School Dinners.

[Tylers-mum]

My son is finally going into school FULLTIME in September. He's missed out on having school dinners for the passed 2 school years and I have fought and fought to get him in fulltime. But now that I've won, I'm worrying about whether he'll eat the food there. He is a VERY fussy eater and won't try anything new. I've only just managed to get him to eat one new item and that's after months and months of patience. It was suggested that I give him sandwiches but with the winter months approaching, I want him to have a hot meal inside him.

I'm sure his LSA will tell me if he doesn't eat but I was just wondering how your kids did with school meals. I know a lot of ASD kids are fussy eaters. How do you and they overcome it?

 

Added - His LSA will only be eating with him for the first week. After that, he is on his own

Edited August 15, 2005 by Tylers-mum

[sarahjane]

When H started school 2 years ago I, like you wantedhim to get a good lunch so put him for school dinners. He is very fussy but i had heard of other asd children who eat well at school but not at home, so thought i would give it a try. After several months the school came to me begging to give him a packed lunch as they could not cope. He was incedibly slow and would not try anything and eating basically nothing. The school cook was making something specially for him to get him to take anything and this could not go on for ever.

 

I now give him a packed lunch, exactly the same every day and everyone is happy. However i would recommed trying it as i have a freind with a child with asd who wil eat anything at school but not at home. But be prepred to back down if not sucssessful

[Flora]

Tylers Mum. I don't know if this will be of any help to you whatsoever. It may be that your son doesn't have a problem with school lunches.

 

When I relocated about 18 months ago both my ASD boys went to a local private junior school. Everything about this school seemed perfect re their acceptance of ASD, experience and the class sizes were small. The only thing was they had a policy whereby every child HAD to have school lunches, no packed lunches were allowed. To cut a long story short my son lasted six weeks. Eventually the food situation permeated into every part of his life. He would panic on the way to school, spend all morning worrying and fretting about lunch time, then whinge and fret and have melt down after melt down at home. I spent literally hours discussing this with the head teacher who absolutely refused to consider allowing my son to have a packed lunch. I'm not sure if this alone would have forced me to remove him from the school but then my other son began to have major problems with his class teacher (who told him off for being lazy!! (at the time his language was minimal and he hadn't yet learned to read or write). In the end I removed them both from the school and put them in a local primary school which allowed packed lunches.

 

If your son doesn't like the school lunches and it becomes a problem then you can always resort to a packed lunch of things you know he'll eat. There is no point in fighting with your child over food if it becomes and issue, because it really could affect their whole attitude towards school. My son still cringes and almost throws up when we drive past this particular school!

 

Hope this helps in some way!

 

Lauren

[annie]

Hi Tylers-mum,

 

I used to work as an LSA with a little boy with ASD.

 

His Mum also said that she wanted him to have a cooked meal, but he only ate a few different foods.

 

Mum started him off on a packed lunch with food that she knew he would eat. The little boy became really sensitive to the smell of cooked dinners and wouldn't sit near anybody who was eating them.

 

We did try him on cooked dinners a couple of times when there were things that he liked, but that was it. He would hardly eat anything, so at least with a packed lunch he was eating a decent amount.

 

Annie

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[Jeni]

my son takes packed lunches, always has done.

 

if you want to give the school meals a try tho then do so. the lunchtime staff will be made aware of your child if they r not so already, this includes the kitchen staff and lunchtime supervisors. you can ask for a daily report of what he is eating. they will give you this without any problems. the staff wont force him to eat if he doesnt want to.

 

i found sandwiches the best way to go as i remembered what school meals were like from when i was at school and knew that my son wouldnt eat them.

 

i would definitely say to make sure every1 is aware tho, in the school i work in the children sit down in sittings and these are rotated every day so that all the children get maximum choice. if your child is on the last sitting there may not be much left for him that he will eat but if u make sure the kitchen staff and lunchtime supervisors are aware then they will keep something back that he will eat.

 

regarding the hot meals and winter coming up, i really dont think it makes that much difference. when it is really cold in our school the younger children dnt spend that much time outdoors. it may just be the way we work so u would have to make sure on this.

 

as an alternative what about sending a flask of hot chocolate, soup or something like that as well as his sandwiches?

Edited August 15, 2005 by Jeni

[Suze]

Hi Tylers mum.My son refused to eat at nursery so after much trying ,rewarding and prompting we gave in and he was allowed to take a packed lunch from home.When he started school he had school dinners but lasted just a term as he would,nt eat anything.Now he,s older 10 and has a dx were more aware of his difficulties.He very often eats nothing .....never has he eaten everything in his lunch box, and he has one jam sandwich (no crusts), a cake and a biscuit.The autism team suggested he eat with a friend in the classroom and this has helped (when he,s allowed too ).He has a problem with the smells noise and eating habits in the hall, and after witnessing it myself I don,t blame him.It was an assault to the senses. Tylers mum if he,s just starting back at school why not let him have a packed lunch at first.When he,s more settled and has witnessed the food first he might more easily switch too it...good luck

[KarenT]

In James' school they have a policy of having ALL new Reception children staying for school dinners on their first full week there, it's a socialisation thing. I must admit it worried me because I knew James wouldn't eat and sure enough he hardly touched his food. I know this because at the time the head cook was his auntie and she watched him like a hawk the whole week. I let him stay a second week just to be sure and he was the same - he'd eat nothing but a bit of cake with loads of sugar strands on it, not exactly Healthy School standard.

 

So from then on I gave him a packed lunch and like many others, I give him the same thing every day. At least I know he'll eat it. I don't worry about the quality if his packed lunch but regard it more as fuel to get him through the day. To balance it I make sure he has a good breakfast before he goes and a full meal at night, plus healthy snacks before bed. I can't be there at lunchtime to chivvy him along so I have to make the best of a bad situation.

 

Hope he enjoys school!

 

Karen

x

[nellie]

Hi Tylers-mum,

 

Yes, I agree with Suze, I think it may be easier to let him start with packed lunches, it would give him time to find out if he's affected by the smell and sight of school dinners. I could be wrong, but I think packed lunches can be just as nutritious as hot school dinners.

 

You could practice giving him packed lunches now to get him used to them. It would also help plan what you are going to put in them.

 

Good luck, I hope it all works out whatever you decide.

 

Nellie xx

[something_different]

I am such a fussy eater.

 

I actually work in a school for pupils who have special needs.

 

Our dinner ladies are fantastic, as we have some kids who will only eat certain things, the ladies accomodate them by making what they like. If we know child x will only eat y then that is what will be made and put aside for them.

 

We also have the advantage of having a small school so that this can be done.

The dinner ladies know all of the kids, and know what they like, or parants somethimes request that their child gets such and such to eat.

 

They even make things that i like as i have always been really really fussy with food, so they even make the same thing for me every day. When i was at school i used to always have a packed lunch, and would take in homemade soup in a flask in the winter months. As i won't eat any soup unless it is made a certain way.

[lsw146]

I am having similar worries about my daughter going off to senior school mainly because I think she will panic about having to choose and eat her food in the time between lessons and because she will have to queue and find an empty seat to sit in!

 

At juniors the choice was limtied and she always sat in the same place with the same people - a whole new world awaits.

 

She very cleverly thought she might write out her choices for the weeK in her planner (but what happens when the choice isn't there?!) and on her induction she saw a spot in the cafeteria where she thinks she can stand if she feels panicked.

 

I could send packed lunch every day but it just another thing that she will ahve to carry around shcool with her as her new school has a no lockers or desks. Then she will probably leave it somewhere and panic anyway!

 

meeting with the psychologist on wed to push for assessment so all the new school issues that are buzzing in my head can be aired as classic examples of B's difficulties.

 

My Mum quite rightly points out that most children going to seniors will have these worries but I don't think most come home and have a huge meltdown because lunch wasn't right.

[Kazzen161]

At Junior School, T's LSA woudl take him to the kitchen in the morning to see what was available - if he liked something it was saved for him - if he didn't like anything, they made him a cheese sandwich - but it was a very helpful school. He also had a problem with eating in the hall due to the noise (chatting, chairs moving, cutlery clacking) so he woudl eat his lunch in the Unit with a few others.

 

R has started secondary and the first week they went in first and 10 minutes early - that was brilliant and he always had a baked potato. Then they changed things, and they have to queue (he often can't be bothered as the queue is so long) and often there is little left by the time he gets there. We know one of the dinner ladies, and she did offer to keep him a baked potato, but he still can't be bothered to queue. For various reasons I haven't let him have a packed lunch yet, but I give him a snack for the morning break and he has a good breakfast and evening meal.

 

Karen

[Viper]

Did you see Jamie Oliver on school dinners? Not that good for them. I like to know what my kids are eating so they have always had a packed lunch, at least I know whats in it unlike the tripe they feed them at school.

 

I'll stop now or I will get on my soap box, it's one subject that I feel strongly about.

 

Viper.

[lil_me]

My son has school dinners, he doesn't always eat a lot but he's got some stupid phobia about packed lunches

 

What can help is a menu in advance, as they usually panic about the most is choosing etc in such a short space of time and will say yes and accept what they don't want out of panic, where as a menu each morning can ensure that part of the stress is taken away and they can make sure there is some of what he likes left.

 

You can also ask for them to write down what he eats so you can monitor it, may take a few weeks to get the real picture tho once he gets into the routine etc

[CarerQuie]

My son usually takes packed lunches to School.Every so often,they have a special theme 9harvest/Christmas/intercultural day) and they offer a special lunch tied into the theme.He generally has the special lunches.xx

[Tylers-mum]

Wow!! Thank you all for all your useful advise and stories. Glad I an't alone on this one.

I have seen the menu (last years anyway!) as they are handed out to parents although he wasn't in for school lunches at the time. He is entering into Yr2 now so I think he'll be the second round of kids into the hall after the Reception and Yr1's children. His LSA has told me that he sooo wants to stay in school for dinner and on some occasions has smelt the dinner and said 'That smells yummy' but smelling yummy and tasting it are 2 totally different things where Tyler is concerned, as I am sure you all know! LOL

Having read all your replies, I've decided to ask his LSA to watch him like a hawk the first week and if after that timje he hasn't eaten or finds the eating in the hall with the other kids over stimulating, then I'll start giving him packed lunch starting the next week. At least both he and I have tried!

I wish I could give him soup or hot chocolate etc but he won't touch them!

 

I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

 

It was suggested by his LSA that I give him a packed lunch but with what would be in there day after the day made me feel they'd think I give him junk food everyday and lack initiative but the fact is that he's very limited on what he does eat and like one poster said, at least he is eating!! I decided I wanted him to have school meals b/c of the cold weather coming but in reality now, I can see that that may not be the best for him and so I thank you all for helping me see sense and for helping me come to this decision. I hadn't realised how many of you actually do give your kids packed lunches. I won't feel so guilty now should (and I think it will!) come to that.

 

Viper - Yep, I saw that and it was worrysome!

[lil_me]

Our LEA sent letters out last term with details of major changes to menus following Jamie Olivers programmes, which included removal of some of my sons fave things like shaped products etc. This post just reminded me this new menu starts in Spetember and will be an increase in meal charges, so maybe will end up on packed lunches or coming home for his dinner if he won't take one.

[smallworld]

Hi,

My middle child had school dinners until last term when he started taking packed lunch, he wanted to be with other boys who take lunch in (he's 9) to be honest after what he told me he'd been eating for school dinner, I should have done it sooner.The menu seemed to consist of pizza, hotdog, turkey shapes etc., all with potato of some sort. ( I can see a link here to another thread !)

After a week or so of packed lunches, I noticed he was coming out of school walking calmly, not swinging his bag like he's practising to be a hammer thrower, as was his usual exit !

If you're worried about hot food in the winter, try hot cereal eg. readybrek or something cooked for breakfast (mine all like to have drinking chocolate when it's cold aswell)

I realised that as I'm cooking for the whole family in the evening, it made sense for that to be their main meal.

I also think it's easier for children to socialise in the packed lunch room, it's usually less noisy/smelly !

wac

[mossgrove]

Our two eldest start at Special school in September.

 

We will be giving them packed lunches initially because they will have so much change to cope with giving them unfamiliar food as well may prove too much. The school do seem very switched on though, and we only have to decide the week before if we want them to have a cooked meal so we may see how it goes later in the term.

 

Simon

[elaine1]

you may find that if he sits with other children he will eat what they eat. my son is fussy but he will eat a school dinner sometimes.

[lsw146]

I think B's secondary school have a good varied menu and they have to pay on smrat card (electronic chip) which means we can ask for a print out of what she has been buying.

 

I found out yesterday that this card was causing problems in its own right because B was worried about using the machine to charge it with money. Apparently the queue to charge money and the dinner queue often look like they are merging and she was worried about where to stand. fortunately I had read my info and knew that she can take a cheque to the schoool office instead of queeing (or maybe I will just arrange to do that myself)

 

AS with everything it is the little things that everyone else takes for granted that cause heartache for our kids. And as we are still without a diagnosis getting school to listen is still a challenge!

[bid]

Bit late to this thread...

 

My son did try school dinners when he started school (he's now 16!), but because of his Dyspraxia he regularly dropped his tray, etc...not helped by horrible dinner ladies then telling him off!!

 

I also think that a packed lunch is quite comforting because it's like a little bit of home, especially when they start school

 

Bid