Shouting & Volume Control - Any Advice!?

[Julieanne]

Having a rather hard time of things with Jay at the moment...he is shouting ALL the time..he cant seem to speak quietly, and is very random so like on saturday when we went to tesco's i had a member of staff say '' for gods sake '' and looked at me like i was a completely ###### parent with a unruly child

 

i did complain about her and im in process of getting onto head office to make tesco stores ( at least) autistic friendly as us parents are under enough stress without feeling like we cant go out anywhere which is how myself and my hubby feel now...want to lock yourself away...ugh!

 

and then today as i went shopping i had a customer mutter something and give me a awful look as jay was again shouting and i just lost it and said '' my son is disabled , he has autism OK?'' maybe not the best thing but i have had enough of ignorance...

 

i then left the shop crying and not finishing my shopping and sobbed all way home..i get home and jay starts again...this goes on for hours...from 6am to midnight...all the time...i am at the end of my tether...social services are ###### here on isle of wight and i have had many dealings with them, promising me this and that but of course it never happens...

 

but anyway i wanted to know if any of you have a autistic child that constantly shouts everything, every noise they make..and what coping strategys you may use...i have tried everything from fingers in ears...to saying with visual cues..''too loud/noisy'' he laughs and thinks it is a complete game...

 

anyone relate or help please?

thanks for listening and for any replies in advance

Julieanne <'>

[NickyB]

Julieanne, I know just how you feel

 

DS spent the entire half term shouting, even when he was just asking for something. Like your Jay, he just seems incapable of speaking quietly. I got all the looks as well, but I've now learned to ignore it most of the time - most people have no idea of what it's like.

I did notice when we got back to school on Monday that the teacher said to him 'we have quiet voices in school' and it did seem to work (not sure how long for, though!!).

 

I can't really offer much else except understanding <'> <'>

 

Nicky x

 

 

 

 

[Stella63]

We get this with OJ, particularly if he hasn't had his prozac for a couple of days. I now just have to pretend to wind down a large volume control knob with my hand and he knows that means he is talking too loud.

My DH on the other hand jsut shouts at him, like that is really going to work isn't it?!!!!!

 

Stella x

[stressedmumto2]

Gosh I used to experience similar and I think now I have realised that many a time when my son does it it's because he is trying to filter out other sounds especially when in supermarkets Lol, when my son was much smaller I tried to teach him level of volume when talking with 1 being a whisper and 5 shouting and would repeatdly say to him "I am talking in a no' 3 you are talking in a no' 5 can you try and talk in a number 2 no' 2 sounds like this" etc etc, with lots of reminders throughout the day and lots of praise when talking appropiatly. It did work to some extent with him and he talks much quiter now, even mumbles under his breath which I find annoying!! But it definatly worked, must say though it was something which took years of doing but he get there in the end!!

 

If your child is shouting to filter out noise could he/she perhaps have story books or music to listen on headphones to listen to whilst in noisy enviroments, this may help to filter out the noise and calm him. <'>

[MelowMeldrew]

Having a rather hard time of things with Jay at the moment...he is shouting ALL the time..he cant seem to speak quietly, and is very random so like on saturday when we went to tesco's i had a member of staff say '' for gods sake '' and looked at me like i was a completely ###### parent with a unruly child

 

i did complain about her and im in process of getting onto head office to make tesco stores ( at least) autistic friendly as us parents are under enough stress without feeling like we cant go out anywhere which is how myself and my hubby feel now...want to lock yourself away...ugh!

 

and then today as i went shopping i had a customer mutter something and give me a awful look as jay was again shouting and i just lost it and said '' my son is disabled , he has autism OK?'' maybe not the best thing but i have had enough of ignorance...

 

i then left the shop crying and not finishing my shopping and sobbed all way home..i get home and jay starts again...this goes on for hours...from 6am to midnight...all the time...i am at the end of my tether...social services are ###### here on isle of wight and i have had many dealings with them, promising me this and that but of course it never happens...

 

but anyway i wanted to know if any of you have a autistic child that constantly shouts everything, every noise they make..and what coping strategys you may use...i have tried everything from fingers in ears...to saying with visual cues..''too loud/noisy'' he laughs and thinks it is a complete game...

 

anyone relate or help please?

thanks for listening and for any replies in advance

Julieanne <'>

 

 

Can we swap ? mine is so quiet and I don't hear too well <'>

[peaches]

I find the loudness hard to cope with too, as we are generally a quiet family, but Raph's loudness is now starting to spread to his little sisters. Our youngest girl, 15 months, has got very squeal-ly (if there is such a word).

 

With Raph its not just speaking in a loud voice (nightmare when little ones are in bed) but he also enjoys making lots of noise too. He recently asked me for some cymbals, which I conveniently forgot about. He likes banging things in general. Yet the vacuum cleaner is too loud, he doesnt like fireworks or certain other loud noises. I pointed this out to our Clin Psych and she said he probably gets enjoyment from making loud noises, whereas the loud noises he cant control lead to some sort of sensory overload.

 

We have a reward system going (marbles in a jar) and one of his rewarded behaviours is speaking in a quiet voice for 20 minutes. He hasnt achieved this yet.

Edited November 4, 2008 by peaches

[bikemad]

Another loud foghorn here lol....he does a whisper at what id call normal voice lol. Ironic thing is tho he hates loud noises!!!!!!

[sueeltringham]

We have very similar problems. At first I thought it was related to school, but I now know it isn't. Volume control is a common problem for kids on the spectrum.

The way we've tackled it is by using a level 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 system level 1 is quiet used for most 1:1 conversations, eg at the dinner table, sitting next to someone. Level 5 is shouting at the top of your voice. We started off with visual cards and talked and demonstrated the different levels, then over the next few weeks we would tell him the level he was at (or show card) and then ask for level 1. After about six months of this, we seem to have got somewhere. While visiting recently, I could whisper 'level 1' in his ear and he knew to lower his voice, without others noticing! It's working well now, but he still needs constant reminders in new situations. Hope that helps,

 

Sue

[dooday24]

reece is also very very loud and u cant hear yrself think at times xxxx

and always gets louder and louder if u r trying to av a conversation drives me batty at times lol

 

donnaxxxxx

[tjw]

hi yes george has started shouting as well, even when talking it is realy loud at mo, also making realy loud squealing noises and finds it realy amusing when i say shhhhhhhh to loud, hopefully it will stop soon because he dosent like loud noise normaly, he has also taken to turning tv up realy loud when i go out of the room, little

theresa xx

[oxgirl]

If he shouts at you try whispering your answer back to him. Often if you whisper at a child, they have to really concentrate to hear you and they'll often copy your volume and whisper back or at least lower their volume to match yours.

 

~ Mel ~

[KarenT]

We do the same as Sue, except I've extended it to six points so I could make a card game, where you have to take turns reading statements on a card with a volume level dictated by the die. Level 1 is silence, Level 6 is emergency shouting, others in between. It gives practice at using the various levels and helps recall them in normal conversation.

 

Karen

x

[connieruff]

My son went through a stage of doing this, it made my ears ring and I think he did permanent damage to them.

Supermarkets are bad places for Aspergers children because of the lights and background noise, my son would try to drown out the noise by making his louder noises. In fact he would run riot and many a time I've walked out in tears leaving the trolley in an aisle.

Can you get tesco on line? Its a Godsend for me, the amount of time, stress and money it saves me it is worth its weight in gold.

If anyone says anything nasty to me about my son I say 'well he'll be quiet later - but you'll always be ugly!'

Also it seems to be just a stage they go through as my son did it all through the summer but has now stopped and so hopefully your child may just stop one day.

[vicbee]

My son went through a stage of doing this, it made my ears ring and I think he did permanent damage to them.

Supermarkets are bad places for Aspergers children because of the lights and background noise, my son would try to drown out the noise by making his louder noises. In fact he would run riot and many a time I've walked out in tears leaving the trolley in an aisle.

Can you get tesco on line? Its a Godsend for me, the amount of time, stress and money it saves me it is worth its weight in gold.

If anyone says anything nasty to me about my son I say 'well he'll be quiet later - but you'll always be ugly!'

Also it seems to be just a stage they go through as my son did it all through the summer but has now stopped and so hopefully your child may just stop one day.

 

 

I love your quote 'well he'll be quiet later - but you will always be ugly'. I use this one quite a lot for various situations - i remember my history teacher telling us it was a famous Churchill quote when a woman said he was drunk and he replied something like - you my dear are ugly, i can sober up!! (I diverge slightly....) Yes, i have this very problem with my daughter - volume control. I am constantly saying 'volume down, volume down' my head bangs most of the day. i always thought it was down to the hearing problems she used to have related to glue ear but she has grown out of that now that she has had a t-tube grommet fitted and can hear ok now but her voice is so loud some days. The wall between our house and our neighbours house is like paper and Im sure she wakes my neighbours son every morning because she doesnt seem to be able to do anything quietly - morning or not. (Just always seems worse in the morning). She will sometimes laugh out in a real cringeworthy hysterical laugh that drives me potty too. I think i will try the volume 1-5 thing.

 

Julieanne, I have to say that since I realised that my daughter may be on the spectrum (she is currently in the assessment process) my whole attitude to obvious disability and so called 'unruly children in public' has changed dramatically. i try to think to myself if i see someone with a child 'misbehaving' that maybe that child has problems other than just being unruly. I think unless you work with disabled people/children or are a parent/relative of a disabled child you are never going to fully understand as most people just arent aware and are ignorant to disability. Frustrating I know but a very sad fact of life. I understand your frustration with the volume thing. My daughter gets really cross with me when i tell her to turn the volume down and it is sometimes the cause of some of our 'where did that argument all start' arguments (I take it everyone experiences those 'where did that argument all start' arguments?? I had one this morning that escalated, culminated in my daughter now being punished by being sent to bed at 7pm not only tonight, but tomorrow, wednesday and thursday...all over...A YOGHURT!) THE MIND BOGGLES!!

[lbj]

My son who is NT (lots of traits, wouldn't be surprised if he got diagnosed as Aspergers somewhere down the line) is incredibly loud and also very intolerant of loud noises other than himself. I thhink, to be fair, I'm a bit like that myself but that at my "very advanced age" my personal volume control has improved a bit but my intolerance of noise is actually getting worse - which is bad news for noisy DS!

 

janine

[Cariad]

T shrieks, shouts, does a wonderful high pitched scream and shouts obscenities; so shopping for us is very rare. At the moment he slams the mouse down when he is on the PC very hard and he has broken one already, and he broke two NDS lites last Saturday with his twitches.

 

Sometimes I do leave the room as the constant noise does start to grate on the weekends.. I would be angry with the way you were treated in Tesco. Our Tesco were fab with T when he tried to "lift" a NDS game and walk out a few months back while I was an isle away , he wanted it for his "collection". They knew he was Autistic and took all of us into the backroom and told him off and then gave him a squash and he did say he was sorry. People have to accept that there are people with disabilities out there and they should not be so snooty and rude IMO!