curra Report post Posted February 18, 2006 Hi, I'm in the final stages of teacher training but the last weeks have been very hard trying to manage the school's demands, paperwork and caring for my son. I have serious doubts about being able to combine a teaching job with being a lone parent of an AS child ( teenager) in the future. Is anyone doing this? I'd be very thankful for advice on how to cope and organise myself. You can send me a PM too. A big thanks! <'> Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted February 18, 2006 TA, not a teacher, and married not single. So don't quite fit the criteria yet (QTS is next goal). However you are a carer and as such I know my LEA do take this into account and I am led to believe most do. 'Human resources dept' would be the best people to contact over this to see what help they can offer. Failing that ask your union. TES website might have some more insight on this. HTH Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
carrieq Report post Posted February 18, 2006 Hi Curra, I am a teacher of over 10 years now, feels alot longer!! I worked primary mainstream, advisory visual impairment specialist and now teach at a school for multi disabled visually impaired pupils. I have 3 children and my middle boy who is 6 has ADHD and is being assessed for ASD. I do have a partner but he is a doctor and has very little to do with the day to day things. I worked full time until 18mths ago when I had number 3 and now do .5. Ds is much younger than yours but I found he accepts the routine of when I go to work and it has to go like clockwork otherwise he can have a major meltdown. I try and get paperwork etc done while I am in school. The kids go to after school club so this gives me a bit of time at the end of the day. Your employer has to allow you to set your working hours as you have a child with special needs which means you could try part time or start at 9am. I have often thought about giving up work so I am always about for ds but feel I would be letting go of something that defines me, something I enjoy and find very rewarding. Feel free to pm me, hope you work things out, it is a really tough decision! Carrie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kazzen161 Report post Posted February 18, 2006 I am in a similar position, curra, so I am interested in the replies. I want to do Teacher Training, but I am a single parent with three boys - two have Aspergers. The eldest is 16 and the other is nearly 13. It is just getting to the point where I may be able to actually work for 5 days a week (always providing R keeps going to school, which is not guaranteed), but I am not sure how I would do all the planning, etc. Karen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zemanski Report post Posted February 18, 2006 I gave up about 3 years ago after two tribunals and a visit to the ombudsman. I became so ill with the stress of a very intense job coupled with the constant battles with schools and LEA that the doctors thought I had bowel cancer. And I have a very supportive partner who works from home. I still do voluntary work, mostly with adults at the moment but I've just been offered some ASD work in education, running groups rather than classroom work. I really miss the classroom but I would not go back to it now, I will look for part-time ASD specialist work when I go back to work but that is still a while away. Zemanski Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted February 18, 2006 (edited) I'm a qualified Nursery Nurse and had jobs in both nannying and classroom work before I had T. Left when I was 8mths pregnant and no way could I go back to it now. My life is stressfull enough and I doubt very much I'd have the patience I did back then either. All the very best curra. PS, I'm a single parent too. Edited February 18, 2006 by Tylers-mum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted February 18, 2006 My son's friend's mum is a full time primary school teacher and her only son has AS too. We're on hols for a week from today but I'll have a word with her when we get back and see if she has an advice which may help. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jen Report post Posted February 18, 2006 I too work as a professional for 4 days a week as my 8 year old asd son would not cope with me working full time. Although he attends a main stream school he could not cope with an after school club. I tried a childminder when he was 3 years old and she too could not cope (too many children in the house). So now I have a live in aupair. This also means I can go for a night out (once he is in bed) without problems. My aupairs stay for a year or more and everyone of them think my child is wonderful. Everything is written down and the aupair knows how to handle him. It does have the disadvantage of having someone in you house but without her I could not work part time and keep my sanity. My husband works long hours so I can not rely on him to do anything. You could try working part time and see how it works. How have you coped doing your training? Can you not continue in the same way. If you are a teacher you have the added benefit of having school holidays off. Jen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jen Report post Posted February 18, 2006 forgot to mention I do my paperwork in the evening after my son has gone to bed. He knows I do some work when he goes to bed its just routine Jen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jayjay Report post Posted February 18, 2006 Hi, i cant speak for her but my sons teacher has a son who has aspergers and she seems to cope brilliant with him and now she cant get away from it as my son is in her class now and she is great with him and has loads of patience jayne xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justamom Report post Posted February 18, 2006 I'm a part time TA, part time because just like Zemanski I had 2 tribunals and could not deal with the stress of having a ill son (He has IBD aswell as AS) and had to cut my hours down because of all the hospital app and him being off school so much (my previous school were not very accommodating)... It was a nightmare of a time. but dont let that stop you.. I hope you do very well as a teacher and you can't knock something until you have tried it so good luck... justamom Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted February 18, 2006 Thanks to Everyone of you for your replies! It helps to know that there are other mums working and juggling work with caring at home. My son comes back home from school by himself but during the training I've had not much time for him in the evenings because of the paperwork every day and weekends and as a result he has become aggressive (violent) at school. On the other hand I find it hard to concentrate and organise myself at work because I worry that there could be more problems with him and also because I'm always tired (I also do lesson planning in the night). I couldn't possible go on like this in the future. The only way for me will be part time teaching, but I still have several weeks to go after this half term and I feel at times not strong enough to reach the end. Wish me luck... I wish you all a very good and restful good half term.! Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
krystaltps Report post Posted February 19, 2006 Hi Curra, am in similar situation. I'm doing my PGDE in primary teaching this year (4 months to go!!! ), and it is hell! I have an AS son (age 7), and his younger brother (age 6) has epilepsy (nocturnal - am used to not sleeping!) - my little girl (age 6) is fine though. My husband works off-shore, so he's away half the year. I'm not sure how I'll cope, I'm not sure that I will cope! But I think if you can survive teacher training, you can survive being a teacher. And those moments when you see the little light coming on in their eyes, when they finally "get it" - makes all the planning, and resource searching, and late nights, etc. worth it. Try not to look too far ahead... take it one stage at a time. PM me if you fancy giving each other some moral support....... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gromit Report post Posted February 19, 2006 Hi Curra, I completed my degree in Occupational Therapy last year but what an almighty struggle i found it, was working as well at the time, thought I could ride it out and the problems would work out. In my final year whilst on my placement in hospital I was working 40 hours along with my assignments and had a bit of a breakdown with all the stress which had slowly built up over 3 years. I took a year out before completing my degree but at the moment am not working and am happy in this. I'm lucky that my husband has a reasonable salary and I have that luxury of staying at home for the kids. I feel more in control being able to prepare for any meetings regarding my son.....the way things are just now I doubt I'd be capable of doing the whole Uni thing. Dunno if I'll ever become state registered, but its nice knowing I managed to complete the course. At the mo am about to start doing a spot of admin from home on a new website we,ve set up..........so not feeling totally useless on the paid work front. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moncs Report post Posted June 7, 2008 hi it's been a while since i've visited the site i am a full time principal teacher and I am also fully class committed I have a son with AS who goes to a different mainstream school. Over a year ago i went back to studying and did a post grad in Asperger Syndrome from Sheffield Hallam Uni. All i can add is :- Life does get stressed, you do often feel as though you are sinking but you know you have to cope for your child . For me life is a treadmill with many happy times and lots of difficult moments. I get through each day by prioritising my life whilst keeping my long term goals in mind. It would have been a worse year if I was studying something that did not interest me or not important to me. hope it helps moncs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moncs Report post Posted June 7, 2008 Ignore all that I just noticed the date ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted June 7, 2008 Good to see you again anyway, moncs! K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted June 7, 2008 Well, it's a better answer than mine, which is getting through the term with comfort eating and chocolate, and getting through the holidays with comfort eating, chocolate and rum. And doing all my planning and marking between 12 and 3am. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted June 7, 2008 And doing all my planning and marking between 12 and 3am. Glad I'm not the only one then. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted June 7, 2008 I love your new avatar, I've always thought of myself as the White Queen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted June 7, 2008 I love your new avatar, I've always thought of myself as the White Queen. It's a nod to a recent production of "Alice" I've been performing in. I would like to have been the White Queen, but ended up as the Dormouse, hence that picture. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
teachermum1 Report post Posted June 7, 2008 Hiya, I'm a full time teacher (as my name probably gives away...) and I have a 6 year old with autism who is a real handful BUT we have our routine now. We both go to school, we both come home (I get home a bit later than him and his (adult) babysitter (don't know what else to call her - but she brings him back to our house because he needs alone time after school, not having to try to fit in with other kids at a childminder or after school club!)), then we play games, read, do homework (big battle time) and then we have tea and it's his bedtime. Then, when he's settled, I do my marking. If you're able to be organised at peak times, it's doable. Not easy, but doable. I wish I had stayed normal mainscale teacher now instead of taking on extra paid responsibilities, but that was pre-dx, and now we rely on the money. What nobody ever tells you is that your training year and NQT year are the hardest re: paperwork. Nobody except OFSTED will ever want to see so much paperwork again. In most places, some lessons are planned for you if you have a big department/ school and you all share the scheme writing, and nobody wants to see your lesson plans on a reguar basis, so you get into writing minimal notes FOR YOU, not for someone else to read and judge. That takes the pressure off loads. I don't write lesson plans any more unless I'm being observed, 4 years down the line. Parenting my son helps my teaching, and teaching helps my parenting. Yes, it's hard, but the job is good and the holidays take the pressure off a bit (though still need to work some in the holidays) I like the job. I have to prioritise at times, with my son always coming first, but school stuff gets prioritised into: never gonna touch it (usually something paperworky and pointless like a survey about my ICT training needs); will do this term; will do this half-term; will do by the end of the month; will do by the end of the week; will do tomorrow and do it now! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted June 7, 2008 It's a nod to a recent production of "Alice" I've been performing in. I would like to have been the White Queen, but ended up as the Dormouse, hence that picture. K x At least you're thin enough to be stuffed into a teapot, I'd have to audition for one of the Tweedle brothers. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted June 7, 2008 What nobody ever tells you is that your training year and NQT year are the hardest re: paperwork. Nobody except OFSTED will ever want to see so much paperwork again. In most places, some lessons are planned for you if you have a big department/ school and you all share the scheme writing, and nobody wants to see your lesson plans on a reguar basis, so you get into writing minimal notes FOR YOU, not for someone else to read and judge. That takes the pressure off loads. I don't write lesson plans any more unless I'm being observed, 4 years down the line. I have to hand in my planning folder every week, as do we all. It's checked and signed and comments are made by the head, deputy or subject co-ordinator. We have an agreed format for lesson plans, have to have medium and weekly done, with three levels of differentiation for every lesson, and indicating where you have provided for specific SEN and EAL. You plan how I used to, ten years ago, and I wish I was still allowed to do it that way! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elun1 Report post Posted June 8, 2008 Our planning is the same as Bard's. Checked weekly and comments and feedback given. I love teaching but I don't like juggling home, school, husband and 2 sons with autism. This is a particularly awful time of year with school reports to be written alongside all the other jobs. It's good that the holidays are child friendly but in a way I dread them as going to work is my respite Elun x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites