Shnoing

They exist for a reason, but it's not "news", it's "olds". Like classical drama.

Oh, my. I won't take part, I've sort of had my "15 minutes" already, but I'd like to point out that the "Themes/Questions" on your bulleted list appear to be very complex; I wouldn't be sure how to answer all of them - and I've got a professional doctorate. Plus, I have some difficulties with expressing myself in speech.

I don't feel any disconnectedness with "my AS", it has been integral part of who I am as long as I can think. Only difference: since I got that dx at age 37, 5 years ago, I'm aware of several deficits which I had ignored before. Good thing? - Idk.

The users are really quiet ones here, so no need for too much administration. I'm ok with how it is done. I'm member no. 3837 of 19690, though ... one of the oldies.

The rules are the same. What I meant was that there exists a second set of rules, which is not set by the government, but by the majority of drivers, all of whose go faster than they should on certain roads. E.g.: never be the first to break the speed limit, follow someone else, when they slow down you can assume that there's a speed camera which the other one knows about.

Re. speed limits I've learned the rule to "go with the flow" in order not to slow down lots of other drivers. There exist more rules than just those made by the government ...

I'd only use aspie/autie in forums like this one, never in RL. It's far to complex a condition, and no one would understand the term, either.

You're not the first one to ask that, so you're not the only one to feel like that after the dx. I got my dx almost 5 years ago, and I needed over 1 year to "stomach" it. There was a phase where I looked back to analyze which of my reactions were "autistic", there was a phase where I watched my every step intensely, only later on I was able (again) to be myself instead of a "walking dx". 1 year sounds a long time when you are about to start, but if you'll look back afterwards, it has been only 1 year ...

Not in my case, but I've read that this is "normal" or at least quite common behaviour in people (NTs, too!) who have given up their search for a job. I don't know whether you can get a dx of depression, then.

That may be the case, but are you listened to? In RL, I mean.

We're waiting ... what will monday bring?

Who in RL would know what a "social constructionist" has to say???

You see I asume it is mostly males answering this question and as males we have no concept of what you have said above, so our experience is limited and so perhaps those best qualified to answer would be women who have given birth ? About that: I felt that overwhelming affection, too when I held my sons for the first time: one immediately after birth, the other after about 14 hours (I was working 100 miles away, and he came 2 months too early). It seems that this is due to the famous Oxytocin. I don't know, though, whether my feeling would have been influenced in case they had had some other father (without me knowing, of course).

After I've got my dx I have analyzed my past behaviour(s) critically in that new light, and it tookover a year to go back to "normal life" (I was employed all the time, though, just what I thought about in my spare time centered aroud AS). A label is still only a label, and an individual remains an individual. Took me some time to see that (again), so perhaps you might lower/reduce the expectations/fears what your dx might change.

On the topic of adoption: for some time the Roman Emperors adopted the one they wanted to rule after their death. So at least there you have the social construct of a family of rulers. On the personal level: I've got two step-daughters and they are pretty much family in the same sense as the (blood-related) sons. And the incest taboo works between people who have known each other from early on, regardless of their "blood status". (Siblings who were separated after birth don't feel that taboo).

Well, yes, that seems to be part of the definition.

I thought about your statement for some time and it seems that I do come from a family where a statement - at that time - would have been unthinkable. You had your values, and rules, and as long as you kept to them, everything was ok. It seems to me, though, that only in the past 20-something years there's that additional need for flexibility, which doesn't allow for "eccentrics" any more. (Afaik, the uncles etc. which I would say were autistic all got their professional doctorates, referring to really really weird subjects ... which no one would understand anyway. But they got their jobs on that basis.) So, no white middle class for me ... (white catholic minority culture?)

That's the one based on Charles Dickens' story?

No, he didn't. I was just getting started ...

Follow-up question: is this a good thing or a bad thing? Should they take part in society or should they keep themselves to themselves?

I guess: nature.

I think it's not an advantage PER SE. He/she should get some, afterwards, by common consent. So there seems to exist some selflessness - because our "hero" couldn't speculate on surviving.

In general, you may be right. Re. autism, however, I think that the social model just doesn't work. "Inaccessible information" are social networking informations which I would need but of course no one is prepared to give them because these informations are part of the relevant persons' privacy. Nonautistics "get" them by guessing correctly, but never talk about them; I don't "get" them, and I don't get them, either. But I cannot invade into someone's privacy to learn about his/her intentions/plans. For example: "Colleague A, do you think that colleague B is too stupid to do that job?" Even if I NEED that information, how do I get it? One more thing: I think the new favouritism towards the "social model" is just another way of trying to save money: you don't need help, it's the society's fault, everyone just has to change (but of course they don't).

OMG - most of these questions would scare me away ...

That's a sentence that had me thinking. But I have to say, that I - probably due to lack of theory of mind - have never had the idea to make excuses for anything: the concept of making excuses is so totally alien to me that I only learned it recently, and the only excuse I've used so far is my "old age" (41). As far as I have seen it, my son at age 8 hasn't started to make any excuses so far, although he has got his dx at age 3. What I'm aware of, at least in theory, is that non-autistics (with theory of mind) surely learn to make excuses at a relatively early age.