oracle Report post Posted March 2, 2006 Today I hosted my Aunt's 80th Birthday which was a huge success Both boys were brilliant, they both love my Aunt and also one of my Uncles, who shares their toilet humour, dearly. Matthew has been in stitches all day. Of all of my relatives the oldies, and I do mean oldies, that we entertained today accept both lads warts and all and never make or pass judgements. I love em all to bits Midway through the afternoon the phone rang and Terry answered I could hear that he was talking to someone who was upset. I could tell by the tone of his voice. He passed me a name and number and said 'I have promised that you will ring this lady sooner rather than later.' I rang back as soon as I could and spoke to a Mum whose son is six and now has a dx of ADHD and HFA. The HFA was only added in December but the ADHD was dx'd at the age of 3. This child has never had any support at all in school, but the school have pushed and pushed until the child's Consultant gave in and prescribed Ritalin. This Consultant felt that the child was too young and also as his behaviour at home is managable, she questioned if she should be prescribing it just because school were demanding this? I agree. Well Mum has not been happy since her son started taking the Ritalin the dose of which has been increased 4 times - again at the insistence of the school. During the holidays she decided to take her son off the drug. He was not eating and was not sleeping well. She said that last week school never said a word. However yesterday she was called in and asked if son was still taking Ritalin - she said no - they were not happy. Today she was pulled in again and told that they expect the Ritalin to be given again as her son is un-managable. It was at this point that Mum began to cry and I do mean cry. Son - who was in another room - heard Mum crying and came and started sobbing himself and repeating 'I promise that I will not be naughty at school tomorrow Mum' This is probably the most emotional call that I have ever taken The behaviour that the school are complaining about is not what I expected to hear about. The child it appears, lies on the floor looking at the ceiling when he does not want to join in with the others in the class. He shouts out inappropriately, and wait for it has said the word s**t twice I had expected to be told that the child was aggresisve and was flying into rages at the drop of a hat but no it is this behaviour which is causing them a problem. All of the time we were talking this Mum continued to cry - they really have done a blooming good job of making her feel s**t. The problem is I fear that the school being in a very residential part of our City only likes 'nice' children with no SEN, those who do have SEN are not welcome. I also fear that should the new White Paper become law this kind of 'Cherry Picking' will actually be legal. We have agreed a plan of action and I hope that this Mum at least knows that she is no longer alone. But this has really upset me today. When are things ever going to change? Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
asereht Report post Posted March 2, 2006 This is sad and even sadder I don't think things are going to change . I am in Ireland and things are as bad if not worse. NO-ONE ever listens to parents, and schools think thay should have the final say in everything! How DARE any school insist a child takes medication Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted March 2, 2006 I got called a w*ank*r today by a yr 4 child with adhd, he got a bit of talking to and that was it (fine with me) what would this school have done here - have him shot? This school are bang out of order - this is way beyond their rights. I hope they get a right rollicking over this. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted March 3, 2006 (edited) Who the b****y hell do they think they are. Like most others, I have always said that I would only consider meds for my son if it was to help HIM and not for a school to have a quiet life, also it would be our decision and nobody else's, and if we think it's best for him then we would go ahead, what awful pressure to put on this child and his mum. They obviously think this is the only route, and the behaviour you say they mentioned is certainly not the most disruptive! my son does these things all the time, but with some distractions and strategies put in place, then it is manageable. This sort of thing really p****s me off! What makes them think that they have the power to tell the consultant whats best. That poor mum and little boy. <'> Brook PS, I'm glad your gathering went well Carole. Edited March 3, 2006 by Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justamom Report post Posted March 3, 2006 This poor mother is so confused by the school insisting that her son take Ritalin just to make their lives easier. How dare they tell her when to give HER son medicine - thats out of order. I was also shocked to hear from your post that his behaviour was a few swear words and not behaviour that is really not that major!!! to deal with. Poor lady, i'm glad you were there to help out Carole justamom Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
call me jaded Report post Posted March 3, 2006 Schools in the US regularly insist on students being given medication. It does not surprise me in the least, I'm sorry to say. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elainem Report post Posted March 3, 2006 I despair. Carole, at least she now has your support. Elaine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zemanski Report post Posted March 3, 2006 The kids I've taught with ADHD who take ritalin are the ones climbing on the roofs and screaming obscenities who cannot sit still and honestly can't function either in school or at home. Every one of the parents, without exception, has decided with their consultant that this was the best course for the child and both the children and the parents have said that it has changed their lives for the better and continued the use after an intitial trial. But this child does not fit the picture, he should not be on drugs if his behaviour is stable in one environment and so minorly difficult in another - I'd like to see how this school would handle a 'real' ADHD child . What support does he have for his ASC? What adjustments have been made to accomodate his unusual learning styles and sensitivities? Drugs are not a substitute for good practice and effective strategies I hope you told this mum to go back to the consultant and ask him to write a strong letter to the school explaining that this form of management is not appropriate for this boy, the impact on him is obviously not positive and the drugs are causing problems!!!! aaaaaaargh!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted March 3, 2006 That's absolutely terrible. Who the hell do they think they are?? Carole, glad she now has you behind her. Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarerQuie Report post Posted March 3, 2006 That is outrageous.Glad you were able to help.xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted March 3, 2006 I have spoken to the Outreach Team this morning at length and also spoke to Mum again. I am going to see her on Sunday to help draft a letter for the school and other LEA bods. She was calmer today but still quite upset. The more she tells me the worse it gets The Consultant was so concerned about giving Ritalin that she insisted on a meeting with school and even then was not happy to prescribe the drug. Hopefully we can turn this one around and kick some butt along the way Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bullet Report post Posted March 3, 2006 Surely it's not up to the school to demand what medicine a child takes - especially when the different behaviour is so restrained? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted March 3, 2006 If the consultant was so concerned about prescribing the drug why on earth did she let the school brow beat her into doing this? Would she let a parent bully her into doing the same? The school are well out of order but the consultant has to shoulder some of the guilt on this as well! I hope somebody somewhere makes an offical issue over this and the rocket is duly aimed at the required bodily oriffice! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LKS Report post Posted March 3, 2006 Oh Carole <'> <'> to the mum and her poor son. I think Phas is right the consultant should not have allowed herself to be bullied by the school unless they grossly exagerrated his behaviour. Speaking as a parent of 2 sen children who have attended a 'nice' primary in a residential area I wholeheartedly agree SEN children are not made very welcome by the Head and Senco particularly. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted March 3, 2006 Hi Carole, This poor mum and her child. This school's attitude has made me so angry and the consultant too for prescribing the drug with what is basically without the mum's permission. Ooooohhhh I'm all tight inside thinking about this. How bl**dy dare they It's just not on. Thank god she rang you - surely this against human rights - forcing someone to give medication to their child. It's just bl**dy shocking ...christ it's no wonder you were so upset. Glad you're there to help her out.....the poor thing. <'> Why is it sometimes you just can't write down the emotions you feel inside .... Jeez........ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jen Report post Posted March 3, 2006 The mom needs to contact the consultant and explain why she was brought into school and the reasons why. The consultant will then not issue another prescription and therefore that problem is taken out of her hands. Obviously the school have made things seem much worse than they really are. What does the head psy say in his report of things he has witnessed in the school. The staff do not understand that some children have died using ritalin and it can cause serious problems. This woman needs moral support and help. Jen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted March 3, 2006 (edited) The Consultant insisted on the meeting with the school and not the other way round. The Consultant wanted to do a follow up meeting in January and is still waiting for the school to arrange this The boy came off the medication three weeks ago now and I don't think that his Mum will put him back onto this medication again - or any other for now. The Ed Psy has not seen the boy for some time now and not since his dx of HFA. That is why we are requesting an emergency review with all of the important bods that need to be there being there. Even the Outreach Team have not seen the boy as the school have never asked for their input and as it stands don't have to Hopefully now they are clued up and raring to go things will progress but in general this school does not appear to be SEN friendly Carole Edited March 3, 2006 by carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
