Meltdowns

[Special_talent123]

For past few days I have been having meltdowns. Last night because of the smell of the new cooker whilst cooking my food, tonight because I nearly burnt myself on the cooker hob when i turned it off.. it burnt the glove but not me. I had a meltdown over this. I now don't want to touch anything hot; great my fear got worse again just when I were doing okay.

[LancsLad]

Special-talent firstly well done one making a strong connection with the smell of the new cooker as being a possible trigger. I think any change like this can take some time to become acustomed to. Gaining an understanding of why things are happening is the most important step. In the same way we get very used to the layout of objects and I would put any money on the fact that there will be differences in the positioning of dials etc and subconciously you will have made the same movements as before and simply missed!

 

As someone with AS I know my motor skills and spatial awareness are very good, in fact way above average been tested on it a number of times. I am also often in similar situations how can this be so I have asked myself? My own conclusion is that I am able to do things subconciously where others may not be able to. One example is I know I am a very good driver, have advanced qualifications, and yet when I get into my partners car it takes me some time to adjust. Do I become a bad driver, of course I do not, but I have to conciously think through what i am doing on some levels. Whilst training to be a driving instructor and going out with my trainer in my own car, a specialist track racing car, he told me I would never pass my advanced test in it as I was too good and free flowing, the examiner would not think I was making any concious effort to drive. Does this make me not feel stupid for a while in my girlfriends car course it doesn't but I understand why.

 

My solution is to often buy like for like because I do not like change especially with tactile things like clothing, drawing equipment, computer keyboards etc.... When I can't do this I literaly hate my new purchases for a while. I can't find a watch I like 4 years on from a favorite one breaking search the internet for a similar design to no avail. The other thing is to accept there will be an adjustment time and realise I need to conciously think things through at what I consider to be a 'normal' level til I get familar with my new object, and this includes waiting for that newness smell to wear off.

 

Having a meltdown is not appropriate behaviour so challenge it, it just takes time to adapt back to your normal opperating levels which I suspect might be very good.

[Special_talent123]

I had a meltdown over police officer were here unexpectedly and my laptop screen broke.

 

With new equipment, I have to plan ahead enough planning to cope with something new so that means sitting in amazon box for ages or I research when a certain film is out then I get it when it's out because I planned enough notice for me to cope.

 

My meltdowns consist of screaming, crying, rocking, shaking, throwing things..

 

[LancsLad]

I think planning is a good idea to reduce unwanted stresses and also getting rid of frustrating emotions is important, rather than being tied up in knots. So I get some of the aspects of having a melltdown not too sure about throwing things as that could lead to further issues.

 

I think living daily with AS is about understanding ourselves and working out how we can structure our lives so they move in a positive direction most of the time. If that thinking results in some unconventional behaviour that works I have no issue with it rather the opposite well done for finding answers. I think though at time things such as having meltdowns might not work to well and we need to take a step back and rethink things through in a different way.

 

Sometimes when we do find success and our lives are more or less in balance it is not surprising that we want to take things step by step and build slowly, so why not think through things like new purchases carefully, and work out what effect will this have in my life, this is far better than compulsive buying to feel better in the short term a disease in our society.

 

Special-talent a big factor in all of this is self confidence. It is hard to build confidence when things seem to go wrong all the time. But I think we need to be realistic at times and whilst we might have a big emotional response to an incident, it should not mean our self confidence should take an equally big hit. My laptop broke down recently and I have a lot of stuff on it and it was emotionaly hard to take for a few hours. I have yet to find I need any of that stuff and have been able to carry on with my life in the weeks since. There might be a point where I sudenly need something from it and then will have to see if I can get to it or not, that might be frustrating, in the meantime it sits in a corner of my office and I carry on with life. Think I am saying it is all about keeping things in your own perspective and moving on.

 

Best wishes.

[oxgirl]

The most important skill to learn in regards to meltdowns is to recognize when they are about to begin and to learn to stop what you are doing or walk away before they start. It has taken me a long time and lots of experience to learn to recognize in myself when pressure is building in me and that if I do not stop what I am doing soon, I will start to get to a point where I cannot stop. Now that I can see the signs coming I will get up and stop what I am doing and leave it for later or wait until I am calmer and then ask for help. Machines and things that do not work are a massive trigger point for me. If I am trying to do something on the computer and it is going really slowly or not connecting properly I can very quickly start to feel pressure rising in me. I know that if I let it get past a certain point then things will start to get broken so now I am able to leave it before this point. When I was younger I wasn't able to do this and would carry on and on trying, getting more and more wound up and felt that I was stuck and that I couldn't stop.

 

~ Mel ~

[SidiousUK]

I have meltdowns all the time and they are usually linked to the behaviour of the bi-pedal carbon based life form for whom I have very little time.

 

People say "it's like banging your head against a brick wall" and when I was younger I would run full pelt at walls or hit my head against them.

 

Apparently I'm like Jykel and Hyde. When I explode it is in spectucular fashion and then afterwards I act like nothing has happended.

Something in a recent film rang true to me when one character say to another

 

"Who are you?"

the other replies

"I'm Frankenstiens monster and I'm looking for my creator"

 

Overtime, I have found sounds that I find soothing. Songs with a "drone" on the backing track are often found playing on a continual loop on my laptop and if someone switches off the server on my desk I get upset as I like the sound it makes in the background

[leeds_demon]

What constitutes a meltdown? How is a meltdown different from aggressive behaviour? For example, when my computer lost sound, I started to cry and panic. Could this behaviour be considered a meltdown.

Likewise, when my former housemate lost my debit card, which I lent her, I verbally ripped into her, to the extent that she had a panic attack. Could my behaviour in this instance be considered a meltdown?

I will admit that whenI couldn't get my travel costs from the Sheffield Asperger's Service, on my first visit, due to the relevant member of staff being on holiday, I started to cry and get upset. Likewise, when I was told that I would have to pay back overpaid tax credits, I panicked and cried.

The thing is, my meltdowns are very infrequent and I get the impression that Aspies have meltdowns all the time. Ergo, I can't be an Aspie.

[chris54]

A good question, What is a meltdown.

 

A true answer would be catastrophic failure of a system from where there is no recovery.

 

Put into human emotional terms it must be when you loose all control of you emotions, this could involve violent out busts or being in a crumpled heap on the floor. You may recognise what is happening to yourself but you are unable to do anything about it.

 

It is my opinion that the term "Meltdown" is over used.

[robert7111a]

A meltdown is where a person is put into a situation they cannot deal with mentally and where they cannot escape from that situation.

 

Classic example, I was on a course recently for work with M.Sc people and without warning, the lecturer wanted us to get into small groups and discuss some aspect of the topic. These were people I did not know. My mind immediately went blank and I panicked, not knowing what to do or say. I went into meltdown and wanted the floor to swallow me up.

[chris54]

A meltdown is where a person is put into a situation they cannot deal with mentally and where they cannot escape from that situation.

 

Surely you mean this is what could course a meltdown.

[trekster]

The most important skill to learn in regards to meltdowns is to recognize when they are about to begin and to learn to stop what you are doing or walk away before they start. It has taken me a long time and lots of experience to learn to recognize in myself when pressure is building in me and that if I do not stop what I am doing soon, I will start to get to a point where I cannot stop. Now that I can see the signs coming I will get up and stop what I am doing and leave it for later or wait until I am calmer and then ask for help. Machines and things that do not work are a massive trigger point for me. If I am trying to do something on the computer and it is going really slowly or not connecting properly I can very quickly start to feel pressure rising in me. I know that if I let it get past a certain point then things will start to get broken so now I am able to leave it before this point. When I was younger I wasn't able to do this and would carry on and on trying, getting more and more wound up and felt that I was stuck and that I couldn't stop.

 

~ Mel ~

 

That is the key, recognise you are overloaded (or ask people with you to look out for overload and distract you from that) and leave the situation. Shutdowns ive had before when someone threatened to kill me on a bus. It was about 7 months ago and i froze when he phoned his friend to say he was going to kill me. Thankfully i didn't notice the change of route (that would have extended the shutdown and the driver tricked the drunk into getting off the bus where the police frequently visit.

[oxgirl]

A meltdown is where a person is put into a situation they cannot deal with mentally and where they cannot escape from that situation.

 

Classic example, I was on a course recently for work with M.Sc people and without warning, the lecturer wanted us to get into small groups and discuss some aspect of the topic. These were people I did not know. My mind immediately went blank and I panicked, not knowing what to do or say. I went into meltdown and wanted the floor to swallow me up.

 

To me, this doesn't seem like a meltdown. It sounds like you just froze with anxiety but you were still able to hold yourself together and put on a front of coping. To me, a meltdown would have been if you'd broken out into a sweat, jumped up out of your seat and ran out of the room shouting or ran round in panicked circles having lost all control of your ability to prevent yourself and giving no consideration to how you would have looked to the other people present. A meltdown, for me, is a loss of all control and the ability to think straight, which could lead to screaming, breaking things or self harming. A feeling where you lose all control of yourself.

 

~ Mel ~

[trekster]

A meltdown is where a person is put into a situation they cannot deal with mentally and where they cannot escape from that situation.

 

Classic example, I was on a course recently for work with M.Sc people and without warning, the lecturer wanted us to get into small groups and discuss some aspect of the topic. These were people I did not know. My mind immediately went blank and I panicked, not knowing what to do or say. I went into meltdown and wanted the floor to swallow me up.

 

That sounds more like a shutdown to me going blank without the shouting and screaming.

[chris54]

As I said I thing the term Meltdown is over used.

[trekster]

Your post doesnt make sense. Meltdown is when you have completely lost control, it is a behavioural seizure.

[chris54]

I think that we are going to have to accept the the term meltdown means different things to different people.

It is like saying you are in pain. One persons twinge, is another persons heart attack.

[trekster]

There are various descriptors for pain, agony would be a heart attack unless it was a silent heart attack.

[matzoball]

I think as has been said before, 'meltdown' is subjective. Personally I think there are different levels of meltdown dependent on the stimulus. I had a massive one at work just before christmas - i had been going through an extended period of anxiety(4 Months) and was set off by a fairly (to me) incendiary email in relation to the anxiety. I couldn't tell you what I did or said, but when it was related back to me I was apparently extremely aggressive, had a massive verbal rant aimed at another colleague, and was shaking and sweating to the point they thought I was going to collapse. Before that I had had a smaller one where I had to get off a bus in the middle of the countryside because it was too hot and there were people crowding me and making too much noise.

 

The point I am making is - this might not seem like a meltdown to someone else but it was to me. So that's why I think it's subjective. What matters is the coping mechanisms that are in place to help deal with it. I'm only just getting over the last one as I ended up having a breakdown because I felt at the time I had no support. That's one of the reasons I love this forum - everyone is supportive on here

[robert7111a]

Clearly I have misunderstood the term meltdown, but as Chris54 points out, it has different meanings to different people. Certainly if one is put into a situation out of their comfort zone, they are going to react in some form or other.

[A-S warrior]

meltdown hmmm, back in 1999 i saw some kid with a massive nosebleed, it was like he had his head cut off it was that bad, all i rember was feeling like i was falling asleep and i was seeing flashing lights and everything went dark, i rember waking up and thinking i was late for a maths lesson, i was still coming too i diddnt really know where i was and i heard a familuar voice talking it was the assistant head teacher carrying me out of a packed assembley hall i thought i was in trouble and i was going to get told off, it wasnt until i was in the medical room that i realised where i was and what had happend, the same thing happened a week later, and i had many tests done at hospital i was diagnosed with a right sided abnormality in my brain, it caused panic attacks, extreme outburts of physical violence and epileptic fits. i also have a-s (obviously) so im wondering if these melt downs are linked with these abnormalitys and aspergers. and if its comomon place with a-s sufferers to have right sided abnormalitys, slightly off topic but it saved me starting a new thread.

[robert7111a]

The right side of the brain is your creative/imaginative side but having AS has nothing to do with what side of the brain malfunctions. I'm not a neurologist. But yes epilepsy can happen with any form of brain abnormality. Anyway I think we're risking going off-topic here

[darkshine]

The thing is, my meltdowns are very infrequent and I get the impression that Aspies have meltdowns all the time. Ergo, I can't be an Aspie.

Good point!

 

I've thought this too... but then people with Aspergers can't be having meltdowns all the time or no one would ever do anything and there's a fair few people on here who seem to do plenty without constantly losing the plot.

 

Mine are also infrequent but then my life is so limited and controlled that chances of events that make me have anything like a meltdown are quite largely reduced anyway.

 

Do they not reduce as people learn - like coping strategies and just getting older and understanding things better? Learning some things is hard for me - but I don't think learning is impossible for people with AS.

[chris54]

Just like to dispel the myth that having Aspergers equals frequent meltdowns. It obviously doesn't.

Nor are meltdowns exclusive to those with Asperger.

 

I do not know, I don't think any one does, how the frequency of meltdowns amongst people with Aspergers differs from the general population. As (Has been stated here) what a meltdown is is subjective it would be an extremely hard thing to measure.

 

My son who has a diagnosis for Aspergers/HFA has never had a meltdown, or at least what I would call a meltdown.

My Father who, if he was alive today may well have been diagnosed with Aspergers, in my memory had one meltdown at work that led to him being sent home with a week off to recover. If he had less severe meltdown, I do not know, there were never any signs that I can recall.

 

 

One last point, that I sometimes think is forgotten, this is a public forum, and what is put on here will enter into the public perception of what Autism is all about.

[Special_talent123]

ok ok lets calm down. no arguing. i had a meltdown thats final now call it a quits if u want to argue. yes people with autism can have meltdowns

[darkshine]

Just like to dispel the myth that having Aspergers equals frequent meltdowns. It obviously doesn't.

Nor are meltdowns exclusive to those with Asperger.

 

I do not know, I don't think any one does, how the frequency of meltdowns amongst people with Aspergers differs from the general population. As (Has been stated here) what a meltdown is is subjective it would be an extremely hard thing to measure.

 

My son who has a diagnosis for Aspergers/HFA has never had a meltdown, or at least what I would call a meltdown.

My Father who, if he was alive today may well have been diagnosed with Aspergers, in my memory had one meltdown at work that led to him being sent home with a week off to recover. If he had less severe meltdown, I do not know, there were never any signs that I can recall.

 

One last point, that I sometimes think is forgotten, this is a public forum, and what is put on here will enter into the public perception of what Autism is all about.

That's what I thought Chris - that there isn't any prescribed amount (of meltdowns) or definitions (of what one actually is).

 

I think its important to have these discussions every know and then to get these debates "out there", I appreciate your thoughts on public perceptions of autism, but if these things aren't discussed then they aren't challenged and so on.

 

As such it might be useful that there is some level of difference in everyone's opinion because it shows people reading this that there isn't an exact rule for some things, and that even the definition can be under question too - I see this as useful because autism is a spectrum condition and this discussion on "meltdowns" illustrates the variances on the spectrum (as opposed to people getting concrete ideas of it).

[LancsLad]

I kind of go with Chris here when he earlier asked what is a meltdown? I think I would tend to see meltdowns and panic attacks as slightly different things, be interested what people think.

 

I am prone to panic attacks. In all these cases I would describe the cause as an over stimulation and things like noise, light, heat normally seem to play a big factor and then something then acts as a trigger. The problems I face are very physical, short sharp breathing, light headedness, tight chest, cramps etc... A lot of the time I need to be checked out to make sure this has not been a heart attack.

 

I would not say I suffer from meltdowns. My own deffinition would be that a meltdown is an emotional response to a situation where the emotions overpower the individuals ability to think in a rational way. I am sure that there can be external stimuli as Special says the smell from a new cooker being one very good example. My thoughts would be that meltdowns are something which build up from a point as the harder you try to get a grip with a situation the more difficult it gets as emotions and frustration block normal thought proceses. I am not sure if this makes sense because I can not speak of first hand experiences.

 

If there is some truth in my two explinations then we should be carefull to generalise. I do not have meltdowns because I believe i am really unemotional and in fact would consider myself to be a bit of a Mr Spock character and very good in a crisis situation. Panic attacks can come on very quickly with any notice of their iminent arrival being a matter of seconds. My response in controlling these as I have said on other posts is all about physical interventions, not about changing thought patterns which might be an approach more aligned to meltdown scenarios.

 

Without doubt both are really serious events for anyone and should not be diminished in any way.

 

just a few thoughst to add to the debate.

[Haze]

my youngster is getting more violent in meltdowns he his 5 and a not tiny and he has huge meltdown yesterday i came off worse split lip and busted nose the dirt on his shoe started if off hates dirt. I am a novice with aspergers but iam noticing the older he's getting he getting more powerfull and his meltdowns are more agressive and i love to bit's but do worry

 

hazexx