Huge row over MMR jab at work!

[supersec]

Very very upset and angry, have just had a huge row with one of my colleagues, about getting my DS's booster MMR jab. I would prefer him to have it done individually as i think the MMR is not necessarily a good thing. have desparately been trying to find somewhere local to me that do jabs indivdually and have been meet with a brick wall and have now been informed that you can't get them anymore?!?!?

 

Anyway I suppose I was being a bit silly and said to the girls I work with that that had really annoyed me when this one colleague told me not to be so stupid and to get his booster done, I said that i was worried about him regressing and she said so what does that matter it is better for him to regress than to get measles. I flew off the handle and shouted at her that she would not say that if it was her child and stormed out.

 

I have, as I am an adult, apologised for shouting at her but now she refuses to speak to me. Not that I am too worried as it is quite common for her to "sulk" but it is creating an atmosphere.

 

Am i overreacting to both these things?

 

Caroline

[oracle]

You have to live with ASD to understand it and your work mate does not. It's like everything else in this world until it actually happens to you then we do not really want to know.

 

I am not like this since my two sons were diagnosed but sadly I have realised that most people are.

 

I personally think that you did not over react and I think you have done enough by saying sorry.

 

<'> Carole

 

PS Bet this woma cries if she breaks a finger nail (sorry)

[bid]

Caroline <'>

 

I don't think you over-reacted at all!

 

You have apologised for shouting...

 

She should apologise for making a crass, insensitive remark about Autism!

 

It's this sort of thing that is increasingly making me shut down from the NT world

 

Bid <'>

[ceecee]

You did not over react.I would have reacted in the same way.This womam doesn't know what she is talking about.She very likely knows very little about asd therefore she should have said nothing.You always get people everywhere who think they know everything about everything.We have a woman like this where I work.She thinks she knows all about kids and parenting.She doesn't even have any kids.She knows all about driving.She cant even drive!I endevour to bight my tongue but often dont succeed.She sits right behind me and moans about kids all day long.If she had children she would be a better person than she is.Anyway rant over!

I would say ignore her or calmly say to her You don't know what your talking about you dont have a child with asd.It is your choice what to do, not for other people to comment on.

[alibaly]

the single vaccines are still availabale, you just have to find them, contact 'jabs'

 

 

 

and for what its worth I don't think you over reacted

[Guest hallyscomet]

Hi,

 

I think you should get her to have a look at this website, that will show her face value what the MMR has done to a lot of children, my son especially.

 

You keep that smile on your dial. <'> Remember you will always come across a sceptic, the best advice I was given was to give them a "NO REACTION REACTION"

they're not worth it. They're ignorant, you could be a Professor with a PHD etc etc, and not matter what your tell those type of individuals about Autism - they just don't get it. (I am talking about my Ex here) I had 10 Professionals at a round table conference trying to educate him on my sons condition- he still didn't buy it, plain fat DENIAL.

 

You go out and have yourself a great day, don't try an educate a twit that doesn't want to be educated.

 

Love Hailey <'> <'> <'>

[puffin]

I don't think you have overeacted at all - what a horrible remark to say that brain damage is better than getting the measles - does this person have any children herself?

 

Don't tack it personally - hope fully she is not speaking to you because she's TOO EMBARRASSED - or at least she should be!

[lisann]

Hi Good on you for saying your peace.We have to live with ASD and understably you are worried about the MMR Booster.I think you appoligised therefore it's the womans silly fault if she wants to sulk let her.

 

Lisa x

 

P.S Keep strong

[jayjay]

Hi if it is of any help if u type into your search bar on websites in the uk and put autism and mmr it comes up with aload of sites for the single jabs and personnelly i think u were in the right aswell

[nikrix]

Hi my daughter had the MMR and went on to have epilepsy and ASD.

 

when my son was born i decided not to to give him the MMR. Was it the right decision, i dont know but i feel it is right because of what happened to my daughter.

 

So many people have given me their views and think they know best, but who does know. I wish i knew.

nikrix x

[Lucas]

I have said to people many times before on this board "Is a dead child with measles better than a living Autistic one?" and I don't feel at all ashamed. However, I do understand that as it is an extremely emotive statement, the response is likely to be just as emotive. I know when I say this to someone, it's a tad hypocritical to then accuse them of emotive burdening.

 

However, one lie about Autism repeated again and again by the vaccine-causes-Autism(not all but some) camp is that Autism is brain damage or is caused by brain damage caused by vaccines. There are plenty of studies which had set out to corrolate each area of damage with the loss of the related function and the results in Autistics came back contradicting the expected outcome; the Autistics still often performed better than NT controls.

 

So I do have one slightly emotive question: If and why do you think describing Autistic people as 'brain-damaged' is not harmful to us?

[baddad]

So I do have one slightly emotive question: If and why do you think describing Autistic people as 'brain-damaged' is not harmful to us?

Hi Lucas -

I have one slightly emotive response...

 

For those parents who's children function at the most severe end of the spectrum: who cannot feed themselves, clothe themselves, toilet themselves or care for themselves in any way that would allow them to live without around the clock support...

how can you draw a distinction between autism and brain damage?

 

I've said it before and i'll say it again: YOUR experience as an autistic person can be a million miles away from the experiences of another autistic person. You have a shared diagnosis, not a shared perception. I do not believe that you are INHERENTLY any more qualified to speak about somebody elses POV than anyone else on this forum, AS, ASD or otherwise. you have valuable insight and perspectives, undoubtedly, but perhaps (just perhaps) your own autism limits your ability to see that they may not be all encompassing. When you say something that seems to apply to my son, I'll listen. When you say something that seems irrelevent TO HIM (but may be useful to someone else) please allow me to disregard it without taking it as a personal attack...

Laters

BD

[Lucas]

Then you consider me nothing more than a self-narrating zoo exhibit Baddad; like the anti-Autism lobbies across the pond, what an Autistic says only matters if it's what a parent wants to hear. Their arguement for excluding us from making decisions about ourselves is first that our condition doesn't permit us to have an enlightened perspective, second that we have limited use in determining the needs of other Autistics because we are nothing like other Autistics. It doesn't matter that I was misdiagnosed, I was not and still am not very able yet others insist on placing me on a convenient end of a scale and measure that doesn't exist. My first-person experience has been broad and the best ego-swelling comment ever made about me was that concerning Autism I had forgotted more than anyone will ever know.

 

I often find myself suprised that NTs can tell the difference between their arses and elbows, the only consistent and reliable thing about them is that they are unpredictable, erratic and unreasonable. I could easily conclude that you all must blanketly be brain damaged in some way and if there was a more equal Autistic/Neurotypical ratio in the population a seriously convincing case could be made which influences public policy on how NTs are viewed and treated.

 

who cannot feed themselves, clothe themselves, toilet themselves or care for themselves in any way that would allow them to live without around the clock support...

 

I can't do any of those things unless under very specific conditions, that is the same case for ANY Autistic and I can say that without assuming anything, do you think I'm brain damaged?

 

I do not draw a line between Autism and brain damage because you can have brain damaged Autistics and non-brain damaged Autistics. What you can not have is brain damage causing Autism, it doesn't matter how many times those notion are debunked, they will keep trying to replicate studies with increasingly loaded dice until they get the result that they want, which is how Autism came to be so demonised to begin with.

[call me jaded]

Perhaps Lucas should do his own editing this time?

 

Lucas you need a more sophisitcated argument than personal attack if you're going to convince people like me.

[barefoot wend]

For what it's worth I think there is some truth in both sides and Lucas you could never, ever be an 'exhibit ' but a role model.

 

Edited to apologise for sounding over-bearingly patronising - didn't mean to.

Edited November 4, 2005 by barefoot wend

[lil_me]

Your friend I believe was wrong to question your feelings toward this issue, I have quite strong feelings on this but will no criticise others for making a decision that they believe is best for their child unless they are directly harming the child by doing so. I believe these single vaccinations are still available but was told they would be only done privately soon.

 

My belief is pretty solid on this, until proven otherwise I believe the MMR had no influence on my sons condition. I know of 2 people who have lost children through measles, 4 who are brain damaged through measles, and one who was close to it last year. Became a bit of an epidemic around here babies especially due to people not vaccinating children and my friends daughter ended up seriously ill, but so far thanfully has made what appears to be a full recovery. Didn't help she also lost her cousin to measles so the worry was understandably horrible for her. She will now understandably have a go at anyone who starts saying about not vaccinating their children.

[Lucas]

Jaded, you must have missed a lot of points and sentences to have come to the conclusion that my last post was a personal attack.

[Elefan]

All,

 

My instinct was to close this topic along with the other one that Kris closed.

 

However, I saw that as deeply unfair to Supersec who was looking for a shoulder yesterday.

 

So, I am appealing to you all to put this thread back on track and in the fashion that we pride ourselves on. Support, listening, empathy, and advice where possible.

 

For over two years we have managed to remain largely diplomatic, polite, and with the unique ability to 'self-moderate'. It has made us very proud indeed of our forum. You are the one's who deserve the praise for achieving this.

 

Please don't let things degenerate because Autism, by it's very nature can be an emotive subject with far reaching consequences on the lives it touches,..both for the better and sadly at times, for the worse. We are all on the same side and united by ASD.

 

 

Kindest regards,

 

Elefan

[call me jaded]

Just to clarify, I don't think the personal attack is on me.

 

Supersec I'm sorry this isn't anything to do with your original question. I will exercise a bit of self-restraint and not post further on this thread.

[asereht]

Caroline I don't think you over reacted you have every right to your opinion.

 

I have recently learned that none of my work mates understand how things are for my son and I now I keep my private life just that and believe me it saves a lot of heartache and hurt feelings on my part.

 

 

Your work mate is being very childish not talking to you.

 

Theresa.

 

 

Lucas your posts are always interesting to read but try not too get too worked up about things, it can lead to hurt feelings if people take things the wrong way. You are very strong in your opinions ,both of my sons are like you , if they have an opinion they stick to it no matter what. My eldest son 19 and NT trys his best to get other people to see things his way and like him I think you would do very well in any debate on any subject you felt strongly about. I don't think you mean to attack people personally. I do not agree with the whole MMR causing Autism thing but everyone is allowed to have their own beliefs it would be a boring world if we all thought the same and we must respect other peoples opinions.

Edited November 5, 2005 by asereht