BusyLizzie100

Curra, I'm sure it's not that he doesn't care, he probably has other ways of showing he cares - why do it when everyone else is doing it? Far better to be original!

Oh dear, we haven't heard anything about this, LSAs or canteen staff. That'll be a nice surprise for next week, then!

thanks all, for your replies. Lisa, Mossgrove and D's Mum especially. Mossgrove, I don't think that my son really is coping. and that by saying he is the school are storing up trouble for the future. An Ed Psych has recently observed him and said he seemed to be doing OK. She seemed to take a lot of what my son said at face value; eg asking him to rate his own performance. He scores himself highly in almost everything, despite his difficulties and the fact his handwriting is barely legible. He says he is the best sportsman in the family, although he cannot kick a ball let alone catch it. To me that shows he is not able to rate his performance and has no real understanding of how to do it. but because he's not saying how much he hates school etc (not to them, anyway), they presume he's happy. To be honest I expected a psychologist to see through that, but apparently she doesn't. I'm sure that's why we see deteriorating behaviour at school. Lisa and D's Mum, thanks for your advice. I think I will push for an assessment and then worry about it from there. My second son already has a Statement (he's in Year 1) and it works well for him, however he is very different from his brother and has dx ASD, so perhaps more obvious. You'd think the school would be sussed when that Statement works well, but they just don't seem to get it with my AS eldest. Thanks Lizzie PS sorry if this is garbled; fending off three kids desperate to get on the computer!!! Aren't I awful, having a turn myself?!!!

Briefly, my son is 8, dx Asperger's. He's on the 99th centile for verbal IQ (ie Gifted) but only on the 19th for spatial IQ. Despite OT input since he was four his handwriting is barely legible - even he struggles to read it. Along with that huge discrepancy go the usual difficulties with social skills etc. He is on School Action Plus and school says he is achieving adequately and is coping at school. Yes, the little darling saves up the stress, anxiety, frustration and misery for us at home where it spills out in increasingly aggressive meltdowns. He hides it all so well at school and we see what it's all doing to him. We have had conflicting advice about Statementing. School etc say they can't see how a Statement would help him, as he'd hate to have one to one over his shoulder all the time. But others - a private psychologist, an eye specialist and his OT - all think he needs a Statement. In fact it was his OT who suggested I ask around to see what support other children like him might get - she knows some children that are similar for whom Statemented support has made a difference, but couldn't be specific. So if this strikes a chord with anyone, please, please let me know how it works for your child.

My son (AS, 8) finds Golden Time difficult, not because he loses the privilege, but because it is an unstructured time and that freaks him out - he doesn't know what he should be doing and gets anxious and stressed. He could really do with some input from the teacher, more concrete suggestions as to what he could do etc... but that's another story!

Following on from what Phasmid says, it seems like a good opportunity to use it as a real learning experience for the next time, whether it's real or practice. The whole idea of these drills is to get everyone to know what to do in an emergency; perhaps it's going to take a little longer and a few more visual explanations (if that works for yours) to explain why it happened and when it could happen again - without panicking her. HAving said that, I know what it's like when your child freaks after a fire drill - mine did the same and dealing with the aftermath is not fun. I understand how you feel.

I feel a bit weird revealing this, but I have always had a thing about the number eight, and things being even numbers in general, I suppose because they're equally balanced. When I was younger I always tried to balance out my walking, so I ended up with an even number of steps - my right side was more 'even' than my left (I'm righthanded). I even have this thing where I count the number of vowels in a phrase and if it comes to eight, I'm really satisfied. Capitals count as two. I do this in my head all the time. I also check shapes out for a possible '8' shape, eg if its floor tiles then one has to be slightly smaller (the top one) and the one underneath a little bigger, to represent an eight. If it works out, I'm really satisfied again. Weird, huh? And I'm 'NT'! As for the kids, no one ever notices they're autistic. They have better eye contact than I have.

Phew, have just spent days (well OK, the odd hour grabbed here and there over the past weeks) putting together parental evidence for stat assessment and I am officially KNACKERED! Up to 13 pages so far - don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing (ie I've gone totally overboard), but he's such a complicated little lad and everything seems relevant. It's dead hard when you've got expert reports saying different things, too. Some say he definitely needs a Statement, some say he's doing OK; even the school is complacent. Can't blame school for not knowing what to do, when the experts' views are in conflict. Anyway, I'm off for now, think I deserve it. Cheers!

Yup, my son could tell the difference between supermarket brands of tinned ravioli (horrible stuff). He also notices the 'wrong' pasta or pasta sauce and won't eat it. I can tell if anything has aspartame in it - even in crisps. Diet colas are just a totally different drink to the full-sugar stuff.

I'm with Zemanski on this one - the man spoke German so I'll say it like he'd have said it. I hate it when people get my surname wrong!

ditto a thousand times with my own kids.

Well done - heart-stopping moment but so glad it all came good.

Hi, I've got an underactive thyroid. I first went to the GP complaining of lump in my throat - best way I could describe it - being tired and cold all the time, and I was referred to an endocrinologist and then put on tablets. My friend found out she had an overactive thyroid - she lost a lot of weight (I put on heaps!) and she found her muscles would often go into spasm or lock, ie if she crouched down to get something off a low shelf she found she was sort of 'locked' in place and couldn't straighten up very easily. Put simply, it was like my system was slow and sluggish and hers was racing. My understanding is that it's all about getting the balance right, and if your thyroid is out of balance - over or underactive - then it can start to impact elsewhere in the body. I have annual blood tests, and was tested regularly during and after pregnancy. Once they get the balance right, it's mainly plainsailing, but it's getting the balance that's the tricky bit, and that's best done through blood testing AND clinical assessment, ie how you feel not just what the blood says. Start with the GP, if he/she seems dismissive, request a referral. It's not a horrible thing to have, once it's under control, and you could qualify for exemption from prescription charges. Good luck!

Could it be because 3 and 8 are sort of similar and therefore confusing?...

Stephanie - I noticed there was no mention of autism, too. Is that he hasn't got a diagnosis of autism? Although he seems to be described in most places as an autistic savant. The closes anyone got to autism was referring to developmental delays, and the doc who talked about a lack of theory of mind. Curious that autism wasn't mentioned at all.

MotherEve, I'll second that. I think my MIL wants trophy grandchildren, not real ones with all their eccentricities and delightful ways. Her loss.

Phasmid - thanks for that. It was actually a good Review meeting and I only noticed the Senco wasn't there until the end. However, my main concern is not for the son that has a Statement, but rather for the son that hasn't - my eight-year-old with dx of AS whom the school seems to be treating with persistent complacency, despite his being on the 99th percentile for Verbal IQ and the 19th for Spatial IQ, along with social skills difficulties and the common package of difficulties associated with AS (just trying to be brief, not flippant!). To me it seems the school does well when given a prescription - a Statement - but don't know their arses from their elbows when it comes to recognising SEN themselves (my Statemented son was Statemented before he started school).

No, I haven't approached governing body yet - didn't know if it would be appropriate or not. Knowing the school and their apparent view of SEN, it probably hasn't even got a SEN governor!

We tend to use the 'big space' explanation, ie this one's better because we can all fit in here. Lots of disabled parking spaces double as 'parent parking' spaces nowadays, and many disabled toilets accommodate changing tables too.

Kathryn, sorry to hear about your balloon experience. I totally sympathise, because ds aged six also has a fear of balloons and they get thrust on him from everywhere! Even at school, where in Reception they were covering balloons in papier mache. He had to work outside, but he talked and perseverated about the balloons in school for days, weeks afterwards. What I hate is when they're thrust at you in shops or in the street - people presume that kids love balloons - it's the one thing guaranteed to make ds run away, once straight into a busy street (grabbed him back just in time). I can only imagine how your daughter felt to find what she once thought of as a safe part of her world suddenly turned into a balloon hell - horrible as well for them all to be in such a confined place. Sorry also about you missing your son's big moment; we get so caught in the middle, don't we. Hopefully there'll be other times and other achievements for you to celebrate. Lizzie <'>

Well, bizarrely, it was a good meeting, which is why I didn't raise the issue at the time. Present were: parents, head teacher, class teacher, LSA, S&L therapist, autism advisory teacher, Ed Psych. The OT couldn't make it because she's quit. The head was chairing the meeting and minuting, which isn't ideal, I'd have thought. Anyway, it was a good turnout, but I just wondered exactly what the Senco's role is in all this. We met her for the first time at my son's Review last year. Last term I requested a meeting about my other son, involving his teacher, the Senco and the head. Head rang to ask if it was entirely necessary for the Senco to attend - I said yes. If the Senco isn't involved in areas of SEN, then that sort of makes her redundant - doesn't it?

Had my son's Statement Review last week. Does it strike anyone as odd that the Senco didn't attend? I know she's part-time and her 'other job' is as a teaching assistant in another class, but I'd like to think that she had some involvement in the rest of the school's SEN. I'm getting a feeling that the involvement of the Senco in SEN is kind of indicative of the school's view of SEN as a whole.

In our region we have Children, Schools and Families; we applied through the CSF's Disability Team for an assessment of care and a social worker came to assess the family as a whole, to see if we had a need and what that need was. Their view is that they take a 'holistic' approach. We have two boys with dx (ASD and AS) as well as a third It took ages and ages to get things finalised and a lot of tinkering - at first it was viewed as a temporary arrangement to help me get back on my feet, until I forcefully explained that the children are autistic for life and I am not going to change into Supermum in three months. Two years later, and after lots of tinkering, we have a care package with Direct Payments that looks like it will work for us - it's still very new so check with me again in a month or two! But the point seems to be to me, that it shouldn't matter what the dx is - if there is a need for care or respite, then it should be identified as a part of that holistic approach. And surely, a child with ADHD has a huge impact on a family and family life, so aren't they due a level of care, too? And what do they mean by 'children at risk'? What a horrible implication! If at risk, they need input sooner rather than later! This makes me really angry. Why can't our children be treated with respect??

MotherEve, just wanted to say, well done you for saying your piece to your mother. That took nerve and guts. No need to fret about it - let her do some fretting now. Can you come and sort my mother-in-law out, now???!!! Lizzie

I don't think anyone can be a perfect parent - even those 'perfect' parents that we see at the school gates have probably all got issues of some sort, however minor. I read once that the important thing is to be a 'good enough' parent, ie we love them, we care for them, we provide for them, and we do everything we can to be good enough for them, but perfection is something very difficult (impossible!) to strive for, so we should recognise that and be proud of what we do achieve. By the way, I'm far from perfect and my kids tell me they hate me frequently. Coming home from school today my six-year-old said he was going to kill me because I said we had to pick up his little brother on the way home. A little harsh, I thought. But it does hurt sometimes, particularly when they get you at a vulnerable or a busy time. It can wear you down, too. I think the fact that we are all on this forum shows that we are doing our best for our kids, and are therefore 'good enough'. And this forum is an excellent way to let off steam!