wilson

Hello, Bad mothers? You both sound like saints. I only have two and there are times when they drive me to distraction. However, it is those special moments, like today when the little one told me he loved me more than the world and all of space, that I cling on to and remember.

Hello, Thank you. Your replies show just how ambiguous terminology can be.

Hello, For some considerable time I have been convinced that my son has Moderate Learning Difficulties as well as Asperger Syndrome. Now, the term has been used officially. My problem is that my (perhaps misinformed) stereotype of people with Asperger Syndrome being of average or above average 'intelligence' (I hate using that word!) has being challenged. Is there a stronger correlation between Aspeger Syndrome and other, more global, learning difficulties than I assumed, or is H an exception to the rule? Thanks

Hi, It is a shocking story, and all the more painful if we remember that not so very long ago people with learning disabilities in this country were treated just as cruelly. Thank heavens we and our children are here and now.

Hello, My husband almost certainly is on the spectrum. Unfortunately, years of misunderstanding and negative life experiences have left him with cripplingly low self esteem. Perhaps a formal diagnosis would help him make sense of some aspects of his life.

Hello, This is just a quick question. Is there a link between ASDs and other disorders such as AD(H)D, OCD? Thanks

Hi, care may mean concern, consideration, genuine feeling or to look after, nurture, provide support. Sometimes the meanings become clearer when we think of 'to care for' or 'to care about'.

Hello, H is fascinated by animals, so the countryside wins hands down with him. However, his younger brother seems to prefer the town. We are fortunate enough to live in a small town, between two large cities, with weekly access to my Dad's farm. So I suppose we've got the best of both worlds.

Hello and welcome to the forum, My husband (undiagnosed AS) retired from his job over ten years ago on the grounds of mental ill health and for two or three years he received Incapacity Benefit. However, he was reassessed and the Benefit was stopped. We appealed, but lost the appeal. At that time, there appeared to be a government drive to try to reduce the number of people claiming Incapacity Benefit by targeting those with chronic mental illness. He is unable to work, but has his own very part time business and cares for our children whilst I am at work. He has expressed feelings very similar to yours. Please see your GP and tell him/her how you feel.

Hi, I have contacted our closest support group, although I will not be able to attend many meetings due to work committments. thanks for the information.

Hello, I am really sorry about what has happened to you, but so glad that no-one was hurt.

Hi, Homework is an issue in our house for both our AS elder son and his NT (but struggling) brother. To be honest, I am very uncomfortable with some aspects of the education system in this country. I feel that too much pressure is put on children to perform, far too early and homework, if not managed properly, can be a negative pressure (as Bard and Elun have pointed out) on children with Special Needs. Furthermore, homework can accentuate the difference between disadvantaged children and their more comfortable peers. That said, we have to operate within the system as it stands. Often my children will not do the required reading and number work, so we make use of the embedded nature of these skills. In our house any reading is good, and any opportunity for counting and taking away is used fully. Finally, I am in no way criticising schools or teaching. I am more than aware that we have some wonderful and dedicated teachers. It is just that, in our house, learning takes place despite homework not because of it.

Hello, Sara and Shona I have so much empathy with you. My partner has Asperger Syndrome and so does my eight year old son. Until three years ago my partner received Incapacity Benefit for depression. Because he was still unable to work (largely due to his difficulties in social settings) I supported him. He now receices DLA, Carer's Allowance, Family Credit, Child Benefit etc. In a nutshell, he is extremely difficult to live and perhaps not the best person to be in charge of our sons. So, if he left us, or if we divorced (and I have considered this seriously), I would make sure that the boys came with me, even if it meant giving up work, moving and so on. I am sorry if I have gatecrashed this thread, but sometimes my husband is the greatest challenge.

Hello OCG I can remember the shock that I felt when I first read of your situation, and I remember the unaminous support you got from people on this forum. This forum is made up of people who have first hand and expert experience of ASDs. You still have that support. Your son wants to stay with you; you want him to stay; you have done nothing wrong. In my opinion, it is shameful that your Local Authority is acting this way. Contact your local paper and give them your story.

Mumble, You are a truly remarkable human being. You have your supervisor's full support, and you have so much determination. One day, I am sure, we will see you posting here as Dr. Mumble.

Thank you Pearl for the kind message. Both my boys returned to school on Monday. I have a feeling Year 4 is going to be hard for H. The difference between H and his peers is becoming more pronounced and the teachers seem to be a little firmer/harder with him. H's little brother is trying to catch up with his classmates (most of whom seem to be mini Einsteins, from what their parents say) . He has a few problems with confidence and behaviour. So, I am concentrating upon making home a safe place for them. There is far too much pressure on children to perform, whether they have special needs or not.

Thanks Chris, and good luck at the University of Sheffield.

Hello, H picks his nose. Yuk! It's a habit we hope he will grow out of, but as a result he suffers from frequent nose bleeds. We have some spray to help the picked bits heal up.

Hello, My son is 8. We have rules and the hitting and touching are firmly on the 'don't do' list. However, we may need to run through the rule book again. Thanks for the advice.

Hello, My son's behaviour seems to be getting worse and I do not know whether this is to do with his ASD, his age or the holidays. He has started to touch me and his brother inappropriately, he flies into rages and hits me and his little brother and he seems to have become more deeply focused on his obsessions, sometimes to the extent that it is no longer possible to have a 'normal' conversation with him. Could his AS be getting 'worse' or should I be looking for other factors that might have caused this change in behaviour? (I apologise for using the term 'worse' as it implies AS is something bad. I just couldn't think of another word).

Hello, Perhaps 'lack of flexibility of thought' more accurately describes ASD behaviour. H can make up stories, but they contain the same characters and have very similar plots. H will also play with his younger brother, but he tends to follow his brother's instruction. H lines up his toy cars and moves them off in sequence; his little brother plays garages, races, car salemen and crashes. As far as imagining the future goes, H worries a lot about imploding suns and wants to be a builder. I am not sure about intelligence and AS. I always assumed that Asperger Syndrome could affect anyone irrespective of IQ.

Hello, H has a diagnosis of AS is approximately 2 years behind his peers in core school subjects and receives small group and one to one tuition. However, he does not have a statement and the school are reluctant to support us in our application for one because he is making progress and they feel that H may become dependent on a particular assigned worker. H remains on school action plus and we are monitoring the situation carefully. He has made significant progress in his reading and spelling, but the two year gap is worrying and does not seem to be closing. I strongly suspect the reluctance to statement is based on funding.

Hello Tagginalong, I am certainly not suggesting that this is the case with your son, but both our sons have problems with violent outbursts largely as a result of learned behaviour. Their father regularly lashes out at walls and throws/breaks things when he is angry or frustrated (not to mention the language!). I think the advice already given is excellent. Make sure your son understands that the behaviour is not acceptable ( you can see why this is a bit problematic in our house), encourage your son to talk about anything that may be bothering him. Lock away those knives. Finally, remain loving and supportive.

Hello, I have taken the children to the park quite often through the holidays, but I am finding the situation increasingly stressful. H is 8 and is quite a passive and sociable child, but his behaviour can be a little 'strange' to others. He often shouts out his pet phrases and runs around making loud noises like a fog horn. However, some of the children H's own age or older have started to pick on him and fight him. I intervene at present, but I can see the situation getting worse as H (and his peers) become older. How can I help H cope with bullies?

Hi, I have tried to find the triggers for H's violent behaviour (which is, thankfully, not frequent). They are: frustration at not being able to do something, especially something his little brother can do; confusion/fear, for example if I forget to tell him that we are moving on to another piece of equipment in the park (even if he has seen me move away); criticism (real or perceived) especially nasty comments from his dad (himself AS); someone rearranging his little collection of houses; and most recently, hot, bored older children hitting him because he said something strange. On the plus side, we also get lots of hugs and smiles. Oh, and we are minus a living room door at the moment and the kitchen door looks like it might be next.