alibaly

Proceed with great caution as you may not get a council house due to the fact you have deliberately made yourself homeless. Speak to your local housing officer as well as your county or borough councillor, they will be well up on the rules but once again do not go down this road until you have sought qualified advice. I have a suspicion, from something that I read on another list, that its a very difficult if not impossible thing to do.

Well my son was autistic from the time he was in the womb, things just felt different. Within minutes of his birth I expressed concern but was told I was imaging things, to me his eyes just did not look right, had another paed come and look at him and was told the same thing. By the time he was 12 months old I was telling people he was autistic , I'd known for months what was wrong but kept it to myself as I knew people would just pooh pooh me. When he was 15 months old I told my HV, she was a friend and said, "if thats what you think then it must true." Thereafter followed 3 years of hell on earth to try and get a diagnosis but I now understand that our doctors just didn't have the exposure to autism to be able to make a diagnosis. I wish they'd told me that though instead of trying to hide it, call me an over concerned mother and suggest I get a job One even told me, "I have a friend in Birmingham, his son is autistic and your son is nothing like him, he's not autisitc in any way at all." and of course my sons good eye contact was another thing they beat me over the head with..........######! I told them I could understnd there attitude if I was going into their office and saying, "I think my son is autistic, please make it not be true." Instead I was telling them of my concerns and asking them to agree with me just so I knew what we could do next. I could weep even now, that bit still hurts. Anyway one day my husband had enough and kicked up a big fuss, well truth be told he'd had enough of me going on and on as he didn't want it all to be true. Within days a letter was on it way to Lorna Wing and within 3 months we saw her and Judith Gould. The diagnosis was Classic Kanners Autism at the more profound end of the scale, she said it was so obvious she knew within one minute of us walking into Elliot House The visit was funded by my husbands employers who had been told by the station doctor that I was quite ill with the stress of it all and that something had to be done. My husband, lovely man that he is knew deep down inside that something was amiss he just wasn't ready for the diagnosis, he tells me that when we went for the diagnosis he really did think we'd get told our son was tongue tied or something. I know this paras a bit jumbled but just as a write one thing something else comes to mind. Anyway here we are, my son is 14 and a half now and has come on in leaps and bounds, he'll always require round the clock care but he has a life of great quality. He manages his day, he is very independent all things considered and never stops talking. He can manage sentences of to 8 words and now strings loads of sentences together, he can even fight with his brothers and sisters, thats not bad at all for a boy who didn't speak at all until he was 9 and a quarter.

What about that guy on Law and Order, special victims unit.? Is he a token aspie character because the producers of the show want to appear hip? I hope not because they way he protrays an Aspie is blooming disgraceful.

My sons diet is atrocious due to sensory issues and he was getting to be on the plump side. A few months back we strated taking him for a stroll every evening and on a Wednesday he goes to a 'spinning' class at the gym. Its for teenagers and they have been marvellous to him, the person sitting next to him changes the gear for him according to the pace, he really enjoys it and its good for the other kids as well to be with him. When I was enquiring about him joining up I just said to the lady, "would you like to make a difference in the life of an autistic teenager," she jumped at the chance and said, "yes, it will be good for all of us." Anyway he has now trimmed down and just last week got his first pair of age approporiate jeans - withought an elasticated/drawstring waist. He looked to die for I think if we had wanted him to bodybuild etc the gym would have said no as he is too young but as its an aerobic class they were happy to let him have a go, what he does is really no different from NT kids playing football/rugby or going for a long bike ride at the wekend. hth

My 14 year old has been on it for 3 years now, it's fantastic. When I first started him on it I didn't tell anyone as I was afraid they'd think I'd lost the plot, within 6 weeks people were commenting on the changes in him - I'd seen big improvements within days. You can buy it in various flavours and forms, ie capsules, granules, liquid and a smoothie kind of thing, you can even apply it but only about 60% will be absorbed so double the does. Of late it has been said that our children need double the dose anyway, but my son has been great on the normal dose. You can almost always get it in Boots priced at 3 for 2.

We use melatonin and have done for 2 years now, it has been a godsend, 12 years of getting by on 4 or 5 hours sleep a night was not a joke though we did cope by having catnaps in the day etc. My son was like so many others I've heard of over the years, he just couldn't fall asleep, once he was asleep though he did sleep but getting him to sleep was really difficult.

I can't offer you any practical advice on the school front because I home ed but I can offer you a big hug and a whole lot of thoughts. xxxx

I was having a wee browse, came across this thread, and wonder what the eventual outcome was. I'm really hoping it was all a big mistake because it is truly awful, I'm shocked to my core.

I'm sure they'll appreciate the really nice gesture.

so what do the kids have when your scoffing the crisp and chocolate buttons.

anytime we're in the uk we use the 'disabled' changing room and its great, we've never been refused access and we can all fit in together. My 14 year old son loves swimming but as he's a 'big boy' now its not easy to take him swimming herebecause of the cultural aspect of things , he just doesn't understand he can't jump in the water on top of a group of girls and yell..."Hi how are you." We have a rule where he is not allowed to touch a non-family members swimming costume and for the most part he is great with it, however we have been so worried that one day he could get into trouble that we have now built him a swimming pool at home. It will be ready soon and we're really looking forward to him having a normal life around the pool as water plays such a big part in his life, he won't be isolated, he's one of 47 children in the extended family and everyone is looking forward to coming for a swim. He made us laugh a few months ago, we were at the beach and this absolutely gorgeous young girl of about 21 started wading out to have a swim. Quick as a flash my son was after her, he was yelling, " Hi wait for me, my name is..........." My daughter had to grab him by the ankle and drag him back to us, he just started swimming harder, she had to pull him back harder, over and over again Of course the girl picked up on the commotion, she must have though she knew us cos she waved and started to come toward us, yikes!!!! Anyway we got it all sorted out and it was just as well because whilst this was going on we realised her boyfriend, who had been off to one side snorkelling, had come quite close to the fiasco and even from where we were it was very obvious he was well into bodybuilding. AAARRGGHH Thankfully though they were really nice and very understanding but it could possibly have been very different. Mind you though I think it's probably our concerns that are out of kilter rather than the possibel reactions of others.

Its common for our children to have sensory issues and it could be that your wee girl just does not like the feel of clothes because they actually bother her and perhaps cause her acute discomfort. Its also possible that sensory issues are also causing her problems with food, it could be that her sense of taste and smell is over or under developed. What tastes ok to us might just be totally off putting to her and the same applies to the texture as well. I remember at one stage my son lived on toast and flora , browned to the same level each day and cut into 4 squares of the same size. We had to use a timer to make toast There were control issues involved in that stage of his eating, he was feeling unsafe in the world and was creating his own safety net by not letting his toast change. At the same time he new for sure that his toast done the way it had to be done wasn't going to give him any surprises taste and texture wise. Even a homemade cake caused him distress, it was murder getting the ingredients exactly right as he could tell if I had put even a wee bit too less or too much of this or that, his sense of taste was so keen. Of course being autistic he wanted it to be exaclty the same each time he had it. My son is 14 and a half now and his eating habits are awful, he lives on half a dozen food items. The strange thing is that he is never sick and is a strapping lad who will one day be well over 6 foot. I used to get all worried about his eating untill I read a book called CAN'T EAT WON'T EAT, its written by the mother of an autistic child and the very frank contributions from those on the spectrum helped me to understand just what was happening him to him foodwise (sensory). Even now when he gets his dinner the first thing he does is smell it and if it doesn't smell ok he won't eat it, I've noticed that his food has to be very hot and that way its seems to make the smell acceptable to him, cooler food is a turn off. That brings me to the aversion he has to our kitchen, its spotless but he wil not go in it as it makes him retch. In spite of our efforts there is obviously something he can smell that we can't , an invisible smell. We have the fridge just at the entrance to the kitchen door so he can get his drinks etc but even so he enters backwards then makes a run for it once he has his drink. thats my boy

I've heard of this kind of problem so often over the years and Carole is spot on with her answer.

Your so called friend knows what her son is capable of and is actaully doing, thats why she's covering all bases when defending him. They do say attack is the best form of defense. Now that her son hs been told to stay away from your son she will have no room to manouvre when the next incindent occurs, as it will, she will have to face the truth. I would think very carefully about being friends with a woman who could so carefully set up an ambush in her living room, she was on her home ground and was in charge. I would imagine she even had her seat arranged in a way to intimidate you, the best positioned seat in the room so to speak, and that it was perhaps higher than yours. Maybe you could post something about autism through her letter box and ask that she reads it and then decide, based upon her reaction to it, whether you still want to be frineds with her or not. Then again you could perhaps just kick it all into to touch as of now now and try to make a nice new friend. Either way though I think I'd still post something through the letter box. with ref. to mc31's foirst post on the subject One day I'd had enough of hearing that old refrain aboaut a walloping etc, I turned around and in a very loud voice just said, "wow a beating as a cure for autism, why don't you phone the News Of The World and tell them? You'll make a fortune"

suze, I can understand yo being worried abaout 'stirring things' but the fact you are worried abaout this indicates there is something far wrong going on here with regards to the schools attitude, at least. In view of that is it really the right place for him to be? Also, if you did stir things to the extent you had to take your son out out of school it would be for the best as the school would obviously not be the best place for him. hth

what is happening to the boy who is doing the bullying, does the school have an anti bullying policy in place?

I'm very sorry this is happening to your son. I was at school with a girl that was kept in at playtime etc for some reason that we were never made aware of, and in all honesty it just made her more of a target for those who were that way inclined. I think doing this will make him stick out like a sore thumb even more but if he was kept at home for a wee while it could be put down to anything until everything is sorted.

well done

If it's any consolation my own son usually goes through periods of what appears to be a regression before he takes giant leaps forward.

at facing the nation

Bid, thats exactly how I feel about some of the things the parents did. I haven't been to one of the ladies talks but have, over the years, come across her story being discussed on many lists. My son is very good at waiting but it wasn't always like that , in fact he is really patient but if I had subjected him to a 2 hour long line in a theme park in order to teach him how to wait, I'm sure it would be a very different story. For me that would have been bordering on cruelty, its almost as if the line itself is being used as an adversive, and I must stress I'm talking about the lines in theme parks. I do however take my hat off to her parents for introducing her and teaching her how to 'be' in as many different situations as possible, its what we have always done and it has worked really well. Hello Brook lol

you're absolutely correct

I think the important bit here is that she talks about what 'her' autism is. Maybe she can wait in line at theme parks, what about the children with sensory issues who can't? My son would be very uncomfortable if someone stood behind him especially if there was a danger of them coming into contact with the back of his neck, in fact he'd do a fantastic impression of a turtle but it wouldn't be funny. If she doesn't want to use the special passes then she shouldn't but she should accept that for some they are a god send. I can understand that those on the more able end of the spectrum do not want to be seen as 'disabled' for want of a better way to put it but those who are at the severe end of the spectrum are disabled and deserve special concessions. How does she feel about the likes of 'blue badges' for parking? Re your last paragraph Mandy I'm surprised she felt the need to explain those things and as parents shoule we really need them explained? I think its thekind of stuff you suss out for yourself very early on into things. I'm glad you enjoyed it though

My first reaction to this is - how dare she. I could weep but then again maybe she will be sympathetic to the child and explain to the parents that the childs percieved naughtiness is actually a symptom of something being amiss.

I think you should get him seen by a docotr in order to rule out a form of epilepsy.