carrieq

I am so sorry, words just aren't enough. We will be watching Dr Who and I will be thinking of you and your family. So glad you have family support but remember to be kind to yourself too. Carrie

You booked a B&B and didn't take the caravan!!! Hope dh enjoyed his birthday Carrie

I read your last post and am horrified for you and your family. I know too well how schools close ranks when they are in the wrong, my son was held in a room against his will earlier this year. Send a copy of letter to your MP as well and ask school for all reports documenting the action taken as this will give you a fuller picture and if they decline to show you it may further boost your case. Carrie

Just happened to conicide with the programme that ds meds were changed yesterday as he has been coping really well with his new placement and today his behaviour reverted back to how he was previously. Possibly no link between effects of meds and behaviour but it just highlighted to me the fact that meds probably do play quite a big part in ds quality of life and if he doesn't have that window of opportunity to focus, achieve and raise his self esteem then taking him off meds and putting him into some kind of therapy may be doomed to failure. Like Caroline said it was food for thought. Carrie

Soooo jealous, well we would be if Keith had got the role!! My 2 were Keith mad, ds even wondered if Keith could be his daddy, didn't like to say that I am more than old enough to be Keith's mum!! Enjoy when the time comes Carrie

I hope she has a great time!! Carrie

Caroline, I thyink this sounds like a course I was put on by CAHMS and Inclusion Support. They demanded dh attend as other kids dads would be there. No other dads and you were lucky if the mums were there, one woman was totally out of it for the couple of times she came. I felt really patronised and resented being lumped together with these parents as it was so clear to see why their kids were causing problems and I don't see myself in that category. We watched videos which were set in the 1980's and asked really obvious questions about how the parents in the clips managed behaviour and what they could do better. Dh lasted a couple of weeks but the patronising stickers or sweeties made him unable to leave work!! I hated it as well, although one mum really rose to the incentive which was quite touching. Any questions that couldn't be answered were refered back to the book which we all had a copy of. I can't remember the name and don't know where it is as what it said was such common sense and didn't take into account a child who doesn't have control over what they are doing. Like you I went through the motions for 10 weeks so it couldn't be said I didn't give it a go but I hated being made to feel ineffectual by people who had no understanding of mine or my son's needs and weren't able to look outside what the text said to help with a child outwith the norms. I feel for you having to do it because I hated it!! Carrie

Glad you had a good time!! Once you have been to one there is very little difference with the others which is why we take ds. They usually have French details but we have noticed English becoming much more common over the last few years. We have booked for Whinfell at the beginning of Jan as they had 30% off and we are being really brave and taking ds to Egypt at the end of June, may regret this one but we have months to prepare him!! Where are you heading to next?? Carrie

It is such a horrid feeling as a mum seeing our kids so distressed about doing something so everyday and an activity undertaken by all kids. I remember how I felt last term dropping my ds off to what was effectively a lion's den due to the fact he wasn't understood. He displayed his anxiety through aggression but it amounts to the same an outward reaction to inner turmoil. I hope you get it sorted for your son. At least today may highlight your son's state of mind to SENCO and others in school. You could maybe contact his Ed Psch and ask for advice on what to do when this happens and this would also mean they were aware of your son's state of mind as the school may not pass on details of what happened today. Hope you are feeling a bit better, it's heartbreaking, your instinct is just to protect them and keep them close but you know that isn't the answer. Carrie

DS has also made these kind of threats since he was about 5 yrs. He has made 2 quite serious attempts, both at his old school, one on a viewing platform by a road bridge and the other with a plastic bag. We got an emergency appointments after both and were told he was not in a suicidal state but this would probably carry on throughout his life and as such would need careful watching. He has now moved school and so far nothing like this has happened yet but he is in a very small class so has the care he needs. He regularly when quite calm says dh hates him and would like him to be dead and that he wants to be dead. As has been said, on the surface we brush over this and don't draw attention to it but under the surface it breaks my heart and scares me to death. Carrie

Ds has higher rate for mobility and we got a leaflet about exemption when he got the new rate. Hadn't heard of it before. Carrie

Thank you Kate!! Carrie

Has anyone applied for this? I have the form back but can't work out if I need to fill a bit of the form out and sent to away before using it. Road tax is due at the end of next month. Also can I use to form online or do I have to take it to the Post Office to get exemption? Thank you Carrie

I am sitting here fuming at MIL again. We have offered so many times for her to come and visit but she keeps making up excuses. Ds is 8 yrs and she has probably seen him 4 times, 3 of those occasions down to us going to her and the other one because she was attending a conference. She visits dh brother at least twice a year, he lives in Canada, we live in Edinburgh and she is in Kent. Having met him on so few occasions she has already dismissed all of his dx, she is a Health Psychologist, and this keeps swaying dh opinion of ds. We have booked for Center Parcs in early Jan and decided to ask dh sister and his parents along as we thought it would be a good holiday where they could spend as much or as little time with us. Anyway another knock back, she doesn't really want to go as there may be too much walking. We offered to book her the flats right beside the centre. Dh asked what she was doing for Christmas and she said BIL and new baby were coming to stay with her so there would be no room. Dh said we would be happy to stay in a hotel and her reply was that would be difficult for Christmas day as there would be too many people. During the course of this year I have invited her up for half term in Feb, Easter, not summer as she has her month in Canada, invited her for youngest dd birthday party as the last time she saw her dd was 6 days old, birth co-incided with conference. Dh was actually quite hurt, though hasn't admitted it. I would be too if it was my mum. I am really angry with her and oldest dd thinks its BIL baby that is stopping her coming but she has never shown any interest in any of us. I can't imagine treating my son and his family, if he has one, in this way. If I couldn't visit I would re-arrange but she is making NO effort. I am encouraging dh to keep making the first move but this must be humiliating for him especially as my family are the complete opposite and step in to help whenever they are needed and go out of their way to see their grandchildren. I keep thinking it is her loss, but in a way it is also my childrens' loss as they don't have a grandparent on dh side. I am very angry with her just now. Sorry for rant just needed to spill it out as I can't let dh know how I am feeling as his mum can do no wrong in his eyes. Carrie

You will love it!! I can't play any consoles as I just don't get them but the Wii is great. We have family bowling nights, quite sad really but great fun!! Carrie

Hope you are all ok Carrie

Hopefully dd is going through a phase but she is really worrying me as what she is doing is a more extreme version of ds. As soon as you take your eyes off her for even a few minutes she is taking something apart or destroying something. I have just been trying to clean paint off a carpet, a couple of days ago she poured water all over the bathroom. She has always pulled things out of cupboards and is constantly on the go. She doesn't sit still, climbs on anything and everything. Nursery laugh it off as being just her, she has put herself into the toy washing machine, dangled on coatpegs, walked along raidiators and is the only 2 year old to attempt the firemans pole on their outside play equipment. I have till now put it down to being the youngest and having a very active brother but now I am becoming worried. We were out at the weekend with other families who had girls the same age and she was so much more on the go, squirmy and impulsive. In some ways she is very different to her brother as she has a huge vocabulary and an amazing imagination but the ways in which they are similar scare me. I don't think she has ASD but I am a bit worried about the ADHD side of things as she is displaying the behaviour in more than one setting. Between the two of them I am worn to a frazzle!! Any words of advice gratefully received!! Carrie

Ds was awarded exceptional funding in Jan this year. It was quite a battle to get the Head to agree to put him forward as she has to put the case before the cluster which consists of other Heads and she didn't want to look silly!!! We are in Scotland so system may be different, our authority is one of only a few that operates exceptional funding system. Head had to gather evidence and fill out form to demonstrate ds met criteria which consisted of complex learning needs arising from combination of profound sensory, cognitive, communication impairment, physical disability, challenging or disturbed behaviour; a specialist facility required; curriculum radically different; enhanced level of teacher support/aide contact as consequence of health and safety or likelihood of harm to self or others; require highly specialised resources, facilities or technology which is not ordinarily available for use on a continuous basis. Head filled out a form citing evidence to back up at least 2 of the criteria and this was taken to the panel. As a result of being awarded the funding he moved in August to a specialist base on an assessment placement but the intervening time didn't see any difference to support, I think school were de-mob happy that he would be away. Hope this helps! Carrie

Sorry, I don't have any advice but I just think it is so hit and miss as to what level people are awarded. I know there is an element of each case being unique but surely diagnosis should count towards something. I'm not sure what you can do, maybe NAS would be able to advise you. There just seems to be so much variation between what we are awarded or not awarded and it shouldn't be so. Carrie

Thank you all but it does seem to be that freedom of information is not quite as free as you are led to believe. If someone else is named in a document you need their say so to have it released and the teachers in question are unwilling to even have their names scored out. This is what puzzles me, why would you object if you had followed policy and behaved in a professional manner? I am instructing a lawyer to act on my behalf as it does seem to be a bit of a minefield and as with most things you need to know how to work the system. Carrie

Months ago I posted about ds being held in a room against his will. Quick update and rant i'm afraid. Police have dropped case as rejected by Sherriff due to not proven with regards evidence. It seems that teachers are standing united and saying opposite to ds and After School Club girl. Police took statements from school and went through policies. I think the picture has been drawn of ds being completely out of control so he was help against his will for his own safety. I personally don't believe this is the case. At the time I asked for access to the incident report and was refused by the local authority. I went through ICO and their backlog is huge, another 2 months to wait before it will be investigated. I appealled to the Ed Auth better nature and received a letter today saying they will not reconsider and I am still denied access. I phoned the data controller and she said she couldn't comment as she hasn't seen the report which is quite uncommon and access is only restrices when details are of highly sensitive nature but she will look into it for me with education and legal dept. The upshot seems to be that if someone named in a document may be affected by what is written the other person named cannot get access, according to this woman. I am so perplexed for a number of reasons; ds is named in report but he is the only person who hasn't seen it and verified it as accurate representation of events; I have been given a number of incident forms that name other people in the past why is this one so different, my only thought is something is wrong that shows an employee of the authority in a negative light which concerns me further. As far as I am aware no one has been disiplined over this, it should have resulted in an immediate suspension while it was investigated, so is the council backtrakking to avoid being hauled over the coals for not ensuring procedure is followed. I have been trying to get hold of a lawyer through an educational legal centre and am in the process of informing my MSP of the situation but I still have a son who has nightmares about school, dissolves when he is challenged by teaching staff and ultimately hates school and no one seems bothered about this. I could just scream!!!!! Sorry for length of post just need to offload and am looking for any other avenues I could explore or advice. Carrie

Was just about to mention this, you beat me to it!! Heading out to a meeting at ds school so have sky + it!! Carrie

I was thinking about that one too, should we all carry folded newspapers and wear a red carnation!!! We could all txt you Elaine when we arrive. I am hoping the swimming gala doesn't go on too long as I am looking forward to putting faces to names! Carrie

Looking forward to meeting you all tomorrow!! Carrie

Forgot to say, I think they only take bookings for tables of 10 or more so a little white lie may be called for!! Carrie