LittleRae

Hi there! <'>

Lisa I got around the 'school rules' bit by having a meeting with teacher and agreeing with her things like * I can copy the maths or he does it in the book *certain amount of time only to be spent on homework and no sanctions if it's unfinished *days off homework if he has something specific after school, such as doctor's appointment, OT, etc. After the meeting I got the teacher herself to tell DS the new rules. She repeated them and got him to agree to them.

Hi Mumble Any hardware shop should have one of these - they are usually used in small businesses as cash boxes for petty cash. They usually have a key & lock - however, they aren't very strong. Should be enough to make your point though

Lisa We've also had this problem. In spite of telling the teacher on numerous occasions he was still getting Maths (sometimes up to 20) which he had to copy out and then complete. I now tell each teacher ONCE at the start of the year and then he either does them in the book or I re-write them if there isn't room. I just add a note to the journal - 'as per our agreement, DS has done....XYZ'. It's always worked for us. DS is also good at spelling but it seems to escape him when doing general writing. Once thing he hit upon himself to save all the writing - They often get 5-10 words to put in sentences to show they understand the meaning. DS loves to put all of them in the one sentence. He takes great pride in this and has come up with some hilarious (but also correctly worded) statements. I think we've also learned to stress less over the past 2 years. Where previously if he'd forgotten to take home a book he needed, I would have been on the phone to his friends and writing down all the Maths, etc. Now, I just add a note 'no book'. They are aware of his difficulties and the Assistant is there to make sure all is well. If she's not doing her job properly, it's not my place to spend the evening trying to source the information. Sometimes a dx can be such a blessing

We have always had the same problem with homework. Apart from not being written down properly and not having the correct books home, he could have a total meltdown if things didn't go well, or if anyone even mentioned the word 'Maths'. His assistant last year would write his homework down and put the relevant books in his bag. This year she lets him do it alone with prompting to re-check books and also adds notes to the journal so I can understand exactly what his one-word instructions are! Since January he has attended a homework club at school. He attended on condition that if he worked for the 1 hour and 15 minutes (recommended homework time), what didn't get done didn't need to be done. Because it's at school he has no problem doing the work here. Last year he wouldn't even countenance doing anything extra at home, but so far this term (early days I know) he has voluntarily completed the homework at home. I know it won't work everyday, but the relief of stress - for both of us - is amazing. If your school doesn't offer this, perhaps they would be happy to provide it if asked. Most schools do after hours activities, homework club could just be another. It's useful for most kids - especially those whose parents work, or those who don't have the concentration or motivation to do it at home. Our school charges �10 per week approx, which covers Mon - Thurs. There is no homework given on Fridays.

:lol:

Great News. Good luck for Monday :thumbs:

Could be worse!

Hope all goes well today. You've worked so hard for it <'>

That's great

Aren't some kids ######? Great though that he's made a friend. I know how you feel - with DS I 'nurtured' friendships for the first couple of years. It's kind of fake in a way, but I made sure they had a fabulous time (only invited one at a time) - there was always an exciting outing or something fun I'd set up, something they wouldn't normally get to do. It worked - he's maintained his three friends on his own for some years now. Small kids are fickle, but once they're in, they're in and they're inseparable.

Glad everything is going well Hev. You won't know yourself

Thinking of you all today Hev <'> >< <'> Hope it goes well.

Hi Loulou It's a tough one but 'steel your heart' as they say. I remember how hard it was to increase his days in the first place. and the rewards reaped by both of you when it worked so well. You've received good advice here. After the holidays is always a bad time. Take each of his 'grievances' and see how you both (and the school) can work to solve them. If necessary go back part week, if you think he will be amenable to increasing it. I like the idea of school who start back on a wednesday/thursday, as it breaks the kids (and mums!) in gently. Could he start on a thursday, do friday and come home until the Tuesday? That way he has 2 days one week, 4 the next (and only 3 to sleep over), and by then hopefully he'll be happy to stay. Look at the long-term gains/losses if you change his schedule. You need the break yourself and Kai will benefit in the long run with independence, etc. Also remember, these things are not written in stone. Break him in gently with a view to full time. In 3-6 months if it's really not working, then re-visit it. Good luck

Shell I agree with the others. Ignore that person. Sometimes people think anonymity on a forum gives them licence to insult other people. This person obviously was not looking for advice from anyone - he/she had already made their own mind up. Don't sink to their level. At least here we know that the forum is well-moderated and this sort of thing isn't tolerated. Take care

I told mine when he was 9 - diagnosed aged 8. I think the younger the better, especially if they will understand and definitely if they notice that they are different. I used 'Can I tell you about Asperger Syndrome' by J Welton. Now he's older (11), he often reads 'Being yourself in a world that's different' which he finds helpful. Only you can make the decision - do whatever you feel is right for your child

Hi Caroline - not much more advice to add, I'm afraid - have you phoned CAMHS? My DS did this frequently from ages 6-8. He would bang his head, punch himself, he even took a sharp knife and threaten to kill himself. He often said he was stupid and wished he was dead, the world would be a better place without him. To be honest, that's how we got attention from CAMHS (not in UK). They spoke to him, and set him up on social skills and anger management classes. We used to just talk him through it, trying to find out the reason - very difficult - his Psych thought he wouldn't actually do anything, it was just a knee-jerk reaction to whatever was bothering him. Eventually, when he was 9 it seemed to stop except from occasionally. I think it coincided with telling him his diagnosis - it's never been as bad since. Sorry I can't be of more help.

Thanks all. It was a day I thought we would never see as he's always been so negative about the bike - not used to failing.... He's thrilled with himself. Everyday I hear ' I love my bike'! Now, I just have to persuade him that perhaps he needs a bigger one Good luck to all those others trying - it took us 3 months, so persevere

Hi. Hopefully Canopus will be able to direct you there. It's from way back and took me ages to find - and now I can't find it again... I'll pm him to put the link up

Canopus I really have to thank you for your post ages ago about teaching kids to ride a bike. DS is almost 12 and would never countenance the idea. Well, this summer I printed off your instructions and with a few tweaks here and there... Last week, DS got on his bike and off he went - rode around for 3 hours!!!! :notworthy: :notworthy: It happened all of a sudden. Now he adores his bike. Mother of course is embarrassing as I was watching him bawling my eyes out - wouldn't have been so bad, but it was in a public park! Thanks again

<'> >< I'm with Bid on this one. I'm so mad for you. Everything you and L have achieved has been in spite of the LEA. I'd get back on to 'that woman' spitting fire. Tell her this is the day that she would have received her A-Levels if they had done their job in the first place. I know if it was me I'd be threatening to take them for every penny they should have spent on her thus far. Surely a small matter of transport is not much to ask for instead... Not being UK-based, I've no practical advice for you just <'> and very well done to L for succeeding in spite of them.

DS has always been this way. Our GP's opinion was that it was normal - for him. How old is your DS? Mine had no problems until he was about 7and then the leakages, etc. started. Unknown to us at the time, he hadn't been 'performing' his usual twice weekly for a month or so. This led to nearly 2 years of medication and eventually hospitalisation for 'retraining'. Happily he is now fairly regular - anytime from 2-4 times per week but at 11 years old has to be told to 'go' every night or he wouldn't. I guess what I'm saying is that if your GP thinks he's ok, and he's not ill, then that's fine. Watch out for changes in pattern and perhaps take note if he suddenly doesn't 'perform' twice weekly.

OOps! Didnt realise there was already a post for this.

Happy Birthday Ben - hope your day is 100% fun. :bday: :band: :pepsi:

Fingers crossed - he'll be grand