Hi there

[jewels]

Hi there im julie and a mother of 6 children from Edinburgh Scotland.

My 9 yr old son, Liam has just got diagnosed on sept. 30th 05 and we're all still tryin to come to terms with it.

 

I don't know much about it and always thought my son's behaviour was a little quirky and ecsentric and some of the things he said would be considered rude of inapropriate but just accepted that he was a little different from the other kids and told him off.

 

He was born with a few heart problems and had to have open heart surgery when he was 4yrs old. This was an awful time and Liam was very distressed by the fact he couldn't move out of his bed as he was attached to all the drips and machines, so we thought it was that he was scared and angry of.

 

It was his school that decided he needed "checked out" as his teacher was unable to control his odd behaviour and i was told he was totally unteachable. He talks in character voices especially shrek and donkey but he was using these voices in class as well.

Also when he was told to write a story based on a book they had read, Liam would write a totally different story out of his head, but when the class is supposed to do any kind of written work, Liam would just doodle of have a wander or do 2 lines and stop.

When he got rewards and certificates he would shout, clap, spin round, sing etc...

His teacher cracked up 1 day and told my son that he was lucky it was near the end of term of he would have expelled him, Liam was devastated and didnt want to go back to school, it could take me over an hour to try get him ready as he just didnt want to go.

 

Anyway, we changed his school after term as it was obvious that they could not cope with him and found another school 5 mins away and he is like a different boy, so much happier and can't wait to go in the mornings (well some mornings anyway)

 

We saw his teacher last week who told us a few things that Liam has difficulty with (any kind of change, if something is not right, if teacher forgot to do weather chart in morning etc..) His teacher also said that he would be having a support teacher and an educational psycologist (whatever that is)

 

Anyway im rambling on and on but just have so many questions and my head is just so mashed up i dont know what im doing half the time.

 

He watches DVD/video/TV programmes over and over again then acts them out. If i buy a new DVD he will watch it at least 5/6 times in a row, i know i wont see Liam for a few days if he has a new DVD and then he will act the whole movie out for at least a few weeks.

 

I just bought him a big winter coat (padded puffa type thing) and he refuses to wear it as it makes a "swooshy noise" when he walks, his room is full of cereal packet toys (he has to collect them all) and mcDonalds/burger king toys and he wont let me throw any away. A few months back i "gutted out" his room and threw lots of broken things and silly little toys out that i would regard as rubbish and when he got home from school he went mad and was asking if i'd saw "a little blue plastic bit that goes with this" etc...

Eventually i found him outside in the garden at about 5pm searching threw the black bin bags for his toys.

 

I went to gut out his room last week and i broke down as i just didn't know what to do. I know now these toys mean the world to him and i dont know how to go about cleaning all his "rubbish"

 

Also my main concern is what do i tell him?????

He is going to know something is up as things are going to change for him at school, he is also going to be seeing different ppl and he will want to know why.

 

Anyway here i go again, im going to go now b4 i write anymore.

 

Many thanx

Jewels

xxxx

[mum22boys]

Hi Jewels, <'>

 

Welcome to the group. What a great bunch of people there are here. So far they have not got fed up with my questions.

 

I had to laugh when i read the bit about your sons bedroom. Oh, I know how you feel. If only I had the guts to clear the 'junk' (sorry his collections) out his room we might be able to see the carpet. My son, M collects leaflets so no matter where we go he comes back with more. He even goes through the recycling box to collect bits he has missed! They are in piles on the floor, surrounded by his wires (his obsession) and a whole load of electrical items. Also we have lines of cars and books!!

 

Also can relate to the coat issue. I dread the change in seasons as along comes the change in clothes. I got m a new coat for school but had to get it in the summer so he would 'accept' it when the new school term came. The trouble I had getting him to try it on though was unbelievable.

 

I'm sorry I have no real advice for you as I am new to all this also. But I do know how you feel. Welcome.

[oracle]

My two sons with ASD can not bear to part with any of their things EVER. We store them all in the loft We have found that they both find this an acceptable solution to having a clear our. I feel a bit sorry for hubby as the items being stored really do have to be stored in the loft until the coast is clear and then the can be binned. Naughty I know but they have only ever once asked for something back and Hubby spent half an hour looking and then said that as one black sack looks very much like another he could be in the loft for weeks They gave up and have not asked since.

 

My eldest with AS is 18 and his room is still full of collectables. Yesterday he took ownership of the new Simpsons DVD's, and he too re-runs them for hours, but it had to be the collectors item that he purchased. He will collect anything that is market collectors item.

 

Sensory issue are a very BIG ISSUE with our children has anyone guided you through this maze yet? Your son probably is driven mad by the sound his coat is making. I have given up altogether on coats for our youngest I now buy him as thick a fleece as I can find.

 

Yes ASD does bring many life changes with it and one of the best places to learn is here Many of us have been there, done that and are still wearing the T Shirt, you do learn to cope with it all and even laugh eventually honest.

 

As for telling your son well that is down to you. You know him best and you are the best judge of how he is going to take this? Does he already know that he is different? Many of our children do. For my eldest not given his dx until the age of 13 it was a relief. For my youngest the dx came aged 3 and he has always known that he has autism. Once they know then you can begin to teach them about themselves. BUT maybe you need to learn about this ASD thing a little first. There are some excellent books when you are ready. I just went on in and told my two but that is me and we are all different.

 

You can ask ANYTHING at all here and no one will ever be It's a great Forum and you will certainly make some brilliant new friends I have and some.

 

<'> Carole

[annie]

Hi Julie,

 

Welcome to the forum <'> ,

 

The people here are really friendly and supportive.

 

If you are unsure of any of the terminology, there is a jargon buster at the top of the page. I have taken the following from there, hope this helps.

 

Educational Psychologist: Trained teachers with a qualification in psychology employed by the LEA to advise and help teachers and where necessary, to make recommendations to the LEA on providing for the needs of some children.

 

My son, who is 16 also collects things, the last odd one was smartie tubes a whole drawer full of them.

 

Look forward to chatting to you.

 

Annie

<'>

[lil_me]

Hello & welcome to my second home Also welcome to the sometimes stressful but as equally rewarding and interesting world of living with a child on the spectrum.

 

Collections - so familiar, we now have a deal, my son keeps his in labelled boxes instead of my binning them. Not untidy and there is no way without meltdown he could cope with me throwing any of his things away. I find working with the obsessions/special interests easier than working against them.

 

Clothes - another familiar issue. My son picks most of his own clothes now as I got sick of either returning things or giving them away unworn. He's extremely sensitive. I made a mistake at the start of the new term by choosing his shoes, he wore them with protest on Monday and hid them by Tuesday morning. Found them last week.

Edited October 19, 2005 by lil_me

[jewels]

Wow i can't quite believe the quick responses by all of you, thanx very much and im sure i will learn a lot from everyone elses experiences and circumstances

 

Thank u for the info on the educational Psycologist as i hadn't a clue.

To let you understand i saw the school nurse in May, filled out connars report and gilbergs test then didn't hear anything till 28th Sept. and it was a letter to take my son to a communication clinic on friday 30th sept.

 

We went there at 11.15am and didn't get out till 2.30pm and they said at the end they told me they thought Aspergers was the diagnosis, gave me 2 leaflets and that was it.

 

I told his school on the monday and had a meeting with his teacher last week and they told me what has been going on in class and they will be getting a support teacher and a visiting teacher and an education psyc.

 

That is all the info i've had and it was barely 10 minutes worth so im still as clueless as before

 

Thank you for all your reply's and hope to hear lots more from everyone soon.

 

Take care

Jewels xxx

[BusyLizzie100]

Coats - aaaaaaaaaaaaagh! Raincoats are the worst. My son would rather get wet. Been there with swishy puffa jackets; bought him a duffle coat last year which I was really pleased with, except that it's got those stupid toggle buttons on it, hasn't it! My son has a button thing. Zips are OK. I've spent a fortune on coats. Now, I've finally got it. I pile on zip-up fleeces until he stops shivering. I think I've got it sussed until I buy a coat for me and I'm not allowed to wear it cos it's too 'swishy'. Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!

 

My son also does the acting out videos thing - at the moment it's Angelina Ballerina (don't ask). Whatever he says, it's usually from some film. Casual acquaintances just don't see it, but I've watched enough of the blinking things with him to know exactly what film it's from! If I can't quite place it, i just say 'what's that from' and he'll tell me.

 

As for collecting things, it seems to be letters in my son's case. Letters of the alphabet, that is. It started with magnetic letters, now it's any game that has letters in it (Scrabble, Hangman, etc). His floor is awash with them. That and letter stickers, all over the floor, all over the carpet, all over the furniture, all over the letters... All over me, if i let him!

 

Anyway, Jewels, I wanted to say something warm and welcoming and helpful like Carole, but she got there first, so i just want to let you know you're not alone.

 

Lizzie

[BusyLizzie100]

Ooh, just read your last post and thought of something else - there's an American website called OASIS (Online Asperger Syndrome something something) that has lots of info to explain what AS is, the National Autistic Society also has good stuff that you can download - stuff for parents, family and teachers.

 

Good luck

Lizzie

[Flora]

Jewels, hello <'>

 

I too have a son with AS and another with ASD.

 

All the quirks your son has are fairly common with children with ASD. You do learn to live with them, and eventually you become quite defensive of them. I remember before my son was diagnosed I used to be apologetic to teachers/family/friends for his odd behaviour. I now defend his right to be himself like a lioness; unless of course it's harmful, dangerous or disruptive.

 

As for telling your son; I took the decision to tell my son almost straight away, he'd just turned 9. He took the news quite well and was relieved that there was a reason why he felt so odd. The only 'negative' thing was that whenever he was being disciplined for anything he'd yell 'I can't help it.. I've got a disease'!!

 

My kids also have sensory issues; with my aspergers son it's more to do with touch than sound. My son refuses to wear jeans or any kind of trousers with zips. Everything he wears has to be a size too big for him and very soft. If anything goes bobbly in the wash he won't wear it. He is very sensitive to touch; he either wants to be squeezed or he can't bear the slightest touch, it depends on his mood which is equally unpredictable.

 

You've really come to the right place here. I don't know how I've struggled through the past few years without the help, advice and humour on this forum. Friends and family often don't help because in their quest to make things right for us they often refuse to acknowledge the extent of the problems our children have (maybe too they are protecting themselves from the truth). This forum provides instant understanding to most of what you have to say, something you will find is rare when tackling people who aren't in the know.

 

Best wishes

 

Lauren <'>

[jewels]

Thank you Lizzie, its so funny (now) to think i thought my son was just on his own with his little "ways" and im so relieved to see he's not.

As for the "swishy coat thing" i thought he was just winding me up and as we have 6 children money is tight and i got so annoyed with him but now i see that its not his fault and now i feel awful.

Also does anyone have problems with socks???

He wont wear them, or if he does he wears them over and over again (he does this with new clothes as well.

[jewels]

Oops hit wrong button LOL.

As i was saying with clothes he likes, i have to take them out his room when he's sleeping and put them in the washing basket and if i dont wash them right away he's off with them in the morning again

He's even tried putting on wet clothes out the washing machine thats not been dryed yet. But i dont understand his thing with socks, its either he wont wear them or i cant get them off his feet (by the time i do im sure the socks can walk to the washing themselves yukkk

 

Thanks again for replying and i'll go hav a look at OASIS to see what they have.

 

Thanx again, it's nice to know we're not alone

Julie

xxxx

[faye]

Hi Jewels,

My son has ASD and he is another one that if you buy a new dvd he watches it over and over ,then he will act it out ,normally while bouncing round the sitting room at the same time but welcome and everybody is really friendly here.

[oracle]

I have tried EVERYWHERE to find seamless socks. They do not exist, well if they do I can not find them and people think I am

 

Sometimes the sensory issues with our children make as much impact as their autism.

 

Carole.

[faye]

socks are an issue with my son it must take us 10 mins on a morning to get his socks on perfect as the seam thingy irritates his toes

[lil_me]

Seamless socks are available, they sometimes called Diabetic specialist socks, this company http://www.simplantex.co.uk/products.php?cat=34 does adult sizes, when I find the link again for the childrens ones I will post them, there are a few companies, they are also used in ice skating, I have seen them on ebay before aswell.

Edited October 19, 2005 by lil_me

[jewels]

what is this sensory issues???

No one has talked to me much about anything and i must say i have never heard of it.

It seems i have a lot to learn about this complex condition/syndrome

 

Julie x

[Mother in Need]

Maybe old fashioned, but knitting your own socks would make them seamless?

 

We've not got problems with socks, he will accept the rule that he has to put on clean socks and pants at the end of the day (phew) but has never accepted that this counts for the rest of his clothing as well.. it is difficult to make him change into clean clothing of any other kind... and it is difficult to get him to wash as well... and it is difficult to get him to accept that his bedding needs washing (though I usually manage to get away with that one by washing them while he is at school as long as the weather stays dry).

 

Jewels, there are quite a lot of good books on ASD, I would think if you looked at the resources section you'll come across some. Between those books and these forums I have learned all that I know, and both have been life-savers again and again, especially this forum.

[jewels]

Thank you, i know i need to find out a lot of things about Aspergers and see if i can help my son more.

I wrote out a timetable from 7.30m have breakfast, face and teeth, dressed, school stuff ready etc.. then from 3.30 (after school0 get changed, homework, tidy room (HAHAHA), and then from 8.30PM pj's, supper, read/tv then bed at 9pm and its really helping him but there are still a lot of things i dont understand like all the sensory stuff.

 

Im going to buy some books soon and try get some books that i can read with my son about AS/ASD as i need to try think of a way to explain that he has this before he finds out from someone else.

 

Thanx again

Julie xxx

[oracle]

lil me If you can find the link for children's socks Matthew will you forever

 

thanks

 

Carole

[nellie]

Welcome to the forum jewels,

 

Great place, great people, great advice.

 

You will find information on 'sensory stuff' here.

 

The sensory world of the autistic spectrum

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=299&a=3766

 

Nellie xx

[oracle]

I will try and find some links for you regarding autism and sensory issue. People with ASD can be hyper sensative with one of their senses and hypo sensative with another. The problem is this goes across the 5 senses. Some will be hyper sensative, as is far to sensative, and others hypo sensative meaning under sensative. It is a HUGE topic and it will take a good while tune in and decide which if any of your sons senses are affected. From the sounds of it your son has a sensitivity to sound but he may well have a sensative touch. Many of our children have sensory issues around food and drink. Many have a restricted diet because they can not stand the feel of a certain textures in their mouths. It's not as simple as not liking the taste of something. Many jump around because they are hypo sensative to movement and have to jump before they can feel a movement. Other hate lights and noise. I am so sorry it is complicated but really worth going into as it can be a great big part of their ASD.

 

I may well be shot at dawn for this but buy and read a book called 'The Curious Incidence of the Dog in the Night' You can buy it almost anywhere. It is fiction but very factual about AS.

 

Hope this helps?

 

Carole

[Kathryn]

Hi Julie and welcome,

 

Ah yes the coat and sock thing.. very familiar. My daughter who is 16 never wears a thin nylon raincoat as she doesn't like the feel or the smell. Many a day she has walked out into the pouring rain with nothing waterproof on at all.

 

I've only just persuaded her to start wearing socks - for years she would refuse with the result that she had very smelly trainers

 

I'm sure you'll find lots of information and support on here as I have. There's a lot to absorb, so take your time. There's always someone who can answer questions.

 

K

[smallworld]

I might (!) have mentioned this before, but tesco's school socks (10 pairs for �3 ) have the thinnest seam I have ever seen. I bought loads when they were half price (notice I am wearing a pair at the mo, grey is the new 'black' don't you know !!) my kids wear them inside out for extra no seam effect.

Swishy coats ! been there, and have been passed down a few from my NT nephew who can't bear the noise ! My son loves his denim jacket and his suede one too (not waterproof I know but it's a bit of protection against the cold )Thinking about it, he'd probably love a leather jacket(no, not the crawly type !!)

Labels are our other bugbear, they have to be unpicked not just cut off.

Just a few sensory things for you there, Jewels, welcome by the way

 

wac

[jewels]

Thank you all so much, even with the leaflets i've been given and websites i've been on i've never had so much input and great advice about my son and all the things that we have to deal with on a daily basis.

 

Its been great thank you <'>

[UltraMum]

Also can relate to the coat issue.

 

Anyone like to buy a hardly worn coat or two! he will only wear the tatty old school fleece ... even on holiday to Ibiza!

 

Seriously - Hi Julie and welcome

 

I did some work on sensory issues for my degree course last year: Link here

 

With regards to talking to Liam ...

 

The NAS do a good basic book called "I have autism - what's that?" Link here

 

Anyway - chin up and get stuck in - your son has a fantastic resource in his Mum!

[jewels]

Thanx for that, looked at the links and now understand a little better. As my kids are off school at the mo with the october break i am seeing things in a different light but my hubby says i shouldn't treat him any different than we did before his diagnosis but i cant help it, im much more calmer and don't shout at him so much now (i learned that a while ago as he used to cover his ears and shout back or run off)

 

He often covers his ears and shouts "CONFUSED.COM" from the advert LOL

 

Thanx again

julie xxx

[DaisyProudfoot]

Hi Julie,

 

Welcome to the forum - this is the bestest place ever

 

Socks and Coats. Martin (who is also 9 and was dx in June) has a big thing with socks. For many years we couldn't get them off his feet. He would wear the same pair all day and all night until we could eventually get him to change them. His psychologist says its the sensory thing - he probably didn't like the feel of the carpet on his feet when he got out of bed. He has a different carpet now and now we have difficulty getting him into socks

 

He has this lime green pair of socks which we notice come out when he's particularly stressed - infact that's sometimes how we can judge what kind of day he's going to have, depending on the lime green socks status. He had them on yesterday, we didn't comment to Martin although my husband did note: "It's a lime green socks day, better beware." Anyway it turned out they were having tests at school that day so all explained!

 

And Coats - he won't wear one - he will wear hoodies, especially a favourite red one. He got wrong for wearing it at school last week from someone who didn't know his condition and got so distressed about it he ended up giving himself a massive nosebleed poor thing.

 

Hang in there - getting a diagnosis does help a lot, we're already reaping the benefits for Martin both at school and at home - once you've got over all the negative aspects of AS you'll find a fascinating person in there - albeit hard work. I have 5 kids so I sympathise with you, it can be hard giving the attention he requires and will take a while for your other kids to understand his difficulties but you get there in the end.

 

By the way have a look at this website

 

http://www.autism-in-scotland.org.uk

 

It may prove quite useful along with the OASIS one mentioned earlier which is fab!

 

Weclome to the team,

Daisy

[oracle]

Here is a linl to the sensory issues in autism. http://firstclass.ultraversity.net/~eve.th...LM2/senses.html

 

It may look like a mine field - but if you take your time and read it a bit at a time eventually it should make sense.

 

I think that it is difficult just to carry on treating our children the same as before a dx because after a dx comes the understanding of their problems. If we understand then we modify and try to accomodate the ASD. That does not mean that ASD is a licence to do whatever we please. But it is worth bearing in mind that there are things that your son will find difficult and so he may well need to be handled in a different way to the other children.

 

Carole

Edited October 20, 2005 by carole

[jewels]

Thank you again for the replies and links.

Im finding this so hard to understand as there as so many things im starting to understand then have feelings of complete guilt at the way i have handled things before.

My older kids have started saying i favour him and i can see them thinking he "get's off" with some of his behaviour and although i have tried to explain to them im not sure they understand.

 

If anyone even goes near his room, even looking in it, he goes ballistic and screams at them to "get their face away from my room" and of course i try tell him that they're not doing anything but he gets in such a rage i feel the easiest way to deal with it it to tell whoever it is at his room to move.

 

Im a wee bit down today as i thought it would be nice to go feed the ducks with my 9 yr old son Liam (who has aspergers) and his little sister (7) who im not sure if she has the same or if she just copies him.

Anyway went to feed the ducks and it was a nightmare, he was terrified and screamed, cried and wouldnt move from the spot and if me, his dad or his sister went anywhere near the swans and ducks he screamed at us to get away and then said he wanted to get out of here. I had to carry him on my back to the car.

 

Ive taken them to feed the ducks before and he's also been with his auntie, uncle and little cousin (mind you they were in the pond then and this time they weren't) we ended up having to throw bread from inside the car and take him to a park afterwards to calm down.

 

Why did he act this way? He was actually terrified and i had never saw him like that before.

 

Julie xxx

[ediebee]

Julie I'm sure we all feel guilty at times over things we'd do differently with any of our children, not just our AS ones. We're all learning as we go along. Any grandparent always says they do a better job with their grandchildren at times than they did with their own. Try and not feel bad about mistakes, only wish I could take my own advice, I've been beating myself up about something I handled badly with my son, but he seems fine, so I think I will take my own advice after all ! Take care, I've been visiting the forum for ages but have only just starting to join in, but the info. and support is great

[oracle]

Try not feel guilty. It's easier said than done I know. I pushed my son through a system that was crippling him until he got his dx at 13. He then had a breakdown. But guilt is an unproductive emotion and sometimes it does allow us to feel sorry for our kids and 'give in' to them. Understand them by all means but AS is not an excuse for all evils.

 

Things change all of the time with our children, which is very odd given the fact that they themselves do not like change But we have cycles of behaviour and phobias. Matthew, 8, has suddenly become terrified of the Street Cleaning Machines that clean the city centre. They have never bothered him before but today he was quite happy to be hit by a car rather than stay anywhere near this cleaner. He was hysterical and has told me that he will NEVER go into the City again I tried asking him why but he can't tell me.

 

Also I know it is difficult, believe me I do, but it's no good trying to explain things to our kids that they have rigid ideas about. No matter how hard I have tried to explian to my two that the other does not mean anything by what they are doing , the one in question will not accept that. I now try not to say things like 'It does not matter' because clearly to them it does.

 

Maybe you are going to need a time to speak to your other children when their brother is not around - another thing mine hate is being talked about - it's a lot for them to take on board but even if they do not understand they will become familiar with some words that are new to them.

 

Above everything else give yourself a break. You are trying to take in so much so soon - it is hard - because your emotions will still be very raw at the moment and that's OK to. We all feel like this after a dx - it does get better - honest

 

<'> Carole

[jewels]

I know but i don't really have any family of my own i can talk to, me and my mum are not close at all (she says after she had me she didnt want another) so i have no brothers or sisters either so all i have is a few friends and my sister in law's who don't understand what im going through, they just say he needs a damn good hiding (i think not!!!!)

 

We had a BBQ for my eldest son's 18th on sunday 16th oct. and there was a lot of ppl there (mostly family as hubby has 4 brothers and sisters and all but 1 are married with kids)

Liam got a bit excited and jumped om my sis in law's back (his way of being happy to see someone) and she went a bit mad and stormed out of the house and said he was lucky she didnt throw him out the window

 

I was too upset to talk to her when she came back round and it hasnt been spoke about since as im not sure what exactly to say to her.

 

Liam actually said sorry to her which i was very pleased about as he doesn't say sorry very often and he realised he is getting big and can hurt ppl.

 

Slowly but surely im learning and it's mostly been through the last 24 hrs on here so a big thank you to everyone who has replied to me

 

Julie xxx

[nightingales]

Just a thought about the ducks -- has he been listening to reports about bird flu? My boy picks up on anything like that.

Lins

[jewels]

Oh yeah never thought of that 1

He listens to everything on TV and thinks everything is true and happening now etc... He even watches the weather and the next day if its not what they said he calls them a bunch of liars

 

Ive also been called a liar on many occasions if i have broke a promise of if something happens that i can't do what i said

 

Thank you for the insight tho

Julie xxx

[Flora]

Speaking of bird flu, my youngest son (ASD) is paranoid about it! He watches the news every morning before school and now he's petrified of anything to do with birds. He's worried that he'll get it, or that I'll get it and die!

 

Anyone elses kids picked up on this and got the wobbles?

 

Lauren

[nikrix]

Hi All

just been reading all the posts, cant believe it, all there little way. someone mentioned seamless socks, i have had battles with my daughter every morning for years she hates socks, she walks round with nothing on her feet, she screams, crys to get out of wearing sock just because of the seams.

nikrix

[asereht]

Hi jewels,

 

This site is great.

 

I have a 14yr old son with AS . look forward to chatting.

 

 

Theresa

[UltraMum]

Here is a link to the sensory issues in autism. http://firstclass.ultraversity.net/~eve.th...LM2/senses.html

 

It may look like a mine field - but if you take your time and read it a bit at a time eventually it should make sense.

 

That's me!!!!

 

Fame at last!

Edited October 21, 2005 by MotherEve

[UltraMum]

He listens to everything on TV and thinks everything is true and happening now etc... He even watches the weather and the next day if its not what they said he calls them a bunch of liars 

 

Ive also been called a liar on many occasions if i have broke a promise of if something happens that i can't do what i said 

We used to have this problem - when we went on EarlyBird training they suggested a symbol to represent a change in what had been said ... school used to put a yellow star on his timetable if there was a change so we went with that ...

 

Then we thought about it and we wouldn't always have a star handy so we added the word 'oops!' to the bottom of the star and also said 'oops!' whenever there was a change to what had been said or arranged... now we just have to say 'oops!' and he knows immediately that there will be a change ...

 

Just a thought ...

 

You may like to see if there is any EarlyBird Plus training

 

What is the NAS EarlyBird Plus Programme?

 

Following the success of the EarlyBird pre-school programme, The National Autistic Society (NAS) has developed a modified programme to meet the needs of families whose child has received a later diagnosis (four-eight years) and is in Early Years or Key Stage One provision.

 

The EarlyBird Plus programme addresses the needs of both home and school settings by training parents/carers together with a professional who is working regularly with their child.

 

NAS EarlyBird Plus uses the established EarlyBird framework of teaching about autism before considering how to develop communication or manage behaviour. The programme consists of eight groups sessions, interspersed with two home visit weeks which allow participants to individualise what they are learning. A follow-up session is held six months after the programme

 

or

 

HELP! Training

Who is the programme for?

 

The programme is for parents or full-time carers of children aged 5+ or in full-time education, young people or adults who have a recent diagnosis of an autistic spectrum disorder (within the last twelve months). However, some programmes will be run for parents where the diagnosis was made over a year ago. The help! programme will be offered in three age groups, though the demand will determine which age group will be covered in each location and whether the focus will be autism or Asperger syndrome. The age groups are 5 - 11, 12 - 16, 17 to adult. The programme consists of an introductory day, six three-hour core sessions, a closing/farewell session and will be delivered flexibly to respond to local circumstances.

 

in your area ...

[DaisyProudfoot]

Thank you again for the replies and links.

Im finding this so hard to understand as there as so many things im starting to understand then have feelings of complete guilt at the way i have handled things before.

My older kids have started saying i favour him and i can see them thinking he "get's off" with some of his behaviour and although i have tried to explain to them im not sure they understand.

 

If anyone even goes near his room, even looking in it, he goes ballistic and screams at them to "get their face away from my room" and of course i try tell him that they're not doing anything but he gets in such a rage i feel the easiest way to deal with it it to tell whoever it is at his room to move.

 

Im a wee bit down today as i thought it would be nice to go feed the ducks with my 9 yr old son Liam (who has aspergers) and his little sister (7) who im not sure if she has the same or if she just copies him.

Anyway went to feed the ducks and it was a nightmare, he was terrified and screamed, cried and wouldnt move from the spot and if me, his dad or his sister went anywhere near the swans and ducks he screamed at us to get away and then said he wanted to get out of here. I had to carry him on my back to the car.

 

Ive taken them to feed the ducks before and he's also been with his auntie, uncle and little cousin (mind you they were in the pond then and this time they weren't) we ended up having to throw bread from inside the car and take him to a park afterwards to calm down.

 

Why did he act this way? He was actually terrified and i had never saw him like that before.

 

                                      Julie xxx

 

Jewels, regarding your comment about your kids saying you favour Liam. My eldest son is having similar problems with understanding my AS son (who is also 9). His tag on here is Destrum and I'm sure he would appreciate sharing some of his experiences with your older ones.

 

Daisy