ediebee

Karen, thanks for your kindness. After having had chance to sleep on it all, I am going to phone parent partnership on Monday, they have been very supportive in the past and have helped guide us through the stormy times, and I'll phone his consultant and get his next appt brought forward if I can. I know we are better off than many of you out there, with the level of support he has in school and being statemented etc.I hope you are all getting somewhere at helping your children, it really is a marathon for us all, and sometimes it feels like the finish line keeps being moved and the course is very much up hill. But a good runner responds to the cheers of the crowd and knowing all of you are out there is making me feel strong. I talked to my boy this morning and he wants to feel that he can cope again ,and we talked about the good times and how happy he has felt, I know many of you are not impressed by medication, but for my son combined with the help he gets in school (not from the head ,he's a total b-----d sorry!), it has given him a fighting chance. Again thank you for reading my post, it helps so much to know people care.

Hello everone, it's been a while since we've been on the forum, have checked in from time to time to keep up with you all. Anyway having a rough time at the minute, sorry to be in touch over troubled times. Son has been on meds for 18 months now and things overall have improved. But recently he's had some anger outbursts that have reached a whole new level, threatening teachers with scissors today and throwing chairs. I feel really down that we just seem to go round in circles, but I know I'm feeling drained by it all again. Head teacher has told me that he'll be speaking to the "authorities", (son is statemented with 30 hours 1-1 support). I don't know what advice any of you can offer, our our children are so different, what works with one isn't right for another. Is home schooling the right option ? The head has been trying to off load him into a EBD school for years, but he has autism and ADHD diagnosed, just don't know what to think tonight. Thanks for listening, it helps to know you are all out there too.

Many thanks Annie and barefoot wend, Tomorrow will be easier just for having some information to take along so we can look at it together. Thanks so much for your replies, I feel a bit stronger for tomorrow already. There's nothing like getting support from those who really understand. Thanks so much, Ediebee X

Thanks Annie, our son is aged 8 now (year three/first year of juniors). Ediebee X

Hello mum22boys, it's a funny old time when you finally get that diagnosis, but when our eldest boy was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD it was a relief, we knew what to call "it", and it helps us to look in the right places for help and advice. I truly hope all goes well for you, the paed. sounds like a good'un, and that's got to be a huge help. Take care.

Hello everyone, It's been a while since we've posted anything. We remember with great thanks how kind you all were to us when we started our son on medication last year, things have plodded on pretty much the same as with many of you, life is more settled for our boy since meds, they help him, but he still has problems mainly in school. Recently meds were increased after a pretty rocky period. I think this lulls the teacher into thinking he'll be easier to handle, and we all know how niave that is. Well after a day of another huge temper outburst where tables were knocked over, fists were raised and he was determined to escape from the classroom, another meeting has been called in school tomorrow. His teacher wants me to help come up with some statgies to help with his anger outbursts. This is good that she wants to discuss things, but after 3 years of trying to suggest things I'm running out of ideas. He does have a statement with 30 hours support, and you all know how much work that took to achieve that level of suport for him. It's just that it is of course never ending and right now I could do with any ideas any of you may have used. Thanks for anything !! Ediebee.

Jenny, I think you must be a very strong person and you are definately doing the right thing by your little girl, it might be worth getting some advice from the Parent partnership officer for your LEA. I know there's good ones and not so good ones but they do guide us as parents as to what to do next, and through the minefield of getting the right support and help for our children. It may also go in your favour as you are actively seeking help and advice from the right people to get the most appropriate support for her in the long run. I really hope things work out for you, don't give up or be beaten down by it all, things always take too long for us as parents but sometimes things can be put in place if we fight long enough and shout loud enough to the right people. Take care, Ediebee XX

Our sons school have eventually made a visual timetable for him to organise his time at lunchtime. he does share a dinner time assistant with another child. He has chosen activities that he enjoys such as bird watching, or train spotting (through the very high fence and under strict supervision), activities that are not hard for school to provide, just using what's there really and what he used to want to do anyway. Another easy one is a long walk all round the school fields on a bug hunt. His visual timetable is up on the wall at eye level for him so that as lunchtime approaches he can check that particular days activities and hopefully feel less stressed about filling his time. Recently school have added a "play with friends" part of his time and he is coping with this at the moment as it is just for 10 mins and his school mates also seem to have realised that he needs to be included but at just 10mins they tolerate him better than having him for the whole lunchtime. Better 10 mins positive play, than an hour and a half of being rejected. This seems to be working well. It's to everyones advantage if your child returns from breaks not feeling stressed and unhappy, the afternoons may be better also. I'm not saying it's going to fix everything but it certainly helps and isn't that hard to provide really.

Hello everyone, Our sons first annual review is coming up in two weeks time, he is statemented and recieves 20 hours support per week. We have a form from school to fill with our views of his progress and the future. We were hoping some of you could give us some advice or tips on what to watch out for. We have a good parent partnership officer who will be accompanying us, but still feel anxious about it, (and rightly so judging by what goes on with our children!!!). Thanks as always, the Ediebees.

Tylers mum, have some of these, <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> I hope I've sent you hugs !!! We all have times like this with our children, but it doesn't mke it any easier when it's our turn for a humdinger. Take care.

Thought it was about time we let you know how we are going on with the meds. After many attempts at getting our son to take his meds. we decided to wait till we had the next psychiatrist appt. However things got really out of hand at school, and like a very good friend said to us , sometimes being backed in a corner makes you come out fighting. Well we didn't fight our son (you'll all be glad to know !!), we didn't fight school, we fought the situation and expained to our son what the meds. are supposed to do and asked him how he felt when he was at school or anywhere new. Well the next day he got up and took his meds. no problem and so far so good. As you all know meds. were not our favourite option at all. We were very scared of them. Well at the moment, and we know that things are always changing, his life seems much happier. The medication seems to give him enough time to think before he does something, and has certainly improved his concentration. The best change we have noticed is that more of the other kids are shouting hiya to him in a nice way, and he's talking about playing with the other kids as well. We know it'll never be easy for him but if his medication is giving him more of a chance at joining in and feeling happy then we can't argue with it. At risk of repeating ourselves though, we do thank all of you who replied to us when things felt desperate. We're realistic enough to know we'll have more desperate times, it seems to go with the territory, but at the minute we're making the most of a better run. Thankyou, the Ediebees.

Thanks for all your tips and supportive words, we'll keep trying because like some of you have found the medication has helped your children. It's more the pressure we feel for him to have changed, and become more controlled, and of course there won't be much difference yet. Well our time frame is life, not a term ! So the impatient, unsupportive, narrow minded, headteacher will just have to put up with us all for a bit longer. Thanks everyone you're really helping us through a tough time and we really do appreciate all your advice. "The Ediebees".

Hello Justamom, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down at the moment, I've been a bit like that myself recently. It helps to know people care, and I really think all the people on this forum do care about each other and their families. Sometimes we cope so well we amaze ourselves and then sometimes stuff just gets to you. I hope you feel better soon. Ediebee.

Thanks for your replies. You are right in saying that we don't feel there are any problems at home that warrent meds. It's funny, but his last week in school he was given a trophy for behaving much better, what a surprise he finally got this after they knew about the decision to try meds. He does have 20 hours 1-1 LSA support, but there are times when he gets angry and hits out, and this is what has caused us to try the meds. We feel under constant threat of exclusion, and have thought that if meds. help him, which the psychiatrist is convinced they will, then we have to give them a try. We go back to the psychiatrist in 4 weeks so we'll try and make the best of it till then, and handle things a bit better, if he can't take the tabs. then that's that, and maybe there is some other form that we can try, but I know if the improvement is not obvious then we'll be saying no thanks. It's all such a worry, you're dammed if you do, and dammed if you don't.

Thanks JB we're a bit stuck with the the tablets as they are a slow release form, so we aren't allowed to crush them. But thanks for replying, it's good to know you good people are there.

I think you may be able to get some help in filling in the forms from maybe a citizens advice bureau, or if your local council has a childrens and young peoples service. If you phoned the council offices and explained your situation they may be able to put you on to the right people. I know it's very daunting and you have an awful lot to cope with your own health but sometimes a phone call can open some doors and maybe get you some help. I hope so .

Thanks Bid for replying Mr. Ediebee has taken the kids out to the park, and I'm sorting myself out so as not to ruin a potentially nice day. I'll tell him he's had a reply, it helps just to know we're not as alone with all this as it feels.

We've had a horrible start to our day today. Usually the school hols are of course our best time, no stress of school and being told all the "unacceptable" things our statemented and diagnosed son has done, (like we can just take him home and "fix" all his unacceptable behaviour with that magic wand I keep up my sleeve). Anyway, we have just started on medication to help his ADHD (he has ASD too), the trouble is he really struggles to swallow the tablets. This morning we didn't handle the situation well at all, and both ended up in tears in various rooms to try and not show our upset to the chidren. We feel pretty beaten by it all, we don't like the fact that we are giving him meds. but feel forced to really, otherwise his psychiatrist and school will think we've sabotaged the whole thing and aren't trying all options to help improve his behaviour. We spent over one year trying to get him statemented and supported in school, and managed it, during which time we were waiting for his CAMHS appt. finally seen after over a years wait, but again no matter what we do or achieve it never seems to be enough to help in the opinion of others. I know I'm off at the deep end today because i really feel hopeless, that our lives are just an endless round of battles and trying different things to change a child who is as he is. I really feel so fed up and beaten by the situation, I know many of you have been, and are going through the same sorts of things, and I'm just glad I can offload here to people who understand.

Sweetpea you sound so very brave, I wish I could give you some help or wise words of advice, but all I can say is it sounds as though you are doing all the right things to protect yourself and your little girl. There should be a domestic violence helpline number locally to you, or like someone else suggested Womens aid. You are so brave I think you may find the strength to contact one of these groups and I know they will help you, of course along with the police. Your little girl is very lucky to have you as her mum, and I truly hope your life becomes better.

This man was on GMTV this morning, claiming to have a cure for allsorts of "behavioral problems", as usual ASD was mentioned in his introduction but then no further mention made. His methods seem very similar to the DORE treatment, this possibly may help some people, but perhaps more so those with a good deal of insight into their difficulties eg dyslexia. I'd like to see any of these "experts" pin down my ADHD/ASD child and convince him !!!

We had to fill in a form like this. at the time the educational psychologist was involved so CAMHS decision was to await the outcome of that assessment first, it all seemed to take ages at the time, and it was ages about a year in total. But now we are under the care of CAMHS and have a diagnosis in writing, so just keep on filing in the forms, phoning and chasing up appointments, hopefully it'll be worth it to get some help and professional monitoring of your childs condition, and guidance for yourselves.

Thanks Carrie and Jen, we've been looking at all sorts of different websites for info. and ideas, it seems to be a bit of a minefield, understatement of the night !! We're going to have a really good look at as much info. as we can over the next week or so and hopefully decide which course of action, if any to take. We feel stuck between a rock and a hard place at the minute. It feels as though if we say no to meds. then we've refused help and will seem as though we're in denial of his difficulties, but if we go the meds. route then what about all the possible side effects. It's so hard to do the right thing for your child sometimes, but thanks so much for replying, it does help knowing others are faced with the same dilemmas. (That sounds terrible, we don't wish dilemmas on anyone !!)

Have been to see the childrens' psychiatrist and have been offered/recommended that we try our son on meds. Ritalin was mentioned in the form of a slow release capsule called concerta XL. We were given some leaflets, all produced by the drug company that manufactures the medication. The main problem our son is having is controlling his temper predominantely in school. He has a statement and 20 hours 1-1 support per week, but at times he becomes aggressive. School have targeted his behaviour in his recently written IEP, but as you can imagine we're not sure what to do for the best. Any info. would be great from yourselves, we're not looking for advice as such, just how things have gone for others on meds. or when you've said "No thanks". We've been told that he has ASD and ADHD, and I must admit it seems to be that the ADHD side seems to result in the most problems for him at the moment. Thanks.

Before you fill in the right form it's well worth looking at the advice here on the forum about filling it in. It's very daunting 26 pages long !!! We have just managed to get DLA for our son, and I'm sure it helped that his teacher signed the form and his dotor at CAMHs was given as a contact also. It does take time for the DWP to do their assessment but if you're claim goes through you do get all the money backdated. Take your time over the form, we did it in little bits over afew weeks, you get six weeks to fill it in. I really hope it works out for you, the money does help because you do have to do things differently and after all it's for your childs benefit. Good luck if that's the right way to put it.

We are having much the same difficuties at school with our son, they just don't seem to understand that his behaviour in not intentionally bad, thankyou for the explanation of practised behaviours, we can see that this is where the school are missing it, and will use the way you explained it at our Interim review meeting for him next week. It seems so unfair to threaten with exclusion when people are missing what is so obvious to us about our children. We are taking along our VERY supportive parent partnership officer so hopefully we can come to some positive plan with school.