av16

Don't tempt me!!

Hi Karen Nice to 'see' you on here again! <'> I think it is a very bad sign of what is to come. I have arranged for the school parent support adviser to meet with the parents to try and explain what's happening and she is going to direct them to the Parent's advice Centre; I've already spoken to them and explained. The SEN section said we could support parents with a request to reconsider so I've drafted a letter on their behalf. Athena - thanks for the message but I'm not a fab senco just concerned that things should be done fairly and children get what they need, especially having been on the other side of the fence! I have to say the Green paper looks like a lot of pie in the sky, with the cuts that are happening there'll be no-one left to assess or provide any service!

Just wanted to share this with you, I hope it's not a sign of things to come. I'm a senco and applied for stat assessment for a child in yr 4, she doesn't have ASD but general learning delay and severe speech & language difficulties - on p levels. Today a note in lieu arrived on my desk, her parents both have learning disabilities and don't speak English so they won't be appealing without lots of encouragement. How can this happen? :wallbash: I'm sure she will need a special school placement for secondary. I hope that I can help with an appeal and get her a statement.

I've just moved to a new area, my previous MP had been very supportive of NAS campaigns and I was a bit cynical on Monday when I used the link as our new MP is of another 'persuasion'. Unbelievably I arrived home today to find a letter from the House of Commons from my MP saying he is investigating and will get back to me! I know it doesn't mean he will do anything but he has taken the time to respond . (I don't think it will change my mind about his party though! )

My eldest DD has been diagnosed with hypermobility after suffering with a painful hip for over a year, we've always known she was very flexible as is my other DD though both don't have ASD. My DS who has ASD doesn't have hypermobility but I think that there must be some genetic component. I find it all very interesting and hope that research in the future works out these links. My DD is getting by with physiotherapy but as she's at uni a long way from home it's been difficult to have regular treatment. Her flexibility has helped with her ballet though, she's had to have a year off but she's back dancing now so she's happy .

So sorry <'> . I hope that things will turn out to be ok for you all. Stay strong <'>

It's really great to read about your daughter - well done to her, on several levels. It also gives those of us with younger 'students' hope for their futures. Brilliant news! :thumbs:

Good - well done

Thanks for your advice . The chances are that he may go to a local college or sixth form so hopefully the transport issue may be a fairly short time scale - it does depend on whether he can be left on his own or if I change my job. I'll let you know how it goes!

Thanks Sally44 - I will check IPSEA now.

We are due to move in less than 2 weeks, DS is in yr9 and about to choose GCSE options. (Didn't think he would be in a position to do this a few years ago ) I have let the sen dept in the new LA know and have received a reply. DS goes to a mainstream secondary and he wants to remain there (has a group of friends, staff have more understanding of him), we also want him to remain. The move means there will be a commute but he will travel with me and DH - we work fairly close to his school. The new sen rep said that senior officers of LA may not be happy about the distance to school, I have explained that he will travel with us also he can't be left on his own at home - gets very anxious and if he went to a local school he would return to an empty house for at least 4 days a week. I would also worry about him going to school on his own, especially a new unfamiliar one. I think that they are worried about costs - we would be willing to pay for his train fare but haven't said that yet. I know Justine 1 has had a lot of troubles with her move; getting this far has been really stressful so I'm hoping the school bit will be ok - any ideas if the new LA doesn't see our point of view? DS has a statement (band d) and things are going reasonably well at school - I think he would go to pieces if he moved now.

I'm very interested in this, I bet a high proportion of these children have some sort of dyslexia and even though they may have supportive parents and try hard in school they get stuck as soon as reading gets beyond basic KS1 texts. I'm trying to get the teachers where I work to realise that children like this need a different type of teaching. Most teachers know very little about dyslexia and just keep re-teaching the same thing in the hope it will 'go in' eventually. I felt quite pleased last week as the EP identified 2 pupils in yr 2 with dyslexia type difficulties, in the past this has only happened towards the end of yr 5/6. It's an odd thing to feel pleased about but it has always bothered me - pupils leaving for secondary school and not being able to read. I hope these 2 pupils can get to the end of KS2 and learn to read and enjoy reading but of course identifying them is only the start.

Hi, my son had a similar problem when he started mainstream secondary (nowhere near 11 though!)and as previous posters have said the LSAs are attached to departments. It just didn't work for my DS as he had trouble recognising them. He got into a very bad way and I spoke to the school (many times!) and with the support of CAMHS and the outreach support teacher I got the school to allocate no more than 2 LSAs to him. He is now in yr 9 and I can't say things are perfect but he is a lot happier and has a good relationship with the main LSA. A senior member of staff did say to me though 'are you really expecting us to change the way the whole school does things?'; I said 'yes because it is a reasonable adjustment' but in a very calm reasonable way . Good luck with this as it is often the key in getting a more positive experience at school. If you have any other professionals who can support you, try to get them on board too.

Happy Christmas everyone!

Just a little update, I emailed the school with my concerns and queried whether the teacher had been trained/prepared for DS. Had a very positive call back from senior member of staff who said with hindsight they wouldn't have excluded or at least not for 2 days. They were prepared for him to go back into class earlier but I declined this for him as he would have been really confused. He doesn't know about this as I want him to realise he can't speak to people that way - the school say they will now try to help him with this. I feel better that I spoke to them and that they will help us in getting him to moderate his language

My DS 13 with AS has just been told today he has an internal exclusion for 2 days from tomorrow - he has a letter which I am amazed he didn't lose; no contact with me or his dad direct. I'm wondering if it is appropriate for the incident, I want to be fair and I have supported the school with the detentions etc. Any thoughts whatever you think would be helpful. He started a new DT unit 2 weeks ago - new teacher; obviously didn't go well as he was given a 30min on the same day- he didn't go. The teacher emailed and said he would have to do an hour on last Friday. He also hadn't done some homework - I told her he would and would give it in on Thurs. He did it the same day and I made a big point of putting it in his bag and reminding him to hand it in or there'd be another detention. Last Thursday was parents evening, I was taken aside by the DH and told DS had called DT teacher a b**tch, I was shocked and apologised. They showed me his account: he'd been to a memorial service for a pupil who had died then arrived late to DT lesson. Immediately he tried to hand in his hwork, teacher ignored him, he said again'here's my hwork' teacher told him to go and sit down (in a way DS felt was rude). He told her he thought she was rude, she said (according to DS) 'that's rich coming from you'. He said he was very angry by then and stormed out saying 'why do you have to be such a b****?' Now I do not agree with the use of bad language but he does use terrible language when he's upset so what he said could be considered to be relatively mild (for him and a big step forward). I just think that had the teacher have said please sit down I will get your hwork in a moment then the whole thing may not have happened. He did the detention the next day and he apologised to the teacher. He has an internal exclusion for 2 days; what do you think? I think it's a bit harsh but am I being soft?

That's great news, really nice to see something so positive :thumbs:

I would agree with both Westie and Baddad, my DS was a runner and I insisted that he held my finger or I would hold his wrist - which he didn't like. He's now 13 and is ok when he's calm but if we're out and he's upset I will still grab his wrist because he still runs. This now very rare compared to constant when he was younger. I tried the explaining about being injured/killed etc and how upset we would all be but it seemed to have little effect at the time. I think it was a gradual process and seeing things on television- those horrible public safety films made him realise what it was all about. Good luck with this because it can be so stressful <'>

"Hi. I have plenty of well researched ideas on what not to do...... 1.Do nothing but ignore the information you have because you do not understand it and anyway you don't need to be told how to teach.The child looks fine to you and just needs more discipline. 2.What are sensory issues......and anyway you have a lesson plan for everyone. 3.Don't plan any alternatives to group work because he needs to behave better.He works alone fine and is very bright so what is the problem. 4.Ensure that when the pupil starts a debate that you ensure he knows who is the teacher.Ensure you have the parents Email address so as to complain to them about their child's behaviour at the first available oppurtunity.Discuss in the staff room in great depth what a pain he is.Be sure to make assumptions about the parents but forgett that the pupil has a sibbling who is extremely well behaved. Karen. " I read this and thought it was me who'd written it! I wish there were more teachers like RainbowsButterflies who are actually bothered enough to want to find out more so I think you'll do a really brilliant job. Just don't send emails to parents saying that you've decided their child is just'plain naughty' I would see if the SENCO knows whether the family are likely to appreciate a friendly phone call/chat /email so you could find out more information. In my experience most parents would appreciate this and usually can't wait to pass on really useful information. In fact if more teachers were like you they would know more about the children in their care and probably everyone would be happier. Good luck, I'm sure you'll do well; you sound like a breath of fresh air!

He sounds very similar to my DS -he was initially assessed at 6 for ADHD but was fine at school so was referred for ASD assessment. Was diagnosed AS at 8. He was ok at school - a few odd things, he used to get very upset if he couldn't do something and would then 'switch off' and refused to do anything but most of the time (as he was quite bright) he was ok. The problems came when he moved into the juniors. One thing to think about for your DS is the change from Reception- very play based probably, to the more structured day in yr 1. This may be why he is bringing home his stress and acting up at home. He may be finding life a lot more complicated at school and working so hard to fit in, do what's right etc. that when he gets home he lets it all out. I did ask my son recently if he could remember how he was and if he knew why, he said he always felt he didn't know what was going on. Just some thoughts for you. Also to let you know that although things can sometimes still be difficult life has improved Take care as it can be exhausting <'>

Can I suggest that the school purchases this book http://www.amazon.co.uk/Selective-Resource-Speechmark-practical-sourcebook/dp/0863882803- if they won't and you can afford it I suggest you try and get it. The book provides lots of useful information for parents and teachers and some of the strategies I have seen used to great effect. Maggie Johnson one of the authors is well known for working with children with selective mutism - there was a tv programme on it earlier on this year and her strategies were shown. The school should also refer her to the ed psych and ideally the SLT should work with you and the ed psych to implement the strategies. I have seen this work for 2 children in 2 schools so there is hope! <'> Selective mutism is a side effect usually of anxiety which is of course often seen with people who have autism. A referral to CAMHS could also help as they can help provide the child with strategies to manage anxiety. If you want more info pm me as this is an area that I know schools have to address as if they don't the chances are the child won't 'grow out of it' (as I have been told many times by people who should know better!). Good luck

It seems the difference between private and LA is not what's seen/done but the length of time taken. The EP I work with is very thorough and it takes her several visits over 2 terms to complete an assessment. Of course different LAs will have different ways of working. I did try to 'hurry' her along once but she said that she needed to be thorough as her opinion could have a profound effect on people's lives. I would say a day would be just about right.

Hi, DS now in yr 9 has started getting detentions again. Reasons given are disruptive behaviour and I know this needs to be addressed but.. one teacher has said she's given him several short detentions, it hasn't worked so she's giving him more. I want him to understand the effect of his disruptive behaviour but I know that detentions will probably have little effect. The school doesn't have anything else to offer in getting him to modify his behaviour. I want to go in and discuss it with the teacher. Have you got any ideas about what I could suggest other than detention ? Thanks

I would like to Karen's comments, my colleagues who listened to you were so impressed with the way you have dealt with the difficulties you have faced and it's true to say you were inspirational. I know they went back to school and viewed their pupils with ASD in a slightly different way, realising that these children have great potential and their futures can be improved using knowledge from your experiences. As a parent you have given me hope that my son can continue his education further than we dared to hope for a few years ago. You seem like you are very busy and it's probably hard for you devote as much time as you would like to everything. I would imagine you frequently feel exhausted; anyone would but I think you need to make sure you take care of yourself. In my life there have been times when I've felt overwhelmed with things I have taken on and I've learned to stop and prioritise and drop things (sometimes temporarily) to give me a bit more space. When I've made these decisions I've felt so much better and started to enjoy life a bit more. I have to say though that your presentation was so good I would be sad if you couldn't do more! Don't forget either this can be a tricky time to feel upbeat, nights drawing in,weather deteriorating and this term always seems the longest. I really hope things improve for you, your contributions are so valuable. <'> >< Take care

Could you start a 'free school' Karen?