Well I finally snapped

[Cariad]

Got up this morning to be faced with the DS and a room full of poo, he had it everywhere on his arms/legs/hands and was making a poo picture on his sheets too. I gave him a soak in the bath and I have the other sheets soaking in the bath it was that thick!

 

Then after dropping off DD1 at her friends I went to the Dr's to get his Ritalin as we have run out and the DS is unbearable and has been hitting me and kicking/biting all morning. I was told that he couldn't have any more unless he has a blood test, the "Doctor" (who BTW has no bedside manner and very rude) said the blood test will take a week to get done etc. I then said to him, please can I have some for him in the meantime look what he's like, the DS was screaming names at me and punching me in the back. He smuggly said "NO".

 

I then threw my hand back to push DS off me as he was really going for it with the punching, I then caught him in the stomach, he rolled on the floor screaming "you have hurt me mummy, you hit me in the tummy and I can't breathe". I then burst into tears and begged for some ritalin the receptionist said no make an appointment first for a blood test. I then lost it and said "You have no idea what it's like" and walked off fast without DS and taking DD2 crying.

 

I'm crushed and feel awful, the DS caught up screaming "You fatty, you are the worst mother in the world"

I tried to ring the SW "No reply". I feel like I'm drowning..

[ASue67]

I don't know what to say that would help you or make you feel better but thought you would be in need of some of these

 

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Hope you get through to SW soon and get something sorted out.

 

Take care x

[Cariad]

Thanks for the hugs.

 

The thing is we have a helper who takes DS out, and psychologist coming out tomorrow for a crisis visit to help with the DS. I have all these things in place and still do something so unforgiveable.

[ASue67]

It is not unforgiveable and it perfectly understandable.

Don't be so hard on yourself hun.

 

Take some deep breaths and don't dwell on what happened this morning too much.

I hope you get some more help and support soon.

 

Take care xxx <'> <'>

[Pippin]

You have NOT done anything unforgivable!!! That honour goes to your GP and receptionist!!! Reacting as you did is totally understandable. I dont know what planet some people are on these days when they sit there smugly behind a desk and refuse to help people in trouble. Keep ringing the SW and also keep ringing the surgery to demand to see someone. Your case is as much an emergency as anyone else. Often the only way to get help is to make a COMPLETE nuisance of yourself. Also, if you cant get through to your own SW is there an emergency number you can try?? ...And dont forget you can always come here for a scream.

[Cariad]

Thank you so much, the DH has come home as I've totally lost it today. I have the pooey sheets in the bath and have no motivation, I even opened the red wine and downed half a bottle. I can see why people totally crack, the support you get is nil. I will keep ringing the SW, when they see me I joke it all away because I'm not an emotional person. I keep things down and then totally lose it!

[madme]

If it is your Gp who prescribes the ritalin then he should know that he can IMO keep prescribing while awaiting the blood test. This is what my son's consultant does. Have you had a CHAMs referral? If not seek one. Your Gp sounds like a smug idiot. Would he say the same to a diabetic? Good luck. Dont be hard on yourself.

[Bard]

The only person who will have a hard time forgiving is you. Give yourself a break!

It was an unbelievably stressful situation, beginning in the morning with you waking up to poo everywhere and an unrepentant son. You handled that, then went to where you had every right to expect help and got none, nor any sympathy or practical alternative suggestions. You were also managing 2 other children at the same time, and tomorrow is a long way off when the problem is hitting you today.

 

You didn't punch him, you fended him off to prevent yourself from being hurt, and caught him in the stomach.

" I then threw my hand back to push DS off me as he was really going for it with the punching, I then caught him in the stomach, he rolled on the floor screaming "you have hurt me mummy, you hit me in the tummy and I can't breathe". "

 

If he can't breathe, what's he using to scream with? He had enough breath to catch up and yell at you, and you took him home. You are not the worst mother in the world. You are amazing, pushed to the limits of your endurance and he's still shoving. A bad mother would have him sleeping in the bathroom and turn on the powershower every morning, or have beaten him black and blue.

You didn't ask for much from the GP, and you didn't even get that. No way could that man cope with parenting your son, the challenge would be beyond him.

You deserve and need more help, so you are going to have to take a leaf out of his book and be as difficult and demanding as possible, with anyone who is in a position to help.

Huge waves of sympathy coming your way, and I hope that the rest of your day is calmer.

Edited August 15, 2007 by Bard

[Cariad]

madme he is under Chams, I've phoned the psychiatrist there and she is in after 2pm and I'll get some from her. Also my Dr won't prescribe melatonin for the DS as "he doesn't believe in it" I mean what is that all about??

 

Bard thanks for your reply, I know you are right. I'm so stressed atm, we have spent �5,000 on a tribunal for the DS and have had hardly any sleep for about 11 years (another DS occurance), and with the constant hitting and biting and name calling from the DS to all of us and the lack of help for the Dr I lost it. People don't realise how hard it is, to paint on a smile when everyday is a sheer struggle. Even at night there is no rest. I'm even hitting the bottle for a bit of respite!

[darky]

Cariad, you have my utmost sympathy. You have just described my daughter unmedicated. Poo smearing, violent and not under any control at all. I would react the same way if someone stopped her medication or delayed a perscription meaning she went without. Just who do they think they are punishing? Your poor child, Im sure he does not want to feel out of control, and poor you having to clean that up first thing in the morning and being attacked, I remember it all to well.

 

Unmedicated, children like this, well it goes beyond hard work, its like mental and physical torture. It takes just about all of anyone's human endurance to stay sane and not loose it, I KNOW because I have been there. My daughter pre medication was simply the hardest thing I have ever done and likely to do. I dont know what I would do to have her unmedicated for even a single day, not because I am impatient, because of what its like for her and the rest of us. HORRENDOUS.

 

It should be discrimination to withhold medication for a child that needs it. A doctor would not with hold meds for diabetes, I fail to see the difference.

 

Be kind to yourself, there are those who understand, although I know from experience, that is not much comfort. I hope you get the meds for your son soon, for both your sakes. <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[ellisisamazing]

You have done nothing wrong at all! You have just tried to get some much needed medication for your DS. You are a good Mum and the GP should be ashamed of himself, if this situation has been witnessed by him, he obviously kn ows that you are desperate.

 

I am disgusted by the GP and the receptionist....they have no idea!

 

Try and get a break now that your DH is back home...drink the whole bottle and try and sleep! <'>

 

Lisa xx

[Bagpuss]

Cariad <'> <'> <'>

[cmuir]

Hi

 

You're only human (not superwoman!) and have a lot to deal with - far more than most people (your GP obviously lives in his own perfect little bubble).

 

First thing you need to do is change your GP. You need one that shows some signs of being human! Big problem with GPs are that they are General Practitioners - basically means very few specialise in a particular area/they have general expertise. Sometimes they need reminded of this.

 

Caroline.

[Frangipani]

Cariad <'> <'> <'>

 

Wow poor you, smug so and so. I would be writing to the local MP about this. Don't take it lying down, you get up and make sure he never treats ayone like this again. Procedures or not this is absolutely appalling.

 

<'>

 

love

Frang x

[pearl]

Cariad, another <'> for you.

[elun1]

<'> <'> <'> I just read this and wanted to send some <'> <'> <'> What a terrible doctor and receptionist. You have done NOTHING wrong, it is people like that who drive people already at breaking point to beyond it. I've got to go as it's chaos here but I'm thinking about you

Elun xxx <'> <'> <'>

[ASue67]

Hope you are feeling a bit less stressed now? Tomorrow is another day!

 

Take care <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[soraya]

my heart goes out to you it is not easy dealing with a violent childs, i loose it when nick wees on the floor, poo must be awfull. You should be able to get a emergency SW, i did this once when nick was beating me, the more fuss you make, and the more doors you bang on the better. You are a fantastic mum, doing a very hard job. :notworthy: