pookie170

Well, for once, I got it, so thought, hahahah, I shall share that with my fellow staff room tea-slurpers. And it went down like a lead balloon. Blank stares all around, lots of 'Eh???'s..... .... ... .. And that was after I'd explained it, too!!!!

My youngest had eye drops at the age of 3, they were to dilate the pupils....but then again, I had taken him to get his eyes tested because of his headaches. The optician wanted to be as thorough in ruling out nasty possible causes for the headaches as he could be. (Turned out to be migraines at 3- I was speechless....for once!) I've had iodiney type drops once, and dilatingy drops another time, but they were necessary for checking out possible damage. Must admit, I get a bit uncomfy when the optician gets right up close too, but so did my Mum. She used to hold my hand at this point...she had slight tendencies towards claustrophobia, and this helped her to stay calm. Me, I'm just fretting that I might have stinky breath and gas the poor fella....or that HE might have bad breath and gas me!!!

My son's your antithesis, Chris!! Ask him what happened yesterday, his face wrinkles in concentration and he comes up with 'Ehhhhhh....uhhhhmmmmnn.......I dunno. What did I do yesterday??' And yet, he has awesome long term memory, he can remember things like the name of the lady we rented a holiday cottage from when he was 3....(3!! ) I should think the breakdown factors hugely in this gap, Nobby. Maybe you were expending so much energy just trying to cope that your brain simply couldn't manage to file things away properly at the same time?

Hey Dillyn, what the others have said regarding your relationship ending is absolutely spot on. We may well sound like boring old f**ts, but it will get better, I promise you. (Again, I'm assuming you're in your mid-late teens? Hope I'm not presuming wrongly!! ) As for friends, I also have only 3 good friends on whom I could rely for utterly anything, I believe. And I'm NT (well, probably on the more questionable end of the normality scale, heheh!) and a fairly sociable person, apparently, so there you go. What happened with your friends to cause a fall out, if you don't mind my asking? (Feel free to tell me to mind my own business!) I have been guilty of a few big mistakes throughout my life, in which I have inadvertantly hurt a friends' feelings or caused them grief in some way. I have learned many valuable lessons but lost a few friends in the process. However, I don't mourn them too much because they weren't the kind I would ever have turned to in moments of crisis....or when wanting to share triumphs, either! However, as Minerva said: Keep your chin up & concentrate on the fact that it may well be others downfalls that have caused the falling out & NOT necessarily you being Asperger's. Don't assume that it's your fault that faling-outs haave occurred. You can be wronged too, you know! Oofs, have a <'> and try to stay positive. Treat yourself to some chillout time, indulge in some favourite pastimes/movies/activities and your wounds will heal. Take care, Dillyn. Esther x

Hey, Jules. I have an aspie son who has been in mainstream and special ed (and is still in it!)- more than happy to help, if you need it. Esther

I second that!! I love my boy's unaffectedness. He's nothing like a vast swathe of youngsters I know who, while lovely in and of themselves, are a bit too worldy-wise for my liking. I can see my younger, NT son, being much more likely to follow the crowd, and I don't think I'm going to prefer that in an way!! This is something that instantly struck me. I echo the viewpoint already expressed- you've done a champion job thus far and I think it's cery brave of you to be putting your anxieties to one side in order to try and help your son develop independance. It's something many of us have struggled with (I still tail my son on his 'unaccompanied' trips to the shops... ) and its sooooo hard to step back for them. We know how pants the big wide world can be and we worry....constantly, it feels like!! But it's fab that you're looking into what's available and if he could take his sister along with him then that could be the key to getting him to give socialising a try. Yep, you will fret and sweat and pace the floor the entire time he's away, if he gives it a go, but it will help in the long run. And, it gets easier for you as time goes on as well. But as you said yourself, preparing him is the key. Could he go and visit the venue when its quiet, so it's not too unfamiliar when he goes to the club? Let him view brochures as much as he wants, if you have any, a bit like social stories....it might make it less daunting for him. Thing is, and this is what propelled me with my own ASD son, at some point, he's going to HAVE to be more independent. He can't stay with me forever and I don't want my other son to have to shoulder huge responsibility at whatever age this happens at....(longevity is not a strong point in my family, heheh!) Also, I don't want him to be any more traumatised by this than he has to be....so I need to encourage him through this now, and help him make strides so I know he'll be okay. Morbid, perhaps, but I was a teenager when my own dear Mum passed and that thought returns every now n' then..... I echo Mel's advice- get him to start being more independent at home, it will only help him in the long run. Simple chores should be manageable and you can build from there. Hope the group goes well for him- and for you!!(Deep breaths!! ) He may surprise you..... Best of luck, Esther x

I just couldn't watch all of the bl###y thing......horrendous viewing, and to personify autism in such a 'Hammer Horror' (ta, whoever used that phrase already, it fits so well here...sadly.) way is downright irresponsible, to put it mildly. MANY parents of kids with additional needs (not just autism) have run the whole gamut of emotions, embarrassment, pride, love, guilt, wistful longing for previous hopes/expectations and resentment, (towards the situation their family is in- 'Why me?' 'Why him/her?' etc) This atrocious video seems to me to have an in-built 'lock-on' targetting system for playing on those emotions..... Arrgh, I can't put it better than Badders and others, am in complete agreement that this vid is a vile, crass, vomit-inducing pile of donkey dung...... Yuk.

Hopefully it'll get sorted swiftly, Kathryn. We've had a very similar conversation with small tonight. He told my OH that 'Mrs X said she would be extremely annoyed indeed if I don't find my reading book by tomorrow....' *snif, snif*!! Big, puppy dog eyes swimming with tears, trembling lower lip (he does it incredibly well, btw!) Fairly sure he was expecting a comforting 'There, there!!' and hug from Mum who would undoubtedly sort it out. Umm, where have you been living for the past 6 years, small son? Hmm? There...there?? Are you insane?? Find the wretched book, impudent offspring!!! Seriously though, he never brought it home (OH was actually going to phone school about it tomorrow!) and he is clueless as to it's hiding place. I'm wondering if it's been left at the after school club, perhaps? Still, no way will I be forking out for a new one, he can pay that little bill out of his savings! (Evil me! But maybe he'll remember to look after it next time!)

COMMERCIALISM!!!! RAMPANT GREED!!! TOTAL COLLAPSE OF OUR SOCIAL SYSTEM!! (alright, the last one's a bit much, but I'm sure its down to moneygrabbing retailers being greedy and wanting more profits all of the time!! )

Me too, Nells!! I can't add anything to Badders' sound and sage advice, but my heart goes out to your family. Keep your chin up, <'> Esther x

Awesome news, Vicbee. May her confidence and self-belief continue to soar..........bless her!! Esther x

This was sent to me- and it made me chuckle! So thought I'd share!! Does Your Campground Have a BC? The story is told of a lady who was rather old-fashioned, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language. She and her husband were planning a week's vacation in Florida, so she wrote to a particular campground asking for a reservation. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but didn't quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. After much deliberation, she finally came up with the old-fashioned term BATHROOM COMMODE. But when she wrote that down, she still thought she was being too forward. So she started all over again and rewrote the entire letter referring to the bathroom commode merely as the BC. "Does the campground have it's own BC?" is what she actually wrote. Well, the campground owner wasn't old-fashioned at all, and when he got the letter, he just couldn't figure out what the woman was talking about. That BC business really stumped him. After worrying about it for awhile, he showed the letter to several campers, but they couldn't imagine what the lady meant either. So the campground owner, finally coming to the conclusion that the lady must be asking about he local Baptist Church, sat down and wrote the following reply: Dear Madam: I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take pleasure in informing you that a BC is located nine miles north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away, if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late. It is such a beautiful facility and the acoustics are marvelous. Even the normal delivery sounds can be heard. The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now a supper is planned to raise money to buy more seats. I would like to say it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it surely is no lack of desire on my part. As we grow old, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in cold weather. If you do decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks. Remember, this is a friendly community. Sincerely, Campground Owner

Oh, your poor girl, Bid! I'll keep sending good vibes your way, I hope all goes well and she's back on the road to recovery asap....... Kathryn's right, btw, I think you guys are quite within your rights to have your bad days, or feel down about things. Big hug, and many shiny, happy thoughts to you all, Esther x

Fab news, congratulations and well done to your lass. I hope she enjoys her course. Esther x

Hey guys, won't be around over the next fortnight as we're jetting off to the U.S. tomorrow!! I shan't sleep tonight, I'm more excited than the kids!!!! Take care all, will tell yez all about it when we come back. Esther and Co. XXXX

Read this post with interest- and am in total agreement with you all. Funnily enough, I have also complained to Auntie Beeb about the misrepresentation of Asperger Syndrome- my lad was really very worried by the coverage and asked me if it meant he might go to prison when he's an adult. So it's not just public perception we have to worry about, it's how this kind of thing might affect an Aspie's perception of themselves...... Really upset me, actually, and I didn't mince my words. I didn't sink into rudeness, but forged ahead with assertiveness. Ooh, it really grinds my gears!!!

I'm not sure what you're studying right now, but I do know that some jobs (graphic design, for example), or rather the availability of jobs in certain fields, tend to be more concentrated in areas like cities. It might be an idea to think about what jobs you will be qualified to do once you graduate, and then have a look at the demographics....that may enable you to think about areas you could might move to after Uni? Also, would you consider assisted living, for the first wee while on your own in the big bad world? If so, start researching possible complexes/housing associations etc, perhaps the NAS could help you locate possible housing too? This is a bit like us parents researching possible school placements for our kids, if you go armed with info and suggestions, it can get things moving a bit more quickly. Look at it as a transitional thing, it might make such a step harder to swallow. I admire your strength and courage, as well as the fact that you're swallowing your pride and are trying to be realistic about your options and capabilities. Remember that EVERYONE takes little steps to gain full independence. Perhaps it's not quite of the same magnitude as your situation, but how many young NT adults move out but still get help from family with washing, shopping, bill paying and such, until they're clued up and prepared to take full responsibility for independence? I know I had lots of support. Yours may be of a different nature, but a rose is a rose is a rose, as they say....... One last thing, RE your medication- many pharmacies run a 'daily dose' delivery service of prescription meds. Meds are delivered in trays or boxes, with enough little compartments for every day of the week, and maybe 4 time slots for each day, a bit like an ice cube tray. Prescriptions are collected from your doctor by the pharmacy, who fill it out then deliver it to you, saving you lots of hassle and cutting down on the likliehood of forgetting to collect or being unable to collect them yourself. It really helped me when my folks were ill, as it removed a lot of confusion- y'know, 'How many of these pills should he take each day?' ' When does he get these ones?' and my personal best, 'Oh, poo, I dropped them and they all look the same....which one is which?' Again, your doctor should assist you in getting this set up..... Hope that's useful, petal! Esther x

There was an incident near us a while back, of a horse suffering a mutilation due to a 'big cat' attack. There have long been rumours of big cats living wild in Scotland, with speculation that they may have escaped from private collections (before such things became illegal) and have been breeding in low numbers ever since.... Honestly, there have been many such sightings over the years........it's possible, I suppose!

Hey, Mumble, it's a good thing that you're thinking ahead about this, as it's the key to getting things put in place in order to help you once you're through with Uni...... The support you're currently receiving sounds good, and in my opinion, the people who are helping you right now may be the ones who can assist in setting up your future support network. It sounds like you're going to need social work and occupational therapy involvement, who should hopefully manage to arrange for community nurses to get involved. I'm not sure, but with the level of support you need, you might even get a home help, to assist with things like housework....though that one might be a bit of a long shot, admittedly. Also, don't forget that other agencies such as Barnardo's and the like may be able to assist with befrienders who could help you do things like shopping. Contacting these organisations may be down to you, but if you bring up the possibility then maybe your support team could look into it?? My advice would be to bring up your concerns about transition at you r next review, or could you request a meeting in order to discuss it, even? These people CAN help you with this, and if there are professionals like doctors already supporting you then I should think they'd be anxious to get your future support package worked out in advance to. Good luck , Mumble. Esther x

Um, yet another post about Swine flu, I'm afraid!!! We're due to jet off stateside on August 1st (YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!Cant wait Cant wait Cant wait!!!!) but my friend mentioned something the other day that worried me, just a tad.. Will we be screened for Swine flu when we reach our destination? What do they do if one of us is 'Unclean'??? Will they ship us back?Put us in stocks? Quarantine us like E.T.??? Anyone know anything about this? I can't find much that's definitive online....help!! Wannawanna go!!! (Edited for typos!!)

Ooh, that takes me back......my AS son definitely has nightmares, they sound exceptionally biazarre to me, no wonder he gets disoriented and such! And he used to have night terrors, which was horrendous..... Thing is, he's usually still awake at midnight and he's up before 6 am, having wakened a few times in the night.......I can't understand how he isn't shattered! It's going to make our family hotel room an interesting experience, I think!!!

Y'know, my brother had to pass a handwashing exam when he was training to be a nurse. I laughed my socks off, but on reflection it's essential I suppose.

Sounds like fun, Tally! Is this experience a present from someone else or yourself? (Can I come, too??? ) Esther x

Might I suggest you try threading activities? Big chunky beads with large holes and a shoelace, not the wee fiddly ones. (That would frustrate me, let alone a 3 year old!!) Also, give her a pile of mags and safety scissors and let her hack away at them to her hearts' content.(this is fab coming up to birthdays and Christmas, they chop out things they would like and you can stick them onto a stocking made of card!!) And as much playdough or modelling clay as you can stomach, all these things are excellent for building up the muscles in the hands and fingers. (I hope I'm not coming across as condescending here??? ) The fine motor thing and the awkwardness of being left-handed will pass, neither of my sons had terribly good FM skills for ages, and my youngest is a leftie too....something that seems to impress his friends. My eldest in particular, had dreadful motor skills, but he got there in the end. One thing my youngest came up with was after we got an alphabet line and stuck it on the wall in his room. He made a game where either he or I would point to a random letter and the other person had to say which letter it was. He loved it when I got it wrong and he could correct me! But you could modify that too, to maybe 5 letters at a time as she learns new ones? That works with a number line as well. I suppose anything goes, as long as it's fun, hey? Keep us posted on how she's getting on, she sounds like a real wee character (and I mean that in a nice way!) Esther x

Fab news, Hev and Steve, good luck! Estherx