pookie170

Cal just doesn't get it. Not at all. He finds it hard to discern what they're talking about and even when he can see the expressions they're talking about, he thinks they look utterly different and mean other things. I can see where he's coming from, TBH, but I told him to try watching his brother closely if he knew small was telling a porky and he triumphantly bellowed 'Aha! Look at his eyes! His mouth's going all funny!! He's LYING, Mum!', in a most am-dram manner! AND small was caught out, too!!

Well, my youngest is seething because his big brother has been off all week and won't be in tomorrow either! I pointed out to him that he was quick enough to tease his brother that he was going back to school before him, it has come back to bite him square on the bum! Cal is now at 'Like, TOTALLY bored now, Mum!!!' stage- even his new Bopit toy has lost its appeal! Lady Gaga can no longer tempt him into singing along happily, and Super Mario has been discarded in favour of sprawling in melancholy on our sofa, whinging loudly at anyone who will listen. At this point, even the dog tries to cover his ears!!! I want this snow malarky to desist, forthwith, or I shall not be held responsible for stowing away on the next boat to Timbuktoo, in search of a quieter life!!!

Hey guys! First off, thanks for all the lovely messages on my post about our baby! But I'm posting on behalf of an online 'chum' who is 19, pregnant and both she and her BF have A.S. Does anyone have any good advice for her with regards to pregnancy care, birth and beyond, from an aspie parents' POV? I've given her what advice I can think of, but am aware that living with AS and actually BEING an Aspie are two completely different things.... especially in this situation. I'm thinking of tips for attending antenatal appointments, things/adjustments you found helpful for the birth, advice on socialising your children and so on. She's a lovely young lady but she's stressing out hugely, the wee soul! (Listen to Granny Esther, heheh!!) Any advice from you Aspie mums and Dads out there would be very much appreciated- actually, advice for her BF would be greatly appreciated- all you blokes seem to get forgotten about when a baby's on its way, don't you? Cheers!! Esther (and Bob the bump!)

Hey guys! A belated Merry Christmas to all of you and an anticipatory Happy New Year as well! Haven't been on here much of late as other things have been going on that I couldn't share up to this point... However, the floodgates are now open and so.... Guess what???? We're having a baby! Sproglet number three is due at the start of June 2010, and we couldn't be happier! ............................... ...........................Though in the wee, small hours, I have wondered at my sanity, going back after 7 years to honking nappies, squalling infant and sleepless nights.... not to mention the birth itself (owie,owie!!) and all the aches and pains in the run-up to it!! http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/phr0027l.jpg No,no, really, we're dead chuffed ad happy to be able to share our news! So there you go- Happy New Year, everyone!! Esther XX

What about Asborjer's then, Kathryn? By a healthcare 'professional', I kid you not! I was looking at the notes as she continued writing and it grated on me till I could stand it no more, and piped up- 'I'm sorry, but that's nothing like the real spelling- would you mind correcting it, please?' ....... Talk about a death glare.....my heart paused a moment, honest! However, correct it she did. My OH was appalled at me- though he was helpless with laughter about it once we were outside!

We had a wonderful day! AT home with my brother, sister and a family friend- and we were so relaxed and happy all day.....brilliant, best Christmas in along time. Next year, I suppose we'll be back at the in-laws . Not that it's not nice, its just a bit more stressful..... Here, Cal could retreat when he needed, to familiarity and do what he wanted. I kinda feel he's expected to take part in everything, though I insist he's allowed time out to chill at points at the OH's folks.... they love him to bits and are great with him, but don't always get his needs in ways that can avoid meltdowns or avoid him getting wound up..... Anyway, sorry to see this Christmas pass by- we were up sooo late and it didn't even feel like it! Not really looking forward to Hogmanay,it will be a sober affair this year and I always find the passing of another year a bit melancholic....part of its missing my folks, I suppose.....or maybe its just that as you get older you appreciate how fleeting time really is? Oo, I'm depressing, aren't I? I do hope that 2010 is full of great things for all of you, Esther XX

Yay, well done!!

Marvellous news, Bid! Sending even more positive vibes Meg's way- thrilled to hear of her startlingly fab progress! XX

Have you guys heard of this one? Have I missed something? I was surprised to read this....... Anyhow, I thought I'd post it and get your views.... http://www.babycenter.com/204_parents-age-...&pe=2UyIqO4

Mel- have you tried putting a 'Wanted- VHS recorder' ad in your local Freecycle? I'm almost certain someone, somewhere, will have an old (working!) VCR that they would hive you, which is the whole point of Freecycle- no money changes hands!

Aw, Kez. I'm not exactly sure of your situation (nor am I nosing, don't feel you must fill me in!!) and have no sage advice, but I empathise fully. Wish I could help, but will have to make do with giving you a <'> . Hope tomorrows a bit brighter for you, Esther x

My sister works in a vets and started to tell me, deathly serious, about some poor old pooch who had been traumatised by something nasty happening to him. (Genuine concern from me at this point, I don't like hearing of animals suffering...) Then she went on to gravely outline the dog's newly put-togeher treatment regimine. Pheromone spray, exercise plan, fine and dandy. It was when she got to, 'And the animal behaviourist has started him on acupuncture and play therapy....' that I had to bury my head in a cushion and giggle helplessly. Yes, I know, I'm heartless, my sis told me so already, but I just had this image of a bloodhound face down on a massage table, bristling in pins, telling a therapist about his day.....ooh, I'm mean, aren't I? There's a zoo in England somewhere (or was it America???),that has developed a way of desensitizing their animals to typical treatments, check up procedures and vet visits, through rewarding them for accepting injections well and so on. It was quite something to see a huge cat flinch slightly as it received a vaccination, then meekly accept its treat! And the thought that went into the design of this zoo- the big cats for instance were of 4 main species- lion, tiger, puma and cheetah, say. All their enclosures were connected by walkways that get opened at certain times of the day. Each species has its own day for getting to walk round and explore aLL the enclosures- it was fabulous, they were so lively and healthy looking. Hope your poor cat accepts his tablets more easily tomorrow, Tally. I may have just mocked a suffering doggie, but perhaps your vet has behavioural techniques they could suggest to try and make this easier? Poor chap, (Mr Cat, that is!) hope he's feeling better soon.

Again, marvellous news. It sounds like it's all falling into place for him, and deservedly so! Ooh, housewarming party!...(Hah, if it was my Cal, the party would consist of bowls of cheesy pasta, tomatoey pasta, froot loops and doritos for nibbles, Pink on the stereo and non-stop gaming!! Argh!) Sounds ace, think he'll be a right houseproud homeowner? Great news, hope all goes well- get ready to dig out the Dulux and paint rollers, Pearl! Esther x

Good luck with this, Sally. My son had a similar problem last year, he REALLY didn't get on with another child that was added to his taxi and there were frequent flare-ups. One of the things that really got to him was the noise levels in the taxi, from this child in particular. I'm afraid that after we gave him earplugs, he had a similar reaction as your son- he could still hear the other boy and he was still angry about this. But there wasn't much else I could do about it. The LA would not split the 3 kids between 2 taxis due to costs etc, especially as it was only a 20-25 min drive so I really don't fancy your chances at trying to get this changed- I'll keep my fingers crossed for you, but the way things are at the moment, I wouldn't hold your breath. Do you work, at all? Reason being, it ended up with me driving Cal to school (for various reasons, not just the one above) but I was given a small travel allowance from the LA for doing this....might that be an option for you?

I have to say that I am the owner of a rather large labradoodle who has a wonderful nature but is very excitable. I never let him off the lead in residential areas, or even parks where I know kids are apt to be playing because I worry that he'll run after them and knock them down when he (invariably!) jumps up to greet them. He could do enough damage to someone that way, never mind the fact that ANY dog on earth has the capacity to attack with intent to harm. As many have already said, dogs are animals and may read certain actions, noises etc as threats....... So I have to say that I don't think dog-owners should consider all park-type areas as an area where they instantly have a right to let their dogs off the lead either- there are country parks, specified dog-walking trails, park areas generally accepted as dog-walking areas...or even certain times of day/evening when it's more suitable to let your dog off the lead. I like dogs, but it still annoys me hugely to have someone else's dog come bounding over and jump up on me. I get very embarrassed if our own dog does it- which is why we constantly scan ahead and get him back on the lead if we see someone else coming our way. I can't apologise enough if he does bound off after someone- he needs exercise, yes, but he does not have the right to terrify people. Phobias aren't stupid- they may not be based in rationality but then, who expects a phobia to be rational? And yes, it irritates the lie out of me when other dog owners don't pick up their dogs' mess- its a huge problem in our area. No excuse is acceptable, IMO.

The Carnival Games one is good, we enjoy that! (SM Galaxy gives me motion sickness, believe it or not!) But we thoroughly enjoy an evenng of Carnival Gaming! I think the SM Olympics could be good fun too!

Yes, well, thanks for that, MM. That makes me feel just flippin marvellous, that does. I'm a baby-sitter, am I? Cheers. Actually, I do have relevant qualifications and each SLA (support for Learning Assistant)at the schools I have worked in is shown the program/material being used for a specific child by the Support for Learning Teacher. We are taken through what needs to be done, what is hoped to be achieved through it, how we can best support the child using the material and so on. We certainly aren't left to simper beside a child all day and draw fluffy bunnies for them. One SLT simply cannot give each and every child the amount of 1:1 work that is necessary. Many programmes require a child to complete a session once a day, for 10-20 minutes. In a school of 500 or so kids, it's not feasible to lay all that at the feet of one SLT. TAs are NEEDED for this very reason. I for one, would be loathe to return to the bad old days where kids were left to flounder unaided. I appreciate that you have had a bad experience, but kindly do not stereotype all of us who work in this area. I am not some kind of vacuous, incompetent, do-gooder who bumbles along like an ineffectual kids' tv presenter.....though I hold my hands up to being well-meaning in my actions with the kids. Consider me duly insulted. And I don't get insulted easily either. Bravo.

I thnk my aspie son, who is 12 now, does indeed suffer from low self esteem and often experiences anxiety. His conditions (he also has ADHD) have led to him being in constant 'trouble' from an early age, he almost expects to muck new experiences up and above all, he hates being different. I think many people on the spectrum, and many who have ADHD or similar conditions, will certainly understand the feelings you have described. I have utterly no experience of adult diagnosis but there are many on this site who do and who will be, I am quite sure, more than happy to give you advice, should you wish to go down that route. I don't know if I'm helping you or muddying the waters further!

That's awesome! Oh, congratulations JP, on your new job and a thoroughly heartfelt well-done! (I got a bit teary-eyed reading that, you know!) What wonderful news, I'm so pleased for you guys, Pearl....fabulous, just fabulous. <'> Thanks for sharing that, Pearl. Made my evening, it really has. X

Yay! Well done JP!!

Hah! When I was in hospital having my youngest, and was pacing up and down the corridor in between contractions, I met a woman who had been in my antenatal class. She too, was in labour though not very far on. We shuffled, slipper-clad and bulging tummed, up the corridor and I turned to start the shuffle back down. I stopped, because the other wife was no longer beside me. Looking around, I spotted her at the door to the labour suite, shrugging on a dressing gown and rummaging in the pockets. "What are you doing?" I asked, confuzzled. "Aw, ah've hud it, hen." she replied. "Ah'm off oot fur a fag!" Gobsmacked!! (The midwives were scandalised!!) Met her again back on the maternity ward and she was forever nipping out for ciggie after ciggie....leaving her new baby with any other mum that would accomodate her......mental. We christened her Waynetta.

Big well done there, then!! Great to get positive feedback, isn't it!? Yaay!

I agree, the best thing to do is relax and not push your child too hard. My aspie son has always been very faddy and I worried hugely about this but when I brought it up with his psych she checked with the dietary team who said he was getting pretty much everything he needed from his limited diet, except for protein. So we just give him more of the types of protein that he likes..... Having said that, as he gets older, he's trying more things. Not always a success, but it's a step in the right direction at least. Its still quite difficult to eat out as he may order something like fish and it isn't prepared the way he's accustomed to, so that goes uneaten.... but we have our small triumphs too. Funnily enough, westie, my lad still has fairly poor skills regarding use of cutlery, simply because the foods he has eaten haven't required cutting up! But again, we're making progress...he'll get there in the end! Glad your lad's making progress too- it's funny, I remember wanting to jump for joy when my lad tried a new food (I still do!) and excitedly telling a friend about it...and they just give you a bemused grin as if to say, 'Erm, yeah, he's eating chicken fillets.....he's NINE though, what's the fuss about???' But we getcha!!!

Hear, hear, Ian!! I used to work with a little boy who was albino. I believe most people with albinism have visual problems of varying types and severity and this little chap had to wear colour- tinted glasses to help his vision. Would anybody tell him to remove his glasses because it made them uncomfortable/made it harder for others to maintain eye contact with him? No, definitely not. Your visual difficulties may be of a different kind to his, Mumble, but that doesn't make them any less....valid? Worthy? Besides which, I've never heard so much poppycock!! In what way do coloured lenses make it harder for others to maintain eye contact? I can still see someone's eyes if they have coloured/tinted specs on, I promise you. Perhaps they need their eyes checked too, if it's such a problem for them? Nor do coloured lenses make most people uncomfortable- who on earth told you that? I'm aware that I can't speak for ALL NT type people, but I really don't think most folk would have a problem. Bottom line, Mumbly- they're prescribed lenses, and were prescribed for you to try and improve a visual problem. Ergo, you need to wear them, like anyone else who is prescribed glasses. This may well be one of those instances where you simply have to say- 'Well, I'm sorry but I need these glasses, they've been prescribed to deal with my visual problem and I'm going to wear them. Deal with it!' ....maybe the last sentence could be seen as slightly inflammatory.....might be best not to add that on, right enough, but don't let such a ridiculous opinion put you off, petal!

Best of luck with this venture, Jaded. A carer's centre would be fab....we have a sensory centre here, mainly geared towards visual/hearing impaired clients, but I think it gets utilised by those with other disabilities too....... Let us know how it goes, hey?