Mihaela

Interesting: Yes, by "severe" - I think I mean low-functioning? The word "severe" is on my diagnosis. I need loads of help with stuff 'cause I'm super forgetful and really clumsy. My husband looks after me; it's his job to make sure I'm fed, showered, and to take me outside, etc. (NB: just reading that back, I sound like a pet!) Sounds kind of bad being an "adult" and you can't look after yourself.. gets me down sometimes.. even though I don't feel like an adult but still. They tend to use the low-functioning label for people with severe learning disabilities. Clearly you don't fall into that group. I'm very like you from what you say. My parents made sure I was fed, took me out, reminded me to shower, etc. And, no I don't feel at all like an adult either - nor would I want to. After my mother died in 2012, life has become very difficult, and I'm constantly having to fight for support. You're very lucky to have a husband who cares for you in that way. I tend to stick to the more Germanic languages, especially the nordic ones. As long as you keep well away from Finnish (I know it's not Nordic, but it that part of the world). I'm really fascinated by the grammar.. I have a whole selection of books on grammar.. and it's always exciting to dip into them. Me too! I have around 3000 books, including a lengthy and obscure tome on Russian dialects in very great detail. Aren't we weird!

Hello Eirlys, and welcome! Hmm, I don't know what 'severe' Asperger's is supposed to mean. 'High functioning is another term that confuses me. It's all relative. We may be weak in our own particular areas. If severity is measured according to anxiety and executive dysfunction, then I too have severe traits and I'm low functioning. "reading, writing letters, gardens, tea, exploring, crosswords, stillness" - me too, all of them! Do you have any favourite languages? I'm interested in language, words and languages in general - quite obsessively. I stick to European languages and my main interests are French, Romanian and the Slavic group. I suspect 6 or 7 members of my family had/have undiagnosed Asperger's - all on my mother's side, including her, her own mother and my brother.

Exactly the kind of questions I would like to ask! If only such organisations conducted membership surveys, but due their very nature that would be considered heretical. I'm not sure how accurate this US survey is but the results don't surprise me: http://freeminds.org/psych/pew_survey.htm The Witnesses had one of the lowest levels of education of all the religions surveyed. Nineteen percent had only a high school education or less, the lowest education level of all religions surveyed. This compares to eight percent of atheists and only three percent of all Jews. About half (42 percent) of the Jehovah's Witnesses had incomes below 30,000 and only nine percent had incomes above 100,000 dollars. Only those involved in historically black churches had incomes below the Witnesses. Of the Jews, a mere 14 percent had incomes below 30,000 but 46 percent had incomes above 100,000 dollars Other clues come from the many stories of disaffected (or 'disfellowshipped') members. There are even several forums for ex-JW and ex-LDS members - very interesting posts too... I'd say that the members fall into two main groups: those whose personalities already mirror the ethos of the cult, and those who are vulnerable, insecure, lonely, or seeking guidance - whose minds are manipulated and moulded into adopting the views of the first group. Some of the traits required would be: poor ability for independent or rational thinking; a willing blind obedience to authority figures; a narrow, blinkered worldview; a love of hierarchy and status; attracted to ritual; an unsophisticated absolutist moral sense; an undeveloped aesthetic sense; a punitive attitude to rule-breaking; a lack of empathy for outsiders; a fear of change; belief in a 'divine plan'; 'Armageddon syndrome'; an exclusivity/superiority complex; a deferment of gratification extending beyond death. Crucial to all cults is the founder's personality, which is reflected in all those (carefully-chosen) people who inherit his leadership (nearly all are men). Its creation, propaganda and control methods are determined by the founder's and successors' personality traits. Such people are invariably authoritarian personalities attempting to compensate for their own deep feelings of insecurity and hatred by forming cults to attract those whom they can manipulate into joining, and to keep them under their compliant submission. Their secondary motive to use them to increase their wealth and status. At least one thing we can be sure about is that the elders and the puppet-masters at the top are not short of money.

My feelings exactly. I've had to suffer many occasions where that has happened, and it's horrible and so unfair! Let's look for another analogy then. People with severe learning disability. NT's never tell them they'll "get over it", or even expect them to. What about people with Down's syndrome? Having a dismissive and judgmental attitude towards them would rightly be seen as discrimination. Ironically, autism is the only mental condition that has its own government Act - the Autism Act. Is it really worth the paper it's written on, when even public bodies flagrantly ignore it? It makes me so angry! I feel the NAS should be far more vocal about the appalling way that adults on the spectrum are being treated. If not them, then maybe we should think about organising to fight for our interests. Instead of relying upon support from NT organisations we'd be much better off offering each other any support we're able to give. We all have our various talents and maybe they could be put to good use in helping one another. I'll end with this quote from the Âutistic Ûnion: "The dehumanisation of people through our disability and services system needs to change and it can start with this one simple step. We are often seen as a number. A file on a desk and a project but we are people; a people who often have to place our lives into the hands of complete strangers where trust and relationship is not considered important but for effective outcomes this should be the first priority not a second thought".

Religiously disposed people are attracted to particular religions (when allowed a choice) that match their personality and temperament, e.g. In the Abrahamic faiths an authoritarian personality is attracted to authoritarian branches of their religion, that require blind obedience to a hierarchy as well as to 'sacred writings', as interpreted by that hierarchy. (This psychological factor is the cause of the countless schisms within religions, and the cause of religion itself). The founder of a break-away sect interprets the 'holy book' in a way that conforms with his pre-existing personality traits. The hierarchy or elders simply follow their leader, and occasionally some my break away over some doctrinal issue to form their own sect. The flock simply follow whatever their elders dictate. However, that's the general rule, for children and vulnerable adults are easily manipulated into joining whatever sect or denomination their manipulators/abusers belong to. Sects and cults attract disproportionate numbers of vulnerable people, especially those with mental health problems and who are no position to make decisions for themselves. Often these people are lonely or desperately seeking help, which makes them easy prey. This brainwashing of the young and vulnerable can cause much psychological damage, often lifelong. As for atypical sexual orientations, the Abrahamic faiths, especially their fundamentalist wings, are obsessed with anything sexual. Usually the most pious ones are the most sexually repressed. Piety and perversion are often different sides of the same coin. They deny their own sexual 'demons' and project them onto others - 'sodomites', 'fornicators', 'onanists', adulterers, 'loose women', etc. (Significantly, lesbianism is not listed in the 613 laws of Judaism, and nor was it ever an offence in English law). This tendency is strongest in hard-line Islam, extreme Orthodox Judaism and American-style Christian fundamentalism (including JW's & Mormons) - products of Puritan Protestantism. They create numerous elaborate rules related to sexual matters, usually based upon the Old Testament (esp. Leviticus). Catholics dealt with this in a different way by using confession to absolve them of their sins. Anti-gay propaganda is much more closely associated with the US Christian Right and European fascism than with the Catholic Church or mainstream Anglicanism. None of this joyless repression results from Christian teachings. It all originates in Jewish law, and as far I know there's nothing in the Bible that relates to Jesus having anything to say on sexual matters, however, as a Jew, he had a religious duty to marry and produce offspring - and I strongly suspect that he did.

Oops! I meant: "...back to your doctor..." Confused, I agree - every hinges on who happen to see, and how experienced they are. Livelife - waiting times seem to be another big variable. I didn't have to wait all that long for a diagnosis. I think the whole autism thing has become something of a postcode lottery. So unfair.

Hello Mr Salvador, and welcome to the forum! These all apply to me too: "Conversation about theoretical physics, space time and relativity. Languages. Learning new things and cooking. ...Also like like logic puzzles and solving problems". I loved your signature comments. I couldn't agree with you more.

Welcome to the forum, RedDwarf. We speak the same language. I agree with all you say, and have had too much direct experience with the 'caring' system to doubt you. I just can't understand why there is still so much inhumanity in this world. These 'professionals' have the intelligence to know what is wrong, so why are they so inhuman? Your comparison with the Nazis was very apt, for an identical controlling mindset is involved. I'm so pleased your children are now being home-educated. I was heavily involved in the home education movement in its early days, partly because my own school experience was extremely traumatic. My parents never knew what I was going at the time, and teachers pulled the wool over their eyes. Only years later did they learn the truth. I feel too many of us are isolated like little islands, and that we need to organise in order to protect one another, for when problems do arrive, it's often too late. I've known several vulnerable people who have been pushed to the point of ending their lives, simply because they can no longer cope with the pressures imposed upon them by an uncaring system.

At least that hurdle is over and she's not fobbed you off, but you're still none the wiser. You were within your rights to request a referral to a specialist. Only an autism specialist is competent to diagnose you, yet if you were a child it seems almost anyone can - which isn't good.;[[[[[[ No way do you have a PD, but all the signs you mention say that you have a PDD! But please bear in mind that CBT therapists are not generally very knowledgeable about autism. Don't let them simply assume that you suffer from anxiety or depression. In the end it will most likely have to go bad to your doctor for a referral. It must be so reassuring that that particular sister is beginning to see the light. A friend of mine sought a diagnosis for exactly the same reason that your sister gives: that her parents wouldn't nag her so much or get annoyed with her. It was making her life very unhappy, for she really can't help being the way she is. Being understood by others is one the main reasons for getting a diagnosis. Let us know how you get on.

If anyone expects that of me, I'll remind them that I'm on the spectrum and that they need to understand the basics of what that means. If they can't, then they're in the wrong job. It's like expecting someone who's blind to learn how to see. I've always been quite gullible when it comes to people, especially 'authority' figures, but in recent years experience has taught me to trust no-one, although it's against my nature and not easy. It also feels so wrong that so many people are out there to deceive and exploit me. Naturally, my opinion of the NT world is based upon how it has treated me, but also on how it treats all disadvantaged people and animals too. It has an appalling track record of inhumanity and selfishness, yet they have the cheek to see us as the ones who need to 'improve'!

That problem can be easily solved too. I just say: "Pare rău, dar eu nu vorbesc limba engleză" or " Извините, но я не говорю по-английски". It always works. Useful when approached by undesirables in the street too. PS - But don't forget to make sure you don't speak to the animal in English.

I do, and they're getting worse. I too am entitled to a bus pass, and my support worker is shortly going to arrange for it. It would help a lot when bringing back heavy shopping. If I'd known I could have had one years ago. At present I only use buses and trains for my journeys into Yorkshire (usually weekly and very expensive). As these last about 4 hours each way, there's no way I'd be able to cope with them alone. Accompanied I could. I've found that by taking one of my cats with me - all excellent travellers - I have something other than myself to focus on and to be responsible for. Whenever I feel a panic attack coming on, being able to have a cat on my knee, and stroke it and hear the purrring greatly reduces stress. It works every time.

I agree with you, Livelife, but I must emphasise that at least as far as all my difficulties are concerned, they have always been made so much worse by insensitive and ignorant treatment by others - especially those who should know better, such as teachers and petty officials of all kinds. This awful lifelong experience has naturally made me very cynical of the NT world. Most neurotypical people are perfectly capable of understanding us and making the (very minor) adaptations necessary. What I can't understand is why so few of them even bother to try. Whoever told you that was wrong! For many of us have been reliant upon decades of support from our parents, who rightly still saw us as children in many ways. When that support disappears - suddenly and tragically - we are left not only grieving, but also stranded in the same barely-capable state as those very children who get so much help, simply because of their age. This is flagrant age discrimination, and is so unfair!

An excellent reply, Livelife! I feel just the same. The double standards of the NT world are beyond reason. They've even tried to change my personality to suit their flawed reasoning and current rule-book ideology, but my principles are an integral part of who I am - and existed long before their faddish ideology was born. Abandon them and I would be betraying myself. My experiences have taught me that they fear people with higher ethical principles than their own - which are very low and inconsistent. In fact, they fear people who are able to think for themselves.

Although not my area, I understand your anger. This is what I expect from LA's. In my experience they do they can to make life harder for us with one hand, while making it easier with the other. Whatever treatment we get, it seems to be dictated by chance depending upon the personalities involved. Perhaps someone with experience of SEN statements could help you.

Perhaps, the more exclusive and authoritarian a religion becomes, the more we should wonder about whether it is actually a cult masquerading as a respectable religion. The size of the organisation shouldn't be relevant here. The JW's and their big 'rivals', the Mormons (LDS), both uniquely American products of their time, satisfy most of the criteria for cult status. The total-control element, which even extends to discouraging any outside influences (even books) is a classic hallmark of cults, and frankly gives me the creeps! I once visited the home of four home-educated JW children, and the only books in the house were all Watchtower publications (complete with their rather embarrassing illustrations!). The children lived and breathed their religion, knowing nothing else. However, the US Christian Right in general tends to treat matters such as autism in ways similar to the JW's. They are very reluctant to have anything to do with psychiatry, secular counselling or therapy. They opt for faith-based 'healing' instead, and believe in such notions as possession by 'demons', speaking in tongues and the power of prayer. If the prayers and healing don't work, then they simply say that it was of God's will, part of his 'divine plan' - and we are not question his mysterious ways. Should things spiral out of control (often due to their very methods), and if the older child persists in 'ungodly' behaviour, they disown the child as a sinner. (Just as they 'disfellowship' their own children, if they 'marry out' - or worse still, 'live in sin'! This has happened among my relatives. Many children from these sects are home-educated, nearly always on religious grounds (often to isolate them from the 'sinfulness' and 'immorality' of the world), and this is surely even more likely if the children are on the spectrum. Many probably never get diagnosed. Political correctness, irrationally protects well-established religions such as the JW's, the Mormons, the Exclusive Brethren, fundamentalist Islam, Judaism, etc., even though they abuse their children - brainwashing, corporal punishment, genital mutilation, etc.

I'm pleased that we've been of some help to you. Recently, I've spoken to two children on the spectrum who speak of inclusion units as being like a form of punishment, especially as badly-behaved NT children also use them. Effectively that's what they are, for surely it's the children's perception that matters - rather than the euphemism used by the school. Schools have always dictated to parents and tended to patronise them with the notions that 'teachers know best', 'we make the rules;we don't need to justify them - but you must obey them'. They can even fear flexibility and compromise. All institutions suffer from a superiority complex which can often override common sense and humanity. 'Giving in' to parents (who tend to know their children's needs far better than any teacher) is seen as a threat to their collective professional ego, and they are prepared to lie and even use dirty tricks in order to protect it. I've seen this attitude so many times, and it's one reason why some parents are forced to home educate. They are driven to it. Sometimes I feel that teachers treat parents as they treat naughty pupils. Work with children can create a hierarchical and dictatorial personality among predisposed teachers which extends way beyond school life. You can recognise these people as being teachers even before they tell you. The profession also attracts people who are may be very good at working with children, but socially weak with adults. I should know, for I was one of them! I know another Aspie teacher and she feels exactly the same - very uncomfortable in the staff room or with parents. They're being disingenuous and playing games with you. I can't believe that they truly believe that it's illegal. Their reason for refusing your legal right is ridiculous and illegal in itself - they're trying to bluff you that you have no such right, hoping that you'll given in. I'm not sure what I'd do in your situation. I'd think I'd make an official complaint to the governors and ask for the matter to be resolved as soon as possible, otherwise I'd be forced to take further action. You're also owed an apology - but that's something they really don't like doing.

I have heard of Alice-in-Wonderland syndrome and read about it only a few weeks ago. The closing-in-of-the-room sense gives it its name (when Alice grew too big for the room she was in). It's associated mainly with childhood and hypnagogic hallucinatory states (when we're about to fall asleep). When I'm short of sleep I suffer from very complex and colourful visual hallucinations which occur mainly when I'm in bed trying to get to sleep. They're not unpleasant and I seem to be able to create and change them with my mind. When I was small in a dark room I feared the room closing in on me, so I always had a night light - and still do. Sleeping in a very dark room frightens me as does waking up in such darkness. I'm not sure if there's a link here with autism, but there could well be, My brother, who was almost certainly on the spectrum - but very different to me - suffered very bad migraines and fibromyalgia. He never spoke of hallucinations - visual or auditory. AIWS is crucially a disturbance of perception (unlike psychoses). I'm just reading the Wikipedia entry which says it's restricted to visual hallucinations - usually distortions in size, "sound distortion, such as every little movement making a clattering sound" - something I suffer from almost every day, and which I put down to my sensory processing sensitivities - and distortions of time - which I also have occasionally. "Other minor or less common symptoms may include loss of limb control and general dis-coordination, memory loss, lingering touch and sound sensations, and emotional experiences". A truly fascinating condition, and one which seems to be connected very much to SPS, which is so common in autism. Nowhere does it mention hearing voices, though.

That's really awful. I feel so sorry for you. I only wish I could help you in any way. I became partially estranged from my brother ever since I was about 14 (due to school). He'd do anything for me and I'd see him a few times each year when with our parents, but we rarely spoke other than when discussing common interests. He went missing a few years ago, and was found unaccountably drowned in the sea - still only in his 40s. The horror of it all still lingers, and my mother lived another 7 years having to bear that loss. Only after his death did I realise that his difficulties were due to AS. We shared some common AS traits, but not others. He had bad fibromyalgia too, but I don't. He was stronger than me in many ways, and could manage without support, and my mother had planned for him to support me after she'd gone. I wasn't to be I had a friend who I knew well for 17 years. We lost touch due to 'life getting in the way', and a few years ago I was shocked to read his obituary on the internet. He was only in his 40s and immediately suspected that he'd taken his own life. A year or so later I read that, yes, he had. He was well-known and well-liked, a pirate radio DJ, but I knew this was only a 'cover', for he was very lonely and depressed when not hiding behind a microphone. I feel guilty for not getting back into contact with him, and often wonder whether he'd be alive today if only I had done. Looking back, I'm pretty sure he was an Aspie, as was my mother. Neither of us ever knew why we were 'different' to most people, but now I do. I lost touch with another very close friend who I only knew for four 3 years, but who had a great influence on the direction of my life. A few years ago I made an effort to find her and eventually found an old friend of hers, now a psychiatrist. He told me that she had died a month earlier. I still think about whether I should contact her children (who I knew very well). I still have a very emotionally undeveloped attitude towards death - unchanged since age 12ish. Everything about it terrifies and confuses me, and I react differently to neurotypical adults. I dwell on it if I'm not constantly distracted, and I even invent OCD rituals to protect my dead family, and still can't fully believe it. Life can be very hard and cruel, especially for some of us.

"...I get from the post is that the best interest of a the child is not the top priority but following rules that are detrimental to the child's needs" . This comes as no surprise to me. Due to a school's very nature, its own interests (often not disclosed or obvious) always come before the best interests of any individual child. Schools cut corners and take risks all the time. Unwritten policies abound, as they do in all institutions, despite what they may publicly claim.

Maybe you could try Arden College here in Southport. It has a good reputation and a lot of experience with autism. It's not in Yorkshire, but at least it's in a neighbouring county. http://www.priorygroup.com/location-results/item/arden-college---southport

Spot on, Livelife! You've really got them weighed up

I watch the birds a lot. I feed them every day in the garden. I'm now off to a local lake to watch the ducklings and baby coots

I agree, it's not 'illegal'! It is legal but at the headteacher's discretion. That teacher is either ignorant of the law or having a power-trip. These links should be useful: http://edyourself.org/articles/flexischooling.php http://edyourself.org/articles/flexischooling.php#flexiconf http://www.theguardian.com/theobserver/she-said/2014/sep/25/theres-nothing-irregular-about-flexi-schooling http://www.home-education.org.uk/articles/article-flexi-schooling.pdf Flexi-schooling is used by many partly home-educated children and has been for some time. I find that headteachers have too much power in certain important areas, and some enjoy using that power, and they will 'bluff' (i.e. lie) parents as to what the law entails. The police and local authorities generally do the same - every day - because they know they have a very good chance of getting away with it.

There's such a lot I could say on this, but l don't have time. Firstly I feel I need to clarify what I mean by 'authoritarian personalities'. Quite possibly you never met one at school. If so, you were lucky. I use the term as it would be used by psychologists. Briefly according to wikipedia: "Authoritarian personality is a state of mind or attitude characterised by belief in absolute obedience or submission to one's own authority, as well as the administration of that belief through the oppression of one's subordinates." It's a personality lacking in empathy and closely associated with sociopathy/psychopathy. Any position involving control of others attracts this type of personality. Such people make very bad role models. I suspect that you mean teachers who are 'firm but fair', teachers who use their position of authority wisely and don't abuse it. The difference is enormous. These people make good role models. One big problem for young people in the English-speaking world (and increasingly elsewhere) is the promoting of very bad role models by the mass media - almost always wealthy 'celebrities' lacking in morals and merit. Even our politicians, police, etc. repeatedly show very low ethical standards. Families are drenched with sordid 'soaps' and unreal 'reality shows' invading their homes that even celebrate unethical behaviour and turn it into a kind of perverse entertainment. Too many parents are complicit in allowing their children to behave badly, and too many children willingly do so, for they see it as 'cool' and grown-up. Society actively promotes selfishness, vanity and greed from all directions - all motivated by making a few (already rich) people even more money. Following in the USA's footsteps, rampant consumerism has virtually become the national 'religion'. Our children are swamped with the influences of intense peer pressure, dubious teen magazines, demeaning pornography, not to mention the worry of having to pass exams that lack meaning in their lives, the 'designer label' mentality, their body image, their 'like counts' on Facebook, etc. What more can we expect when we see young people go off the rails? So many neurotypical 'values' sadden me.