School uniform!

[NikkiSmith]

Is school uniform compulsory?

 

My autistic 5yr old son attends the local special school and since the end of term in December has begun to refuse to go to school. He has limited speech that's understandable, but he keeps repeating "No bus" "No school" No Sunbeams" (his respite, one overnight a week) "No Banks" (for no thanks!)

 

He won't wear his school uniform and although I keep trying, it seems like an battle I just cannot win at the moment, so he's been going in wearing whatever clothes he wants (and at the moment we are getting crafty enough to work out if he stays naked, mummy isn't keen on taking him anywhere!)

School keep telling me it's just a blip and to send his uniform in and they will put it on him..... he hates it and fights them and on Friday he got of the school bus very distressed and the escort said it had taken them until 2.45pm to get his uniform on him and during all the fuss he missed his drink & biscuit, upsetting his routine even more.

 

Getting him on the bus is a nightmare (though there have been a couple of times that he has happily climbed on the bus sat down and just stared into deep space) but most mornings I have to put his heavy weight over my shoulder and fight him onto the bus and then pin him down and help the escort and driver to get his houdini harness on him. Every morning it breaks my heart, but it's no better if I take him to school (as I have done on the 3 occasions we couldn't get him strapped in on the bus.)

 

I feel like I need to pick the battles I fight and the uniform issue isn't top of the list (getting him to school is!) Nobody can find a reason for him being so anti-school, just that it's a blip!

 

Can I tell them to stop fighting him to put his uniform on? He is much happier to go wearing a t-shirt, fleece, jogs and trainiers - not even his bright coloured clothes, usually just blacks and blues.

 

All comments and ideas are welcomed, please! As I am toatlly stumped and schools best suggestion is to see the paed (cos she'll wave her magic wand and sort it all, won't she!?)

 

 

Sorry for the very long mutterings,

Nikki.

[pumpkinpie]

I agree with you about picking your battles. Dont be afraid to talk to school. Does he need sensory integration?

[justamum]

as far as I am aware wearing school uniform is NOT law but a suggestion, so if it's a bone of contention for your son then suggest to the school that it's not worth the uproar and fighting and him having day long melt downs. Could it be that the teachers making him put his uniform on is the reason he is not keen to go?

[NikkiSmith]

We actually have the OT coming after school on Tuesday to look at his sensory issues - maybe she'll be able to help!

 

Interesting that uniform is only a suggestion - I don't understand why they are so insistant on him wearing it.

I don't think his uniform is the reason for not wanting to go to school, as even at the beginning when they didn't try and force him into it, he wasn't keen.......

 

Tomorrow is another day..... here's hoping school understand where I'm coming from.

 

 

Thank you both for replying

[summertime]

school uniform isnt compulsory in most primary schools but is in some, each school has their own policy on it.

 

It doesn't sound like the uniform is the issue cus as you say you still have to fight when he isnt wearing it, but something obviously is a problem and fighting him to put his uniform on won't help.

 

you can certainly stop them from trying to put it on him, as this is something he doesnt want it will be classed as restrictive physical intervention and this isn't allowed unless he is in danger of hurting himself, others or the property of school or other pupils. i certainly dont think it would fall into any of these categories.

 

I think they need to work out why he doesnt want to go and then when he's happy to go he will most likely be happy to wear his uniform. But I would certainly insist they no longer battle with him to get it on, if you dont manage to get him in it don't send it in, they may try to put on some spare uniform but without your permission they have no right to do it.

[Karen A]

Hi.I think it would be worth talking to the school and being clear that uniform is not the major issue to battle over.Perhaps suggest an experiment...no body worries about the uniform for an agreed period of time and see whether it makes any difference.The stress you are facing every morning cannot be helping anyone. <'> <'> Karen.

[Kazzen161]

I believe uniform is not compulsory for primary aged children. My son was allowed to wear plain black trainers at the mainstream juniors as he hated the feel of black shoes.

 

I think if you keep as close to the uniform as possible eg: plain back joggers, they should make allowances. I woudl just say he has sensory issues wearing the other clothes. Do they want him to be in school and learning, or in school uniform?

 

It may however be that the school feel that he is just wanting to get his own way, and may be insisting on uniform because of that. Ask them.

 

Schools mostly object when children insist on making their mark by wearing branded, bright or unsuitable clothes or footwear.

[justamum]

Read this...you will see there is a part where it states that if the school uniform is not suitable for child they can not be forced to wear it...or words to that effect

[krystaltps]

C is having problems with his uniform at the moment because of sensory issues. The school have been very understanding about it and actually said "C has more to worry about than a silly uniform, relax".

As a SEN teacher, I would never insist that a child wears uniform... it just wouldn't be inclusive. If the uniform is causing problems for your son, then it is not appropriate for him to wear - simple as that. Even if it is a school rule, then the rule is non-inclusive and has to be modified.

But if the school insist on being prissy about it, choose the things he likes to wear (textures and seams, etc) but in colours as close to the uniform as possible. That way he blends in and it would probably be better for him in a social sense anyway, i.e. not sticking out as different from his peers.

[rach04]

j hates uniform and i told the school he wasn't wearing it and he hasn't for 4 years. Last year we got him to wear a white polo shirt but thats his "uniform".

[Karen A]

Hi.I read through the info in the link posted by Justamum.I think it contains the details you need Nikki.It clearly states that schools should consider requests made by parents for medical needs to be taken into account in requests to wear alternative to uniform.You have very valid medical reason.Karen.

[NikkiSmith]

Thank you all for the replies and the info - I sent him yesterday dressed all in navy, including his fleece that he stroked all day, but had a note in his school book saying that they felt he was doing well getting his uniform on at school and didn't want to lose the progress he had made!! Am still waiting for the teacher to call me, but as he's off sick today I doubt she will.

 

But I am most definitely prepared for battle now!

 

You're all stars, cos knowing he's not the only one is great - thank you.

 

 

Nikki.

[oxgirl]

Nikki, if you're not happy then don't stand for it. There's no way I'd let adults struggle to undress my child to put him in clothes he didn't want to wear. They have to decide what is more important. If he is happier in his own clothes and has a better day because of it, then they should make allowances. If he can tolerate just one item of the uniform (tie, sweatshirt, t-shirt, school bag) or whatever, then that would be progress, it's a matter of finding out which items he will tolerate and letting go on the rest for the time being or they risk making the situation worse. If he'll wear school trousers but would prefer a plain top of his own then I don't think they can force him to change and put on full uniform. I feel quite cross on your behalf, actually.

 

~ Mel ~

[krystaltps]

But I am most definitely prepared for battle now!

 

Good! Remember you know your boy best, you know the effect that the uniform has on him, you have to deal with the "fall-out". It doesn't matter what he wears, uniform is superficial to his learning needs.

 

Here are some inclusion quotes that may help in your battle.

 

In 1996, the Centre for Studies in Inclusive Education (CSIE) profile of the features of an inclusive school stated that education authorities and school management must understand that inclusion has the power to restructure school systems and policies. The school system/policy should be altered to suit the needs of the child, not the converse.

 

An inclusive school will "actively promote understanding and a positive appreciation of the diversity of individuals and groups within society" and will "promote success and self-esteem by taking action to remove barriers to learning" ("Count us in", SEED, 2003).

This one is Scottish, but it still applies south of the border. Your son's uniform is a barrier to learning.

Edited January 22, 2008 by krystaltps

[smiley]

niknaks <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[LizC]

Hi being a special school I would have thought they would be more understanding! My son goes to a special school and although there is a uniform they are not forced to wear one. the main thing is that the child is happy! Matthew won't wear the school jumper, he preferes his trousers and shirt, he is more comfortable like that.

[JsMum]

Hi we too have a big issue with school uniform, J has hid his, throw it in the bin, drowned them in water and often refuses to put it on, we just now place them inside a bag and the school aproach him and sometimes its not an issue as it is at home and he puts it on, if not he just wears his own clothes but J is older and it can cause others to comment that he isnt wearing a uniform, J doesnt care though and has often wore his own clothes, but he has had a high absent rate this year too.

 

I would just try to stick to the schools colours and not suggest they are for just school, I personally think the uniform issue for J is a delaying tactic and he uses it to focus on it so by the time its over with its too late to go to school, so if by a certain time its not on then it just goes with us in a bag.

 

It is compulsary for Js school as it is in the behaviour policy and its the children that pull J up more than the teachers.

 

JsMum