Tally Report post Posted August 12, 2007 I've got a new friend, who I met at Autscape this year This makes 3 friends now, which probably takes the pressure off my mum a bit, and can only be a good thing! This is the sum of 26 years' work, 3 friends, but I'm pleased with it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted August 12, 2007 That's great Tally Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
llisa32 Report post Posted August 12, 2007 Thats great news Tally...really pleased for you. and don't worry about the number count...everyone is blessed if they have one person they can call a friend, so 3 is what I call 3 times lucky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pragmatic Report post Posted August 12, 2007 Tally, I definitely agrea with Lisa I am supposed to be NT (having some doubts tho) but I can only think of two people that I can call 'real friends'. Well done. Pragmatic Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 12, 2007 Great news Tally Real close friends I can count on one hand. I think thats as it should be. All these peeps with 500 "friends" on Facebook - whats all that about? I think it devalues the meaning of the word. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stella63 Report post Posted August 12, 2007 Hi Tally, well done. I agree with Pearl and I think I am an NT person (with a few question marks)! I only ever had 2 friends at school and they hated each other which made things very difficult for me! I fell out with my 'best' friend at age 21 when she didn't tell me she had got engaged - I thought this was a really important thing she should have shared with me but she chose not to. It took 15 years to get back in touch, unfortunately due to my mums funeral. We are friends again but haven't talked about what happened back then. The relationship is good but not as close as it could be. Stella x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted August 12, 2007 Tally <'> I also agree that I would rather have QUALITY friends than QUANTITY friends! It's nice to have acquaintances, but good friends will always be there and never judge...and they are few and far between, so cherish the ones that are genuine! Lisa xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted August 13, 2007 Tally I am delighted for you. I think you would be surprised how few people have more than a handful of close friends, so you are doing pretty well! Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MelowMeldrew Report post Posted August 13, 2007 Great news Tally Real close friends I can count on one hand. I think thats as it should be. All these peeps with 500 "friends" on Facebook - whats all that about? I think it devalues the meaning of the word. Facebook looks a very dubious place to participate in, and there have been official warnings of weirdos and ID theft on it too, they track people online there..... Twitter will even give you an exact location of the person typing to the nearest street and house. This sounds very unnerving ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 13, 2007 Damn, my daughter just made me join! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 13, 2007 Well done Tally What's Autscape like? I read about it on their website and it looked like something I might enjoy/be able to cope with, though I was concerned at interacting with that many people and particularly with having to share a room so I wouldn't have anywhere I could escape to if need be. I can't initiate conversation so I could see myself getting more and more frustrated at having lots of people around me who could do this when I couldn't. Would you recommend it? Facebook - my opinion is that you just have to be careful as you would on this forum. Lots of people post a lot of very personal information without thinking about who can view it. My sister set up a Facebook page for me and I have 3 friends: her, her best friend because she wanted to attach me to someone, and the student who is the student rep for my course because we have a page to communicate meetings etc. I'm not allowed to 'play the friends game' or 'set up a friend web' because I get an error message telling me I don't have enough friends!!!! :rolleyes: Would I like some real friends? Yes, I think so, but I also know what a burden I can be on people and how some people can struggle to understand me. Anyway - I quite like my own company because it means that I can choose what to do and when without having to fit into other people's routines. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 13, 2007 You've got some real friends Mumble - us <'> OK, most of us virtually, but a few in real life that you've met. I know at least one person on here that you've met & is proud to call you a friend. I like my own company too. After a day socialising I love being on my own, indeed need to be. And I have lived alone too. Me, a book, a glass of wine & chocolate. Heaven. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted August 13, 2007 Me, a book, a glass of wine & chocolate. Heaven. I'm booking an adjacent cloud. Sounds perfect, although it would have to be mead in my glass. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 13, 2007 Mmmm, mead... We still have our Lindisfarne bottle unopened (uncharacteristic restraint on our part) ... we are saving it for Christmas. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted August 13, 2007 That's brilliant. I think it's much better to have a small pool of 'real' friends. I'm NT and I would say that I have two 'real' friends. They're the only ones that have a two way friendship ie they listen, help and support me and vice versa. Really pleased for you. Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted August 13, 2007 I have 4 friends on FaceBook. 3 of them are my real friends, and the other I would just describe as an acquaintance. Autscape is fantastic and I would recommend it to anyone with a connection to autism. I am going to post more about it once I have got my head together. The downside is the post-Autscape come-down, which I am suffering from at the moment. Sharing a room can be a problem, but there are quiet areas around the place. Next year it is going to be in a new venue, so things won't be exactly the same, but at the previous location a silent room was set aside, as well as an area of the garden, although you would get noise from other parts of the garden. The grounds are also quite large, so you could go off for a walk by yourself if you wanted. You can also choose to have a "no interaction" room. You could mention this when you book and they would try to pair you up with someone else who wanted this too. There is a "no interaction" table in the dining hall, but you are allowed to eat outside or in your room if you prefer - although you would have to come into the dining hall to collect your meal. The catering staff are trained in autism and know to expect that some people will request meals by pointing or in writing. The interaction control badges are really helpful for managing interaction. The red badge says "I do not wish to interact with anyone," and allows you to participate fully when you don't feel up to communicating. The yellow one means you only wish to communicate with people you already know, and is useful if you're feeling a bit anxious. The green badge means that you would like to communicate but have trouble initiating interaction. This is the one I select most of the time. By wearing the green badge, you are asking for help, and people will normally come and talk to you. Those who have no trouble initiating would wear no badge. Also, there is no requirement to register for Autscape under your real name. We all get given badges with our 1st names on, but there is no reason why you can't choose a pseudonym to preserve your anonymity. If you're interested, I would recommend joining the emailing list. It's quite active at the moment with people discussing the event. You can always delete your membership of the list if you change your mind, and there is no requirement to post emails yourself. You will find the link on the Autscape website. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted August 13, 2007 (edited) Glad you had a good time and made a new friend I have looked at Autscape with interest for the past two years, and I think next year I will try to attend. Maybe we could see if there were a few of us from the forum who would like to go, so at least there would be some familiar names/faces... What kinds of things did you do while you were there? Bid Edited August 13, 2007 by bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted August 14, 2007 In the mornings there are lectures about issues relating to autism. This year's were titled: Making Conversation - a Structured Approach to Other-Focused Communication. Best Practices of the Empowerment Committee of the Finnish Association for Autism and Asperger's Syndrome. Autism and Loneliness. AC/AC Relationships. Accessing Formal Supports. There was also a webcast lecture on Autism and Feelings/Emotions (I forget the exact title at the moment). In the early afternoons there was a Recycling Art Workshop and Shintaido sessions. Later on there were discussion groups based on the lectures and any other issues connected with autism. In the evenings there were more discussion groups, videos, or you could just sit in the bar or outside and chat or play boardgames. None of it is compulsory, so you can just do as much as you feel comfortable with. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted August 14, 2007 Thanks Tally, I think I will definitely try to go next year Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 14, 2007 Are NT's allowed to go? It sounds fab! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted August 15, 2007 Oh yes, definitely. It is designed with the needs and interests of autistic people in mind, but anyone with an interest in autism is welcome. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 15, 2007 Thanks. Sounds like something JP & I might enjoy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jo4themo Report post Posted August 21, 2007 Hi Tally I agree with the others - throughout scool I only had about 4 close friends and now at 29 I have 1 really really good friend, and that's it apart from family members. I lost touch with my old schoolmates after I married and had kids whilst they were all still out clubbing! I am NT and am pretty sure that's right as i was sociable at school, I am just naturally shy. Emma Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted August 22, 2007 Thanks. Sounds like something JP & I might enjoy. Yay!! Shall we organise a Krism Contingent for next year, then?? Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 22, 2007 Yay!! Shall we organise a Krism Contingent for next year, then?? Bid Well it had crossed my mind. I'd certainly be interested Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 22, 2007 Shall we organise a Krism Contingent for next year, then?? Sorry - feeling stupid this morning - what's a Krism Contingent? - I looked it up on the web and got something about South Pacific Technologies????? If you mean getting a group together to go to Autscape next year, I'd really like to come along if you'll have me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted August 22, 2007 Sorry - feeling stupid this morning - what's a Krism Contingent? - I looked it up on the web and got something about South Pacific Technologies????? If you mean getting a group together to go to Autscape next year, I'd really like to come along if you'll have me I think Krism was the original name of this forum Mumble. Good morning <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted August 22, 2007 Sorry Mumble 'Krism' was the original name of the forum, waaayyyyy back when Of course you're part of the 'gang'!! Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 22, 2007 'Krism' was the original name of the forum, waaayyyyy back when Thanks Pearl and Bid, I'm clearly not old enough to remember the good ol' days (clearly more evidence, if any were needed, of my rightful claim to having Lee all to myself :wub:) Well that's sorted that out - now I just need to go and find the switch for my brain which doesn't want to work this morning (I even had a lie-in which is totally unheard of for me :lol:) What does 'Krism' mean btw? Why was the name chosen for this forum? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bard Report post Posted August 22, 2007 (edited) Well, here are two options; crism oil is used in baptism rituals in the catholic church, to celebrate and welcome an individual into a new life and a new family. Or the bloke that founded this website is called Kris M. Which is it, oldtimers? ps I found him, Kris M is a forum cohost. So much for the symbolic theory! Edited August 22, 2007 by Bard Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted August 22, 2007 ps I found him, Kris M is a forum cohost. So much for the symbolic theory! Well that's a bit of a disappointment - I was thinking it would be something deep and meaningful and all that . . . I quite like the crism oil idea. I should have realised - when I tried to find 'Krism' on the internet, with the exception of the pacific technologies site, the other hits were all to people called Kris M. Proof that brain isn't working today Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted August 22, 2007 (edited) I've got a new friend, who I met at Autscape this year This makes 3 friends now, which probably takes the pressure off my mum a bit, and can only be a good thing! This is the sum of 26 years' work, 3 friends, but I'm pleased with it Wow, Tally, that's brilliant. You're doing better than me, after 43 years I haven't any at all!! Autscape sounds really great, is there a lower age limit, I mean, do you have to be 18, it sounds like something I'd like to take my son to one day. ~ Mel ~ Edited August 22, 2007 by oxgirl Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted August 22, 2007 You have to be over 18 to come alone, but there is no lower age limit for people attending with an adult. There is childcare provided from around 9-5 for all children up to the age of 16, but teenagers are allowed to attend lectures, etc, with their parents. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wishingwell Report post Posted August 22, 2007 Tally Autscape sounds great I'm really pleased for you! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted August 22, 2007 You have to be over 18 to come alone, but there is no lower age limit for people attending with an adult. There is childcare provided from around 9-5 for all children up to the age of 16, but teenagers are allowed to attend lectures, etc, with their parents. Cheers, Tally, that sounds really interesting. ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CEJesson Report post Posted August 25, 2007 (edited) Hi Tally, Having read your comments I must say I am pleased for you. The number isnt the most important - people who have lots of so called 'friends' turn out to have many 'semi-friends' that barely contact and consider them at all. I have around 4 or 5 true friends, and many aquaintances on facebook who I went to school with and the aquaintances have abandoned contact. I hope this achievement makes you more proud of yourself. Dont try to feel disheartened that its your fault. Reading about Autscape was a good story:) Edited August 25, 2007 by CEJesson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
