bramblebrae

My S went from eating everything to being very picky at about age 2.5 i think. I spent couple of years trying and being told stuff like he'll eat after 4 days I'm sure by the dopey Health visitor this was 10 mins after she tested him at age 4 with a new ASD check list they had been given for 2 yr olds and said he did fine there this was like one week after a clinical psych finally diagnosed him after observing him over a year in various situations (oh side stepped into HV rant lol) Anyway we have gone through a few foods the old ones being chucked aside as the new ones come in. It went from character pasta shapes with no sauce to the sausages in character pasta shapes with no sauce but no pasta either to the point where once he did actually eat both with sauce cause we were at a relatives who didn't know and served him like that ..I was absolutely gobsmacked but after this he refused it entirely....then for a couple o months it was porridge then we went to kfc for the first time and chicken pops only from kfc or porridge then at last i found a store bought chicken pop that was acceptable and this has now lasted for ages dinner is porridge at grannies or chicken pops at home..nothing else can be on the plate or it becomes a projectile aimed at me also double chicken pops that have stuck together are rejected along with any he feels are disformed in any way. For lunch at school last year when he eventually got support so he was safe to stay for lunch I eventually got these cheese dippers with bacon bits he loved but grrh they've stopped making them so he takes the plain cheese dippers but only eat the bread sticks and one dip of cheese if lucky. He won't eat chips won't eat a sandwich only dry bread or pancake...it really can drive you mad but I suppose I've kinda given up I do worry what will happen if the foods I get just now change or the manufacturer stops selling them. He would just live on pringles if I let him even with these others foods his one saving grace is he will have fresh orange juice and raisins or yogurt covered fruit flakes (strawberry only- I buy them 20 packs at a time cause the shop is sold out often-they'll probably disappear soon too) School think he will eat with the rest of the children so persuaded me to send him to dinners twice a week ...he eats 2 crackers a tiny pack of raisins and milk and orange juice ..comes out and raids my mums sweetie basket. Arguments ensue over said basket.. He too is a normal weight etc and growing ok so basically health profs will not listen ... if I could get him to eat one vegetable I really would be fine with it. His favoruite colour is green,he's quite obsessed by it he wants everything to be green-he was moaning at me cause I have green eyes and his are blue and it wasn't fair cause he should have green lol but he just won't touch the greens food wise. I have been told by a couple o folk whose AS/ASD kids were the same with food that they started to 'grow' out of it in their teens ..so I live in hope but I've got a wee while to wait he'll be 7 next month. Lorraine

Has your school or yourself got access to an autistic outreach service or I think sometimes schools can liasie(sp ?) with staff from local SN schools to get their expertise in fields like autism, they should listen to the parents but seldom do IMHO. They were a real life saver for us when my son had similar incidents at the end of P1 (age5-6). Only thing I found was I had to inform them of what was going on at school because the school hadn't bothered and thought his actions had nothing to do with his ASD. Once the AO teacher knew she 'educated' them otherwise...and they've given my son help now in form of social skills groups weekly...though I have still had more minor incidents this year like sanctioning him for destroying his work when the reason he destroyed it was because it wasn't 'perfect' in his eyes not for the sake of it!! Basically he had already sanctioned himself I don't know how they can fail to see this one! Fed up trying to 'teach' them ..they never listen to me and I always have to get the AOT to persuade them otherwise. We'll get there one day probably just in time for secondary school hope you get some support at school soon take care Lorraine

On the issue of race I believe I've read in the past ASD has no social racial ethnic predujidice ie anyone anywhere could have ASD. Personally there was a south american family on the 'earlybird' course I attended..there was a tv program about an Indian boy. However I get google alerts to anything with specific ASD words in it and I regularly get a link to a site called monsters and something I think it's american and prints journalist type articles - not sure on the authenticity of them but there was a series of articles they did where they looked into amish(sp?) communities in America and found a 'lack' of children with ASD .I think there was only one child with an ASD who was adopted into the community....they discussed stuff such as the fact they are anti any vaccinating..amongst other differences in the way they lived compared to modern society. It was very interesting I wish I could remember the web address I'll post it next time I see an article from them if thats allowed? Lorraine

Hi just a tip for anyone going to apply or even for tribunals is (and this may just be me that didn't think of it at the time cause I was dolly dimple) but when your filling in number of times questions you have to answer how much help they need throughout the whole day even whilst at school or in the care of others ie when I first put in how many times he needed help with communicating I had like 4 times a day I think cause basically we were (still are a bit) hermits and quite isolated so when with me only 4 times was about right but when the carer centre's helper pointed out to me to fill it in from a 24/7 view point ie help given at school when at grans etc etc I think I estimated the number to be something like 30 times a day (can't remember exactly but those figures compare roughly I think) I believe if she hadn't told me to do this which I used to correct the whole form our result would have been drastically different. Maybe it was just me though and everyone else realises this on their own Good luck Lorraine

Hi Lauren, I've just started coming on to this board more regularly so I hope you don't mind me sticking me oar in. I'm sorry to hear your news thats really awful for you all. I've not tried for a statement or records of needs or whatever they are calling it now up here north of the borders(yet-things are ok at the moment) but I'd be thinking along the lines of an appeal in the fact that they are obviously NOT meeting his needs. They aren't even doing what they are saying they will let alone adding any other help to improve his overall education. I have read somewhere that alot are turned down only to be appealed and won don't get too squished down by there officious rubbish you know when your right and the support your son is getting just isn't up to the job - hang in there - from what I've read over the last few weeks here there are alot of people who have been done this same path (do some LEA's just say NO as a standard reply??-it's starting to appear so )- you've a tonne of support waiting here for you - just go for it good luck ((((hugs)))) Lorraine

blimey thats the best example I've seen of the Cat calling the kettle black!! Did you manage to persuade them it was actually their fault in the end?? Lorraine

I think I'd go straight to the LEA taking someone from the outreach team with me if they'd be willing - this school has acted appallingly (have to learn to spell that word I think I'll be using it alot!) I can't believe anyone would give a child an exclusion for them being able to leave school grounds when they have SEN actually even an NT child at the age of 8 being able to just walk out of school is the schools fault I would feel. It's really twisted logic I think the school staff must be not taking your sons additional support needs into account at all. Honestly I feel livid for you. I hope you and your son get some justice for this and maybe get the school to admit they need and accept outside help from the outreach team cause they obviously sorely need it. As for your daughter being asked to stay home verbally like that is an unofficial exclusion I would think - I'm not sure but I would think you yourselves could get into trouble for just keeping her off - if you agreed with it and thought it would be good for her I would still get it in writing that it is at their request and let them take the fall out but from what I've read you don't agree with them rightfully so in which case I would still ask them to put it in writing then copy that letter everywhere and anywhere I could along with a letter stating the rest of the #### this school has put you through. Then I'd put her to school. Could she just be a bit bored? Maybe the work isn't at a high enough standard for her intelligence. Has the school even considered this? I've never heard anything like it stay home to catch up on sleep - my sons school used to complain constantly that he'd been a bit sleepy and maybe thats why such and such a behaviour occured err yeah he's got an ASD and is hard to get to bed and we are both night owls but a year on with one to one support and social skills help from the outreach team he is worse at going to bed and more tired if anything and said behaviours are few and far between! You are in my honest opinion completely in the right over both these matters and I hope you get someone to stand up and take this school to task officially over your families treament plz let us know what happens take care Lorraine ps just noticed the bit about another child escaping isn't their some outside agency who checks on the fitness of all places caring for children you know like the people who assess if a child minder is fit or not -do they check schools too? hopefully someone knows cause I think I would go to them at some point and express my concerns.

I'm confused it dosen't make any sense that there is no right to appeal if they don't alter statement - for instance say a child has statement and parents school everyone is happy with it and its set in motion so to speak then 1 year on for whatever reasons said childs needs are far greater at end of the year - can the lea just leave statement as is and not provide the obviously much needed higher resourced statement - surely if this were to happen the parents or school even can go to somewhere other than the LEA to appeal - oh that is where whole new application would come in maybe I just realised but still if everyone can see its needed having to reapply is just a waste of everyones time and money not to mention the child going without the adequate support- thats an appauling(sp?) situation. I hope the school or someone can make the LEA see sense and not put you through the whole statementing thing again! good luck Lorraine

thanks that will help me compare some stuff at least ill know what age group yr im looking at now I presumed YR2 =P2 before now ..oops thanks Lorraine

Congratulations..you can get carers allowance from middle care rate upwards you have to be earning less than a certain amount its around 80 pounds a week(the earnings limit that is ) but allowances can be made to earnings for certain things which will bring down the rated income also tax credits or income support get an additional disabled child element if DLA is recieved and if higher care you get a higher amount called severe disabled child element or something similar..not good on names but im sure the facts are correct. you can't get carers allowance if you are a full time student I believe which is a bit sad of the government but maybe they get other types of extra allowance in with grants if they still exisit or even higher loans not sure on this though. hope the DLA makes life that bit easier for you and your family it has mine(well the 2 of us but its still a family - I feel more like an old married couple the way we nark at each other lol) Lorraine

this may be the entirely wrong thing to do but i think id give in and say no school tomorrow and get him straight to gp in the morning though its 2am now this isnt much use. I would think he needs referred to councellor is it camhs i think who can maybe help him sort out what is causing his anxiety about school and also back you up in case school cause trouble at him being off. i have no experience of this I've not had very big meltdowns yet my son is only just coming up for 7yrs old though when he has lashed out at me and I know things are getting really out of hand I just back off physically if hes not in danger and try to talk really calmly I dont, well i don't think you can, discuss the problem until a state of calmness is reached. I'm sure your doing the right thing as it is. It's just not in your power to remove his anxiety about school other than saying he can stay home sick for the one day maybe get him to agree to talk to gp about it all at the time. its just what i feel is what i would do in the situation you have described. It must be very worrying for you and scary I hope things get better soon..let us know how it goes take care Lorraine

sorry i dont know, would be interested to find out though so Ill keep an eye on this thread, hopefully someone will know and i just wanted to say it isn't in caps lock its just big and though i found it jumped off the page at me too I realise some folk might need their fonts big to see it themselves so i don't mind either way Lorraine

Hi there, this probably isn't going to help but I'll add my two pence anyway. I am similar to the way you describe your moods except i wish i had a lack of apetitie I'm the opposite I eat for comfort or when hapy nothing but absolute disgust or an upset tum stops me from eating alas:( Anyway I have been signed off by the doc once for anxiety and a few times for stress. I am totally unmotivated during daytimes and then feel much better later in the day. Some days I love where i could run a marathon I feel super alive and very upbeat but they are so few and far between I jut wish i could get more days like this. Now the thing with the social gatherings etc is I get anxious before meeting others on a purely social occasion but then once i get there I get verbal diarrohea and get along fine with everyone and talk way too much...thing is though fine at the time it's the aftermath that gets me for days maybe weeks months or if really eventful sometimes years I go over and over things i have said and grill myself " why on earth did I say that?" and " I wonder what they thought when i did that?" and also " why did they say that?" "why did so and so look at me that way?" It drives me absoluelty mad. Usually non social things I'm fine at like when I went to night classes a few years ago because it was mainly sitting listening to lecturer I was fine but they little chats at break time once I got to know people more sometimes came back to me later and made me anxious. Anyway I realise now being older that truly I'm not that fussed about going out and stuff and I try and avoid anything social like that at all..I am beginning to feel down about some things cause I have to go to meetings at school about my son and they replay on me and also the family support worker makes me very nervous and my son (thankfully for him) is beginning to be invited to other kids houses and I end up chatting to their parents and sometimes I just witter on and on and they must wonder what on earth I'm on and then afterwards I really h8 myself for doing that - I mean Im supposed to be fairly intelligent and I say some of the dumbest things ever anyway avoidance on the most part has made my life easier and I was wondering although you feel very social (my son has ASD and wants/tries to be very social but he wants everyone to follow his rules and the other kids don't like that much) do you get anxious about how it has gone afterwards? Though I don't know what this means..I did go to councelling yrs ago and I was very anxious about planes flying over our house and I told him about ...actually I can't remeber what i told him some of the stuff above i guess about reliving conversations and worrying about them and that and he said I should tell my GP but I'm not sure what he was hinting at and that was just at the time my son was (surprisingly to me I didn't have a clue) sent for assessment on ASD by nursery so I've only really been concentrating on him. I was on prozac for awhile after my son was officially diagnosed not just becuase of that but we'd been through alot since he was born but then my niece died and I just stopped taking the pills as I felt like I couldn't feel anything trouble is I still don't really feel anything unless I play through the whole few dyas which lead up to her dying I do think it will come back and hit me later and I kinda feel quilty for not feeling more now it's been over 2 years now and I'm still waiting for the grief to hit me as when my friend died when we were 14 it wasn't until I was at uni and about 18 that I really greived properly for him at all..uptil then i was very angry with him and wondered what life wouldv'e be like if he hadn't died ..I have nothing to be angry with my niece for she was a truly wonderful child and only 10yrs old and I got on really well with her and thought of her more as a friend than anything but she couldn't help getting ill at all as opposed to having an accident (which wasn't my school friends fault either it just took me years to realise it) I kinda blame the doctors for not knowing how ill my niece was and doing soemthing sooner and I haven't been to the docs myself since except for antibiotics for my frequent winter tonsillitis and then i see a nurse practioner not actual gp...I do think i should go an tell them all this but it takes so long and they have so little time and i realy don't think they'll do anything much anyway...maybe get referal for councelor again but then I can come on here instead its the same thing almost see I witter on when i type too but this way I don't feel so anxious about it cause I can't see anyones funny looks(imagined or real Im not sure) and get paranoid anyway it helps to type things out I often type loads and delete most of it by the end but it helps me sort through things so it's all good either way Lorraine(im gonna press send now if i re read it ill delete so fogive all the typos and the long off the tangent bitsplz)

Hi my son has problems with PE and some new exercise class the whole school do together. However the school says he is taking part in them alot more as he used to sit out. They say he would sit out and watch how to do stuff then when ready he joined in and enjoyed it. For awhile I thought they were right cause he'd not complained about it for so long but just before they broke up for the hols whenever he complained about going to school, as he does every morning, he would say he hated gym and this other class. Then there is sports day which at the end of he said he enjoyed but during it he had major tantrum at coming last in race and then abandoned bean bag race after 2 steps and bag falling off I was really pleased as a member of staff helped him up and carried the bag on her head while she led him to the finish line so overall he did cope better with it than last year but I just wonder what its doing to his mental health to put him through all this...Ill be watching carefully next year..he's only just about to turn 7 so I' m bit worried about it as he gets older. He is keen on the idea of football, only sport he mentions, and I've booked him a week at a football taster training session just 1hr a day mon-fri during the hols luckily we've just got funding for a link worker to help him take part in mainstream activities and she/he will go to it with him. I am a bit worried it will put him off all togther though but better to find out now maybe. I let u know how that goes later in the summer. Lorraine

Hi there, have been reading with interest and confusion as I am in Scotland. Does anyone know how our report figures work out. Anyone know what the expected levels are for P1,2,3 in scotland system? I've tried googling but am not getting very far thanks Lorraine

thanks everyone your links are very helpful. I feel much calmer now after meeting I think mostly I get really anxious at end of terms and start of next don't really know why just the change maybe I'm more like my son than anyone else will admit. only 4 days of school left here then we have a very busy summer the thought of it is maybe making me nervous think we might of organised more to do than we will want to when time comes we both (only me and S here) suffer from a lack of motivation to even get up in the morning and Ive tried to defeat this by having quite alot planned - sorta regretting it now- anxiety creeping back up..note to self -it will be fine and you can always take a day off its only wasted money and you do that all the time cheers everyone

Hi my son is 7 in the summer he has said he likes playing football in the playground at school but I've heard he is just generally chasing whoever has the ball At the last school book fair he got a world cup book and chart and I didn't hear the end of it right up until the WC started now I've tried putting matches on for him and he's been at my parents with my dad and brother watching it but I think he has glanced at the screen like twice in all that time. I have to say I'm less than enthusiastic about footie though I used to love it my ex's obession with it put me off completely. I have enrolled my S in a football taster week where he will have 1 hr a day mon-fri football coaching with 5-8 yr olds in august its a free coaching thing and luckily a family support worker had just arrived on our doorsteps, 2 years after asking for referral to get help with play activities, and so she has organised a link worker to attend these training sessions with him. Thing is I'm worried the whole experience may put him off the only sport he has ever shown any interest in because when me or my brother have tried to have a kick about with him he always picks up the ball after about 2 kicks. He does have a strong kick even though he has low muscle tone and he can kick it where he wants it to go but I just think he can't decide where that might be. anyway it sounds like a similar case of interested in everything but watching the game! its so good to know we're not alone Lorraine

ho hum well they were very nice about everthing was the head and infant deputy, there is only one detention recorded for this term which I knew about and did already agree with. they didn't know about this other incident with the 4 boys at all and insisted if it had happened as i described they would have told me mmmh not sure how to argue agaisnt that really i will try to speak directly to his one to one helper shes normally quite chatty. they are going to speak to his class teacher about the golden time stuff and seemed to be saying golden time wasn't to be used to complete work..so ill have to wait and see what if anything happens about that...can't remeber if i'd mentioned before about requesting school reports and that and you'll never believe it the head teacher and deputy have never been asked for that before in there whole careers and they are both well over 40!! By the sound of it I won't be getting much info and they say I'll hav eto go direct to de psych for their reports if i can find them because seemingly there is no longer an education authority, they work under the local council now directly and they are having difficulty finding who to go to for information and that too :0 ..not very handy ..I'll have to go on a web search to see what the heck has been going on..you think the council might of informed the parents of this change though?! its truly bizarre oh well at least it was pleasant or maybe thats the wrong way to think of things well I got some points across and generally S has been happish with everything this year and there is only 4 days to go..just have to see who his teach is next year we might find out tomorrow supposedly..thanks for all your help the butterflies have flown great bunch o guys on here I've loved reading back through the many informative posts take care Lorraine

thanks for your reply it makes me feel much better going into meeting. I never knew that about lunch time detentions -some of them are lunch times some 15mins break times- can you point me in the right direction to find what law would cover it being formal detention ..I have tried looking mainly googling but I just keep finding help for exclusions and nothing much for detentions. I did phone enquire the scottish education helpline for children with SEN but the adviser I got seemed less sure of facts than I am to be honest. She just said schools made their own policy regarding detentions and there was nothing in writing about having to inform me. or something to that effect. thanks very much for your support. I better do quick run to loo got butterflies ...and be off..try to let you know how things go laters thanks again Lorraine

Eeek i have a meeting at school with headteacher in 2 hrs. I always get so nervous before these things. Anyone else feel like that? anyway it helps me to type things so here goes. this is more theraputic than anything so if u wanna skip it feel free i tend to ramble on endlessly. My main points are detentions - my sons(ASD aged nearly 7 and in P2 in scottish school) primary school tends to give out in school dententions(break times) like confetti- I'm sure he has had at least 5 this year but they are saying they only have one noted because they are now going to send out letters if a child gets 3 detentions over what period of time I don't know yet (must ask that!) anyway they have never told me about any of the dententions I usally find out about them from S in some fashion or another I have taken to now always asking him if he got a detention today or any of his 'golden time'(flawed reward system - more later) removed from him every day. latest time he told me he got detention was becasue he hurt 4 younger boys he says at lunchtime he went round all the groups of boys in playground starting with the older P3 boys and asked to play with them polietly, he says, unfortunately they all said no so by the time he got to P1 boys and they too said no he got too mad and lashed out at them for sometime from what he says - now my issue with this is he has a one to one support specifically for break times which I had to go over schools head to get dircet from educational pschy last year as they would not apply for one as he had been refused at start of school and nothing had changed , yeah right he had almost been expelled , sure nothing had changed!) I do not condone my child hitting others, especially younger children and his behaviour needs addressed but where was his support and how dare they punish him with a detention for there failure to supervise him. from speaking to him furthur he may not have actually been given a detention as he said he was just taken in for rest of break period. As communication isn't a strong point and school has refused previously to tell me of these incidents I have to go on what I get and question wether it was or not. his support always seems to stand back(often not anywhere near him!) from him at break times I go and sneak a peek often as school is opposite my parents fair enough they don't want an adult always with him but basically it seems like she is never with him - as far as i understand it she is supposed to help him interact not just to be there to pick up the pieces when something goes wrong or to take him in to cool off when he gets angry and frustrated by his lack of socail skills or the other childrens lack of tolerance for him. golden time - grrh - 30 mins of getting to choose toy to play with on friday afternoon. reward for good behaviour or so I believed have had incident in past where he lost out on what golden time he had left because he wouldn't finish work and I though teacher had come to some understanding on the issue but nope here we go again..apparently 2 fridays ago S got no golden time due to losing bits of time over the week - he can't remeber why but it could be being cheeky or talking some kind of unwanted behaviour they can deduct 5, 10 or 15mins or all golden time because of - so fair enough if behaviour warranted it. this last week he sayd he lost no golden time throughout week but he had work to finish off and he couldn't do it so he had to sit trying to do it through out golden time - result no golden time.. now apart from the obviuos issue of how can this be used as an effective behaviour reward system if good behaviour does not actually ensure you recieve the reward and 2 the work they had him doing it was to pick one of the school rules(about 10 of them) and draw it. now for a child who finds choosing difficult and abstract thoughts difficult let alone his lack of imagination this was an extremely difficult task he says he was supposed to do it the afternoon before and he had tried but he had no helper then or at golden time also whilst he was left struggling with this the rest of the class were doing a fun experiment for golden time this week rather than free play so half the class was in room half in corridor with cups and string - u know like a communication phone thing experiment and he was supposed to concentrate with all this going on and he says teacher was out in corridor with the group outside so absolutely no one to help him!! Im lost to see where this work has been differetiated for him and at how cruel can they be 'punishing' him for not being able to complete work easily I would maybe view it differently if it had been a reading assignment or maths at a level he can do then yes maybe he would be just being lazy and refusing to do it but honestly he is a very consciencious worker and trys his hardest (for the moment - can't see it lasting if they carry on treating him like this) I feel the teacher is trying to bribe him into doing work he simpley cannot do and now my S says he dosen't mind losing golden time he dosen't think he'll ever get any again and he dosen't care so they have totally lost any use of it as a behaviour reward I can just imagine next time he's mucking about in line teacher saying S stand still quietly or I will deduct your golden time- S, " ok I don't care, I never get any anyway " gosh I wish he would say that though it is really cheeky but he won't he'll just ignore them thats if he even hears them in the first place. schools whole attitude to him is like hes highly intelligent he must know what he's doing punish him punish him he will obey or else...when I think of the amount of adult aspies I read about who spent school being treated as lazy or naughty or just non compliant it makes me mad that even with a diagnosis and an autistic outreach team for support schools can still get it so wrong. I'm going to ask to be informed before any sanction is given to S again adn that an appropriate adult ie me is present when he is questioned about any events in future and that if in doubt school should speak to me or the autistic outreach teacher (who is fab but very time constrained) before taking action or trying to force him through bribery or any other means into doing work because they do not seem to have the first clue about what he finds difficult or not. Overall this year has been a superb year compared to last and because I've not been called up for serious anger issues from S I'm afraid I've relaxed to much and not been there as I should of been for him. Then I think well if overall he seems happy maybe I should keep my gob shut but I do worry how all these little things and attitudes from staff will affect him if they continue. Am I doing the right thing or making a mountain out of a few mole hills? sorry for spelling and ranting and length if u got to the end congrats sorry I do go on think thats why school is not returning my calls lately thanks anyway feel sort of calmer now Lorraine

yeah just for toilet issues and not for awhile- think school would have got away with saying they thought he might have tummy bug though but we had discussed that he was off to much with the 'runs' and that it wasn't a bug its because of his extremely limited diet. been much better this year maybe because school is far less stressful for him now cause that couldv'e contributed to it also. once i was called in and they made him goto his support worker and apologise for hitting her before they would let him return to class I don't know what they would have done if he had kept refusing to do so, actually after the fact I kinda thought I should have said no to this, as he had no idea why he was apologising and was more or less just nagged into it and because the day before he had bit another pupil and refused to apologise and they didnt even tell me til i picked him up at lunchtime ---IMHO a bite to a child is so much worse than a slap on the arm for an adult and as my son treats all human beings equally regardless of age gender etc it seemed highly inappropriate to discipline him more for the slap than the bite though i can't condone either...but anyway those days seem to have passed mostly, now he has one to one support Lorraine

Omg I hate her too. If it was a child laughing I wouldn't punish them but I'd expect school to explain these things happen and laughing is not nice etc etc to teach them but from a teacher omg what are the kids in her class going to learn from that!! How dare she laugh at him I'd be livid at that alone let the rest of this absolute illegal rubbish this school have put your family through. I'm livid on your families behalf. . Also I don't think he does need a diagnosis to have his additional needs met (or is that different cause I'm in Scotland?) Anyway I hope your son gets the proper support he requires very soon. Take Care, Good luck Lorraine

Ah ha hope your holiday goes well. We are also off on our hols to Aviemore I live in Scotland so its not that far its just my son(nearly 6- ASD) and I(neurotic possibly boarderline AS I think but then I am neurotic apparently) though and we are both nervous wrecks. Neither of us wanted to go yesterday as I was panicing about packing and I had to iron which I hate and I was sending him back to his room every 2 mins to try and tidy it up or make more mess I really didn't care just wanted some peace to get on with things. Much calmer today but really just can't wait to have everthing in the car and set off tomorrow. The preparation drives us both nuts we get so wound up and only have each other to moan at. I'll need to rest throughtout holiday to get over the packing lol. I hope he'll be fine when we are actually there he's a great wee fellow one to one and we are both wee kids at heart so with no stress we get on really well. We went to Ireland last year with my folks in tow and he was brill the whole holiday even made a wee friend of the spanish boy next door to where we stayed I think the fact they couldn't talk to each other actually helped them get on better cause the communication was all non verbal - only one hairy fit while playing with him over 5 days which is a record. usually its every 5 mins when he trys to play with the kids around here. Anyway hope everyone has great hols Take Care Lorraine

Ditto here, my son really reacted badly to praise up unitl about a year ago (hes nearly 6) now he even looks for it a little but not over the top praise this will still set him off. The worst reaction has got to be when they tried to give him a sticker in assembly at school for being in the good news book he had had one previously at a small assembly but this was the big one with the whole school and he was up on stage and he hit the teacher who was trying to put the sticker on him, hes quite a tactile child and goes in too close to people so it wasnt a proximity thing. I think it just overwhelms him being given praise and he doesn't know what to do with his emotions. I remember here at home once we were doing a filming for the national autistic society's earlybird course I was lucky enough to go on and he'd done something really good and was pleased with himself too when he ran over to give me a hug and the second we made contact he started pushing me away and hiting me even though it was him who started the praise moment really (funny way to put it cant find the right words 'sy) he got too overwhelmed by it all. I find as long as I keep my voice pretty even what i say dosen't seem to matter to much you know I can say wow that was really great S well done your such a clever boy as long as its not to flambouyant and said in an almost matter fo fact tone so to speak, though I dont think hes at the stage yet to realise if it was praise for something other kids would do easily at his age - I do think that will be a problem once he realises but well face that hurdle when it arrives Lorraine

Hi there, Please what is DDAT I am in Scotland, my son has autistic spectrum disorder its not be narrowed down any furthur than that but his is akin to aspergers or semantic pragmatic disorder along with hyperlexia perhaps because his reading is about 2/3 yrs ahead of his age. Anyway on the computer front he is getting through TASSC can't remember exactly what it stnads for but its a technical support unit which assess kids in schools to see what technologies may help with their difficulties, anyway sorry i digress hes getting a pc with a program called clicker4 to do written work on as he has some difficulty with actually writing but its more how upset and disruptive he gets when asked to do any written work or drawing colouring etc he often destroys his work even if he does do it , though at home in his magazines etc he seems to enjoy doing the writing for the puzzles etc as long as its his decision to do it!! Anyway occupational therapy last some him about a year ago and thought he was fine but I am having a real problem trying to teach him to ride a bike and its getting more upsettin for me mainly but also him seeing folk younger than him whizing about no stabilisers nothing, my son seems to have slight problems concentrating on steering and moving his legs at the same time and on any slight gradient he just cannot get the bike to go himself even with a push for momnetum he just stops I've tried moving his legs for him but he just gets frustrated and gives up. I mean its not the be all and end all to ride a bike I just wonder if this is a sign of a bigger overall movement problem than has been noticed by the professionals and perhaps its something that he can get help with. He does wear splints on both legs due to toe walking and flat feet which without the splints gives him a very slightly awkward gait and sore knees. Sports day was a nightmare he dosent like to do things like games even board games unless he can win and he's just not got a chance against his mainstream class its so unfiar on him though he needs to learn to cope with not alwasy winning but starting with disadvantage isnt fair either, the tattie and spoon race was better but he kept going when tattie fell off then people shouting made him realise he had to go back so he went back and tried to pick it up with th spoon only, iimagine the instructions given were along the lines of dont use your hands to hold on the tattie and no one explained he could put it back on with his hand he was still trying to scoop it up when everyone nad finished and half the parent s were awwing and the other half laughing cause it was cute probably but my heart was breaking... Mmmh the other thing is during the 3 or 4 swimming lessons we managed to go to before he completely went wild and refused to ever go back the teacher told me that she had been telling them to blow bubbles through the water and kick with theri legs at the same time and , oh it was the first time shed ever heard it from a student and it was so funny!!!argh, he told her he couldnt do two things at once just thinking about the bike riding it does seem to be something he has difficulty with if hes trying to do 2 things with his body and he needs to concentrate on both it seems like its a real challenge for him I say things he needs to concetrate on casue there certainly are things he does which involve 2 or more actions at once like he sings and 'dances' about at the same time its really made me think all this thanks for starting this thread I'm off to google dyspraxia Lorraine ps soerryI'm a rambler when typing thanks for reading all this:)