack of understanding the laughter in different situations, then he is going to become stressed at it. As Kathryn says every laugh is unique so it would be difficult preparing him for all. Yes, Tylers-mum, it certainly bought back memories for me too when I searched this post out, but to be honest he did seem to be getting better with it for a while, but lately it's back with a venegance and he is finding new tactics to stop it, ie.. the hiding of things. Carole, thats quite interesting that it was one of the questions they asked, shame they couldn't follow up with advice. Steve, thanks, it's good to know your not alone, I will visit the links on your site. Thanks all, onward. Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Oreo Cookie Report post Posted January 3, 2006 I have ear plugs and an MP3 player when I don't like sounds I listen to that. Not music Talking Books Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DAS999 Report post Posted January 3, 2006 Ear plugs are good. My GF is ok with laughung but I once spoke to someone (in a hosp waiting room) who had the same problem as you discribe. She was told by the doc to tickle her son and make him laugh and to do this lots so he understood laughing was a fun happy thing and people could laugh without needing to laugh at someone. She said it worked really well and now her son does not have a problem with laughing but has started to tickle him self and laugh! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LizC Report post Posted January 3, 2006 Hi Matthew can be the same. sometimes he thinks they are laughing at him which is hard for him to understand. he also can't cope with too much noise/music when we are out about about as though it is an information over load. he is alright at school now but for mths he would hide under the table when it was music/singing time Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rainbow queen Report post Posted January 3, 2006 MY SON IS EXACTlY THE SAME BROOK he wont let me put music on and dance about to it or clap my hands. he shouts stop laughing and you stop dancing mum u naughty girl lol and hurls me a load of abuse about it all in fact he stops me having conversations with folk-and will scream over the top of me till i stop hence i feel like a hermit as i cant get no adult conversation what so ever Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ray Report post Posted January 3, 2006 My AS son seems to have the opposite issue. He always has music playing and its 'the quiet' he doesn't like and finds very unsettling. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paula Report post Posted January 3, 2006 My son will be 12 this month and he hates people laughing also.He just cant tolorate it and tells us all to shut up !!!!!!!!!!! We try to explaine were not laughing at him but at the tv but its like talking to a brick wall at times. We try to carry on as normal.Its sounds horrid but his AS controlls so many aspects of our lives and modifies our behaviour so thatt he doesnt get upset but i draw the line at laughing at a comedy on tv. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kirstie Report post Posted January 3, 2006 Lewis isn't too bothered by laughter and he can tolerate sirens now much better.But he still hates loud music and any sort of noise when he's concentrating he gets very aggressive, and as for the baby crying, well many a time i've gone to the kitchen come back again to find our baby in his chair pushed into the hall!! He really can't stand it, but what i find interesting is although he hates loud noise and music he is the noisiest member of the family and he also loves his music therapy class at school where he will choose the biggest and loudest instruments to play and bang away with gusto! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted January 4, 2006 Thanks all for your replies. Rainbow queen, I'm not allowed to dance either! probably just as well really. Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
