Jill

I didn't know which topic to post on - I'm part dreading it and part looking forward to it! Why? Cos it's The Boy's first day at "proper" school. I am soooooo nervous. We did our homework & we loved the school & I know it will be good for him, but.............he's so LITTLE blessim. I'm getting worked up now, will be a nervous wreck tomorrow! First time picked up from home, in a taxi, with other kids, new school. Blessim. Hope he's ok my little star.

Little toys saying "Cooommmmmeeeee Oooooooon." I actually quite like that advert I tell ya me fave advert at the mo - it's for a lager beer & it's got a shot of loads of birds (with feathers Baddad) flying as if in synchronisation & the song is "going out tonight" or something (not sure of the title) It's brill.

I'm with Kathryn - The Boy is 5 at the end of this month & at the moment we can cope with it. We are trying so hard to stop this type of behaviour tho, cos as he gets bigger it's gonna get horrendous (it flipping hurts now - he hit me with a belt buckle the other day & I've lost count of the number of split lips and ###### noses I've had). It's really process of elimination I guess, keep trying different things until (hopefully) something works. We've tried: Saying "no" in a firm voice (altho this quite often now makes him worse) Distraction Walking away Ignoring him Trying to direct his thumping / smacking to a cushion or punch bag we bought. Getting hold of his hands if he is hitting (tho this can be counter productive as he just moves onto head butting then) All with varying degrees of success. It's worse to control when well meaning relatives are in the room saying "no, stop hitting, don't do that, oh dear poor mummy" etc etc etc which TOTALLY winds him up so much more (I think because he gets confused with all the different instructions). It is horrible and depressing tho isn't it? I'm sitting here today with such a sore booby - it's been painful for the last week & is getting worse so I may end up at the docs. How do you tell a doctor you think your 4 year old child has hurt you so badly?

We've always done an internet search for holiday cottages in an area we fancy going to. We've had some brilliant holidays in Cornwall, Devon and Dorset as a result. The Dorset one was especially good as it came with its own private indoor pool! Excellent if you got home tea time (ish) and didn't know what to do for that awkward coupla hours - go to the pool house, lock the door & have fun! We've avoided Centre Parcs / holiday villages cos you are paying for the facilities & we never use them. Cottages give us the freedom to have days out & eat together in an evening & not worry about any little "foibles". TBH tho, we've always found holidays to be so exhausting. This sounds awful, but at home we normally put The Boy a DVD on in the back room around 8 ish - he watches that for an hour and a half then goes up to bed. This means we have that little bit of "kick back" time. The trouble is that on holiday we've not been able to replicate this - he wont watch the small screen that comes with the DVD except in the car, so we end up either watching the DVD with him (and there's only so many times you can stand Monsters Inc) or being entertainments committee all evening (sooooo tiring when you've been out all day). The disruption always leads him to go to bed a LOT later too. This culminates in us entertaining him from around 6 am until 11 / 12pm & I come back off the "holiday" totally drained. So, this year, we've decided to holiday at home. It's the first time we've done this & not sure how successful it will be, but we're going to try having a week off together & going out and about for days out. All things that he can enjoy, followed by returning home and normal evening routine so we get a break too. I'm hoping he enjoys it - we're rarely all together as a family like that (we both work full time) so it does mean he gets quality time with mum n dad. That's the theory anyway!

Get a solicitor as soon as you can. If the mortgage is in joint names & he doesn't pay his half, the building society will come after you for the full amount. That may lead to you heavily subsidising somewhere for him to live. If you are unable to meet the full mortgage it will be a black mark on your credit record as well as his. Sorry to be so blunt, but you need to be tough about this. You've got to think of yourself and your family. You can't worry about your husband or try to help him any more, he's got to do this himself. Big hugs to you and yours. Stay strong. Take Care.

Like TheNeil I feared this would be another trite "child with a special skill" or "dog cures autism" pile of poopy so I didn't watch it either. Wish I had now. Am gonna trawl the telly paper to see if I can spot a repeat. I think that does indicate that he had an understanding of what you said. That's such a clever way of showing him I think - brilliant - I reckon you are onto something there. You should have a word with the doctors, 15 beads of autism or 20 beads of autism, so much more explanatory than "mid spectrum" or "high functioning" (whatever they mean).

Mostly I don't say anything - if it's someone we're not going to see again I don't really care. If it's going to cause a problem tho I will say something. Like when we were in a shop the other day & The Boy was lying down on the floor at the bottom of the stairs to the next shopping level & an assistant said to him "that's really dangerous, if someone comes down they may stand on you" and The Boy continued to lay there oblivious. In that situation I walked over and had a quiet word with the assistant - explaining that The Boy was autisitc - more to stop him trying to physically move The Boy (which would have earnt him a slap) than anything. I said I had an eye on him & would move him if it was obvious he was going to be in the way. Sometimes tho I am a little more blunt - in the same shop another assistant was being quite nowty and tutting and said loudly "just as long as he doesn't run into anything & the parents try to sue us" in a loud voice (cos The Boy was running up & down the mostly empty shop it obviously annoyed the assistant for some reason) so I said in an equally loud voice "the only thing we may sue you for is your disability policies, seeing as he has an SLD". In that situation I purposely said "SLD" cos I knew he woudln't have a clue what I was on about but would be too embarrassed to ask. Naughty to try & show him up I suppose, but ti t for tat really.

Classic I'd have wet myself. When I was around 6 ish I lost my two front teeth, so when I said "S" sounds, they came out as "sh" sounds. My dear old mum regularly told visitors (esp new boyfriends) about the time I asked my aunty if I could "sit on her knee"

RBS have teamed up with the Daily Mail & there are 9 nominated charities that could receive a donation of 100,000. One of the nominated charities is called Treehouse, its an educational charity for children with autism. http://www.treehouse.org.uk/ If you click here you can send an email or phone to nominate them for this donation: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/arti...in_page_id=1777 All I put on my email was that I nominate Treehouse for the donation.

I posted this on another forum, but I thought it was quite appropriate for this thread - Kathryn referring to cats as "furry homicidal maniacs" reminded me of it ............. Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary : 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary : Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates of what I am capable. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He obviously has mental issues. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now..

WHAT There's a child deeply distressed and crying and they force her onto stage??? What the bleeping heck were they thinking? That's truly sad floss. I hope H is doing ok today and that poor little girl too. Big hugs to you honey.

Hi Rushed & welcome. I hope you find this forum helpful & that you feel you can keep posting. We have some fab people on here - many of whom will be able to help you with this (The Neil and Tally I think have proven that with their posts). By the same token, it helps us parents to talk to people who have the dx, because it helps to give us insights into why our kids find some things difficult. I'm not saying everyone with an AS / ASD dx is the same (any more than one NT is like another) but certainly reading posts from people has helped me to be a better mum to my son I think. That's got to be a good thing. So, stick around & we'll help you if we can & you can help us too. Hope you find this place as supportive as I have.

We used to have a cat who liked to catch mice, but never killed them. She would walk around with them in her mouth so gently, then ultimately lose interest and drop them. I think I was one of the few people who had mice infestations BECAUSE we had a cat Mind you, if we saw a mouse in the house, it did make it easier to catch - we used to fetch Ziggy, she would pick the mouse up, then I would pick Ziggy up & take her outside, put her on the floor and gently open her jaw. The mouse would land on the floor and run off. Laws I miss that cat, she was my babe.

I think if you are backing up onto "floppy" then husband 1.0 is no use at all.............

Good luck with this one mate - I reckon you've gotta try n keep the peace & explain things nicely to her, just cos your Robert plays with her lad & you don't really want to risk upsetting that do you? Then I'd get a photo of her n hubby on the wall in the garage and throw darts at it to relieve your tension after you've had to be so nice about it all. Why do folks think they know so much when they know nowt? I had a complete flaming stranger in the park the other day tell me that "he'll get better as he gets older tho" <Swear word> idiot. Sorry, bit short tempered today, had 2 hours sleep last night, look like this today and feel like this .

Weeeell, I'd be a bit dubious about what sort of useful help someone who says things like "if Aspergers exists" and thinks all people on the spectrum curl up in a corner and suck their thumbs can offer (feel like sitting in a corner sucking thumb myself today tbh, am so zzzzzzzzzzz snore mumble ) BUT, take it take it take it. Grab whatever is on offer. I dunno, offering stuff like this! Anyone would think it was Christmas or something............. At the very least it gives you the opportunity to spruce up, wear your new aftershave and oggle the pretty psychologist. That's a boost to make you feel better even if they aren't very good with the help

That's almost a carbon copy of the convo we had with the HT of a mainstream local to us - except she claimed that she was "experienced in dealing with children on the spectrum" and that "many children with autism have been through schools I have been HT in". We did chuckle - when we commented about the open gates, onto a main road, that were right next to the playground her response was "yes, well, what we'll do is tell your son not to go over that line" (she pointed to a line on the playground) "and then it will be all right" Anywhoo, it worked well for us because we wanted the mainstream to look bad to bolster our request for a special school for The Boy. In that respect it was a huge success visiting there - esp as our LEA had held the school up as "one of the best mainstreams in our area for helping children with autism" Stick to your guns mate. YOU know what is best for your boy and if that is an ASD specific school then persist with it. Write down ALL the reasons why this school isn't right for your lad whilst it's fresh in your head. BTW our comments about no supervision at lunch time (which was her tack too) were "what will you do then if he sees something he likes on someone elses plate and nicks it" she said "does he do that often?" "Yes". "Also, what will you do if he headbutts another child because they've stressed him?" "does he do that often?" "Yes". " "Also, what will you do if he fills his nappy, sticks his hand down and then smears another child" "Oh dear, does he do THAT often?" "Yes" "Well, I think we'd have to reconsider no lunchtime supervision for The Boy" was her answer. Ummmm, wonder what made her change her mind? GOOD LUCK with all of this!

This is from May, so might have been posted before, but I thought it was quite interesting - especially the other two stories covering schools / education: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/...91843-1,00.html Warning - the original article is 6 pages long, so get a cuppa & make sure the boss isn't around before you start to read this

Probably a bit late to be any help, but why did the school ask about the reasons for his behaviour AFTER they decided to tell him he couldn't go on the school trip? This just seems like punishing him for being frightened of another child threatening him. Isn't this like accepting the bullies behaviour but punishing the victim???

By no means an expert on this, but I do believe you should get a formal letter from the Head Teacher within 24 hours of exclusion. This is out of my knowledge boundaries at the mo I am afraid - The Boy starts school in January, so we've these sorts of things to "look forward" to.

Nope, but by the time they had finished she was drinking milkshakes / energy drinks AND she would put food in her mouth to taste it, which was a massive breakthrough for her. Her mum said she really felt confident that she would eat one day in her own time, but that for now she was happy that she could take nourishment orally rather than through the tube.

I saw that too - it was called "The Girl who Never Eats" or something similar. The funny thing is that I was watching it in the beginning thinking "she looks like she's on the spectrum to me" but then hubby says I see "the spectrum" everywhere It was the way that they encouraged the kids to sit together to eat - they had children at different stages of treatment, some who were virtually ready to go home cos they were fully eating, through to kids who had just gone to the hospital. The idea was that the "new" kids would see the other kids eating & copy them. This little girl really didn't interract in that way with the other kids at all. She showed no interest in the social side with them, she didn't want to play with them and she was extremely focussed on her mother as the centre of her world. I thought it was great how the hospital were able to adjust their treatment for her eating problems to accommodate the little girl's perception disorder (which was obviously somewhere on the spectrum, although I've not heard that term before). I wish the docs there could come over here and show some teachers & docs that it IS possible to accommodate people who don't quite fit the NT world.

Just wanted to pop in with some good luck vibes, sending you strength through the ether and a couple of these <'> <'> Kettle's on, chocolate cake being sliced.............

Personally I think I'd change it now. I'd perhaps let the LEA know what you WERE thinking, but say that after discussions with the school yesterday you now enclose your revised views. This is because we found that the LEA were generally a couple of steps behind us in up to date information & I was generally the one that was going round all the folks involved & keeping em up to date. Some may have seen this as haranguing, I saw it as performing a useful service Sounds like perfectly normal reaction to me, I really wasn't kidding when I said I ran round the garden screaming! I only did it once, but it was soooooooo liberating. Your method sounds much less anti social! Chin up chuck. You will win you know. Big hugs to your boy, I really do feel for you both <'> <'>