Days are just one long strugle.

[Viper]

I am at that low point again where I feel as if there is no joy left in my existence. I'm standing on the edge of a big dark hole waiting to be drawn in. One day just runs into the next with no let up on the ###### being thrown at me. My husband is away again until Saturday and Ben is just hell to live with right now. He has constant melt downs telling me he hates me. DD 3 tells me no one cares about her. DD2 keeps going out and not coming home when she should and DD1 is having a row with her boyfriend as we speak.

 

I so want something to change but I know it wont, this is my life for the foreseeable future. I have health problems that the GP can't DX which means I can't do anything physical. If I so much as clean the kitchen surfaces I end up with aching arms for the rest of the day. I can't walk much cos my legs can't take it, they ache too. No pain killers do anything and I lose a lot of sleep through pain. Even typing this is giving me hell. I feel like the world is closing in on me and I am sat in the middle not able to do anything about it.

 

My day consists of get up sit on the sofa, sort out screaming kids and go to bed. The only access I have to the outside world is when my husband is here and we can go out in the car. Even then he moans that he is the only one that does anything. If I say we need some milk he says "well you know where the shop is" yes I do but he knows I can't get there cos I have to walk and I can't. I never see him walking to the shop.

 

Sorry thats my moan over now.

[Brook]

Viper <'> <'>

 

It's hard when you are the one trying to hold everything together, you have alot to deal

with, it's bound to take it's toll at times. <'>

I hope things improve for you soon and you'll move into a more positive phase,

maybe it's time to sit the family down and have a good talk? it might not sink in

but it may do you good to let it out.

 

Hope you get some answers off the doc. <'>

 

Chin up (easier said than done I know).

 

Brook <'> <'>

[elainem]

Hi Viper

 

<'> <'> <'> <'> so sorry you are feeling unwell. It's hard enough sometimes coping without the added problems of your own health problems. I know you say your GP can't dx but has he referred you on to a specialist, it can't be right just to leave you to struggle? Is there anyone who can take the kids for a day or two to give you a total much needed break? I'm no doc but sounds like chronic fatigue or something like??

 

Get better soon <'>

 

elaine

[lisann]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Viper sweetie hope things get better soon you moan as much as you want we are here to listen.

 

 

Lisa x

[littlenemo]

<'> <'> <'>

 

Has your GP tested for the human version of Parvo? Your symptoms sound very similar to what my sister had - it took ages to diagnose, and a couple of years to get over fully, but she's back to her old active self again now.

 

Take care and good luck

 

nemo

[aro]

also sounds like ME, my mum has it and your muscles ache for no reason, also chronic fatigue, definately ask dr for referal . Also how old are you DD's, maybe they could help out a bit?

Take care of yourself!

Anna x

[elaine1]

oh wow, everything has come at once eh?. lifes a ###### like that isnt it, and yr hubby and kids attitude isnt helping either, perhaps yr daughters could get some shopping for you while your dh is away. if theyre old enough to have b/fs then theyre old enough to do some shopping.

 

i hope y health probs get sorted too, lots of love and <'>

[Guest flutter]

would a family meeting help, so u can tell them just how bad you feel?

they need to help you, and should!

u need to force gp to get u seen by the hospital, so u can at least find out the causes of your fatigue

<'> <'>

x

[Viper]

I am going to get an appointment to see my GP again. Takes ages to actualy get an appointment they are always fully booked. Then if I get refered to a specialist I worry it might clash with hubbies trips to France and I will have to get there on my own or with all the kids.

 

As for them helping me, thats a laugh. I don't know what I did wrong but they are useless. My eldest is 18 and she never lifts a finger to help. The younger 2 (14 & 11) sometimes cook the tea but thats only cos it's fun. I get to do all the rest. When hubby is here he does help but I notice it more when he's away. There is a never ending round of things that have to be done and just looking at it all makes me exhausted. My 14 year old DD asked if she could bring a friend round today and I said the house was too messy and she said "I know thats why I don't bring my friends home" I said she could help to tidy up if she wanted and she said she would clean out the tortoise, Whoopee doo.

 

To add to everything I am fatter than I have ever been in my life cos I can't exercise. Oh well life's a ###### and then you die.

[board]

hello sorry you are feeling so bad i was wondering if you my have fibromyalgia i got this and sarcoidosis you need to look this up just in case you can have a lot of ills with this typ it in and have a look all the best jill

[smiley]

Viper <'>

 

I had tears in my eyes reading your posts. You sound so desperate hunni .

 

Keep on and on at the GP - i have exactly what you described. I know how exhausting it can be <'> . I've seen lots of consultants - each opinion varies - sometimes they say it's ME, sometimes Lupus, sometimes something else..... The point is - i go on and on at them until they help, regardless of if they know what it's 'called' or not. Your in pain - that needs to be sorted. Can you take hubby or a friend with you when you go to the GP?? They are sometimes more helpful when someones there backing you up - the last thing i had energy for was to push for help, so i would get patted on the head by the GP, and i would wander home - none the wiser, and annoyed with myself for not having the energy to get the help i needed. I don't want to scare you hun - but i ended up in hospital for 10 weeks - very, very poorly. I wish now that i had pushed harder for help.

 

I would also ask you GP for something to help you through this - anti-d's? I hate taking mine - but they are helping me more than i'd like to admit <'> .

 

Your not on your own hun <'>

[DaisyProudfoot]

Hi Viper <'> <'> <'> You sound like you're at the end of your tether.

 

I can't believe the docs are not helping you As Smiley says you could be suffering from some kind of connective tissue disease (eg Lupus or Fibromyalgia), it could be ME, it could be Depression as unexplained aches and pains are very common in patients with depression - whatever it is they shouldn't be just ignoring your pain. Depression is also very common in patients with Lupus too so as you can see it just goes round and round.

 

IKWYM about the kids, mine are like that too. The older ones do make their own meals quite often but the twins are worse than useless sometimes.

 

Please try and get an emergency doctors appointment - I think I speak for us all when I say we're worried about this downward spiral you're in <'> <'> <'>

[Flora]

viper <'> <'> I don't know what you can do, though you must go to your GP. I regularly feel tired and achy but unlike you I do get the time to rest and I have a car. I can't imagine feeling like this and not having the opportunity to catch up on sleep, or if I wanted a pint of milk having to trek down to the shops.

 

Even if it's difficult to get an appointment, they do HAVE to give you one, so please do go to your GP at the earliest opportunity. If you have difficulty getting to the hospital for an appointment you can always ring in advance as soon as you know when it is and see if they have a patient transfer ambulance service; it sounds like pie in the sky but it is possible.

 

I wish I could pop in with a pint of milk and put the kettle on for you!!!

 

Hope you feel better soon <'>

 

Lauren

[Viper]

I've just got an apointment with my GP.............. wait for it .............. 22nd of june. I could be dead by then.

[DaisyProudfoot]

22nd June! Good Grief

 

Hang in there Viper. Have you considered changing to a different practice? Our GPs runs a ring on the day service, in other words you have to call them on the day of your illness and they book you in the same day - I thought they all did that now.

 

May be worth asking your local NHS Direct for a list of docs who operate this service

[smiley]

Hunni <'>

 

22nd is not good enough. Your worrying me .

 

I'd be more than happy to contact your surgery for you and try to push for something sooner (PM me), i feel you need to been seen by the end of the week at the latest <'> .

 

<'> Hang in there hun.

[Guest flutter]

22 june is not good enough

that needs to be changed

thinkin of you

C xx

[aro]

you could also try ringing each day to see if they have a cancellation! they might get the hint

The surgery must have an emergency session, go to that, balling you eyes out at the dr helps

Anna x

[rainbow queen]

viper just showing u some support honey xxx im sorry its all so ###### xxx

[Flora]

Our GP's surgery keep a certain amount of appointments each day. So if you ring at 8.30 you definately get one on that day. Viper could you ask if your surgery operate a similar system? They must do otherwise they'd never actually see anybody who was ill!!! You'd have to 'book being ill in advance'.

 

The receptionists at our surgery are like rotweillers with their standby appointments but if you are pushy enough they do cave!

 

Ring them back and tell them you can't wait that long. I mean what would have happened if you'd woke up this morning with tonsils like footballs? They'd have to fit you in so this is no different. It may not be life threatening but you are ill and need to see your GP before ###### June!!!!

 

 

Lauren <'>

[Bagpuss]

Viper,

 

Hang in there <'> <'> I would be ringing the GP surgery back and explaining that a more urgent appointment is needed. You sound so low, you need to talk things thru with family and GP, and gather as much support, help and advice and you can. Not easy I know, but try to explain to GP how tough you are finding day to day living, and I would be tackling older kids to help out more. I had a huge lump in my throat just reading your post, and any GP worth their salt would be seeing you alot earlier if they were able to know how bad things are for you. I know depression can cause awful physical problems, and have seen friends go thru hell physically, to find out later they were suffering from depression. Just a possible suggestion, and something to consider. Thinking of you, and take care <'> <'>

[MumTee]

Sending you some <'> <'> <'> Viper - hang in there and keep talking to us x

[mel]

aww viper <'> <'> <'>

[lynyona]

<'> viper <'> <'> <'> .Sorry that you are not feeling well i agree with the others see if you can get an appointment earlier that is just ridiculous.what you were saying about the kids mine are exactly the same the only one that ever does anything is the eldest and he works all day its taken him a long time to get there and dh tries bless but id rather he didnt if he was going to make a hash of whatever he does.the only thing he is good at is changing the channel on the tv and he has been known to do that badly lol

[Bullet]

I'm sorry you and everyone else affected is going through this Viper. Hope you all get the help and support you need soon.

[zaman]

Sorry for butting in, but I really can't help but think that your kids are old enough to be taking on some of the household responsibilities - especially bearing in mind that you are clearly ill, and they need to be supporting you. Can you all draw up a rota of who does what when? At least if the basics are covered it'll give you a bit of breathing space. And teach them some valuable lessons about responsibility.