quick help!!!!

[kaycollins95]

I am so upset today. My aspurger daughter who im convinced also has mild tourettes has confided in me today (something she never does)She does make a lot of awful noises and has done since she was learning to talk such as humming and shouting out when its not appropiate. Anyway she told me that she is being sent out of class when she makes noises she hets 3 warnings and then another child is told to remove her from the room, she is then taken to the head of year who tells her to sit in a corner. I have phoned a friend of hers who is in her class and he told me the same story so i know this is happening.

I have spent most of the night in tears and am going to see the head first thing in the morning. Just wanted to know if anyone has any advice. Am not involving usless senco as she once said to me 'Chelsie has autism so what my son has hayfever' so lost all faith in her x. Please help or tell me if im being a drama queen . I feel she is being punnished for having autism

[lisann]

Hi

Don't have any sound advise but think you deff need to see the head and get to the bottom of this.This is disgusting punishment for any child yet alone one who's actions are part of there disabilty.Do they not know anything about ASD or in fact special needs!!!!!

 

Yep go in armed with the information and the children's names who can back you up as long as there parents agree.Then tell school you want something doing this is unexceptable.

 

Let us know how you get on love

 

Lisax

 

<'>

[Flora]

kay, you most certainly are not being a drama queen. What you have described is really bad practice. If this was happening to my son I'd be absolutley livid!!! Does your daughter have a statement? If not I'd request an assessment asap, meanwhile you must put in writing what you have found out, what your thoughts are, and ask for a meeting with the head, the teacher and the SENCO asap. This scenario sounds absolutely disgusting, you may have a case for discrimination against your daughter. What sort of SENCO would compare autism to hayfever??? That makes me so mad just thinking about it, so from my point of view you have every right to be angry and the right to get this stopped and other strategies in place more appropriate for dealing with this sort of behaviour. You need to try and find out what causes your daughter to make these noises, they are often caused by stress (my AS son makes a really awful deep snorting/sniffing sound when he's feeling stressed, he also does hand flapping, if he was ever disciplined or excluded from the class for this I'd go in there with all guns loaded before they knew what was hitting them. Use your outrage and anger to do something positive and show them that their method of dealing with this particular behaviour is discriminative and tantamount to exclusion.

 

Lauren <'>

[nikrix]

I don't think i can be any help.

what i will say, is no your not being a drama queen. If that was my daughter i would be straight up the school. your child should not be excluded from the class in that way. Does your daughter make the noises at randam or is it when she is anxious? they may be a under lined problem causing this.

You should talk to the head and see if they is a way this can be sorted with out making feel a out cast.

sorry i can not be of more help

Nikrix x

Edited November 6, 2005 by nikrix

[kaycollins95]

thankyou everyone . She makes the noises at all times wether happy or sad for no paticular reason they have got louder last couple of nights because of the fireworks i think. She is on school action but the will not put her on school action plus as academicly she is brilliant (unlike mom who cant spell a thing!). Worst thing is it was parents evening last week and not a thing was said to me. The sen is off sick so im jusy involving the head and her teacher at the moment . I just feel totaly unsuported and cant believe i have been sending chelsie into this enviroment every day.

[stressed out mum]

Hi Kaycollins 95

 

Don't beat yourself up about this. You didn't know

 

The SENCO made a stupid statement so unfortunately YOU need to educate HER.

 

My son used to make noises and also had a SENCO just the same at infant level (sorry don't know how old she is) I felt like a jailer sending him to school.

 

Stay calm, take lots of info on aspergers with you for the head to read, mention bullying no head likes that in their school.

 

Do you have parent support in your area? A rep goes with you to mediate between you and school, they are on your side and they know what you are entitled to.

 

<'> <'>

[call me jaded]

Here's a DDA briefing sheet which specifically mentions being separated because of making noises as being unlawful:

 

http://www.gloucestershire.gov.uk/media/ad...DAbriefing2.pdf

 

Keep strong!

[Guest hallyscomet]

I would go back to your child's Paediatrician and get his support perhaps they will even go a visit the school, my sons Paediatrician did so and even wrote letters explaining exactly what the child needed help with.

 

If you find you are not getting support from the Principal, which is excellent advice, go above them. This is child abuse.....

 

I know my son had lots of problems and found when he was put on Ritalin it helped a lot but when Catapres was added, it helped get rid of a lot of the impulsiveness and noises my son was making. He appeared much happier too.

I keep getting my son reassessed everytime we hit a roundabout that is affecting his progress, or if some TWIT... IS OUT OF LINE...

 

Remember there will be many roundabouts along the way, just take a deep breath. You'll get through it, I know it makes you sad too. Don't forget we are all here for you.. <'> <'>

 

Hailey

[bid]

Ring the Disability Rights Commission helpline on 0845 7622633.

 

They will be able to tell you if your school is acting unlawfully, which I suspect it may be.

 

Good luck, and you don't have to accept this.

 

Bid <'>

[oracle]

Anyway she told me that she is being sent out of class when she makes noises she hets 3 warnings and then another child is told to remove her from the room,

 

I can not believe that this is being allowed to happen. What kind of a message is this giving out to every other members of the class? I would suggest it is allowing them to believe that they are superior to your daughter.

 

Disability Discrimination this certainly is. How dare this teacher do this to your child. How dare she use others in her discrimination Sorry but I am outraged by this.

 

Carole

[smallworld]

So am I

This sums up my feelings that other children can be made to feel superior to a child with SEN. We are beginning to witness this now with our 5 yr old. Teachers should be discouraging this,not making a child feel worse by being taken out of the classroom by another CHILD !

No wonder home ed. seems such an attractive option !

 

wac

[Malika]

Hi Kay..

 

I am absolutly livid this cannot really be true

 

If your child has tourette making noises is part of her condition so removing her from the class room (even worse by another child) is discrimination especially to sit in a cornner like a punishment, I know it is not easy but you got to sort this out. I wonder if the head teacher knows about it if he/she does not take it seriously enough, contact some association and get a letter send to the school this should be enough to make them run a bit faster and do something.

 

I am not too sure but school action plus may be required even if your child is doing well just because she needs more support because of her disability.

 

I hope you will get this sorted soon.

 

Take care. <'>

 

Malika.

[barefoot wend]

I can only add to the feelings that others have expressed. This is WRONG!

 

I am completely horrifed that this is happening. What sort of effect must this be having on your daughter and what message must it be sending out to the other pupils in the class - the adults of the future!

 

I'm disgusted.

[kirstie]

How disgusting!!! The senco woman and her attitude have infuriated me, stupid ignorant woman, i can't see how she has the position of Senco as she obviously doesn't have a clue

As for your daughter being removed from the class by another child and put into a corner AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHH! how dare they! She cannot help the noises or indeed the behaviours, and as i was told there is always a reason for the behaviours so they need to take a closer look at just how badly they are doing at meeting her needs.

The wee soul <'> <'> <'> these are for you and her.

Have you heard of I.P.S.E.A ? they are a wealth of information and can help represent you at meetings etc. well worthphoning. I don't have the number but i know it's on this site somewhere. Someone no doubt will be able to tell you where!

I remember when Lewis was around 2 (pre-dx) he would scream really high pitched noises on the bus, we were thrown off and told "Keep the child quiet i've got a headache...." on numerous occasions.Little did i know he couldn't handle the noises and the crowds, he was reacting to what was going on around him, could be your daughter is doing the same!

I hope you get things sorted out and your wee girl gets the help and support she deserves! I'll be thinking of you both.

Take CareKirstie

P.S My keyboard is smoking i'm that mad!!!!

[Zemanski]

Just a couple of things to add to all the good advice and righteous indignation

 

if your child's needs are not being met at school action and she does not meet the LEA criteria for school action plus because she is academically able this is a reason to ask for a statutory assessment. - you need it because you and school need to know what her needs really are so that they can be met. She needs a statement because her needs will not be met at SA+ because she doesn't meet the criteria.

 

keep good records of all incidents, meetings, discussions - I use the outlook express calendar which can be printed out as needed and makes good evidence.

 

speak to parent partnership - they will give you an independent parental supporter to go to meetings etc with you (some are very good, some, unfortunately, are not) and, best option, ring to IPSEA who give very good advice and have letter templates etc on their website - be persistent, it is difficult to get through but it is a freephone number.

 

you can also ring the Disability Rights Commission - their number is on their website

 

and you can download the codes of practice free, very useful documents to have - disability: from the DRC website and SEN from the DFES website

the SEN one is essential reading for most of us here

 

I hope that helps

 

stay strong

[bid]

Phasmid would be a good person to ask for specific advice on this one, I think...

 

Bid

[kaycollins95]

Hya everyone Thankyou so much for your support and advice, its great to know there are people out there supporting me.

 

I had an appointment with the headmaster thisafternoon.

 

I went armed with her file and spilled my guts all over his desk!!. The outcome was that he was horrified and said obviously he needed to look into the matter.So he was planning on speaking to everyone concerned after school today . In the mean time i asked her if anything happened at school today and she says the teacher has told her she has an attitude. Just to let you know she turned 7 last week!!!.

 

So now i will wait and see what happens next and will keep you posted. I feel a lot stronger knowing i am in the right i think these people can be intimidating sometimes. Unfortunatly i am not going to let them bully my daughter. Thanks again everyone x x x x x <'>

[Malika]

Hi Kay,

 

Glad you manage to talk to the head about it, and thanks this really cheer me up I was really down but you made me laugh,

 

THANKS for this

I went armed with her file and spilled my guts all over his desk!!.   

 

Take care.

 

Malika.

[phasmid]

I am so upset today. My aspurger daughter who im convinced also has mild tourettes has confided in me today (something she never does)She does make a lot of awful noises and has done since she was learning to talk such as humming and shouting out when its not appropiate.

 

Paedatrician who gave Phas jr his dx did mention that Tourettes can be a co-morbid of ASD therefore it is entirely possible that your daughter does have it. Phas jr used to hum and make 'noise' during lesson transfer time. They asked him to stop, they asked us to ask him to stop. He couldn't. Quite simply he said to us that it helped him cope with the noise around him, it hurt him (physically he said) otherwise. The school were TOLD they'd have to live with it!

 

 

Anyway she told me that she is being sent out of class when she makes noises she hets 3 warnings and then another child is told to remove her from the room, she is then taken to the head of year who tells her to sit in a corner. I have phoned a friend of hers who is in her class and he told me the same story so i know this is happening.

 

One child should not, EVER, remove a fellow pupil from a class. If a child needs to be removed a second adult should do it and if there is not one present then one should be sent for. That aside the issue here is whether or not your daughter is able to stop herself from doing this. She may not be able to if she has TS - even mildly. Tourette's sufferers are often quoted as saying that the stress of trying to stop themselves from calling things out just makes it happen more - that being the case they are actually going to increase the likelehood of this happening by insisting she stop. If you have got real concerns about TS you need to get it looked into. If they make a DX school will have to accept the fact she cannot stop herself from doing this. As for sitting in a ###### corner, what good is that? Have they thought of using social stories with her to explain that what she is doing is upsetting others (That said if it is TS all the social stories in the world will not help)?

 

 

Am not involving usless senco as she once said to me 'Chelsie has autism so what my son has hayfever' so lost all faith in her x. Please help or tell me if im being a drama queen . I feel she is being punnished for having autism

 

You only lost 'faith'...flipping heck, I'd have lost my rag at that point. Bad enough for a teacher to make such a crass remark, but a SENCo? No, that's unforgivable in my book. Her son's hayfever might be a pain for him but it doesn't come close to the difficulties faced by your daughter! For god sake!

 

I went armed with her file and spilled my guts all over his desk!!. The outcome was that he was horrified and said obviously he needed to look into the matter.So he was planning on speaking to everyone concerned after school today .

 

Good for you! Attitudes need to be adjusted here, and not your daughters either! Instead of punishing her for this she really needs some help and encouragement to stop. Perhaps some type of reward system where she gets a small amount of time at the end of the morning and/or afternoon if she has tried not to call out more than 6-8 times that session (tried mind, not succeeded). Praising her for the times she doesn't do it instead of drawing attention to it would be a much better stratergy. Hopefully the HEad will agree and get the teacher concerned to take this up.

 

 

In the mean time i asked her if anything happened at school today and she says the teacher has told her she has an attitude. Just to let you know she turned 7 last week!!!.

 

NO SHE DOESN'T!!! What she does have is a socio-communication impairment. One that allowances she be being made for. Her 'attitude' is due to her ASD. The teacher needs to be TOLD this. It is perfectly normal for ASD children to be very blunt when talking to people, this can easily be misconstrued (sp?) as rudeness or having an 'attitude' when no allownace for the ASD is being made, which seems to be very much the case here. Have a look on the NAS website and psint off the advice for professionals - it might make this teacher a darn sight more aware of what they should be doing then they appear to be.

 

In the meantime I strongly suggest you speak to your GP regarding the possibility of TS as this would, if it is the case, make a huge difference to the way this teacher is 'dealing' with things. If that DX is forthcoming and the 'punishment' continues you would then have a very good case for discrimination due to a disability. The DX she has now means they are sailing very close to the wind anyway. A dx of TS would just push it over the edge.

 

Let's hope the head gets it sorted. Let us know what happens.

[barefoot wend]

I spoke to a consultant child psychiatrist about this very thing last week - a person with Tourette's cannot 'hold it in'. They can, SOMETIMES, contain it for a short time but it has to come out.

 

I think this is very much like the 'Jekyll and Hyde' or 'passsive pretending to be normal' for other asd. Basically, asking your daughter not to make sounds is an impossibility and very, very cruel.

 

I hope that the school will listen.

[kaycollins95]

Well the wheels are in motion. Imentioned to the head master today that we have put in writing to the board of governers all the problems we are having, would you believe !!!..............whoosh , suddenly there are meetings set up everyone is to attend. I think because i sounded like i know what i was doing (even though i dont!!) they are going to start panicking. so meeting is 23rd november, and we see chels doctor on 25th november. Am still feeling angry and intimidated by them all. I have phoned another school today and am going to look round on monday. Chelsie has said herself she would like to go to another school which is major for her as she hates change.

So i will keep you posted!!

[Hectorshouse]

 

Well done Kay, this is definitely the way to go, tackle the ignorance head on! I have had exactly the same problems with T, some days he is a parrot and makes parrot noises all day, others he just makes odd humming noises completely unaware that he is doing it. He has often been called truculent, abbusive, manipulative etc ... because of his blunt and literal interpretation.

 

Go get 'em, it makes a heck of a difference when they come across parents who know their stuff.

 

HHxx