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Hidden Gem

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Everything posted by Hidden Gem

  1. For me, On one level, having had someone diagnose me with AS, I remain very curious, hence why I am here. I don't belive I have AS for the simple reason I had a very damaged upbringing. I know within myself exactly what damage that has cuased and how it has affected me. But, if I lay honesty on the line, yes I would take an AS test, everytime, what have you got to lose? I am not being flippant about the process, because that admittance requires courage and I would imagine is it is a tough expeirence. but for myself, if it is a choice between doubt and confronting yourself, confront yourself everytime. I don't think traits make a disorder, as someone said here, you have to look at the whole picture, family history, upbringing, environment, what type of person you are. On a purely personal level, I do belive that in modern society we have kind of forgone responsbility and as was said here earlier, disorders fill that gap. That is a purely personal view and not a reflection on people here. I relaise there is a vast difference between those who cannot cope and those who can. Quite obviously here you have people/carers/parents who are affected by ASD and need support and on a wider scale a support network in place in order to cope. I don't particularly like crowds, who does, its awful fighting through Saturday Shopping Crowds, leave me in a crowded store and I will want out. Why, becuase I have ASD? No becuase I am quite sensitive and picky about my personal space. It's just the way I am, and I imagine it's the same many people here. There are things we don't like, not becuase we have a disorder but becuase we are all individuals. I've been told I am very good at pretending to be normal, in writing and in person, so just to break that spell I am off to dress up in my giant bumble bee suit and play table tennis with Alice, who has just popped back through the looking glass. If you feel within yourself that you might have something, or you are affected, then diagnosis everytime, difficult call though, could change everything.
  2. I have seen this test before, I got 10 when I completed and 15 when my friends done it for me. It is a bit loaded and as the test quite rightly says, it seems to be more about the type of person you are, the questions are a bit loaded, do you enjo doing things with other people, or on your own, well depends doesn't it. Somedays I want to shut the door to the world and somedays youw ant to give it a big hug. Anyway, I already know pretty much my brain, apart from my sleep disorder type thing, still interesting though. Need a proper DX though if you suspect, not least becuase it opens a whol support network.
  3. I am well aware it is total rubbish to say such a thing e.g.' if x had a.s. he would be in resedential care and not be able to lead a normal life and have a job etc' This is not something that was taken out of context that was exactly what was said to me by both hidden gem and hidden gem's partner. What was said was, after you had self diagnosed me with AS - was if I had AS to the level you suggested I would not be leading the life I did. A perfectly reasonable response to the image you protrayed. The problem is Cee Cee becuae of your own ASD it is very difficult to communicate with you, things, becuase of your condition get taken out of context, perhaps that is a failing on our part. As the info on AS seems to suggest, we need to make sure our verbal communication is crystal clar and concise, we obviously did make it clear on that occasion. It's difficult, becuase if I or anyone does not breakdown what we mean, you take it on board and it becomes a fact that you not only think about, but also effects you on a sensitive level.
  4. I have to say, I belive that was taken from something I said to Cee Cee, I must say sorry for any offence it has caused, but it was taken out of context and I have explained how it come about in a previous message. No one doubts people with As can lead successful lives, in fact I belive there is an employment website for people with ASD - postive tips, types of work etc etc. It is a prime example of how taking something out of context and passing it off as fact not only causes rumour but also offence. For people who have struggled and suffered and feel let down, these comments only continue harbour the mistrust, it would be helpful if, before people made these comments, they actually thought it through and the damage they cause. Even it had been true, does it reaaly advance people's cause here, no, of course not. Going back to another post, these things create barriers which then become harder to break down and it becomes harder to reach the understanding that helps society move on in a postive and benefical way. As I said, sorry if it cause doffence.
  5. You'll notice that i edited down th epost, Much for the reasons you stated and becuase I was getting out of depth - also the sensitivity of this site has to remain in focus. the aim of my post was just to give a very basic background of the professionals. As is aid, if i had children, the sheer pain and frustration of wathing them suffer would be beyond compare.
  6. Let's hope hidden gem is never on the other side of the coin trying to get his kids diagnosed. i would feel as angry and as frustrated as everyone else, the system can be difficult and unforgiving. I can't begin to imagine the difficulties of having a family affected by ASD or any other condition.
  7. I think it was me, I worked with someone who had an ongoing ASD case, when I spoke about me having it, she said she would be surprised, considering the job I do (which understandably I won't discuss). My job requires strong social and empathic skills, and from her experience with dealing with an ASD case I did not fit the criteria. That was simply a reflection of her ASD experience, most professionals if asked would adopt that view becuase for someone to be involved in ongoing care/support then it is serious. In my profession it is a needs led assessment process as laid down by the government, Substansial and Critical needs been the highest, therefore any case is just that, at a critical stage. Most people in my profession would consider ASD serious and only serious, simply becuase that is the assessment process we all work in, no matter what specialism. that is why it is hard and often seemingly unfair for people to find support, becuase ASD is a spectrum disroder, the assessment process can throw up grey areas, unless it is at a serious stage. Again, someone has to make that decision. Which I appreciate it tough when it is tearing your family apart at home, yet the child displays some kind of so called normality when assessed. It's not that professionals do not understand, but they are only as good as their training and awareness and at the end of the day they have to work within a framework. There is a tendancy to mistrust prfessionals, which I have no doubt is often based upon experience, but they are not quite the demons the Daily Mail would have you believe. the system is not perfect and nor are all the people in it, if it does not work for you, forget the anger, campaign to raise awareness, change the system through postive action. It is only through awareness and understanding that things change.
  8. I have to add, from a professional point of view, my profession finds nothing more offensive than this 'have your cake and eat it disorder syndrome'. Those who self diagnose and say, well I have this disorder, it is not so bad that I cannot live a normal life, but it is just bad enough so that I do not have to accountabiolity or responsibility for my actions. That's an excuse, not a disroder, it is frustrating for my profession becuase there are many (as this list shows) that need help and resources are stretched, lots of people need help and support and can't get it, becuase a minority choose an illness for themselves. How lucky they are, to shop around for a disroder that suits them, if only those who find every waking moment of their day difficult, a struggle could be so flippant. I feel for them, not the excuse makers. I stress it is the minority, but if you can live a normal life, why go on about it? You could argue, but saying it is mild and then constantly mentioning it, is in fact giving into it. You've let it become part of your life. If it is mild, what does it matter?
  9. I appologise for playing, I certainly do not devalue autism, whether it be personal or professional. Love and Care? Well huge amounts of anger and hurt, but as rightly pointed out, not the palce for it here. I do have a genuine interest, but I do not really have anything worthwhile to contribute to this forum, becuase I do not have a spectrum disorder and in turn, no experience to share and ease the isolation that those who do, most likely, feel. I don't think it matters if you have personality disorder/autism/spectrum disorders/persanlity disorder, or the muddy grey that occurs between these. Each places people in a today's society in an increasinagly isolated, painful and soul destroying situation, particualr as wider soicety expects all of us to confirm more and more, the pressure is ever increaseing and the word different now has a negative meaning. My heart goes out to anyone who struggles in life, which is why in a professional capacity I have tried to put something back, learning, knowlege and just life experience is and invaluable gift and deserves to be shared. I bow, and go back to the sidelines. James
  10. No heat, just curious! Just trying to understand the line between those who, like yourself (for want of a better word) have a condition like As and those who have pyschological barriers, appreciateing, that as is often the case it is not a black and white situation. For instance, when I was knocked down by a car at 14, it made me almost sick to cross a road afterwards, but it was a pyschological barrier that eventually I overcome. If I was to be crude and basic about it, would seem that pyschological barriers can, in most cases be overcome, whereas As is the way you are born. From what you describe Lucas, it appears that you quite obviously, to yourself and others have AS. I agree, i don't think you can have mild AS, but it could be easier to self diagnose with a confdition, then face your own pyschological demons, who knows? I know very little, i am merely wading through this information.
  11. I think you'll find that is a pyschological disorder called 'spocial anxiety' and not AS - http://www.aboutphobias.com/social_phobia.html This is quite an interesting article, from what you have said, in compariosn to say Lucas, yours does not seem to be an assault on the senses, more a pyschological barrier. As you will see fromt he article, it talks of emtional problems, which by your own admission you say you have (in the sense you do not always display them). You also talked about anxiety and panic attacks here, which ties in exactly. Still a very serious condition, life altering and perhaps crippling, but based upon what you said, more psychological and emotional, anyway hope this helps. Also, what is the difference between an obsession and an interest. Just most of the great people in the world (those who have had influence, changed history, or inspired people for generations to come), the artists, the thinkers, the engineers, down to those who campaign tirelessly for a charity, they are obsessive, are they not? So how are we defining obsession, just curious that is all.
  12. So what obsessions do you pursue when you are indoors?
  13. i actually agree, and that was my point. It's easier to label creative people, as they appear to have different behaviour. Your right, just having a routine is not a reason to label someone autistic. i can't be sure but you will porbably find Judy meant in regards to chris Rea's obsession with music as well as his dedication to it, like it is his own world.
  14. I think Judy meant autistic tendancies, yes sadly it has become a desription. Creative people always, rather ignorantly get the autistic lable. I don't think Judy was been nasty or ignorant. Depression is a serious illness, but we often use that in a descriptive way. As autism becomes more of an subject or topic in society, it will by nature become slightly trivialised. This is the unfortuante pay off of making an issue more knowlegable. The reaction to her commnet, considering no one so the clip and the context it was said in is slightly bizarre, but there you go.
  15. No of ocurse not, As someone who is pyschic, I was interested that was all. Obviously that comment was about me. Before the sirens start, I belive all pyschic's and the pyschic nature related to brain and activity in the brain. I have never made eye contact easily, becuase for me people have often appeared as an open book. Being pyschic could roughly, in most cases possibly be tied in with a condition, but that is another complex and perhaps something for the future. Going back in a roundabout away, I agree, for people with a diagnosed condtion like AS then a different set of issues come into play, and enviroment drops away as a likely cause.
  16. what about if you are pyschic (for example) And when you look at people you can see all their emotions and often know what they are thinking. So heigtened is this pyschic sensitivity that it is sometimes hard to look at people, becuase often what you see is not very nice (for example) and say this had been proven time and time again, what then, I imagine it would be difficult to maintain eye contact. Becuase at the end of the day if we could see people for who they really are, much of it would not be very nice.
  17. Take a look at, http://www.ec-online.net/Knowledge/Articles/control.html Which as has been said already links control to personality and self, it is a very interesting article. You'll notice a remark in their regarding 'eye contact', which is a reminder that many personality traits/disorders diplay sysmptoms of AS and other spectrum disorders. There seems to be a tendancy to group everthing under one banner, when in fact personality type diorders play a huge part. In this the eye contact is related to anxiety, all this comes down vulnerability and self, much of which most likely stems from environment.
  18. Most control is routed in insecurity and or self esteem. An sense of insecurity can lead to wanting to control things in order so that the person can feel secure. It does not have much to do with AS - again it is a product of environment and self. Although anyone with serioud AS - control must and most likely linked to that. Happy to be proved worng, but can't think of anyone I have ever met who likes to be in control and underneath it is not insecure. Again death, it is the unknown, something we can't control and if it happens that somehow we might just die and that will be it, well it is perhaps logical to think, what is my place in this crazy universe, which could make one insecure. Having faced death head on, I can assure you it is nothing to be scared of, strnagely calming and far to inviting.
  19. Most control is routed in insecurity and or self esteem. An sense of insecurity can lead to wanting to control things in order so that the person can feel secure. It does not have much to do with AS - again it is a product of environment and self. Although anyone with serioud AS - control must and most likely linked to that. Happy to be proved worng, but can't think of anyone I have ever met who likes to be in control and underneath it is not insecure. Again death, it is the unknown, something we can't control and if it happens that somehow we might just die and that will be it, well it is perhaps logical to think, what is my place in this crazy universe, which could make one insecure. Having faced death head on, I can assure you it is nothing to be scared of, strnagely calming and far to inviting.
  20. My advice, A night of beer, followed by takeaway - bowels open no problem the next day. Try not to fall down stairwells though. So it is less of and more
  21. http://www.encephalitis.info/ The above website is excellent for information for encephalitis. Not really relted to info on this board, although the swelling of the brain, the pressure it places and in turn the various funtions it disrupts could produce very similar symptons to Autism. As you will see from the website, this horrific condition, affects part of the brain, which they show in an a really good diagram. I believe it is quite common - comes in primary and secondary forms, appears to be related to a viral infection. We see something similar at work with forms of dementia - as the blood vessels become damaged and blood supply is cut from the brain - people's behaviour alters dramatically. http://www.encephalitis.info/Professionals...ialWorkers.html This link shows the expected level of support that families should receive, as well as listing some of the behavioural side effects
  22. Imagination is a very general term, What is seems that people with AS struggle with abstract thinking, which when considering other symptons such as taking things literarily and not understanding jokes makes sense. Abstract thinking (to use a modern term) is like thinking out of the box, a prime example here already is someone's reference to been glad that is not to do with how you are brought up. They have obviously took the theme of environment having an impact and took that to mean how you bring up children. When in fact it means something completely different, to say enviroment has an impact on a child's development does not have to relate to actual parenthood. You just need the thinking pattern to seperate the two. Although this is what I have read I have found with websites that they vary in info, and often there seems to eb a constant bending of the symptons. But logic to me suggests that if common symptons such taking things literarily, not understanding jokes, then the imagination required to understand these is lacking or hidden away. Obviously AS is not to with how you are brought up, it's something you are born with, but many things in a childs life or young adulthood can scar and produce symptons similar to AS or any number of other disorders. Although the above concept in tiself requires a certain degree of thinking, as do most things in life, which is why I guess a love or desire for routine is good. Becuase it does not require that outside the box thinking. Anyway my thoughts
  23. I would say many people with mild triats of anything, are more a result of environment than a condition (give me a better word) I don't consider basic shyness as as something wrong, it's just shy, someone who is more insular, likes their privacy, that is just the way some people are. I was painfully shy as a child, becuase I was made to feel worthless. As soon as I started college and discovered friends, people, I changed, I was and still am a private person but I found the confidence in me. What some people tend to do and unfortuantely you do see it here, is start to define a norm, an expectation of what people should be. Being shy, not fully understanding people, really does not mean anything wrong, does it. Just means you are different, crying at the strange times, that's just way we are. the forthcoming wife cries like a baby through Eastenders, rationally, broken down, is that natural? No, but that doe smean anything is wrong, of course not, we are just all different, we are all individual. When I read of those families here, who have their very existence disrupted, then yes, I know and I can see their must be a problem. My personality, as I disocvered when I sat in a class at 17 doing basic GCSE pyschology really did result from my upbring. To be blunt, treat a child like cr*p and it will grow up cr*p. I think the horrifc stories and tales on here show that a condition that is mild, any condition is not worth talking about. the poeple here fighting each day, know that it is serious and they need support. I am very long sighted, wear glasses, do I join a 'blind forum?' No becuase it is not that severe. I was born into a topsey turvey environment, so I am a curious mixture of nature/nurture.
  24. i would say from life experience, and this is my personal view only, certainly not the be all and end all that mild As, mild anything, is normally a combination of people being different and upbringing. Environment plays a huge part in life, being shy and finding company uncomfortble does not compare ot the invidual who feels as if their world is caving in and they cannot cope in company, to a point where it is painful. The child who spent their childhood taking second best, not being praised, basically never vlaued or encouraged to be confident, will most likely grow up with a certain mindset. Life could be difficult, becuase if it continues into adulthood, then the the world will seem difficult, they won't value themselves. Of course everyone is different and people react to different situations in different ways. The damage done by emotional abuse during childhood is rarely acknowledged. I agree with the above comment, if you self diagnose yourslef an dno one else notices these things, kind of gives you the answer. In a modern and often harsh society, resources need to be directed towards those who need it. I would class AS or any other condition purely as a serious one, I don't belive you can ever have a mild condition. That might seem bizarre and to some extent it makes things black and white which it is not. But you can't pass off differences in human beings, things we might not be good at as 'conditions'. Becuase those who do struggle, those who are affected directly or indirectly by any disorder deserve and need support. To simply lump in mild quirks of personality with a whole range of disorders does a diservice to those who need the support. Lastly, from what I have read and correct me if I am wrong, mild difficulties can be overcome. So it seem to me tomake sense to try this, becuase people who on the other end of the scale are not so fortunate. As a final note, tlaking of spectrums, I once had a colour blindness test, I scored around 99% and was told, no one is perfect, so taking the mild logic, I am mildly colour blind! Do I go round saying this, no, of course not becuase it is insignificant.
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