darkshine

What made you think of that?

I don't read any thread I don't want to - its a bit like newspapers and magazines in a way cuz you can tell from the headlines if there's gonna be stuff in there that is either boring, emotive or a subject matter that is just not to your taste - a bit like the difference between picking up a Nuts magazine as opposed to The Times, Farmer's weekly, Vogue or Autotrader - you can pretty much tell from the front page whether you are gonna read it or not. That's why clear message titles are important I think

Being "NT" or having AS isn't black and white - there's lots of different grey between black and white. There is also minimal help out there, and some of it not very valuable either, I've tried to work with people in services because they've offered help, even when its not the right type of help, and I've done it cuz I was kind of desperate. If you realise that there's minimal help then it can be useful - it forces you to look at what you actually need help with and to only seek that. It also can help you to prioritise and ask "what is my biggest problem, what is affecting everything else?". The answers might not lie with services at all, they might be found on forums, or through friends, and even more importantly, over time, they can be found within yourself too, because you will learn things, we all can.

I personally believe that there is a point to depression as there is a point to suicidal thoughts - they are massive alarm bells telling us something is very wrong. Now some things might be more obvious than others, but I don't really think that depression just pops up from nowhere, I don't think we have to be predisposed, or that genetics rule this - sure they may play a role in things, but I think there is usually a purpose for such feelings.

This is on page two from the link below the quote: http://www.asd-forum...suicide-thread/ It is the most explanation we have had, other than the brief post by Mossgrove about deleting the thread I started a while back and the other thread (I cannot remember what the title was but there was a discussion about someone feeling like a penguin). Also from the rules: People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999. And also: However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help. So although there is a mention - there is not any rule specifically stating that this topic is breaking the rules as nothing said here comes under that criteria. The thing is Sa Skimrande - are you actually wanting to talk about the topic you raised initially in this post - or are you after a massive debate about whether the forum should allow the aforementioned discussion? If so maybe you should start a separate post for that because otherwise one or the other topic here will suffer - they are both too emotive and in-depth to exist within one post without being detrimental to each other (as topics). Just my opinion Regards Darkshine

For the record I second that, I'm not after starting an argument or anything else, and I cannot speak for everyone else, but I for one will not "jump" on anyone who has the guts to come here and say why they have a problem with this sort of discussion. I think Sa Skimrande is right, this is emotive and it needs to be understood before it can be "put to bed" for some of us. Raydon, thank you for seeing my point of view about awareness. Smiley K - yes, depression is a huge factor with AS and stress, and by understanding these things we can get things for ourselves so instead of all that stuff becoming so massive and turning into something that feels impossible, we can find the knowledge, understanding, awareness and coping skills for ourselves to have control of our lives - because AS, depression, stress or anything else should not control us and lead us to terribly dark and bad places. I believe we find strength through learning, sharing and understanding, and we find it from surviving - if everyone can just survive then maybe one day they can get to a point where they can actually live.

Hi

I personally believe that there's a massive difference between the following: Suicidal thoughts Planning suicide Feeling suicidal A suicide attempt. I might have thoughts at a level where I am not particularly suicidal, if the obsession elements and depression and stuff progresses I might plan. But there's a big difference between thoughts and planning something and actually being in a state where I would carry it out. I think its important to be self-aware of such things, for example I personally am quite emotional when thinking about it, or planning it, but when I really feel suicidal it signifies a change in my thinking and mood that is a warning sign - but as such suicide itself is less of a risk, it is this stage where I might threaten it but I'm not going to do it - I suppose stuff could happen to trigger a failed attempt, but it wouldn't be the real deal. Getting to a point where an attempt is actually made, well that is very different. The point I'm making is that stress may provoke thoughts or planning, but I think there needs to be more than just stress, I also think there's more than just depression because of the change in mindset from one set of factors to another - thinking, planning, feeling, are all highly emotive or reactive states for me, whereas an actual attempt feels very different, more calm and decisive. Another point on this is that when people are reactive they might do something they regret, whether that is thinking, planning or even an attempt - but a reactive state doesn't necessarily mean that a person actually 100% wants to die, it just might seem like a course of action that is viable or sensible (in a reactive mindset that might make more sense) for a number of reasons. Finally I think some people, whether they have AS or not, can be more likely to go from one extreme to another because of simplistic thinking, with the sort of logic that says something like: Life is rubbish, I'll never succeed, I'm hurt, I'm depressed, I'm useless - and then jump to a massive conclusion that those elements require death - its a pretty big jump in the thinking process because those things can point to any number of other solutions - yet that can be hard to see when you feel a certain way. I'd also reiterate that for me, stress wouldn't make me threaten suicide, its a whole lot more than that, there's negative feelings and thoughts and emotions, I may have distortions in how I view things, depression becomes a huge factor here too, also there's likely to be some external stuff as well as internal things. Of course those things add stress and can be fuelled by stress but there's way more to it (for me) than stress alone, Either way any of the factors can be very isolating because people see it as wrong to think about it, wrong to plan, wrong to feel that way and wrong to make an attempt. What I see as wrong is when people cannot discuss this stuff at a time when that is exactly what they may need to do - otherwise it can seem like there's no way out, and I believe that at certain stages we do look for answers and ways out, but it can be hard to find them when nobody understands - this can further enhance the isolation and make things far worse. Just a few thoughts Darkshine

It depends on how you act.

Maybe if there's a old school video game tournament with those sorts of games.... It's useful for planning real life journeys I guess - not that I go on many

There are a lot of points and questions here that haven't been answered or addressed by the forum team.... I for one would be interested in feedback, further details, or whether the whole idea is still up for review or abandoned...

The thing with any interaction we have is that we cannot always predict the response. You obviously want to look at this area of conversation, so look at in a new way, make a mental or physical list of the things that interest you, and slowly work through it - I find that if I throw topics of conversation at someone as though I am a machine gun, a lot of people don't like it. So pick a couple of things and see what sort of response you get... If they react in an interested way, talk about stuff, ask more questions, mention things that are relevant or linked then there's a fair chance they are interested to some extent. If what you say gets a low key response or a negative one (as in the person has nothing to say, isn't interested or there are long silences and you are the only one talking) then its time to try something else. I would also use this interest thing as a turn around thing, cuz you can ask people what they are interested in and see if you find common ground - such as what do they like to do, where do they like to go, what was their favourite holiday or place, what music do they like, what books, films, do they like the whole celeb thing, or have tv programmes they like. These are general questions you can ask - again - I wouldn't do this in a way that makes them feel like they are being interrogated in court or something. Then you can reminisce - this can take you so far in finding other interests, you can ask if they remember certain things from school, or from the period of time of being at school (such as world events, music, teachers, things that happened). People also seem to like to know what you are doing and have done, so you could think of a few things that could potentially be interesting - my advice here is to try and think of things that someone can actually reply to - so not too depressive or anything cuz that can be a conversation killer I have found.... Then there's current affairs and some typical stuff if you run out of ideas - things in the news that someone might have an opinion on, brief comments about the weather or the prices of things... These are just some ideas.... it really depends on the person you talk to and how they respond. Its best to be relaxed and try to gauge the other persons mood, if they clam up, seem bored, go quiet, or start looking at their watch and stuff then you need to change tack and try something else. Basically when you do not know these things I find that trying to be flexible helps, because you can see what works and what doesn't and learn a bit in the process - of course you could well have to do this sort of thing with every person as you learn what works and what doesn't - but don't write anything off permanently as what may bore one person may really interest another person. I often find that if all else fails find something that the person likes to talk about and find stuff related to that, or ask questions about that and see where it leads - again - you will see if someone is struggling to think of anything else to say cuz they will have to think or they will act weird and stuff. This is a good scenario in meeting an old school friend because you have a whole area of catching up to fall back on - I'd use that to keep things going in the conversation at the same time as seeing if certain subjects could lead to other topics - I try and make a note in my mind of things to return to... I find that conversation works best with give and take - I find I enjoy them better when the topics have some common ground - I try to remember that this works both ways and that the other person has to have some degree of interest too - if they clearly don't then find something else to talk about, or even better just ask them questions that require an answer that isn't "yes" or "no" So like with a film example - there's no point going "do you like such and such a film" it's better to ask if they saw something and ask what they thought about it, cuz then they can't just say yes or no. If you think about that a bit there's often ways of saying things that increase the likelihood of a conversation beginning, once you are talking to each other about something this is less important, but I find its a good way to start - and it also means you don't need to come up with a dozen prompting questions too - it makes a difference... and you can learn what someone is like at the same time. Hope this helps Darkshine

I liked the original Sonic on the Mastersystem - the weird thing is I can remember all the best routes, where all the crystals are hidden, even after all these years... computer games and routes (including maps in real life) just seem to burn themselves into my mind and I just seem to know them.

Hello

What are you interested in? Can you not see if others share your interests?

You can play with it online http://ldd.lego.com/

Hello

Personally, I don't see why some younger people shouldn't read certain things, they are learning about the world too and some things are very very relevant. I understand that explicit things can be offensive to some, but I am curious where the line is drawn because I was talking about and had viewed adult problems when I was a kid and teenager and it would have been good to understand all that stuff better at the time - as opposed to still trying to work some of it out now. You have to ask the question: Why would a young child or teenager be reading such things if they didn't want to know about them?

I wonder if there's a name for that Justine, I almost posted about it months ago but felt it might sound weird - but I wondered back then if its an actual thing, or if people would think I was mad. I can definitely feel stuff though, pressures, pain... Guess I'm not the only one though

Sometimes I can feel parts of my brain working when things happen, when I feel certain emotions for example, I feel a sort of pressure or sometimes pain in different parts of my head, but the feeling is not a surface thing in my scalp or anything, it feels like its my mind.

I can tell you - it feels like people look through me, like they can see into me. But then there's another side to this - I look into someone's eyes and so much is there and with some people its too much, too much emotion, feeling, thoughts. So what do I do about it? I practice looking into people's eyes when I talk to them, and I find that its a little easier with some people than others - so I realise that it is possible - although it is very difficult to do with some people cuz its like being burnt and that can feel impossible - but I refuse to label it as impossible - it can feel impossible at time, although that isn't the same thing - but I practice when the chances arise anyway, even if it means I only look occasionally. And then I try to not be bothered that I can't meet certain people's eyes - cuz they can either accept me or not - I know I'm trying to deal with my issues with holding a normal gaze with people so if some people have a problem with it when I cannot - then its their problem and not mine.

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