Tylers-mum Report post Posted October 3, 2005 (edited) I've been going through a LOT lately and today was yet another bad day for me. Problems regarding my son's education as per usual but I find that I build them up and up and then I get depressed. I don't talk to anyone and when someone does say anything, I clam shut! Probably b/c I can't explain my feelings constructively in words but sometimes wish that someone could climb into my head and find out b/c I'm desperate to share, I just can't! Sooo many things going on at once and I can't figure out where to start and all I want to do is cry but I can't do that either b/c I find it hard to show my emotions and when I do, it's a few second cry and that's it but in reality, I need to cry for Britain. I want to share them and get them off my chest but I can't!! Why can't I??? Please tell me I an't alone in this!! I just bottle things up and then take it out on other people by being nasty and distant! Every problem I face seems like a HUGE battle for me emtionally as well as physicallyfor me to help my son. (Getting what's best with him, all the paperwork, meetings and stuff I mean!). Edited October 3, 2005 by Tylers-mum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted October 3, 2005 Hi Tylers-mum <'> I think we try to put on such a brave face all the time, that it becomes a bit rooted. When I get really down about things, like yourself I tend to get a bit sharp with people, (mainly hubby ). If I feel its getting too much I have a good cry when I'm on my own, I always feel so much better after this and can then start to get back on track with things. Like yourself I very rarely show these emotions to others, maybe it's a fear of seeming weak in front of them, when we feel that we have to be strong. We have to remember we are not superhuman and when everything gets too much then we need to sit back and take stock. Brook <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kaz Report post Posted October 3, 2005 Please tell me I an't alone in this!!! Every problem I face seems like a HUGE battle for me emtionally as well as physicallyfor me to help my son. (Getting what's best with him, all the paperwork, meetings and stuff I mean!). Your not alone i think we all do this i know i do. I think for me its that if i don't say it out loud it can't hurt so much and i also think thats why i stayed away from here for so long as well. I hope things get easier for you Karen xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smallworld Report post Posted October 3, 2005 You're NOT alone in feeling like this, at least we can unload some of the stress etc. here. I stick to being glib usually (think that's the right word ?) otherwise I'm scared I'll just crumble ...or is that, crumple ? into a gibbering wreck ! wac Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted October 3, 2005 Tylers-mum, No you aren't alone in this. <'> I'm very good at acting normal in front of others, talking trivia at the school gate, laughing and joking and then going home and bawling my eyes out, usually in the wee small hours. It's hard to make others who have seemingly normal lives understand the daily battles one faces. Because we have to be strong and in control in order to help our child effectively it's hard to let it go and express our feelings to others. But as Brook says, having a good cry even on your own can help. Something else that's helped me - I've kept a diary for a whole year since our battles began in earnest and although I don't write in it every day it does help me to vent my more extreme feelings and fears safely. (It may be a book one day but it would have to be heavily censored!) Hope tomorrow is a better day, Love K Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Helen Report post Posted October 3, 2005 Does anyone else here not show their emotions, or problems? The answer to your question is 'yes' - I'm getting more private about my personal life as time goes by, I guess it's by choice more than anything else. I'll share with you today's events... it's my 18th wedding anniversary today - my mother-in-law came to our weddding; today we went to her funeral Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted October 3, 2005 Helen ((((((((hugs)))))))) Nellie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kaz Report post Posted October 3, 2005 I'll share with you today's events... it's my 18th wedding anniversary today - my mother-in-law came to our weddding; today we went to her funeral I am sorry Helen really really sorry. and i am so sorry i have not been around to support you as much either, you know where i am if you need me Big big hugs from mine to yours Karen xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted October 3, 2005 (edited) Thanks everyone. If I could write them down or if I could cry in private I would. I just CAN'T!! It's like they are stuck there and won't budge! I've locked my feeling soo far away that I can't even reach em anymore! I hope that makes sense! Helen, my sincerest condolences to you and to your dh.I am so so sorry!! Edited October 3, 2005 by Tylers-mum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted October 3, 2005 It was my 3 piece suite that tripped my switch last week. I think we just bottle everything up until we eventually go pop. I often wonder why people can not actually see what is going on inside of my head? But it's probably better that they don't If you would like to go to bed on a laugh? That is if you are still up. My 3 piece was finally installed into my sitting room But as the men arrived to instal ithe 3 seater, I tripped over our Guniea Pig cages fell onto top of them and smashed both of them. I wish you could see my multi coloured arms at the moment. They are a nice shade of purple And now need to buy two new cages as they are being held together by tape. But the sofa looks Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted October 3, 2005 Oh dear, Carole, I think you'd better lay down and have a nice rest on those new sofa's. Hope your not too bruised. Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted October 3, 2005 LOL Carole but glad they finally got them into your room. I remember your post on that. Did they take out the window after to get them in?? Hope your arm is feeling better soon and that your pride has been restored! LOL Yep, I'm still up!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted October 3, 2005 (edited) Did they take out the window after to get them in?? No actually we knocked down the sitting room wall And IT's STILL OUT TERRY The arm is black and blue and so it my right leg and my hip Those darn cages were made of strong stuff before I wrecked em Carole Edited October 3, 2005 by carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smallworld Report post Posted October 3, 2005 How are the guinea pigs ? Hope you're not feeling too battered Carole, what a saga ! at least you'll appreciate being able to lounge on your new settee, wac Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted October 3, 2005 (edited) LMSO Carole!!!! I take it the cages didn't survive then?? I cannot believe you knocked a wall down! Gee, you are one determined lady and I'd hate to see the day I get on the wrong side of you!!! LOL You friend for LIFE!!! TM. Edited October 3, 2005 by Tylers-mum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted October 3, 2005 How are the guinea pigs ? A bit put out to say the least. The male pig had to go into David's room until Terry had repaired his cage. He was so stressed out he fell asleep on the bed (bless) then he woke up and did a poo David will NEVER have him back again. He spent the next two hours cleaning his room and changing the bed. Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted October 3, 2005 Well done Carole, I hope you get your wall back soon! You and your husband spend your life trying to knock down educational brick walls - a concrete one must have been a cinch. Sleep well, K Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moncs Report post Posted October 4, 2005 Hi , Ive felt like that for the past 7 years . Nothing makes me cry I feel so hard and i am devoid of emotion . Thats probably why I am on the happy pills ! so you are definitley not alone .Perhaps a visit to the doctor? Moncs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
helenl53 Report post Posted October 4, 2005 Hi Helen, I too send condolences to you and your Hubby and the family We all seem to know each other pretty much - but we don't really- do we! But we somehow can empathise with each other and share a lot. It is quite strange - isn't it. Love HelenL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
helenl53 Report post Posted October 4, 2005 Carole, I have now read the postings about the Guinea pigs and I just think it was so wrong of Terry to poo on Davids bed - no matter how stressed he was! Love HelenL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted October 4, 2005 Carole, I have now read the postings about the Guinea pigs and I just think it was so wrong of Terry to poo on Davids bed - no matter how stressed he was! Love HelenL Helen, I think Carole was referring to the gunea pig pooping on the bed and not Terry. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarerQuie Report post Posted October 4, 2005 I must admit to clamming up ,too.I think that it goes with the territory a lot of times.xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted October 5, 2005 I just feel that people in the NT world really don't want to hear all about it when they ask how things are going Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlenemo Report post Posted October 5, 2005 It took me years to learn that one The looks people give you when you start telling them how things are going when they ask NTs are so confusing Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lorryw Report post Posted October 5, 2005 Hello Helen, Im so sorry to learn of your loss, my condolences to you and your family. Take care Loraine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lorryw Report post Posted October 5, 2005 Carole, Its those poor little guinea pigs I feel sorry for. Not only have they had to put up with the disruption caused by the removal of a wall but they almost almost died in a tragic accident. Their hairy little lives must have flashed before them as they sat cowering in their cages, eyes closed,paws crossed, waiting for you to land on them! Hope your arm feels better soon and remember it will be even more painful if you keep bouncing on that settee Love Loraine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elaine1 Report post Posted October 5, 2005 Nope i doubt if youre alone in this, every day life gets priority over my emotions - one day im gonna pop! : <'> wub: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites