Emum Report post Posted July 17, 2006 I've just gone to pick my NT son up from school, and overheard some mums talking at the school gate about the trip which the school has arranged tomorrow for the reception year children to go and play with the similar age children at my daughter's special school. One mum said that she was not permitting her son to go, because she didn't thought that he was too young to have to see people like that - ie children with autism! Not one to let this pass, I told her that my daughter was at the school and was one of the children that her son would have been meeting, that she and the other children in her class were not some strange, odd or frightening children, just children like any others who had difficulties with their communication, and that her son had almost certainly seen and met my daughter on many times already as she was often at my son's school playing in the playground. She replied that she thought that her child was "too sensitive" to have to deal with such things at his age. I have to say at this point, I was getting really annoyed so I told her that I felt sorry for her son, who was never going to be able to accept anyone with any differences if those were the attitudes he was exposed to at home. Her response to this was "No offence, love!" hmm Offence definitely taken though. I'm just so shocked that people aren't embarrassed to express views like this openly in this day and age - not so surprised they have them though given some of the experiences others have posted on here. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caren Report post Posted July 17, 2006 Its people like her who are ignorant and spend there life and there childrens (who have no choice) causing ###### for our children Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paula Report post Posted July 17, 2006 Well done for speaking out when i bet yer fealt like smacking her in the face. Folks dare say alsorts out loud and then cover there track by the "no offence" line they get on yer nerves. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lancelot Report post Posted July 17, 2006 It runs below the surface in even the nicest seeming people, often without thinking about it. My husband once admitted to me, during one of those antenatal tests that looked bad, that seeing people who flapped or made strange noises or twisted their faces into grimaces just gave him the shivers and frightened him. He's had to get over it, but he deals least well with C, not surprisingly, when C is doing any of those things (or sometime all three at once!). In the village where I was a child, we had two of the old-style huge 'mental hospitals', where half the parents worked. They were grim old places, and I'm glad they've closed, but every Cub and Brownie went to joint events with the hospital packs, almost every schoolchild went there on some sort of community service, we had joint Christmas parties, etc, etc. Familiarity removes the fear, which is what's really bothering your small-minded acquaintance. (Mind you, we found the hospital llamas pretty frightening, I seem to remember!) Good for your school. Hope they make it compulsory. After all, my other two kids are 'sensitive', no doubt yours is too, but they don't get the choice of opting out. And my most sensitive child is the ASD one, who has to put up with some seriously weird behaviour from his NT schoolmates, which causes him almost daily fear. Off soapbox now! L Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted July 17, 2006 Well done to you for tackling this parent. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted July 17, 2006 Well done you for speaking out.Looks like organisations such as NAS don't need to worry about being surplus to requirements just yet.If that is what some people are willing to say in public loud enough to be herd-what goes on in their head does not bear thinking about. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
marshmallow Report post Posted July 17, 2006 Well done for speaking up! Prejudice is never going to be stamped out at this rate, is it? Having said that, a relative of DH once said that they couldn't understand how parents of children with disabilities could love them! This was despite the fact that the knew my DS and my sister , who has downs syndrome. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted July 17, 2006 WELL DONE 4 STICKING UP 4 HER SOME PEOPLE R SO NARROW MINDED REECE HATED GOING TO SCHOOL WHILST HE HAD A STAND IN TEACHER COVERING MAT LEAVE AND WOULD SCREAM AND KICK AND BITE ME AT THE GATE AND SOME OF THE MOTHERS WOULD STAND THERE MAKING JUDGEMENTS ON ME AND TUTTING REALLY WISH I COULD OF STOOD UP MORE MOST OF THE TIME I TRY TO IGNORE COMMENTS <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted July 17, 2006 Well done for speaking out. Even though the silly cow wouldn't admit it, I bet she's learned something. If she's seen your autistic daughter and not realised she was "like that," then maybe she realised that children with special needs aren't that scary after all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bullet Report post Posted July 17, 2006 Stupid woman and well done to you for giving her the real side of things. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mel Report post Posted July 17, 2006 Well done you for speaking out. it makes me so mad that ignorant people like that think that they can say what they want then end it with "no offence" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarerQuie Report post Posted July 17, 2006 Glad you spoke out.perhaps she'll think again.xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stephanie Report post Posted July 19, 2006 What a stupid cow. I can only have ill will against people like that ... Well done for having your say! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
board Report post Posted July 19, 2006 hello i think a lot of it is down to not knowing about it most people think of the rainman it up to people like us to show that our chilren are nice frinedly children that look on the world a diffrent way and they are not as bad as people make out to be honest with you i never heard of asd untill my dd6 was dx with it so i didnt need to know untill then so most people are like that we understand it becouse our children got it and need to know i got sarcoidosis but if i said that to you you would say whats that untill i explain to you then you know so thats why it inportant to tell people so they undrstand if we teach the perants then mybe they will teach the children hope i havent up set anyone with what i wrote all the best jill Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emum Report post Posted July 19, 2006 I have no problem with people asking what autism is, and depending on how it is done also no problem with people asking me why my daughter is as she is. I do however have a big problem with people who say that they do not want their child to come into contact with all children who have autism, in a way which implies that the autistic children have something to be ashamed of, or should be kept hidden away, lest they upset other children. You are right that I haven't ever heard of your condition, but however it manifests itself I would hope that I would treat you in the same way as anyone else if I met you, and that I would certainly not take the view that you should hide yourself away and not mix with other people who don't have the condition just because you have it. If it's not acceptable to treat people of different races, religions, sex or sexual orientation in this way, then it certainly isn't right to treat people who are disabled or ill in this way. My personal view is that you should judge a society (and individuals too) by how they treat those who are most vulnerable. It is easy to be nice to and to respect those who you think are more powerful than you, or who may be able to help you in every day life, but the true test of character is how you treat those who are dependent on you, or who make demands on you which in a perfect world you would wish were not made. Sorry to get on my soapbox but this is something I feel strongly about and not just in the context of autism but as a life philosophy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted July 19, 2006 Very well said emum I agree absolutely Karen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LizC Report post Posted July 19, 2006 Hi well done on sticking up for your dd and all our kids!!! isn't life made harder by ignorant people! it is hard enough without things like that!! it is a silly comment she made too after all some special needs kids attend main stream too. my son does, he doesn't look any different just feels different!! in fact kids deal with things like this brilliantly and the younger they are the better they deal with children who are a bit different! my youngest is almost 3, he has always had to 'deal' with autism lol, he and my older dd will be coming to my sons autism group on friday night. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
forbsay Report post Posted July 20, 2006 Well done on speaking out............. When my asd son goes to playpark - you should see some of the looks he gets from others - i ignore them! Forbsay x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted July 20, 2006 i get really annoyed about myself cos i dont speak up,i was at the bus stop today and this toddler was really playing up,the mother was really trying to control her and this other woman goes to me she needs a good smack round the legs,what did i say,nothing just looked away,i dont know if the child was NT but i couldnt think of anything to say,it annoys me so much,did these people forget what its like to have young kids,well done for saying something,i hate ignorant people Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
