jb1964

Hi Jeanne, My daughter hits her head a lot but it's not like your Glen - she is usually very distressed and frustrated and she punches her head and face with extreme force - whereas Glen is quite calm. My daughter also looks out sideways when she's anxious/confused or upset. I also noticed his reactions are extremely precise - even down to the way he seems to rub down his nose after each time as if it is a way of dealing with some sensation - I wondered about the swallowing as he is eating an extremely large amount with each swallow - my daughter has problems with her swallowing - the feeling and texture of food etc - perhaps it could be connected i.e. the feeling of when he swallows causes his reaction to cope with that feeling. Take care, Jb x

So glad you had a great time Tally - hope it becomes a regular thing for you. Take care, Jb x

Hi and welcome, I notice you mention your son is nearly 10 - for us from that age onwards has been the most difficult (my daughter is 16) - the realisation of being different - plus the transition/anticipation of moving from primary to comprehensive was massive and she didn't cope at all. Also her aggression and frustration increases with her anxieties (add hormones/puberty on top and it's a volcano). Take care, Jb

I'm with Justine on what you mean by lying - my daughter may misinterpret things and give the wrong answer because she thinks I mean something else or she believes something happened because that is how it made her feel (if you know what I mean) - but she has never deliberately lied - for her this would be against the rules (so to speak). Take care, Jb

Hi Pingu, Sorry don't have any advice but just wanted to say hi. Take care, Jb x

I think what you've said hits the nail on the head. My daughter was diagnosed ASD at 12yrs - we've recently found out she has a genetic alteration which they believe is the reason behind her ASD and other problems. If she had been diagnosed with the gene mutation earlier I think all her symptoms would have been just put under the gene umbrella - but because there are so many gene alterations that they're only really just learning about the ASD symptoms are noted first before looking into any other possible reason. Take care, Jb x

Sorry can't offer any advice - I think my daughter would do pretty much what Lisa has said - she changes from head banging to punching her face/head or both. Hope he calms down soon. Take care, Jb x

Hi, Just wanted to add that my daughter has always preferred boys to girls - and has struggled to maintain any sort of relationship with a girl - since primary she would always relate more to boys - she preferred their way of thinking, their games etc (the quieter boys not the energetic sporty type) - she found girls generally more 'scary' in every possible way. As she got older this continued and comp. was a nightmare - she particularly hated their make up (especially around the eyes) and hairstyles. Take care, Jb x

Hi Sally, Not quite sure what you mean about the class therapy side - but my daughter had a reduced curriculum in maintstream comp. - on the advice of the CAMHS consultant she was excluded from PE, Music, and also had the option of not taking Welsh/German - all due to her anxieties so it must be available for certain reasons. Take care, Jb. x

Hi Lynne, My daughter has always suffered with bouts of aggressive behaviour (she's 16 now) and very little sleep - more often than not this has been linked into her level of anxieties - the more anxious she is the more she can't cope, can sleep and then becomes frustrated and gets angry or aggressive. Her anxiety levels rise with changes in routine but become extremely high with big new changes, ie. going to nursery, infants (change in teacher or pupils), juniors, comp etc (also someone being ill, someone dying, being made redundant, holidays and time off school - these have all affected her big-time). Is there anything different in his life at the moment that could be causing his anxieties to increase. Take care, Jb x

Hi, Yes my daughter suffered from chronic constipation since birth - on milk free diet until she was about 5/6yrs old. Recently been told problem is related to a gastric motility disorder which is basically a slow/delayed emptying stomach resulting in bouts of severe constipation, pain and nausea/vomiting. Take care, jb

Hi Paula, So pleased for you and your son. I can remember when I first joined the forum I read a lot of your posts as my daughter was around the same age - you must feel on top of the world - hoping things keep on improving and he does well next year with his exams. Take care, Jb x

Hi Gems, I have a 6yr old daughter (NT) - who suffers extreme itching (especially at bedtime) for periods at a time (worse behind her knees, groin, back and neck). Sometimes it has been really bad and she breaks her skin in various places and has very little sleep and therefore continually exhausted. We've had various creams prescribed by the GP - many made it much worse - we went through everything from washing powder, elastic on underwear and eventually realised it's either when she became anxious/stressed - mostly when she started nursery, started school or worried about something in school etc or when she was unwell - GP has now said they think it's eczema as this normally is worse at night and also when stressed etc. Take care, Jb

Hi Justine, Thinking of you - hope you see your GP - just print off your post and take it along if you find it difficult to talk at first. I do know what you mean though - I'm extremely thankful that I have my hubby at my side and I find it difficult to cope sometimes - I can't imagine how you cope on your own. Please take care, chin up, Jb x

Many thanks for your reply Szxmum. We've just pulled her out from College (she started in Sept) and we're hoping that some time out may help the situation as the SEN there thought she really wasn't coping well. Although the CPN didn't really help there either as she pressed my daughter on what was she going to do now instead? Hi Smiley - thank you so much for sharing your experience - I hope you are feeling ok and that you have help with your anxieties and depression. I can't recall exactly when it started happening but it was an issue when she was going through the diagnosis process (when she was 11yrs old just after starting comp) - she is on medication at the moment Fluoxetine but I think they may start to wean her off this when we see the consult. next week. She normally uses her nails (on her face and arms) but did at one time use scissors and she also hits her head into various things - I do worry she will move onto something else. She says it makes her feel better that it eases the pain in her head. She has mentioned suicide often and also said that she's rubbish at self harming or trying to commit suicide because she can't get it right. Thank you again for your replies, it is much appreciated. Take care, Jb x

Hi D, Many thanks for your post - I hope your partner also manages to overcome this. Take care, Jb x

Thank you lisac for your post - it is difficult to not feel guilty but I'm trying to convince myself that there are others who've been in the same/similar situations - the CPN made it sound so easy. Many thanks Kathyrn for that link info - I've just gone on the site and it is full of information - some of which I'm hoping I can get my daughter to read. Thanks Mumble for your post - will talk to my daughter about trying this as I think it may help - I can remember once her doing a self image for something in school and it was a very sad picture but it definitely showed how she felt. Hi Justine - my daughter has also tried to explain to me that when she does this to herself it takes the pain from her head and makes her feel better. Thank you all again for your posts - it is hard to keep thinking positive and that we'll get through this - I realise now that I kind of naively hoped CAMHS were going to come up with a miracle strategy/therapy to help. Take care, Jb x

Thank you Caroline - I will look up the contact info you gave. I just feel so utterly useless and helpless. I've known for quite some time that she's using it as a coping strategy I just didn't realise I was such a cr*p mum in allowing it - and feel such a failure because I don't know how to stop it and make her happy. Take care and hope your son finds a different way to cope soon. Jb x

Sorry - if someone can move this to another board for me (help and advice) posted in education by mistake. Apologies again, Jb x

Hi, My daughter was referred to CAMHS last Nov following depression, massive anxieties and panic attacks which also resulted in aggression. The anxieties were all based around her exams/final year and she was supposed to receive therapy to help her overcome these in a block before the run up to her exams. Unfortunately the CPN cancelled three fortnightly appt’s in a row which meant she wasn’t actually seen in the six week period before her exams and they then made the next appt. on the morning of one of her exams – which we subsequently cancelled as the OT didn’t think it was a good idea as my daughter was getting extremely upset at the thought of it. Following from that the psych. started her on anti-depressants and arranged for a different CPN to see her – who has seen my daughter twice including yesterday at home. Neither the psych. or the new CPN have seen the ‘real’ side to my daughter – they never manage to engage her in a conversation where she will open up (the psych. is not the one who diagnosed her) – she is only ever defensive and argumentative towards them – they have not seen the sad, lonely girl who is suffering and begging us to help her to stop hurting herself/others. During the CPN’s visit yesterday she informed us that our daughters self harming and aggression is because we have allowed her to use this as a coping strategy for when she gets frustrated or angry and that we need to find an incentive and other strategies for her to use – she also told my daughter that her behaviour was of a child much younger than her age and she was using emotional blackmail against us. We told her that self harming and aggression have always been issues for my daughter and we don’t know how to help her and she told us to use minimal words, walk away and disengage from her when she starts any of this behaviour and put a sign on the door saying I will speak to you in 5mins when you’ve calmed down – she also suggested seeing how other parents cope for tips…….don’t know why I didn’t think to try any of that already!! As she was leaving she told us to contact the NAS and that she’ll speak to the psych. tomorrow – we have an appointment with her next week. I have gone on the NAS site this morning for help but don’t really know where to start – any interventions or therapy just give an outline – most being for young children and the courses are usually not close to us – I can’t seem to think straight to even know what I’m supposed to do. I’ve also followed every topic on this site regarding self harm and aggression but not come across a miracle strategy yet – if someone knows this can they please, please post their tip as I cannot live with this terrible guilt I now feel from letting my daughter down and I don’t know how to help her. Take care, Jb

Hi Peachie, Sorry that I can't help but just wanted to say thinking of you. Mumble - what you wrote about perception is perfect in describing how my daughter see things so differently to me. Take care, Jb

Hi Tally, I'm going to try and watch it in the morning before she get's up so that I'm prepared - hubbie's just told me there was some comment along the lines of 'perhaps he has aspergers' and the other one said something like 'no he's just a cocky tw*t' or something very similar. Take care, Jb x

Hi - anyone watching Benidorm ? - my hubbie's watching it and just quickly mentioned something about Aspergers being mentioned not very nicely and worried as he's taping it for my daughter - but obviously I don't know exactly what was said. Take care, Jb x

Hi Pyramyd, I'm sorry that you've taken anything that was said offensively. In reading your post I never once thought that you were a liar or stupid. I think that it's difficult for anyone to say you have Aspergers until you've seen someone who understands Aspergers and can diagnose your difficulties appropriately - I thought that your referral was a good starting point. Once again I apologise if anything I've said has upset you and hope you will return to the site to read this. Take care, Jb

I've got one of those - it's a little box with 3 scart inputs and switches to flick over. Take care, Jb