witsend

Hi Shortcake - welcome to the forum - it's fab Luv Witsend.

Have just caught up with all this post - Becci - <'> <'> <'> <'> hope things are feeling a bit better now. Just speechless at the whole MIL thing!! I hope you have realised by now you are not a bad mum, quite the contrary in fact and your MIL deserves to be rolled in honey and put in a bee garden!!! (something my lovely mum used to say about those who deserve it when she was here! ) Take care - Luv Witsend.

Just wanted to say good for you for following it through and getting a response which may make it better for the next kids joining. There are so many things over the years I have meant to do the same about but have let them go because I've just been to downhearted and knackerd to follow it through! The volunteer thing is a difficult one because of the gratitude factor. I work in a hospice and we have many volunteers with a range of roles, recently we started having volunteers whose sole purpose is to 'talk to' the patients ( ) unfortunately it has turned out most of these volunteers have little tact or sensitivity or understanding of the patients situation, I know this sounds awful but it seems many of them are just there to have a good nosey about and a gossip and fill there vast spare time! In short they are fulfilling some need in themselves but not in the patients and as nurses we find ourselves looking after the voulnteers and monitoring the situation as well as looking after the patients!! Sorry going off on a bit of an rant here, but I do think if someone volunteers for a specific role then they need to understand what is expected of them and once in that role deliver or do something else, I guess first responsibility lays with those who select/co ordinate the volunteers? Anyway don't want to offend anyone here I've been a volunteer in the past and I know most of them do fab work but when it comes to working with people often good intentions alone are not enough. Anyway well done again Kate. Luv Witsend.

Good luck with it Hev and Steve Luv Witsend.

Hey lisa that's brill Now can I book you for a cut and blow tomorrow at 2.3opm? Luv Witsend.

Aw thanks everyone, he came home tonight and said he'd had the "best day ever"!! And had made "lots of freinds"! It was sports day and he really enjoyed it and came third in some running event it's just so great when things go well for once, I'm chuffed Luv Witsend.

Wow - that's fantastic. Well done, they obviously realised you had done your homework and were in 'direct hit' mode -brilliiant, enjoy the evening! Luv Witsend.

Hev - _ Good luck for tomorrow, luv witsend.

Hi - it went ok . He didn't say too much about it but did say he would give it 9 out of 10! So that's a good enough start. . Have just sat and scoffed a box of matchmakers (his faves) together watching coronation streeet by way of small celebration Have to go now and see if lyanne gets out of that bloomin boot . Cheers luv Witsend.

Fabulous!! Luv Witsend.

Big Day tomorrow - ds starts new school - at last! Think he's ok (so far ) but I'm a bit of a nervous wreck . Have labelled everything, bought lots of new pens/pencils/rubbers/rulkers/protracers!! Got the dinner money ready, rang the taxi re pick up time, set the alarm clock...... Now please please please..let him find the right door to the school office, let his teacher be nice and understanding, let the other kids be nice to him, let him not lose his dinner money (before dinner time!! ) let him not say anything so off the wall the other kids think he's from mars! Oh and please let him get safely there an back on the motorway for an hour each way . Obviously it will be a relief when it's this time tomorrow . Luv Witsend.

Suze - <'> , I've had enough of the ###### 'holidays' too. Someone should rename them - 'purgatories' or holli-hells' or something. Not long to go now though! Hang in there. Luv Witsend.

Thanksto you all - am keeping my fingers crossed and will keep you posted. Luv Witsend.

That's good news - goods luck Hev. Luv Witsend.

Hi - just wanted to post an update to everyone whose been following (and helping with) the school saga. Son is to start at new school after half term on Mon 4th June . We are all quite excited, got uniform yesterday, he looks very smart in new blazer! He is at scout camp this weekend and little one tucked up in bed so we are a very chilled out household at the mo, and there's not often we can say that!! Luv Witsend.

Hi Sal - right this is my understanding of it all (but could be wrong 'cos I do get befuddled with it all myself ) - I think LEA have to provide transport to the nearest school that will meet your sons needs so if you are arguing that the special school is not going to meet your sons needs but the scholl further away does, then that's your battle! Once you get LEA to agree to this school you want and it's named in the statement then I'm sure they would have to provide transport. We were in a similar position to yourself a year ago, LEA agreed to specialist placement but pushed for local special school very similar to the one your describing, when we visited it it was glaringly obvious ds would not fit in there and the head agreed with us, so that was kind of hard for LEA to argue with (though believe me they tried!). We wanted a (special/independant) school 30 miles away and eventually after a lot of shouting (threats of media and MP involvement) they said yes, they set up transport without any arguments (an hour each way in taxi every day) I presumed that this was becaue they named this school in the statement. Unfortunately all went pear shaped anyway at this special school and ds is transffering to a differant one (non specail independant! ) but is is still as far away and LEA are still providing transport. Good Luck - don't let them bamboozle you! Luv Witsend.

Oh Mel - <'> <'> . I really hope something goes your way soon . Hang in there. Karen was exactly right these people obviously are forgetting they are paid professionals and you are a stressed out mum just trying to do the best for your son, no wonder they won't sort bullying out in the school because seems like they are bullies themselves. Get the LEA involved big time soon as your feeling stronger. Take care Luv Witsend.

Good luck - keep us posted. Luv Witsend.

Hi and welcome - we probs all know how you feeel . Luv Witsend.

There I was just replying to Lizzies post about school traumas, feeling angry on her behalf and musing about how badly the system treats our kids, when Ds appeared having had a bath!! This is quite exciting in itself because he's only just recently started to 'do baths' and even more recenlty he 'does baths' now on his own!!! Anyway he appeared having bathed and got PJ's on but with his hair very wet, I was astounded becaused he doesn't wash his hair like EVER, but was gonna play it cool and not mention it until I realised.....he had washed his hair with shampoo but hadn't washed it out - at all!! The back of his head was just like full of bubbles For some reason this has made me chuckle and cheered me up ( I'm obviously losing the plot completely ). What was even better was when I told him about the bubbles there was no meltdown he just laughed!!! And he let me wash them out!! I know it doesn't sound much but it really is quite an event here . Cheers - luv Witsend.

Hi Lizzie - am glad things seem to be a little better, for you today. It can make a real differance having at least one 'professional' on your side, or at least who understands your sons problems properly, at least then they can't brand you totally bonkers or paranoid or over-protective or whatever other rubbish labels they use to get out of their responsibilities because then they'd be branding there own professional as the same! The whole school thing is like a roller coaster, I really hope things stay on the up for you, (for a while at least eh? ) Luv Witsend.

Hi Mel - hope your having a better day. Was just wondering if there is another school a bit further away but still do'able if you know what I mean? My son has to travel an hour in a taxi to present school when we decided to take him out of this school and look at others we would of loved him to move to a local school but like you there was nowhere suitable. The school he is going to move to is actually close to the school he is leaving and we wouldn't even have thought about it (or known about it) if LEA hadn't brought it up! He will still have the hour taxi journey but when we discussed it this was something that bothered us more than him . Sorry if you've already considered school within travelling distance I know you probably have . Just trying to think of something to help because I know what you're going through and I know it ends up being all tou can think about and basically does your head in! Take care Luv Witsend.

Hi multi.............I haven't been upset or offended at all. All I wanted to say is that when I read your first posts I was struck by how much your son sounds similar to my my youngest son - he has ADHD. Then when I read your later post when you gave more details about your son I was also struck by traits he has the same as my eldest son - he has AS. Don't know wether that'a helpful or not it is purely an honest observation. Take care Luv Witsend.

Hi Mel I can symapthise and empathise with you here <'> we have been in a very similar situation (son at a special school being constantly bullied by 2 other kids there) and the school have done absolutley nothing to sort it out . We have got son a place at another school (not started yet taking ages ) and in the meantime he is not going to school either, all this is bad enough and very stressfull, but what makes it worse is that throught the whole ongoing process of having problems, and being driven to looka t other schools etc etc non of which has been easy sons present school have said........absolutely nothing! They have not phoned me, written to me or called back when I have left them messages!!! Despite the fact a child is so miserable at there school he is having to leave it they have not communicated at all with us! It just beggars belief but has made me realise how wrong the school is and am so glad son is getting out of there. I'm so sorry you and Jay are having to go through this it sounds like hell, have to agree with a few others and say maybe you should be cutting your losses so to speak and looking at alternative schools (believe me I know it's not easy, especially when they have been 'granted' a place at a special school/unit which can be so hard to get in the first place - but I kept hanging on hoping things would improve for son and they just got worse ) I hope you manage to work something out <'> <'> to you. Luv Witsend.

Hi I'd just be really wary of doing this, but then I had very negative experiances with parents at D's last school. Thing is you don't know any of these parents well enough to trust them with the information and if you're already having disputes with the school about how they handle things of could all blow up in your face and the school may make it worse. Also I can quite understand M not liking people talking about her, our kids have endless professionals discussing them for hours during their school lives and I don't blame them for getting sick of it, and I think she has a right to her confidentiality being respected. I'll bet the other parents won't be going into details about their kids as much. Am really sorry to be so negative, like I say I had really bad experiances so it's prob made me a bit bitter and twisted. Maybe it could work out well but just be careful. I 'confided' in one mother about my sons p'problems' early on in his primary sdhool life, (I thought she was a nice person and had no idea at the time of the attitudes some people hold towards kids with AS etc ) this woman then promptly told every other parent (don't know what she said) but it was obvious by the change in attitude towards me and my son in the playground she must of said negative stuff along the lines of 'don't let your kids play with him' because for a long while he was not asked to other kids parties/houses and his invitations were usually turned down (we're busy that night/week/month......etc). It did improve a bit as he got older and the kids started making their own minds up rather than their parents, but I still see red every time I think of that woman and with she did with her gossip. In retrospect maybe if I'd had more confidence at the time maybe I could have turned it around by explaining better to some other parents and getting them on my side, I don't know..I'll stop ranting now, and best of of luck with whatever you decide to do, it will be interesting to know how it works out. Luv Witsend.