purplehaze

This is a great idea and what I do for my son, I make friut lollies (my son loves lollies and doesn't drink alot) and he gets friut into him or natural yogurt and friut because he thinks thes are like icecream. Once he started to eat things like pasta sauce I started to blend different veg into my own sauce. My son loves mash so I mix swede and carrot and now he loves this. I'll be honest with you it has taken me years to get to this point (14) but encouraging him to cook with me really helped. Also say to him if he eats ???? then he can have ???? after. I find at work and home using the language first ???? and then ???? also use pictures of what he is going to have for dinner. My son always needs to know what we are having way before dinner time, but be warned it can bring on his anxiety but it is much better than finding out at dinner time. It's hard to scrape noodle stir fry off the kitchen walls and floor.

Welcome to the site catbell, I hope you will get answers for all your questions. I deffinately know you will get support. i have a son 14yrs with ASD and his dad has lots of similar traits and behaviours, but I believe a lot of people especially men have traits of ASD in some form but it only gets diagnosed when you go past a certain threshold. X

Hello welcome to the site. look forward to chatting

Hello, firstly I understand how hard it is to explain to people, because a lot of people only know the sterotype of autism. If you can't go to your Doctors or talk to your family (although i'm sure they would be very supportive) try phoning the National Autisitc Society-0845 070 4004 Or try looking at their website (you may be able to show your family to help them understand) http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=212 Just keep posting on here for support as well. X

Hello Kimberley & kimberley's mum. Welcome to the site, you will get lots of support and advice here. I have a son who is 14 with autism and a duaghter who is very supportive like you. Look forward to chatting with you too X

Hello hedder I have been at this stage twice and first time it was turned down but second time we got the statement. You are at the RSA stage request for statutory assessment where it's just being requested. The evidence is collected if they decide to assess. I wrote about my son's difficulties and why I thought he needed more support but remember to say that the school has done lots already because they will assess if the school has put lots of support in place already (this is why my sons first one was turned down, the LEA didn't think the school had done enough to support him). Read through what the school have wrote and back that up with extra evidence from you and how your son struggles at home with the same problems. If you are turned down then a note in leiu is given recommending strategies for the school. In my case first time round the LEA went into school and put training in because they were shocked that the school hadn't done much and then once the school had put all the recommendations in place they put in the RSA again and we got it. A letter could say: name DOB I am writing as the parent of the above child. I believe that my child needs more help than the school is able to provide. My reasons for believing that the school cannot on their own make the provision required to meet my child?s needs are detailed below. If problems with beahviour/exclusions- ???? can face extreme pressure just going to school and he is becoming more stressed coping with the demands of school and showing a state of displeasure more frequently in the classroom Say something that has supported and worked (I said something that worked at home with alot of imput)- This has taken time and patients, but I believe this shows ????? can progress and with the much-needed additional effort and funds, a school setting can provide ????? with the assistance he needs to flourish. Mention social interaction, lack of understanding/communication-basically all the barriers your child faces at school. ???? needs an appropriate education and support, which will help him to reach his potential. It is my opinion that the school cannot meet ????? needs although they have put many strategies into place; his needs are greater than they can provide. ?????? needs more support to be able to understand social situations, understand and manage his emotions and behaviour. I look to you to give ????? the support he needs to become a ??????? depending on his problems. This was simialr to my second letter, I also sent in my original first letter with this so I didn't repeat my self. Write as much as you can to support your case. If they decide to assess you will have the option to write parental advice which is about early child development/health/sleeping/eating etc but the LEA will send you a form on what they want. Hope this helps X

I agree with KarenT, my son is 14 with ASD and eats more when he is calm and having good weeks.

Just keep reminding your self of how you felt today.

Hello, there has been alot of support and advice been given on this if you look at Enids posts. Have you tried ignoring as much as you can, rewarding and praising (over the top) all the good stuff. It is so hard I have a 14yr old who does the same thing.

Hello I don't want to sound negative but I have a 14 yr old son with ASD and I am still looking for support for his behaviour. He has a statement and gets support at school but doesn't get any support for behaviour at home or school really. I was told that my CAMHS in my area do not offer further support after diagnoses unless it is to do with a mental health issues that isn't related to his ASD. So I would be very interested in hearing what support others got also. Sorry I couldn't help you, but you deffinatley need to continue to look, request and ask. X

Well done Enid, I hope your feeling proud of your self. <'>

Your son is 6 years old and these RULES would be difficult for a lot of children to follow at the age of 6. My son is 14 and he still can not follow rules like that without alot of support in place. "I explained to her through gritted teeth that we cannot expect him to meet high expectations without providing the necessary support for him to learn the skills to meet those expectations. " You are so right your son needs the right support/strategies to achieve their expectations. I think the book (not a social story) is a good idea (with a few tweaks to make it more positive). i'm not sure what the answer is for our children, most schools just asume our children should meet the schools behaviours and although we as parents would like that to happen we understand it is difficult for our children. Things only began to turn around for my son when the statement was in place. "the LSA has said that DS's non compliance and outbursts are not to do with his Aspergers but learnt behaviours due to him being an only child" My question is why is the LSA giving advice/support surely you all should be talking about these things in the review meeting (SENCO, SALT, LSA, inclusion, EP, officer etc). The LSA must be so highly trained (erm I don't think so) in child development/ASD/Phychology etc to be able to give these kind of opinions.

Well done for having the patients I know you are probably warn out after all of these meltdowns but it seems he may be doing them for attention as well (after you ingnored he came down so you could see him). DON'T SHOUT UP THE STAIRS and you have achieved to change the whole outcome of events during these meltdowns. Next time maybe try playing a game with all the other children while he is watching his programme and then when they watch a programme it will be his turn to play a game with you, giving him all of your attention in a positive way. Believe me I know how hard it is to ignore a child/teenager punching and banging around. I always make my son tidy up his mess even fill holes in doors/walls after (making sure he has calmed down completely). Hope it's all calm now. X <'>

My son had the same problems and was always being excluded, schools get round it by saying they have to exclude because of their behaviour policies etc. I wrote a letter to the governors and my PP phoned the school to say it wasn't on. He hasn't been excluded since he has had a statement. Have a look on this website as well http://www.ace-ed.org.uk/advice/exclusionpack.html Although if your son is in an academy it differs. I found that my son was being excluded much more during the assessment process and they were mentioning about whether I was going to look around other schools. You need to arrange a meeting to see how the school is going to support your son, and take someone from parent partnership they can be very helpful. Ask if all teachers are aware of your sons difficulties. Let us know how you get on. X

I know how you are feeling, I was told recently that my son may be short for his age due to a lack of protein and I felt so bad about it but at the end of the day we offer our children the right food and unless we force feed them we can't do anything more. I basically said to my self what would I prefer a short boy (although he may grow) or a boy who is so messed up because his mum force fed him. We do our best so please do not worry about it. X

Hello, YES YES YES my son often takes leaps backwards and I always feel it's after he has done so well for a while. My son is 14 and I give him independence as much as I can (which is very hard at times). When he comes out of the bathroom I always wonder what I will find (wee all over the toilet, poo on the floor in the bath, soggy tissue stuck to the ceiling, no toilet paper in the toilet after a poo or the toilet blocked with paper after a poo and the list goes on). I find that giving him things to do in the bath helps (goggles, scuba mask & mouth piece, spray soap, wind up toys). I know exactly what you mean about hygiene my son just doesn't see the point, hate the taste of toothpaste but you have to encourage them to be independent. My son also leaves everything lying around the house and makes a mess everywhere he goes in the house, I just leave it and ask him to pick it up, he protests but will do it (although he has no idea how to tidy so it's a struggle not to say leave it i'll do it). The hardest leap backwards to deal with are behavioural ones for me. Goodluck

hello Enid hope you have had a good day. I think our children have a lot in common i am deffinately starting to think it is a lack of understanding. thanks for the websites JSmum

How lovely to hear when things go well.

Social stories have been very useful in the past and school use them with him too.

Thank you this has helped me to know it isn't just my son. I think the problem is I feel like no matter how much I explain he just doens't understand.

When they were stopped the other boy started to run but my son just stopped to find out what was wrong and he did say sorry to the lady when they were told it was her bag. But just doesn't seem to understand it is stealing.

I haven't had a good day today I was at uni and a hospital appointment (dietian for my son, but he didn't have to be there) so my friend looked after my son and let him and her son (i'm sure he has ASD) walk up to the local shopping centre and while up there they saw a bag of shopping so my son picked it up and they walked off with it. Then two security guards and a lady (it was her bag) caught up with them and they were carted off for stealing. My friend had to go and pick them up. when I asked my son why he had picked the bag up he said nobody was there, the bag was just left and he was hungry, I explained it to him it was stealing and he just does not understand this and keeps saying it isn't stealing. I have always had this problem with him since he was little. He used to drag tree branches home, pick junk up and bring it home, if he sees an old bike he thinks it's ok to bring it home and doesnt think it may belong to someone, he even rode a bike out of school once because it wasn't locked up so he thought it was ok (just to let you know bikes are his obsession). Am I raising a yob or is it a lack of understanding. I do worry that he may take things from shops next. Has anyone else had problems like this.

hi Enid, hope things are better for you and your family today.

=I'll definately join in, I am feeling down in the dumps and have had a bad day with my son.

Hello, sorry to hear it's happened again. Do you know what caused it this time? I think you should leave him because you may be fueling the behaviour if you stay in the same room. I know when my son has a meltdown if I stayed in the same room he would be much worse because he wouldn't be able to calm down. What I do if I see it coming is I try to remove objects that may be dangerous without him noticing (you may need to do this all the time as a precution), I lock the front and back doors etc and go and sit somewhere (sometimes in the bathroom). What has been helping me is a book called 'the explosive child' by Ross E Greene. Also try out this website. Foundation for children with behavioural challenges http://www.fcbcsupport.org/ (America) http://www.thecbf.org.uk/ Although they may not be able to support you it depends on your child's needs. You may fing some resources to help. Hope things get better for you X