Emum

I posted this thread about 18 months ago and got some fantastic advice. http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...ic=2790&hl= We persevered for about 20 months in total with no nappies and constant accidents, and tried all of the advice, some of which worked a bit for a while, but were in despair that she would ever get there in the end. But Ta-Na - suddenly in the last few weeks the penny has dropped! She has simultaneously become day and night trained. She takes herself off to the toilet when she needs it, and performs pretty well (although when at home doesn't always remember to put pants and trousers back on!), and when we are out she asks. She'll be 6 in a few weeks time, and her cognitive age is about 3, so I think she was just at last developmentally ready for it. I just wanted to share in case there was anyone now in the place I was in last September. There is light at the end of the tunnel!

When allocating resources - eg SLT, respite, holiday play schemes, etc - do you look at the needs of the parents or the needs of the child? In our area resources are allocated according to the needs of the parents only. This isn't me making a wild political statement based on obeservations of others, but the LA's published policy. This means that if you are an unemployed single parent of a child with a mild disability you get everything going, even if your child could in fact cope perfectly well in a mainstream holiday provision for example with some support, but if your home circumstances are more comfortable but your child is quite profoundly disabled, they have no chance of any holiday provision, even though they couldn't cope in a mainstream provision with all the support in the world, and get little other services! I often feel I will end up saying to E when she was older "sorry darling but we had to choose whether you would have a happy childhood with both parents at home, or some support from the LA which might have meant that you could now communicate independently, and we chose to make you happy" Seems mad to me!

Activating the child safety locks in the back seat would be a good start to make sure she is safe. You only have to do this once, then once they are on the doors can only be opened from the outside. Otherwise a strip pinned to the window on her side (using whatever level communication she understands) showing that the car must have stopped and mummy or daddy said a trigger word before she can get out, otherwise there will be a sanction. Hope this helps

Try not to panic! I had a really nasty tummy bug in the run up to Christmas and it took me several days to recover my appetite, so it may still just be that she is recovering from the after effects. She may also be associating the mushed up food with being sick, particularly if she had eaten this on the day she was ill for the first time. If this is the case, I think you need to be sensitive to this. I am not autistic but I remember as a young teenager trying to tell my mother that fried food made me feel extremely ill, and her refusing to listen and serving up very high fat meals 3-4 times a week. I was vomiting 2 or 3 times a week for years and ended up having to have my gall bladder removed at the age of 20, as I genuinely couldn't cope with digesting large amounts of fat. Since then, I've been very sensitive to my children telling me that any food makes them feel ill! I would go with the little amounts to start, and build up from there strategy. Maybe try 5 small meals a day rather than 3 big ones, so its not so overwhelming. Try and include a mix of things you know she likes and will eat with one thing which she is finding more difficult, and lots of praise if she manages a very small mouthful of the problem food. If she gags, I really wouldn't push it, as if you try to force feed something which makes her sick, she is not going to eat it again ever! Maybe you could put a little of the food she is rejecting on a bit of the food she likes and entice her back to it like that - eg a small amount of the cottage pie (say a quarter of a teaspoon) on a chip. I'm also a great believer in looking on the bright side with nutritional issues when you have a picky child. You might prefer them to eat more than fishfingers and chips, but if both are cooked in the oven, and you pick products with no artificial colours or preservatives, and maybe add some baked beans, your child is in fact having a fairly healthy meal of fish, carbohydrates and protein. If the child will only eat yoghurts, you can choose ones with low sugar and high fruit contents, cereals can be sugar free and wholegrain, etc. Its not perfect or the whole solution, but it stops you panicking about the whole situation, and often when everybody relaxes around the table, the problems solve themselves

When the Ruth Kelly story was being reported, the newspapers said that Tower Hamlets, where she lives, was in the top 5 local authorities for Special Educational Needs, which suggests there is a league table published somewhere. I'd be inclined to google and see if you can find that, and if not make some enquiries of Dfes direct. If that doesn't work, or even if it does, when you have an idea about roughly where in London you want to live, you can then approach the LEA to ask what specialist provision for ASDs is available in the borough, if any, and also if they can give you any stats about the number of ASD children in the borough and whether they are in special or mainstream provision. This info should be publicly available (if necessary you can do a Freedom of Info request, but it shouldn't be necessary), and will give you a feel for how the borough treats its ASD students, and whether it is an inclusive borough or not. If the precise area you want is not good on SEN, you may find that by moving a few miles down the road to another borough the situation is much better.

This has happened to other customers in the past, and Tesco have paid compensation for the damage done. Check out this link Tesco bleach Take some photos of the damage, work out how much it would cost to replace the carpet, and ask Tesco for some compensation in respect of it. If you don't get any joy, check your household insurance to see if you are covered.

The problem is that they don't have any hands-on experience to rely on. Rather than do nothing at all, they are asking you for your opinion, as you have more experience than they do. Whilst I can see that this is putting pressure on you, it is better than them just ignoring the problem, surely? They have also, you say, invested money in training so they know the theory. Given that they haven't, you think, ever had an ASD child at the school, it is difficult to see what more you could ask of them. Your options are: 1. to move your child to school which has educated ASD children in the past (but it may not be as willing as your child's school to consult you about problems, and is more, rather than less, likely to stereotype your child and treat him in the same way as "all autistic chidren") 2. to find an expert, whom you could suggest the school calls in for advice - an outreach service from a special school, a psychologist or SALT specialising in autism, an EP with expertise here. 3. to bear with it for the time being, and to focus your efforts on educating one or two key members of staff about your son, so that they can then pass the info on to the other members of staff. Hopefully things will get easier. It's easy to think that school should be the experts, but actually you know more about your child and how he reacts in situations than school does, whether they have in the past educated 500 ASD children or none. My DD is lucky enough to be in a special school, but nonetheless I am still asked regularly about what strategies work for her at home, and I do feel on lots of occasions that I know more about what will work for her in a given situation than school, notwithstanding their huge experience of other ASD children. I would feel a huge loss if I wasn't being consulted for views on this. There is just no such thing as the perfect school with all the answers for our children, but it doesn't sound on the basis of what you have posted, like your child's school is doing a bad job (unless of course there is more going on behind this than you say) They key thing is that they accept him and are trying to help (if they were trying subtly to squeeze him out, as has happened to so many other ASD children in mainstream schools it would be so much worse).

The reason I posted the question is that a lot of parents in my area are being told by SALT that their child is on the autistic spectrum, without any further referrals to other professionals. This is the basis on which their child is then statemented. My understanding was that SALTs did not have power formally to diagnose, as this was something only a doctor or psychologist could do, but I haven't been able to find anything in writing to back this up, and the SALT professional guidelines are not available online to the general public, and cost �40 to order a hard copy. If anyone does know the answer, particularly the SALT who used to post here, though I haven't seen her on for ages, I would still be grateful for a response.

I've just noticed that Eva is posting from Australia and some our kids fads probably aren't quite so relevant there - eg UK football, Doctor Who and our domestic TV shows. I guess Star Wars will be universally popular though. Perhaps Eva might find some more locally relevant info on some Australian family sites though? (Just about the interests of 6 year old NT Australian boys I mean of course. It is otherwise great to have her posting on here!)

My NT DS is 6, will be 7 later this month. Thomas has been a big no no for a few years now. He is a big Star Wars fan, also Doctor Who. Also likes programmes on CBBC, especially Raven and Legend of the Dragon. This seems to be par for the course with his friends, and they are all also getting into football too and picking which teams they want to support. At a push he would still show an interest in Batman, though this is fizzling out too, but TBH not sure he or any of his contemporaries would now admit to liking Scooby Doo, even if they may still watch it secretly!

Does anyone know whether a SALT is allowed under professional rules to diagnose ASD (or anything else for that matter) without reference to a psychologist, psychiatrist, paediatrician, or any other professional for that matter? I was under the impression that this was at least contrary to their professional code of conduct, but can't now find what I have based that impression on, and it has come up a couple of times with friends whose children have been "diagnosed" following a single assessment by a SALT with no reference to a wider team. If anyone could point me in the right direction on this, I'd be grateful.

Hubbie did this on my birthday last year. He took out �100 (eek!) or rather I should say didn't take it out, because he walked away without lifting it. We only realised at the end of the evening, when the time came to pay the bill, which did slightly take the shine off the evening...

There are, as the press have quoted, some special schools still functioning in Tower Hamlets, however what the press have not made clear is that the admissions policy for these schools is strictly defined, and none of them would be suitable for a child of her child's age whose learning difficulty is dyslexia. As KarenA has pointed out TH is a good borough for children on the autistic spectrum, but other learning difficulties are less well supported and in the main children with other learning difficulties are either educated in the mainstream with support, or are funded to attend special schools out of borough. My understanding, and this is based only on what I read in the paper, is that RK's child was assessed and statemented to the effect that he required the particular provision which he is getting, and the LA were prepared to fund that provision under the statement, but she decided that she would pay for it herself, rather than take money out of the public purse. That may however be political spin, and I would certainly be asking whether the LA would have been quite so quick to statement in these terms for another child (Tower Hamlets is still BTW a labour controlled borough at Council level, though at national level our MP is a Respect Party candidate) How do people feel though about dyslexia being categorised as a serious learning difficulty as some of the media have done. I appreciate that it makes acquiring and expressing information more difficult, which must put it into the category of a learning difficulty, but my understanding is that dyslexia does not cause the kind of cognitive processing difficulties that many of our children have, so should it fall into the category of "serious"? My DD can't read or write either , but the nature of her learning difficulties impacts the whole of her life, and there are very many other fairly basic life skills she hasn't been able to acquire either, so personally I think her entitlement to education at a special school is much more clear cut. Is this me just being insensitive to a different kind of disability about which I know little though?

We always unparcel E's presents before we give them to her, undo all the ties, put in batteries, then pop them loose in the box and wrap them up. If she couldn't get it out quickly, and play with it instantly, she would never look at it again!

I hate the school nativity/carol concert with a vengence. E is at a special school, and they have one every year. None of the children have individual parts, but a teacher leads it, and the children are encouraged to sing or join in the actions. Very few of them are able to do it though, and E always sits there looking as though she is there in body but 2000 miles away in mind. It comes a few days after my NT son's production every year, so the contrast is so fresh in my mind, and I always feel so upset and tearful that she can't join in, and that she doesn't seem to enjoy it. DH has never come with me to it, but my son has come the last few times, and he too gets very sad and tearful, and always runs over at the end to where E is sitting to give her a huge hug.

From what you have said, they don't expect you to fill this out and return it to them, so the intention in sending it can't be to judge your parenting. I think what was intended was to give you a scale on which to measure your child's behaviour over time so you can see if it is changing in ways which you may not notice. They use a similar thing with depressed patients, called the Becks Inventory, and some of those questions also seem very odd. Having used it myself, though it is quite interesting, as you may feel that you are still terribly depressed and that nothing is working, but then look at the results of the inventory (which you fill in yourself and keep confidential to yourself) and can see that things have in fact improved a bit over time. I would be inclined to try to use it for your own use (just ignore any questions which are clearly inappropriate), and if anyone asks you for it, don't hand it in, just say you lost it/threw it in the bin, or whatever.

We had a little party in some communal gardens last night, organised by the local residents association. Although it was very cold and wet, a small crowd of families turned up to sing carols and drink mulled wine and eat mince pies, and the event was to be crowned by a visit from Santa for the children. Santa turned up as planned, and rather than just handing presents out to the children, he got them all to sit on his knee and tell them what they wanted for Christmas. This obviously wasn't going to be possible for E who is virtually non-verbal, so I took her up by the hand to see Santa, and explained to him that she was autistic and couldn't speak but just wanted to meet him. She smiled at him, and waved, which was a big thing for her, but when he handed her a present, she looked a bit puzzled and very politely handed it straight back to him. I expected that he would then give it to me to take home for her, but instead he said, "Oh if you don't want it, I'll give it to someone else", and handed it to another child! I was a bit stunned, and didn't say anything at the time, but fortunately one of the neighbours who knows E saw what had happened and discreetly went up and liberated a present for her from Santa's sack, so she did end up with something to take home. I know E didn't mind whether she had something or not, and rationally I don't mind whether she has yet another piece of plastic to clutter up the house but I was disappointed that an adult who was supposed to be doing nice for local children for 30 minutes on a Sunday evening, would treat a disabled child so thoughtlessly. Am I being unreasonable?

E's had a few "minor" procedures under GA (3 now!) so I know what you mean. What has helped to minimise the trauma has been: 1. getting her SLT to make some picture cards of everything that was likely to happen to her, so that when we got to the hospital I could prepare her beforehand for every procedure. On the one occasion I couldn't do this, I was able to cobble something together myself using clip art, which did the trick. You need things like putting gown on, lying in bed, having BP and temp taken, chest listened to, injection and mask (as you don't know how the anaethetist will do it), medicine, nurse and doctor. 2. If he has a doll or soft toy he likes take it to, and get the doctor or nurse to show him on the doll what they are going to do. 3. Definitely phone ward before he goes in and tell them he is ASD and make requests for anything you need. E has twice been given the private cubicle on the ward so she wouldn't be disturbed by other children crying or being noisy. The other time, when this wasn't available, they had reserved a bed for her in the far corner of the ward which was on its own, and partially screened off from the other beds. 4. Keep reminding them he is ASD. Most hospitals will then make sure he is first on the list (or first non-emergency if that is not possible) 5. Check in advance what he needs to be able to do to be discharged, probably just eat and drink something, but maybe also wee, and tell the nurse as soon as this has happened so you can get him home asap. 6. Take his favourite videos and DVDs (most kids hospitals have either a DVD or a Video player for the kids to use while they wait, but the DVDs they have in my experience tend to all be Disney, which was miles over the head of E) Check in advance what they have. 7. There are some good story books around about hospitals for very young children, which I think are better than a social story at this age. Usborne in particular do a very good one. 8. Make use of the Play Specialist on the ward if they have one.She may have toy stethascopes, gas masks,etc, which he can hold and get used to before they are used on him. There's only been one on duty once when E went in, but she was very well trained and had a bag of sensory toys specially for ASD children, which were very soothing and kept E amused for a little while. 9. If you think it may be difficult to have him weighed on the day, consider getting your HV to do it and record it in his Red Book a few days before the procedure. They need an up to date weight to calculate dosages of drugs, but if weighing him is going to cause a fight and make him unsettled before the procedure it would be better to get it out of the way earlier. I wouldn't think they would accept a home weigh in, as your scales might be faulty, but a HV one should be OK. Good luck. Hope it goes well.

I'm sorry if I offended you, but your OP said that you had fired off an email telling them everything after the inspection report had come out, so I could perhaps be forgiven for assuming from that, that you hadn't told them of your concerns before the inspection, else why would you need to tell it all again after the event. The advice about contacting Ofsted in advance does still hold true though for other parents who want to make their views known to Ofsted. If you have been in dialogue with Ofsted before the inspection, what has their feedback to you been about your complaints (ie not just what they put in their report)? In my experience if a parent has gone to the trouble to contact them direct, they will respond personally. If they haven't upheld your criticisms, this may be because they are seeing things from a different perspective, and if you knew what this was it might make you feel better about the school. I haven't tracked through your posting history though so don't know what your specific concerns are about the school, so this may be an impossible outcome.

For anyone else who has this fear, the forms are not seen by the school. The covering letter from the school should have made clear that the forms should have been returned to the school in an envelope marked for the inspector. The school never see the questionnaire, but they are told what issues have been raised with anonymity preserved - so in this case the inspector would have said something along the lines of there is concern about the level of support for children with SEN, how do you propose to deal with that? Curra's child will not be the only child in the school with a statement so unless she makes very specific criticisms which could not possibly apply to any other family the school would not be able to identify her. If very concerned, it is also possible to phone Ofsted before the inspection and tell the inspector your concerns so that there is no paper trail, and I know of at least one parent who has done this, at another school not my child's, with success.

I'm SEN governor at a mainstream school (not the one my dd goes to), and with the best will in the world you can only ask general questions about how things are done, because it would be inappropriate and a breach of confidence to ask questions about specific children, UNLESS THE PARENTS HAD ASKED YOU TO DO SO. I try to get round this a bit, and be more proactive, by asking questions about how the school deals with children with AS, ADHD, etc, knowing that there are only one or two in the school and who they are. I also pick up on common issues voiced in places like this (eg lunchtime exclusions or children missing out on out of school activities) and check that similar things aren't happening at my school. So far as Ofsted is concerned, if they say the school is good on SEN issues, as parents you have only yourself to blame I'm afraid. We've just had one of the new style Ofsted inspections at my school, and I therefore know that the procedure has not changed and Ofsted do write to every parent at the school before the inspection takes place and ask for their views. This then frames the areas they will look at when they come in. Very few parents responded at our school but the inspector picked up on every negative comment and asked us how we responded to it before he wrote the report (the identity of the parent was kept confidential). There is just no point in writing to Ofsted after the school has sent you a copy of their report, because this is the final version of the report - it won't be changed, nothing will be put on the Ofsted website, and the school is unlikely to be inspected again for another 3 years if it got a good Ofsted, by which time your comments will have been long forgotten. If you have an issue with the school therefore, you must tell Ofsted as soon as you hear the inspection is happening, and it will then be dealt with properly. If you aren't organised or bothered enough about the issues to do this, then you really can't complain if Ofsted don't pick up on them in a 3 day inspection off their own bat.

I was talking a really nice former midwife the other day, who said that when she had her children, she changed from midwifery to Health Visitor because the hours were regular and predictable and fitted in with her childcare needs. She also said lots of HVs are former midwives and the focus for HVs at the moment is to support mums in first few weeks after birth and help with getting bf established. Would this be a possibility for you after maternity leave? If you were still employed by same HA albeit in a different role, I can't see you would have to then pay back mat pay.

Hi Karen No direct experience of this because E doesn't get homework yet. However having had the privilege to meet Ben once, he was clearly a very bright child, who liked to have some control over his surroundings. I therefore wondered whether he might respond well to being allowed to choose in advance when he would do the homework, whether this is during the week or over the weekend, with the timetabled slot marked up on a wall calender, along with all his other activities. He might then feel he was being given more choice about the matter. You could also agree with the teacher a cut off point - eg if he has worked hard for 20 minutes but not finished the whole assignment, that is sufficient, and gradually build up the amount of time he is expected to spend until the work gets finished. Again, he is a bright boy so if he knew the basis on which the rules were being altered (eg by 2 mins each month older he gets, with the change being implemented on the same day as his birthdate), he might comply. The second thing which occurred to me, after seeing how he and my son interacted in a quasi-educational setting, was whether he might like to have a homework buddy (even if this was just one of the family) so he could share his achievements with another party. So far as releasing him from homework, I know he is doing well at school and so doesn't need it so much from an educational point of view, but it is a very valuable life skill to learn how to knuckle down and get on with something which you would really rather not do (one I wish I could learn if you have seen my ironing pile! ) Ben has got so much potential, and life will be so much easier for him in terms of empoyment opportunities and independent life skills when he is an adult if he has learned this. Maybe someone from the Outreach Team could give you some tips about how to minimise the stress of actually getting down and doing the homework at home. It may be that something simple such as changing the time or environment in which he does it might make a difference. I've only met him once, so don't profess at all to be an expert on what makes him tick or otherwise, but thought I would throw these up as suggestions as even if not suitable for Ben may work for someone else seeking the answer to the same question. Best wishes

Tesco have a couple on line for around �170, and if you have a clubcard you could use your points to bring the price down a bit more (and to accumulate a few more). Argos also has one this size at under �200 but it is an old fashioned Cathode Ray one, not one of the swish LCD ones. You might also find a good deal if you had a look in places like Asda and Woolies. There is a school of thought these days that the brand name is irrelevant as most of the big name brands contract out the component manufacturing to cheap overseas contractors, who also make the cheap non-branded TVs, though obviously you'd want to look at the quality of the picture before you bought just to be on the safe side. Failing that, I'm also a fan of freecycle. If you haven't found it online yet it is at www.freecycle.org.uk Great for de-cluttering as well as picking up things you need.

I started a diet at the end of June and by our summer holiday in last two weeks of August had lost about a stone and a half, was a size 12 and feeling good about how I looked. DH and I had been quite careful not to talk about the fact that I was on a diet in front of the kids so as not to give them a complex about body image, and no one had mentioned I was slimmer than I was. By the end of the holiday though I had put on 3 pounds (not a huge amount you might think) and on the last day of the holiday, E, who barely ever speaks, came over to me and pulled up my T shirt, poked my tummy, and said "fatty, fatty!" Sure incentivised me to get back on the diet as soon as I got back from hols!!