School ruining my DLA claim

[lindy-lou]

Hmm well,I have always had trouble with India's nursery,they are reluctant to believe Indy has an ASD as she doesnt display many behaviours at school,and is subtle in her ways,they have told me they have observed her with hands over the ears,the fact she has formed an attachment to 1 child who she calls her girlfriend and the fact that she doesnt use any imaginitive play in class,BUT that isnt good enough for them,well her teacher is very nice and understanding but her headteacher is always trying to prove me wrong,it doesnt matter what i say she is always saying "well thats what 3 year olds do" well anyway i have more or less let it go,on the last day of school i had a letter from DLA,we are at the appeal stage and have had a fantastic letter from our paed,Letter said sorry its taking along time to give you a decision but we need information from your childs school,so...took india to school,asked the head if she had had a letter from DLA she said no,well you will be getting one i say,Well i dont see why they should pay you it she says anyway had a bit of a rant at her and left as i was so upset,went to my sisters and screamed and raged for a while,went back to the school to pick my lovely girl up and asked for a word with head in private,I cant discuss India without crying,it makes me mad that i do this but i cant help it,so started crying and asked her why she thinks i would make something like this up about my child,anyway to cut a long story short,i told her in no uncertain terms what life with Indy is like and she cannot base her assumptions on seeing her for 10 hours a week,teacher ended up in tears after telling me about her daughter that died So,i think i have gone some way in making her understand a bit more,BUT she then said,she couldnt lie on the DLA form and had to put down what she see's(or what she wants to see) so now i think my whole DLA claim is going to be down the pan,everyone is saying they wont base my claim on what a teacher says,but surely if what my paed says isnt good enough then they are going to turn me down when the school dont back me up arent they?I am so unhappy about this,she doesnt realise all the hard work thats gone into that claim,do you think they will turn me down on the basis of someone who spends 10 hours a week with her?

[Mother in Need]

I don't know Lindy-Lou, they do usually look at ALL the info together to make the decision, and not just the one report. My school's filling in of DLA was apalling, but despite that we still received the middle rate (though I was hoping for lower mobility as well).

 

I'm afraid it's a wait and see situation, though if there are any other reports you would like to send in, like a psychiatrist or even a letter from a friend having seen her in melt down etc, it might be an idea to send those in as well to give them additional proof of what you're trying to say.

[Flora]

Lindy,

 

I have a copy of the form my school filled in for William's DLA. Reading the form you'd think he didn't have a problem in the world. Every box was ticked as No Problem with no extra information. They could have been talking about anybody. At the end of the day though William got the higher rate care until he's 16. The fact that the paediatrician has backed you should be good enough.

 

Good luck with your appeal. Don't be affraid of crying; I think most of us do. I can start off feeling really level headed and together but always end up weeping all over the place when I'm having meetings about the boys It's a parent's instinct to fight fearcely for our kids; what sort of drive would we have if we didn't have those strong emotions? No more drive than if the next door neighbour was fighting their corner that's what.

 

<'>

 

Lauren

[lindy-lou]

Thanks,i feel a bit better after hearing that lauren See the 2 things they turned her down for were

 

A] she did not need an hour of personal care a day.

 

B]she did not need any more help or supervision at night time that a child of the same age.

 

well both of these "Theorys" of theirs have been blown out of the water,they cannot disagree with what my consultant has said ,and she strongly feels India needs far more care and supervision than a child of the same age,I have also sent in a Letter from my Lollipop Lady who see's India running away and into the road on a daily basis,i will get one from the psychologist if needs be,but cant get an appointment with her til next month.

 

so if i have covered their 2 points for refusing our application and they cannot argue with the facts,why do they still feel the need to go to the school for information?

 

I just know that they will refuse us again on the basis of what the ###### school say well Tribunal it will be then because im not backing down.

Edited April 6, 2006 by lindy-lou

[pumpkinpie]

+Did you know you dont have to give your permission for the dwp to contact school!!!!!!!!! I certainly didnt on my lst form as I felt they are used to paintint things rosey and just lack the experience and empathy to do it .

iT DID mean the doc came to see us at home- i WAS REALLY WORRIED BUT HE WAS BRILLIANT, MUST HAVE EXPERIENCE BECAUSE HE BELIEVED EVERYTHING AND WAS LOVLEY WITH LITTLE P!!!!!!!!!!!!

My rate went up to the highest level for everything!

 

Just an idea!

[lindy-lou]

+Did you know you dont have to give your permission for the dwp to contact school!!!!!!!!! I certainly didnt on my lst form as I felt they are used to paintint things rosey and just lack the experience and empathy to do it .

iT DID mean the doc came to see us at home- i WAS REALLY WORRIED BUT HE WAS BRILLIANT, MUST HAVE EXPERIENCE BECAUSE HE BELIEVED EVERYTHING AND WAS LOVLEY WITH LITTLE P!!!!!!!!!!!!

My rate went up to the highest level for everything!

 

Just an idea!

 

 

I didnt actualy realise i had,i was shocked when i got the letter saying they were contacting them,i think its too late now to stop it

[Flora]

There is part of the form which asks you who you want them to contact. Both times I applied I put the name of the CAMHS consultant, and both times they ignored that and went straight to the school. I don't know why they do that.

 

When I was turned down they said that it was because he needed no extra care than any other child of that age. They didn't mention the school.

 

The first time I just accepted the decision and did nothing. The second time I applied I asked them to reconsider and sent extra information and evidence illustrating how much extra care he actually needs. I didn't go to appeal because they awarded dla on the extra evidence.

 

All you have to do is prove that your child is not functioning the same as a most children of the same age and that you provide care over and above what would normally be required.

 

Good luck with your appeal Lindy. Do you have a date yet?

 

Lauren

[lindy-lou]

We are at appeal now lauren,i actually asked for a reconsideration but they sent into appeal instead my further evidence was received by them on the 24th feb and they have 12 weeks dont they?I cant recall giving them permission to contact her school either,i wouldnt have given it as i knew they wouldnt back me.

[stresshead]

I have just recieved a letter back from DLA saying we are dealing with your claim etc. we need to get in touch with school, I had stated on the form that he conforms in school, and that there are only minor incedences there, but they are aware that he can be late due to his behaviour of a morning.

Anyway I have just phoned the DLA and explained that they should get in touch with ASD link nurse who I have previously spoken to in depth re. his behaviour. The lady made a note of this, asked some other questions, and said that she would get in touch with ASD nurse.

So fingers crossed, maybe you could do this lindy-lou?

good luck

A

[CarerQuie]

I think a lot of schools are trapped in the positive reporting that they have to do.They seem to think that if they write anything negative that it is somehow a reflection on them.

 

Just stick to your guns and don't back down.Hopefully,you'll win-and it should then be backdated to the date that you claimed.xx

[lindy-lou]

I was going to ring them and tell them their wasnt any point in contacting the school as they are very unco-operative with me but then i thought they might think im pulling a fast one,every time i ring up they just say oh its with the decision makers still,i shall give them a ring now and see what they say!!

[lindy-lou]

right have rang them,the lady i spoke to said she will send through to the decision makers that i dont feel the school will support me in my claim and that i dont think they can make a sound judgement on her condition as they only see her for 10 hours a week,she said i currently have a reconsideration in place and if i get turned down then it is already set up for appeal.well at least they know how i feel now,she said my decision will be back in early may,thanks for all your help x

[Mother in Need]

Good luck with it!

[lisann]

Oh no When we first applied for DLA for Char he wasn't at school but he is now and we re-applied about three weeks ago will they contact school??

 

He is very well behaved at school and although they know and say he shows traits they truley don't believe me I don't think when I tell them how bad he actually is???

 

Oh lordy Please don't contact the school.We asked them to contact his Consultant do you think they will do this or go stright for the school??

 

Sleepless nights here we come!!

 

Lisa x

[Two naughty children!]

I got my DLA straight away, but had a good friend who had already been there. I explained on my form that 'naughty child 1' has LEARNED PASSIVITY - this means she is well behaved in places she is not comfortable but at home we have the tantrums etc, because she loves us and feels comfortable with us. They were very good and understanding even though my SENCO has (I Beleive) no special needs training and told the DLA there was nothing wrong with 'NC1'.

 

So remember throw LEARNED PASSIVITY at them.

 

Hope this helps

[lindy-lou]

Oh no When we first applied for DLA for Char he wasn't at school but he is now and we re-applied about three weeks ago will they contact school??

 

He is very well behaved at school and although they know and say he shows traits they truley don't believe me I don't think when I tell them how bad he actually is???

 

Oh lordy Please don't contact the school.We asked them to contact his Consultant do you think they will do this or go stright for the school??

 

Sleepless nights here we come!!

 

The only person i asked them to contact was our consultant too.

 

Lisa x

 

 

So remember throw LEARNED PASSIVITY at them.

 

Hope this helps

 

thanks i will remeber that phrase!!

[Flora]

Learned Passivity. I've never heard of that, but it is a great description of how some kids behave in certain situations. William certainly displays 'learned passivity at school. I'll remember that phrase next time I have a meeting with the school.

 

Lauren

[bugbug]

I think its disgusting that they are actually contacting the school for information at all. We sit in the peads office each visit explaining all the changes which may of occurred recently. They are the professionals diagnosing our children they take notes and I'm sure that they are also able to judge whether your child is entitled. What do the school know about how often your child is awake during the night and what routines you have to follow to reduce your childs anxiety. Not to mention everything else. Plus ITS NOBODY ELSES BUSINESS, I think there are some things which don't need school involvement!

 

Hope everything works out for you and the more evidence from your end the better.

[Two naughty children!]

I can't remember who told me about Learned passivity all I know is it made me feel better. When you are constantly told you child is adorable and a perfect student who never causes a fuss and then comes home and ripes her bedroom door off the hinges or hits you, you start to wonder what you have done wrong. But now I look at 'NC1' as just showing how much she loves and trusts me when she does these things, because she can only do them when she feels safe and secure.

 

I also feel that schools should not be asked but if the DLA are going to milk it for all your worth. Show how lacking the SENCO is by the fact that you have all this information about you childs problems and issues and the school is not taking it into consideration. Also point out to them you are not asking them to lie but by the same token could they consider the bad days and not only the good, they can also put on the forms any problems you have reported about getting a child to school, and explain you feel this has no reflection on their teaching ability. We told to apply for DLA by our Primary Trust and i remember when I told the school our SENCO said I did not need it, but my reply was 'you obviously havn'g taken on board the kind of problems we are having' that soon shut her up.

 

And remember put everything in writing to the school and never have a meeting without a witness - How paranoid do I sound??

 

Good luck and don't give up

[lindy-lou]

This is what made me so mad when she sat there and said,well i dont think they should pay you it out!! WHY?? does she have to be up every night from 1.30am onwards supervising a child that needs no sleep,who will wreck my house given 2 chances?who has no safety awarenessNO! does she sit and watch my child flapping her hands and making odd noises in the dead of the night?NO! Does she have to perform rituals with my child just to have a semblance of normality in her home?NO!Does she deal with my childs fears of pain,sound,babies that cry,hot water?NO!and oh the list can go on and on and on,as all of you know,but she obviously thinks she knows best,she thinks because my daughter sits so quietly in class that all is hunky dory at home?or in the street?NO she knows absolutley ###### all.And i have to forego the money me and my daughter deserve to have because of her pathetic reluctance to believe that because my child isnt in a wheelchair,can talk and walk,and looks so normal,that she does in fact have a disibility,and she calls herself a teacher I know who i think needs teaching

[Two naughty children!]

You sound as angry as me!!

 

I am at the moment having discussions with the head of our local Learning support service and I pointed out to him that the educators need educating before they can be expected to educated, that went down like a lead balloon.

 

I am so sad I take in articles I find on the internet and give them to my SENCO and 'NC1's class teacher in the hope they will eventually get the message. I also have the added problem that because 'NC1' is a girl she displays her ASD in a different way to boys and the SENCO thinks that means there is nothing wrong with her.

 

If you phone the DLA they are actually really helpful and can tell you where your claim fell short, they are so use to the school protecting themselves that although they ask them the questions I am not sure how much notice they take of the answers as long as you have other independent reports to support you.

[mum22boys]

Hi Lindylou

 

I was wondering if you had heard yet because i remember we were applying and going for reconsideration at the same time.

 

If you have read my last post regarding DLA and the Head further down you will see M has been refused again and it is still down to the school report.

 

It seems our head teachers are from the same training school!!! Refusing to believe what it actually right in front of their eyes. And I had exactly the same 'well i can't lie', I wasn't asking her to lie just ask the other teacher exactly what they had seen. Unfortunatley for us she wrote throughout the whole form that M has no problems. I challanged her and asked for a letter to send with reconsideration but she never did it. I am now going to appeal and also feel like I am going to war with the school.

 

I am going in when they return to school and she won't know what's hit her I find it disgusting that she can sweep it all under the carpet and yet behind my back give him 1-1 support at lunch and when he can't cope with certain school activities but she basically did it for our claim by telling the DWP nothing was wrong. I won't let it rest. I have written to my MP and will be threatening her with the LEA unless she writes a true acount of what has been happening. She can't even look me in the face now.

 

I hope you don't have to go through this also but I sent in so much extra info i never expected it to come to this. When the lady from the DWP rang me last week she clearly hadn't even bothered reading any of the extra info as she questioned why he hadn't seen a pead. i told her the report was there, several minutes later she found it.

 

Good Luck, keep us informed.

 

mum22boys

[lindy-lou]

You sound as angry as me!!

 

.

 

is it that obvious? yes i am furious!!! I think i will print this topic out and take it and show the teacher,ive said what i want to say on here so much better than i do when my tears take over,She also accused me of being over emotional because im pregnant Im always emotional when it comes to India.

 

 

Mum22boys- we are awaiting a decision of reconsideration,they are waiting for this school report,its Easter holidays here so will be early may before we hear anything,I KNOW we will get turned down again,because of this report.Appeal is already set up so they told me on the phone yesterday anyway!!I will take itto tribunal if i have to,im not going to give up.

 

good luck with your appeal too x

[pumpkinpie]

Issues like dla form filling in etc are new to most mainstream schools, and often its not because they are trying to be ###### mainded but because they just dont have the expertise.

Every child matters is the government issue relating to looking at the whole child and working with outside agencies including parents for the wellbeing of the child.

I would write to your sen governor and clearly put down what has happened, balance it with your childs needs,try and be objective as parents we are expected to let our emotions rule and lack objectivity! Try and state your concerns and ask how school is handling these new responsibilites. This is a staff training isue and if the governers arent aware that this is going so wrong they cannot do anything about it.

[PinkSapphireAngel]

I think a lot of schools are trapped in the positive reporting that they have to do.They seem to think that if they write anything negative that it is somehow a reflection on them.

 

Thats what I think too and ot drives me mad as it does not help parents (or the kids) at all and makes you feel like you are just being negative and trying to find faults with your own child which no reasonable parent would do and its not like they make these diagnosies for nothing is it?

grrrrr

[OPooh]

I think the most annoying thing here is that they have said that they turned you down based on her not having an hour's care and help at night - well neither of which applies to the school!

 

Is there anywhere that you can repoint this out? As the hour care you do at home and she doesn't sleep there either!

 

Good luck with it.