bramblebrae

Hope it all went well today:) Lorraine

Great link thanks Brook, the other papers which I found under the link to autism papers are really good to. Lorraine

Very nicely said, I think handing your poem out instead of the nas asd cards might make people think about it even more. Thanks for sharing it with us. Lorraine

Singing Kettle - Favourites vol1 it's a tape does that count I keep removing it from my car but someone keeps sneaking it back in which would be okay if that someone would join in the actions as we're driving along - I like to entertain the commuters in the morning school run CD-Fleetwood Mac- Greatest Hits - good to wiggle at whilst washing the dishes. Lorraine

I see the job had a supervisory capacity in that you had to manage technicians would taking a step back and working as a technician within industry maybe open the door to promotion for the future into the job you really want. Just a thought. good luck with it Lorraine

No probs Kirstie, it's good to find out what other people have experienced as I'm starting to think it's just something that's not regulated up here. I've decided to take the bull by the horns and ask my sons school specifically who is now in charge of co ordinating his additional support needs and that they inform me in advance of any changes in the future. I am presuming its the newly appointed infant DH as when I asked her about who was taking him for his reading, as he gets this separate from class cause he's so super at it(proud mum ), she said she was in the middle of sorting out the extra staff times and she had his name on a list to allocate someone to him for reading. Not to happy there isn't someone already allocated though - they seem to be letting his reading drift which I wouldn't mind so much if they were concentrating on his writing which is behind but I don't think they've been doing that much to encourage either. anyway I digress, again thanks to everyone for your information take care Lorraine

Hi, as posted above we saw the school doc today she is a bit dubious whether he needs OT or not and thinks it may just be his ASD not actual motor coordination. She said she would refer him to get another assessment anyway. I discussed his eating again and his sometimes memory lapses or sometimes reluctance to deal with needing number 2's and occasionally number 1's and the ensuing mess - she said she would refer him back to the clinical psychologist as she might be able to help with these issues. So overall quite productive, I mentioned I thought it was a sensory thing with smell which affected his eating and his refusal to try new foods but she just said the clinical psych should help didn't mention OT being of any use with that so I'll have to wait til assessment and ask OT directly whether they do SI therapy. Quite pleased though with results. Stephen was completely wild as he usual is when we see her, we always see her in the parents room which is small and cluttered and has a piano which Stephen won't leave alone, it really is completely inappropriate place to assess any child let alone one on the spectrum. She even had to examine his tummy with him lying on the floor and her kneeling as there is nowhere else. Whenever I've seen him in school he is always really wild and dosen't seem to be able to listen for more than 2 seconds but the school always report he has been good in class and doing his work quite well. Maybe it's cause I'm there but I never really see such wild behaviour at home even when he was hyper after school last week it wasn't quite so extreme as today. As usual what I see and what the school say seem complete different!! anyway I'm for now with referrals though I've no idea how long they'll take to get. Lorraine

Hi Jannyx and Hev, I hope things are going better for you both now. Thinking of you. Take Care Lorraine

It's interesting to hear others points of view on all these subjects we are a very diverse bunch . One point I'd like to make is even though a child or an adult for that is polite and well mannered to his elders and seems on the surface a little angel does not make it so. For example The Dursleys Harry's guardians in the Harry Potter novels and films would be thought of as a nice middle class family and their son as a very respectful child to his elders by the wider community. Would you think of them as 'nice' people though, would you want to be friends with them? I don't care how much money someone has, where the live or how eloquently they speak you have to look into someones soul to see the goodness thats there everything else is immaterial. Even the perceived as lazy bone idle people who live off benefits for no apparent reason etc etc if you lived in there shoes for long enough I'm sure there would be reasons behind their behaviour just as we look for reasons behind our kids sometimes less than obvious behaviors, if that person isn't harming anyone else physically or emotionally then good luck to him. just my 2 pence worth take care Lorraine

thanks Do you know if every school should have one?

thanks guys, think I'll be gone awhile reading the above, there is a load of information and furthur links leading on from there- great link thanks again Lorraine

title kinda says it all....I've wondered for quite along time really about SENCO's I've only ever heard of them on the www here mainly . My sons school is fairly large but obviusly in scotland and I've never heard mention of a SENCO is there a scottish equivalent in any schools here? My sons deputy head of infants has always handled meetings with me and the writing of his IEP. Today we got a newsletter saying they had changed the deputies jobs and now the infant deputy we've dealt with for past 3 yrs will be the senior deputy and the 'new' senior deputy,started one month before end of last term, will take the juniors. No one has told me diddly squat. Earlier in the week I queried why after only 2 days of school did my son have a different teacher to find out that his main class teacher has to do something for 2 days a week so another teacher will fill in for 2 days -mmh job share maybe, I wondered, seemed an odd way to describe the situation though - I wasn't happy but thought I'd leave it til his review meeting to complain over the fact his class is the one being mucked about yet again. Today in same newsletter discovered his new teacher is a probationary teacher and that is why she has the 2 days off a week. I just wish they would be more forthcoming with their information I asked before the end of term about his teacher for this year and they said she was new but they didn't say 'new,new' IFYSWIM! I'm gonna think good thoughts and try hard to imagine that nowadays they get alot of information regarding SEN including the spectrum on their teacher training courses so it's actually a bonus that she has no experience though I'm sure she has lots of knowledge. OMG side winding tangents I've gone off on one again again! sorry folks take care Lorraine

I'm seeing the school doctor on monday to ask her to refer Stephen back to OT. He was seen by OT during his diagnosis and shortly after and was discharged. Now he's 7 and cannot ride bike with stablisers and falls off scooter too. He can climb around on anything though except balancing things. I never knew OT dealt with sensory problems so this topic has been of great interest to me and I just hope OT here does SI too as I think Stephen has a problem with his sense of smell and it is really hampering his diet. He still has problems with pencil control etc too which they said would get better over time but I can't see it yet at least. Just keeping my fingers crossed the doc does the referral and the waiting time isn't to long and that they can do something to help! I'll let you know what happens - I've no idea whether the service is good bad or stretched here at all. Lorraine ps on referals I was told by an OT I know and had discussed Stephen with her that I was best to get the referal through the school doctor or I think shes sometimes called community paed, if your child is not at school yet you should still be able to get assessed by one I'd hope. Their service is based at our main hospital and I contacted them directly there as school took months to arrange the appointment with her (I've been trying to get one since easter and thats just for a referal onwards!) She says she has to assess Stephen neurologically before she can refer him - I'm not quite sure what she means by that! Anyway I was told this was the road to go down because the GP's can't or won't refer not sure which.

In the past my sons worst behaviour has been at school but he's just been back to school for 3 days and apparently he's being very good there which is surprising because at home (well actually at my folks house but we are always there!) he's being completely hyper and will not listen to anyone. I think all the new staff at school and new class etc are all a bit bewildering jsut now and once he gets his bearings things will probably revert back to our 'norm' I'll have to wait and see. I remember in Primary one at his first review meeting just after the october holidays he got(much to my surprise) a glowing report from school on his behaviour and the next week all hell broke loose with him at school and they didn't know what hit them!

Hope the meeting goes well and you get some answers. Take Care Lorraine

<'> <'> <'> <'> I'm really upset for you, why the heck are SS there if not to help you at points like this. I remember way back phoning SS cause I was really depressed and S was just a baby and I'd not been in this house for long with it's huge garden and I really couldn't cope with looking after him and the garden and well I was depressed so finding it pretty hard to cope at all and then I got a legal type letter about getting chucked out if I didn't look after said garden- that tipped me over so I phoned them anyway and cried down phone at wifie who at the very least told me I should come in to their drop in sessions and talk to an SS advisor face to face to see if they could help. Surely this guy on the end of the phone could have directed you to somewhere that could help if he truely couldn't(I'm not saying he's right - I would think he's wrong actually- what criteria for heavens sake? AS is a disability what more do they need?) - it makes me mad he just basically left another human being so upset like that without trying to help at all. Sorry what I actually came on to say was, and you may have already been here and tried this but if I were in your situation as far as I understand what your situation is, IYSWIM, I would get appointment with GP and explain everything and refuse to leave basically til she referred me to the disabilities team with a request for an emergency appointment with them. We had to wait 2 years for an actual assessment from SS but they did send a 'backup' worker (not quite sure what that means?!) out to see me fairly quickly initially. Hopefully they can do something like that for you. Or if they really do have some errorneous criteria that says they can't help hopefully the GP can tell you who can. I hope you and Steven have a better day today. take care Lorraine

I can't think of any right now but maybe someone else can? Are there any kids fairytales nursery rhyms(sp?) or metaphors that would sound bad on the subject of eating in public? or maybe sometime when he was eating a fly or something landed on his food - mmh - though he will eat outside in some circumstances- Is it alwasy when someone is walking and eating cause I remember an advert of a bloke walking into a lamppost cause he was busy doing something else can't remeber if it was eating or reading though! Also if you walk and eat it can get a bit messy - just some thoughts that can maybe help ask him more specfic questions - though I know that isn't easy. Anyway I hope you can find an answer. take care Lorraine

Hi it's a while off our reapplying date for DLA but for some reason , oh insomnia thats probably it lol, I've been sitting reading through the pinned DLA advice and a few worries I've had over the thought of reapplying come to mind. Basically when I applied at first DS 7yo was 4.5yo and had just been formally diagnosed since then I've learnt some things through the NAS 'earlybird' course and reading the net etc so have adjusted our lives basically so that the tantrums and difficult behaviours are much less. things like I avoid shops especailly big ones and get online home deliveries and I stopped work shortly after getting the DLA which helps in that I do the house work gardening and the rest when he's at school and he basically gets all my time from leaving school til bed without me being distracted and ratty which keeps him calm and probably a million other little things which have improved his behaviour no end not to mention the one to one support at school now and social group. So looking at the form now there are definetly still clear difficulties I can put in it but some areas I can't really say what he'd be like now as we never do them it's the same as transport really cause we've always had the car and he's only been on a bus like twice both times a quiet bus thankfully and he always just sits bewilldered at new 'events' it's once he gets more comfortable in a place thats not placing demands,(anywhere that does place demands on him is difficult straight off I mean) on him that he gets adventourous and tries to do inappropriate things so long term transport , ie always having to use the bus, I can't really say what he'd be like honestly. He was awarded high rate care the first time , it said they would send me forms to reaplly for lower mobility when he turned 5 but they never did and tbh I was surprised at getting high rate care and glad and didn't want to lose it so never did reapply for the lower mobility. Thing is I'm certain he will (after appeal at least!) get lower mobility I do wonder if it should be high as I'm seeing more and more kids his age and younger in this area at least making their own way to school and the shops etc and I'd never dream of letting him do that, it just wouldn't be safe for him or others if their was some kind of conflict arose. Anway thats besides the point I'm jsut worried that under the care sections of the form it will look obscured from the way things would be without all the help he is getting in the form of not being put in stressful situations so behaviours less than what they would be without these arrangements, oh I'm talking in riddles, I hope someone can see what I mean as I'm not so good at explaining and if I try any furthur this will get even longer - sorry btw! Oh and don't get me wrong I'm glad of these improvements and i hope long term he will learn to cope with things or maybe I'm making it worse for later years by just hiding him from some of these situations but I think at this age he has enough to deal with coping with mainstream school. anwyay i digress again! what has peoples experience been of reapplying is basically what I wondered did they take into account the interventions and /or medications that have helped and consider how it would be otherwise. I just think if we lost the care DLA or got reduced to lower. Finacially I would have to go to work full time which could take awhile to get we'd have to do things the 'cheap' way sell the car etc and our lives would be in turmoil then eventually get a job get totally stressed then S would get totally stressed regress etc and then probably have to reapply for DLA where we'd probably then get award and then go through it all over again how ever many yrs later. I do feel guilt over not working, and i know many people cope with work and bringing up their kids I just get really easily stressed and have had problems in the past, before I had S, with anxiety and stress. Basically when I've got a job I'm always at the doctor ill with something and when not working for last 2 yrs or so I've been to doctor for me three times with tonsilitis which I always get every year anyway. The thought of having to work again and deal with people at work and S at home with worsening behaviours most probably and sort out childcare as well, just makes me feel ill even now and we're so far off from reapplying, nearly a year away, and it's already making me anxious. I am trying to learn web design and other online stuff so I could possible work from home which I'd love but it's slow going and I don't know how feasible it is really in terms of supporting us finacially and how much time I could commit to it as I've only got from 9.15am to 3pm to do anything and everything that needs done around here once S is home I just about manage to make our dinner with him nattering full pelt next to me about some random topic, it really drives me to distraction, he does now go and play alone sometimes and I'll start to do something like iron or that and next thing I know he's back wondering around me an di jsut get so irritated at that point I end up shouting at him to shut up which I know i really shouldn't do and feel really guilty about so basically I do n't start trying to do anything when he is at home except maybe browse the web and write short posts, I save the long ones for these times In the hols I obviously have to work around him but I did realise a few weeks in I was really shouting at him much more and was generally very narky and totally knackered. I'm jsut gonna hit send now cause you won't believe this I deleted have this post already casue I'd written so much random ramblings and now I've done it again so to avoid a repeat that could get even longer I'll just go. I'm feeling kinda like this don;t know why relief from first day back at school being over and having gone well maybe i've been completely uptight about it and I got another yr older yesterday too:( and i've had a midori and lemonade(pressie) I'm going go go go lorraine

My son is still very picky eater - I've a list of food he'll eat on blog but your question reminded me that I had tried this with 10mth old baby food when he was about 4.5 but he refused that too - it might still have been too lumpy for him..he dosen't seem to have to much bother about textures though as he eats porridge and this is pretty lumpy won't go near anything really greasy like butter or chips so it could be a texture thing but against smooth or slipperyness(if thats a word lol) it's more smells and just being scared of any new foods. I've jsut discovered that even though he seemed to eat any sweet going he dosen't like caramel in anything I hadn't noticed this before-mmh thats sticky and smooth? I try not to get to worked up over it as I have been told kids 'like' him usually start to grow out of it by the teen years. I just wish I could find one veg he'd eat. hope it works out for you with the baby food Lorraine

I really don't know/understand what is classed as a stim or not..things S does which might be and any input on whether they are not would be greatly welcomed are:- sucking thumb (at night or when tired or when watching tv- not when excited) walking all over room and walking on toes when excitedly talking at us about anything and everthing he's interested in(he was in splints which had stopped the toe walking part this but they broke a few weeks ago and we have been waiting for stability boots which we'll get on on friday which may reduce the toe walking again- I had thought the toe walking had stopped but 2 weeks out of splints it's back as bad as ever) walking on toes and hopping from foot to foot when needing the toilet (he often waits that long he has an accident but it is a good alert to us to remind him to go - though he refuses often and whatever he's focused on needs removed til he goes) flaps arms a bit when really excited but I just thought it 'normal' for being so excited at 7yo (is it?) he reads anything that comes to hand to calm himself down when upset(is that?) Oh I'm confused I will need to watch more carefully him and nt kids I'm totally unobservant and don't really know what 'normal' is or isn't IYSWIM! take care Lorraine

I could swear ( but I won't) I put a reply(long one as usual!) here yesterday as I distinctly remeber asking for a cake I musta forgot to send it Anyway much briefer version sums it up Way to go Robert ps honest can I have a cake it's me b'day today and I'm feelin old glad to hear things are looking up and he's happier with school:) Lorraine

Hi, I'm confused, apologises if I upset your DH I'm sure he's jsut rightly fed up with the whole LEA and rightly so, but surely the waste of time would be if you didn't send it. You must have gone to alot of time and trouble to write the letter, it sounds really professional and logical to me btw, and it's done now. What's the harm in posting it? I hope you do send it and I hope get positive results soon. take care Lorraine

Hi I'd say depending on age and the rest restrictions are a good thing , heck I wish someone would give me some and get me off this thing I'm thirtysomething +1 today and coud do with an automatic off switch Could you maybe give him some control by letting him 'earn' more online time for doing chores or something then he may feel more involved in the decsion and less frustrated at turn off time. Just a thought but you know your child best and can see the results these games are having on him so I wouldn't feel bad about restricting them, I'm sure he'll get used to it in time perhaps in the meantime you could help him find a more suitable game he'd like. Depending on age disney's tootown is a game for kids where the worst violence is splatting a 'baddie' with a huge birthday cake - you have to use 'gags' to send them off but they don't actually die or anything and they are robots and toon type characters. The chat filter for talking to others is very good and can be limited to set phrases disney gives unless parents override it with their password. One drawback it is an online roleplaying game and could get addictive if he gets into it-you have to build your character up and can get a good feeling of accomplishment as it takes time and perseverance to do. I'd heard it was good to learn social rules because of set phrases and that so joined to let my son play, a few years back now - he wasn't very interested as he was still a bit young but I ended up hooked on it for 8 months until I found a more grown up version of MMORPG which I have seen kids as a young as 9 playing but I wouldn't recommend for anyone under 16 yo. There are quite alot of adults playing it but as I said you can limit the chat to kid friendly phrases only or if an actual child they know in real life is playing you can give them a code to just let them talk to you. My niece liked it she was 8 at the time and we could play together online but unfortunately her computer was very slow and she got to frustrated with load times and lag etc.You can get a weeks free trial and test it to see how both you feel about it - that's the other downside it is a paid by subscription game I wasted some money taking it for a year and then 'growing' out of it after 8mths - they made it even younger by adding go-karting style game which I hate driving games and after last years summer holidays I just lost interest. I'm sure there is something out there you can find and agree on - as for the Oood yuck they really gave me the creeps too though the interactive games especially the ones where you had to follow a trail across various 'made-up' websites on the doc who bbc sight were good fun. Another good sight for games aimed at kids of various ages is legos online site - you can get your own club page which can be cutomised and stuff on there too. S (7yo) really likes going onto lego though he can't play some of the games because he's not that hand eye coordinated..he is 7yo btw. take care Lorraine

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> I wrote a rant about people treating others this way but I had to delete it, it wouldn't of helped you just now. Just to say I've been where you are...you'll get through it honestly you will. I hope your family are with you now, let all the emotions out, even if you want time on your own having them in the next room will help I'd think. And unless it helps take your mind of stuff for a short time to heck with the hoovering okay, the dust aint going anywhere. Look after yourself. thinking of you Lorraine

Hands up I am a hermit except for going to my folks house and occasionally my sisters. I really don't mind being a hermit, I always come home feeling slightly sick and have the need to go nowhere if at all possible after social conversations, I'm always a bit worried about what I said or didn't say. With my folks it's ok they just have to put up with me and vice versa I feel very secure with them and know they aren't going to be saying 'evilness' about me behind my back. My dad just says it to my face on certain subjects but I choose to ignore this - now he has a huge belly too I can get my own back lol! Anyway I found going on nightclasses which I did when S was a baby for almost 3yrs pretty easy it was a place I was meant to be, I didn't mind speaking up as I have done alot of studying before and was good at the subjects I did - it's the one area I actually have confidence in - if I could get perpetual grants I'd be a prepetual student. Thing is I can't even be bothered doing classes anymore now cause I'm hooked on this blinking computer though I am doing online free HTML courses etc currently. I hope you have a good laugh on your new course and get some time to feel like your old (young ) self again. good luck Lorraine