Lesley

DLA info! I only found out about this from another parent! Lx

Something for siblings & carer support contacts Lx

Hi Lauren It sounds as if your review went exactly the same way as mine 'I'm sorry Mrs W - we just don't see it in the classroom'. (The fact that I myself saw him hitting another child for putting the farm animals in the zoo box doesn't appear to worry them...if he does this at 4 what will it develop into?...) We went to tribunal as our son has a speech and language disorder aswell as AS and ADHD; we even went to the top of the NHS Nuffield Centre to confirm the SALT diagnosis. Then the newly qualified LEA SALT turned up at the tribunal and told them the tests they did were unreliable, the headteacher claimed he was only on School Action, not Action Plus and they insisted there was no cause for concern. James had refused to see the EP and SALT in school for internal assessment & they decided it was cos he wasn't feeling well! (We know it was because his routine dictates that he's supposed to be in class with everyone else and can't be different ) We lost the case My advice? Take your professionals with you to tribunal - they don't listen to parents point of view Sorry to put a damper on things Lx

At my brothers wedding the vicar tried to be amusing and made a joke about tupperware parties - congregation titters then my then 3 yr old daughter exclaimed loudly 'was that supposed to be funny then?...' Lx

My AS 4 year old rugby tackles people to greet them. He bruises if he kisses. He can't stroke a cat, he has to lie on top of it. My self dx hubby has gone through I don't know how many mops- he breaks them in 2 Breaks household appliances Broke the loo trying to fix it Over-threads screws trying to tighten too hard The list could go on Tonight we have no milk in the door of our fridge cos he pulled the shelf off Does anyone else experience 'heavy-handedness' (is that a word?!) Is it an aspie thing? Lx

My AS 4 year old will watch the same dvd for days too Lx

Hi admum Sounds like you're in exactly the same boat as me except you have a statement to challenge them on. They are not allowed to change that without good reason - I'd be asking for evidence through assessment results My son has been in SEN pre-school for 2 years now going mainstream primary & they wont assess him Their SLT says his language delay has caught up The independent & specialist NHS SLT consultant from the Nuffield says he has a language disorder They are disregarding the AS dx They claim they have to decide how much weight to give the dx as the independents 'don't know the system' excuse me I thought it was about medical diagnosis They say they want to wait and see how he gets on in mainstream as he's made so much progress Yes he's made progress but what about the AS, ADHD, S&L disorder that hasn't gone away? Tribunal Oct Lx

We go to the kids dept in Russell & Bromley I was really suprised when someone suggested trying in there but they were right They have clarks, startrites, k's, their own brand & loads of others We get loads of choice for the 'odd' sizes They have a toy box, dvd playing and 'funny' mirrors all around. The biz! Lx

I'd probably be awful. I'd hand out statements to whoever needed them Spend all the money wasted in tribunals & barristers on resources & training for schools Probably get the sack after a week Lx

Got ours yesterday Had to get the new assistant learning the ropes but it wasn't too bad We have a lovely shoe shop with lots of toys/distractions including finding nemo on dvd in the corner Ended up with velcro school shoes - �37!!!! They were the only pair that fitted my sweet babe - he struggles to keep up age 3 trousers, has size 10 feet but with a 'D' width fitting!! The shoes were last bit of the long journey to find stuff that fitted...... And glow in the dark trainers - less distraction? Lx

wow that's deep! not looking like a simple answer to this one then guys!! Lx

We found the best help was reading as much as possible about AS (hubby self dx, me with traits) There are some good books about living with AS; 'An Asperger Marriage' and AS - Re-defining normal' You'll find them on the NAS website - I bought mine from Amazon We found the more we read about how other people cope the more we could talk about it My husband is now going for formal dx & has even found the stregnth to talk to his boss about it A year ago if I'd sked him 'what's up' he'd have said 'I dont know, leave me alone' Hope its useful Lx

Karen We are in Andover - the link takes you to Winchester & Andover area http://www.carercentre.com/ You really must get in touch they are fab (well have been for me) The head of the centre is Kerry ask for her she is sooooooo understanding & helpful Let me know how you get on Lx

Hi Elaine Not good on the digestion - wouldn't recommend it Nice to know its not just me with a variable diet though....makes me feel understood! Hoping for a nice desert today to take the taste away....! Lx

PMT add a throb of headache teaspoon of nausea 2 big dollops of AS pinch of NT stir in 1 1/2 hour trip to shoe shop meltdown over choice of crisps shake in ADHD top with holiday ....... just today's choice recipe....... Lx

Sorry if this is a ramble but Flutter I found your comment about the TV interesting... When the psychologist came to assess James' AS at home he diagnosed ADHD after 1/2 hour with James in his bedroom - no distractions/siblings/TV - just James in his bedroom. Apparently his eyes and ears tune into different things all the time which is why he finds it so difficult to concentrate on one thing - there at least 2 if not 4 messages getting to his brain constantly. He explained that's why the TV works so well for him - both eyes and both ears can all tune in to the same thing and everything else pretty much gets blocked out! I have to admit that since a baby the TV has been the only thing that ever got James to sit still more than 30 seconds (not an exaggeration!) in fact he could stay there for hours but the second you turned the TV off he was away again.... Lx

My hubby is self dx & when he has to face a new situation I find out as much as I can about it and try & predict for him the issues he's likely to meet. If I can do a 'reccie' its better as he has a hang up about bins & loos & likes to know in advance what they're like. Pictures / brochures of the new surroundings help - also maps, tourist info, train timetables etc We have to think about it all the time at home too- I had to go on a training course one Sat leaving him to take my daughter to her swimming lesson & he really appreciated me talking him through the whole process right down to where the lockers were in relation to the door etc. He was then able to ask me 'but what if this happens' & I could give him suggestions of how to handle it. For him it's reducing the anxiety of the unknown by trying to gain familiarity in advance Lx

My 4 year old James does it to his 5 year old sister all the time - we even took pictures of the bite mark on her arm last time cos it was so bad. Most of the time it's just his way of playing - he doesn't realise we dont know he's laying power rangers unless he tells us. He's always rugby takled peers and adults alike just to say hello He and my AS hubby are v. heavy handed - like they have a low pain tolerance & dont realise what hurts others. James will bruise me if he kisses me - its like he wants to get inside me. They also never know when to stop. We always get him to apologise & make up if he's gone overboard but he can never stop himself mid-flow. My AS hubby says he gets the same thing - when your in the heat of the moment you just forget all the social rules you've learnt. I'd also appreciate some tips!!! Lx

Our son (4) was dx in May with AS and has some sort of speech & language disorder which they haven't got to the bottom of yet. I spoke to AFASIC who are a parental support group for children with speech & language difficulties & they suggested I start with the Nuffield Hearing & Speech Centre, based in the Throat, Nose & Ear Hospital in London. They specialise in verbal dyspraxia. Cutting out the long story about our c**p LEA blocking our referral, we finally got to our appointment on 4 Aug. They did loads of tests based on his speech sound system (which we have had paid for independent intense therapy for over the last year) and they concluded that this had definitely paid of. Basically James can now make all the individual sounds required to speak so this ruled out verbal dyspraxia, although it was noted that he still has weak lip muscles & a tendency to dribble. They then went on to say that the problem facing James is putting these individual sounds together in a sequence to make words and phrases (the more sounds needed in a sequence, the more jumbled it sounds). This is a LANGUAGE disorder rather than a speech disorder. Our next step is to ask our SALT for an in-depth language assessment which we are apparently entitled to and cant refuse. (We have been asking for 2 years for one). Hope this helps Afasic are good for advice L xxx

James (4) is hopeless. Any 'boy toy' advert he sees he announces 'I want one of those for my birthday'. That's EVERY advert for a boys toy. His birthday is April. Any 'girl toy' he sees he announces ' that's for your birthday' to his sister. EVERY girlie toy. Looking forward to the day he learns how to prioritise / choose a favourite & stick to it for 30 secs.... L xxx

Wow thanks Karen I had a feeling they didn't care Mind you they'll need a barrister this time as they chose the wrong parent to argue with The carer service I mean is www.carercentre.com They are part of the Princess Royal Trust for Carers No-one told me about them I had to find out myself but they have been wonderful They are going to fill in all my DLA/Carers Allowance forms and take them to tribunal if they wont pay up And she's going to come to our SEN tribunal in Oct My dreams are answered! L xxx

LKS, I can really empathise with you. My husband is now self diagnosed AS after years of alcoholoism & depression. He's just referred himself for official dx not for himself (like your husband he cant see the point after getting this far) but for our son in the hope that it will somehow benefit him. He's always said it was his state of mind that wasn't right. We now think the alcohol was self medication - it drowned out his anxiousness & he never knew what it meant to socialise in a pub - all he knew was: pub - go to bar - have drink - etc. He never really saw all the other people in there and missed the socialising point of it which in the end facilitated his lonely drinking. Alcoholics Anonymous never really worked due to his difficulties with social communication so now we manage it between us. Have you thought of the alcohol this way? I have to say that it wasn't until I got him to read a few books about AS (because of our son's dx) that he really started accepting it which paved the way to talking about it which has lifted the load a bit. I'm now able to tell him if he's being 'aspie' and we can talk about how he could approach things differently. Sometimes its still really exasperating but getting easier all the time. He has even started looking at the lighter side - the last time we went on holiday he informed me 'guess what? I've got a new OCD!!!' In addition to checking all the lights, plugs (managed to unplug the fridge before one holiday & everything perished), windows and doors, I now have to turn on & off all the taps too! (thats 6 sets in our house...) The key for me was getting him to open up & talk about it. L xxx

I dont mind James going into mainstream as I hope he will learn more about the NT world and how to cope - at this stage at least. However not without any support!!!!! The fact that we're fighting even at assessment level really amazes me considering he's been in an SEN pre-school for the past 2 years Lx

I can definitely relate to that - my sons idea of tidying up the mess on the floor (if he gets past meltdown) is chucking it all on the bed! L xxx

honestly - get in touch with the carer service http://www.carercentre.com/ they've been brilliant L xxx