baranigirl

yes sorry I shold have said as above, we have put steps into place regardless of the diagnosis and his new employers know all about his difficulties

aww congratulations xx

until last yr I was convinced DP had ADHD, now we know differnt and it looks like his dad is AS as well so there is definitely the genetic link for him Deffo go and see your GP and he should be able to run some on screen 'tests' for you

dunno, but my DP with AS is called the gayest straight bloke by his mate lol

have started this process last yr with my DP, once all the signs fell into place we / he spoke to his GP (he had been signed off with anxiety and dizzyness for 2 months at this point) the Gp had already referred him to a psychologist who said there was nothing they could do to help him as his symptoms were out of their fields and he saw 3 of those! We are waiting a pshychictric referral and have been since last October, but DP never returned to his job he saw the occupational therapist there to try and get him back to work, but she laughed in his face and said no way was he AS after speaking with him for about 2 minutes! Utter nonsense as he has learned techniques to cover up things he knows he does and she couldn't see through that! Anyways he left that job and got another with better routine for him in November and has been there since, but I do not expect him to be there longer than 2 years as no doubt he will fall out with someone by then and then start complaining they are 'out to get him' which is complete nonsense in NT eyes, but for him he really believes they are So anyways in answer to your question, see the GP and yes we have found it helpful to tell people what is happening as it lessens the anxiety for DP, however I deal with all his work related stuff such as booking leave / wages queries etc as he refuses to

Am curently having 2 weeks respite from my aprtner and 4 yr old daughter! DP is awaiting psych referral for AS and I am getting more certain daily that DD3 shows traits of AS too, she can unlock locked cupboards even those locked with a key! She uses any implement she finds to unlock them! She will climb anything with no sense of danger Anyways my respite has come about cos DP father lives in Ireland and they have gone to visit him for 2 weeks Poor you with 3 boys all volatile, no suggestions except as the above as charts / timetables have really made a huge difference here to DP and his explosions, DD3 is too small to grasp the chart thing, but she gets very distressed when her routine is affected, ie she likes 3 bowls of cereal each morning and can't cope if she is told there is only time for one etc she HAS to have three!

no offence taken and I am pleased my post was not offensive either Have been a single mum too I worked and held a mortgage in my own name (before letting DP move in 4 yrs ago I was on my own for 5 yrs) Things do seem impossible sometimes and the benefits system is twisted in all the wrong directions at times. Am not saying what I did was right or wrong, but it was the only option for me as I had to keep my 7yr old DD sane, she did not cope with me chucking her father out at all, but luckily she is now a fully grown sensible 16yr old My family live abroad, as does DP father, so we have very little help round us although his grandparents are round the corner they are more of a hinderance than a help haha and his Mum works full time in a bar so she has little time to help, but she does come and help DP on a wednesday (her day off) as he cannot cope with the kids whilst I am at work and that is the only evening he has them for any length of time (3.30 - 8) Keep your heads high and keep up the hunt guys it will come to you just keep looking xx

I used to work on New Deal as part of a sub contracting company New Deal is a great way to get people into work experience as you have to turn up daily, there is a wide choice of work placements and you also spend 2 days a week doing Key Skills. You are on New Deal for 13 weeks and can extend it for a further 13 weeks (unless it has changed since 2007 when I got made redundant) and quite often employers will take on staff from the ND scheme once they have proven to be hard working and reliable As you have a disability you should speak to your disability advisor as to the best way forwards for yourself perhaps he / she can aid you with ways to fill the paperwork in, perhaps there is a spreadsheet you can complete instead and print off weekly etc. However if you are not applying for jobs then they won't land at your feet I currently have 3 jobs and 4 children and a partner with AS. I was offered a 4th job but I had to turn it down as I was unable to fit it in (all the jobs I applied for I was offered and they are either shop work or care work so very low pay) If you have kids then Tax Credits helps out with childcare (my youngest 2 are in day care) Out of choice I do not want to work 3 jobs, but to keep a roof over our heads I have to, but this does cause all sorts of other issues for my DP who also works full time in another low paid job Sorry to go on a bit, but I do feel rather strongly about this topic

good luck, my son (16 months at the time) had bloods done without cream and he didn't squeal, but they did put it in the wrong bottles, so we had to go back last week (now aged 20 months) to get them redone, veins did not like needles so he ended up with some freezing spray inside his wrist, but the doc was brilliant with him Personally I am not one to allow my kids to 'choose' what they eat regardless of how little or fussy they are, but thats just how I parent and my DD3 is very skinny and fell off the bottom of the chart at one point, but she is healthy and eats like a horse so have never worried, whereas my son has many food allergies and is an average weight and size even though he eats very little

I would call the cops and SS and try to get him the help he requires

what does your partner have to say in all this? I sense a lot of anger in your posts which must appear when dealing with your stepson Am sad to hear you feel you are not being supported but abuse (mental, sexual or physical) is always going to stir folks up. If you are really that concerned for your own children's safety, there is no doubt I would have left a long time ago, as you feel you cannot leave, then call the police and get your stepson locked up xx

hi and welcome, my DP is waiting still for his psych referral and its been 5 months since he last saw the GP Can you speak to another GP about your concerns just in case you are waiting this long too xx

good on you! Keep it up xx

thank you, I did giggle about the peas as my DP insists on cooking me rice which I cannot stand and then moans when I don't eat it tonight I came home from work and he went to bed, happy with that cos it means I don't have to look at him sulking over the blimming tomato sauce from yesterday!

Am dealing with a similar thing here, except it is DP causing the issues over his inflexibility with the kids, he fell out yesterday with DD2 over a bottle of tomato ketchup! DD3 is also inflexible and between them all I am exhausted as I also have to work full time to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. DP had an eppy because I was working yesterday and it meant he had to deal with the kids I just don't know what to do anymore Sorry for stealing your post, but I totally know what you are saying and I too am looking for help!

I did the figures for us a couple of weeks ago (not that we get DLA yet) and it made no difference to our TC amount, but we are a low income family already, I guess same as everything there will be brackets for different levels BTW we both work full time

IMO they are never too young I am basing that on my own adoption and the fact I always knew I was adopted long before I knew what it meant, once I knew what it meant I happily accepted it as part of my life My parents just chatted generally about me being different and special, I guess you can take the same approach to your son and apply it to his AS xx

fab thank you xx

thank you, not had a chance to catch up with the social worker yet, but that should happen this week I did tell the DLA poeple I manage ALL his finances, when I told my friend this she asked what he did before I did them, my reply he spent what was in the bank regardless of whther he had direct Debits coming out the following day or not! So he cannot manage his own finances, let alone household bill paying etc (I paid off all hid debts when we moved in together and he will pay it back to me if we ever sell the house) I also deal with ALL his mail, he opens it and hands it straight to me without reading it, again the same friend asked what he did previously, well he would look at the first sentence and then shove it in a drawer, if they contacted him for payment if it was an outstanding bill for instance, he would pay then over the phone! What I am asking is do these things come into it as well as the lady on the phone at the DLA seemed rather surprised I said the above? Finally I never knew enuresis counted as a disability as my oldest daughter suffered til she was nearly 14 and has just turned 16, I also suffered SPD in my last 2 pregnancies and have subsequently discovered that is also a disability too Why do GP / Midwives / Consultants not tell you these things when you are given diagnosis for them as financial worries made me continue working in absolute pain with SPD (with work also being a nightmare to the point I threatened them with legal action over it all) I could have taken my leave much earlier had I known all the above and kept sanity in the house ho hum! Finally (again) my son has food allergies (all dairy, onion, garlic, celery and being tested for gluten and nuts) I have to prepare him separate meals and worry about him going anywhere exceot nursery (they were grilled and I was invited in to see their procedures) should I be applying something as his carer too? He is 19 months old? I hope I don't sound like I am after anything and everything, but a little extra in benefits, means I can drop a shift or 2 at work, meaning my DP gets less stressed / anxious when I am at work meaning I can concentrate at work without him ringing me constantly and the house is calm all the time

Hi Jimbo We are also in Kent and are awaiting psych referral for a diagnosis of Aspergers My partner has always used alcohol as a tool and it was when he stopped drinking due to going on meds for anxiety we realised he had been covering up potential Aspergers! From there on life got more and more difficult and we are coming out the worst now, regardless of whether we get a formal diagnosis or not (on list since October 2009) we are assuming that is what we are dealing with and working together to make things as easy as possible Not always easy with 4 children who spring surprises on us all the time (as kids do) and DP unable to cope with that whilst I am at work

no solutions, but you have just explained my DP and his school years to a tee He is relatively ok now, just has verbal outbursts now xx

I never told my ex about dates and things cos he used to be the same, now I do tell him and he isn't bothered enough to come along, he won't even take his DD to the optician to get her glasses repaired when she breaks them at his house, she is left virtually blind until he brings her home and tells me to sort it

No idea about grants, we have always used a credit card or HP to get expensive stuff and our income is similar to yours with 6 in our family already Have you asked on Freecycle anyone giving something away? Might not be brilliant but if it works thats all that matters xx

thank you for that, I am speaking to a social worker Friday to check we have not missed anything on the form xx

DD1 is still 'scared' of using strange toilets and she is now 16 and definitely not on the autistic spectrum, she suffered from really bad stress enuresis aged 5 through to 13 although she was clean and dry day and night at 2½ I just don't 'do' toilet training here until they tell me they want to use the toilet as my experiences with DD1 put me off! DD3 is still wearing night nappies and is 4 thi month, I can see her starting school in Sept and still wearing them, am not bothered if it saves me clearing up a huge wet / poo bed each morning, yes she waits for the nappy before pooing too and will wear it all night full!