robert7111a

What would I like? Well, firstly I use this forum for help and support for my own difficulties knowing that I won't be judged and to learn What I would like however is for people to post a bit more about what having AS is like for them, i.e. more personal thoughts and how the condition really affects them in daily life. What people find most difficult, how they perceive themselves and where they fit/or not fit in general society. I have seen videos of Aspies on youtube describing exactly these things and would like members to post here. Also, is there a database on the forum detailing what AS is and its typical expressions in the following areas of development: (?) social skills use of language behavioural and stylistic characteristics such as repetitive or persevering features range of interests/hobbies. If not, can we have one? And I know it's in opposition to the title but can we have less personal attacks please.

I did badly at school. But I never really knew I had a learning disability let alone traits of AS. I was just considered not bright. And there was no help back in the 1970s. I only took CSE's and failed/did badly at most of them and scraped a B or C in two of them + a A in French - the only subject I was ever good at. A little later on in life (my 20s), I gained a good qualification in typing/word processing (the days before PC's), retook my English language/literature and got the equivalent of an O level - then I did O level French (and passed) - then an A level. Of course, these were still before the days of GCSE's.

How is your son's speech? Is he able to articulate and form his words properly? If not, a referral to a speech and language therapist might be in order...

It could be either...so more information would be useful Happypanda

Hey I'm just before you then as I did two YOP courses for what was then £25 p/w I think the new term now is "difference" as these two terms are derogatory. Dyslexia comes under the banner of Special Learning Disability (SpLD) - or "difference" and is not just about literacy, writing and spelling etc. Handwriting may be messy with letters jumbled or reversed. There may be problems with unfamiliar words or irregular words, phonological skills, identifying and using sounds in words and particular problems in telling the difference between b/p/d, v/th and g/j sounds. There may be visual-perceptual skills such as following words from left to right on a page, words popping out from the page, leaving letters out of words, putting them in the wrong order etc.

Didn't Dr Wakefield examine the gut of autistic children - and his work was ridiculed?

Being a man, oddly or not, I generally don't like men (no disrespect to men on here!) as I grew up being bullied/abused by men (including my own father). I also don't like stereotypic men stuff like Sky sports, sitting around in pubs, fast cars etc. I certainly am not a ladies man (I don't have the requisite skills!) but I do relate better to women It takes me a long time before I can be comfortable trusting anyone

Yes is my answer ! And the question is...Who am I? I never got on with boys/men when I was younger partly because I don't have many boyish interests and the males used to bully/tease me I relate more to girls/women but not fashion, clothes, hair, makup etc (girls would then consider me wierd and give me a wide berth (which people do anyway) So what camp do I fit in? Where in society do I fit in? I am looking into the possibility of CBT as a way to stop negative thoughts and ways of thinking as clearly I am a social outcast...nobody wants to know me. I would love to know me but I too, have a fear of rejection So yes, I am the odd one out...the ugly duckling...the runt...etc...etc

The highlight (and perhaps lowlight) was finding out things about myself that I suspected but have come to the light of day. Like having several traits that are a hallmark of AS. Mixed emotions with the confirmation coupled with a sense of bewilderment and relief and now knowing who I really am.

Does your husband give you care and attention in other ways or does he direct it all towards your son? Do you have any interests that you can throw yourself into? I have recently gotten to know somebody whose husband has AS and although they don't have children, they live virtually separate lives. I only discovered last year that I myself have several traits of AS (my wife is NT) but we have a child who (thankfully) does not share my obsessions. My wife is very tolerant of me but I suppose I don't talk about my obsessions very much. I'm desperately trying to learn how NT people communicate as I feel I've lost 40 years of my life through lack of innate knowledge. Constant gaming will not encourage your son to learn social skills and this may go against him if his peers start to tease him etc. Are you in a wheelchair? Can you take your son out to do other activities in order to divert his mind from gaming or does your disability restrict you? Does your son read and enjoy books apart from dinosaurs?

I forgot to add... Let him know how neglected and unloved you feel without being accusative (as this will put him on the defensive and he'll resent you for this). Move out (stay with a friend/relative) with your son for a while and it won't be long until he realises what has hit him and he'll coming running with his tail between his legs See if you can agree on "his/your son's times" and "us" (i.e. you and him) times. Are there any games you could play or share with him? Is your son falling behind with schoolwork? If so, then clearly you need to address this issue firmly I can understand if your husband works hard that he needs some relaxation time but you need to be assertive and make up a schedule that includes YOU. But if he doesn't work, then I think you need to make a difficult decision and move out

Hi lisa2701 Oh dear, you must feel like a widow to your husband with his game obsession. I am not a gamer (don't even like the things ! ) and really don't see the attraction. I refuse to allow my daughter a TV in her room (she's 13) but she does have a laptop to do homework etc and where I set time limits etc. Does your husband work, i.e. is he out of the house all day? Does he play PS3 to escape reality or to get out of doing other stuff. Personally I think you need to have a meaningful conversation with him. He needs reminding that first and foremost, he is a husband and a father and he needs to fulfill his responsibilites. You need to sit down and either talk to him directly or with a counsellor. He needs to face up to his marital responsibilities. I do admit, I too have a hobby which I obsess about and I suppose I am fortunate that my daughter doesn't share my interest. But I do work long hours and I do my hobby maybe once a week or once a fortnight. Because of my work, I don't have the time I would like to devote to my family. But my wife works too and our arrangement is just fine. Maybe you need to be really harsh and threaten to leave him. He really needs a wake up call.

You've been an inspiration to us all Ben. Have a great Christmas and don't drink too much beer...:lol: And a Happy Christmas to everyone on the forum

I already have a title for mine...and its in various stages of notes...but work, life etc is getting in the way. One day...

Not true for me. I take a lot of interest in people as my job is very people-oriented. But yes, I can identify most trains/locomotives but this doesn't mean I connect with them more. I'm glad I work with people as it just brings out my weaknesses which I want to address

All I can say on this topic is "Problem - Reaction - Solution". Let the media create mass hysteria, find somebody to blame (i.e. an AS person) and either find an excuse to remove all arms/weapons etc from the general population so that the authorities can exert extra powers or ensure anyone with AS or ASD disorders are outcasts and cut them out from general society.

I wonder if this is due to memory issues. I am terrible with remembering names - even with those I work with on an ad-hoc basis. But yes as somebody pointed out, I can "forget" a person out of context - i.e. a work person in normal clothes on the High Street or a mother/child whom I have seen in my clinic Is this due to poor memory, poor recall or simply AS?

The only one from this list is trains - from a historical and photographic point of view - mainly steam trains. You can't beat a good kettle! Oh and old mechanical railway signalling. I never liked Thomas or his friends. I love photography - especially candid street photography

One of the problems is speed cameras where the traffic might be flowing 5 - 10% over the speed limit until a speed camera is spotted whereupon everyone suddenly brakes harshly. It pays to be a safe distance behind the car in front

Excellent - bring on some more please...

Just shows how we rely on computers now. I rely heavily on mine to do my RAW processing (Sa Simrande will appreciate this...). But a couple of months ago, my PC got some trojan which meant I couldn't do anything beyond powering it up on my login - fortunately it worked on my wife's login. The Internet helped me here as I downloaded some stuff to remove the trojan. Although I back up my stuff regularly, bits like itunes etc I do not back up so I spent a day backing up literally everything in case the problem arose again. Usually I am paranoid about backing stuff up (as I take rather a lot of pictures).

I love the internet as it allows me to do stuff that I couldn't normally do: such as write on forums like this. But I don't do FB, Twitter or any social media - I don't have friends so what's the point? Perhaps if I had friends, I might think differently, I dunno. But yes, I agree, a certain search engine has taken a nosedive of late which is why I turn to books for some of the factual information I need. I think you can probably find almost anything you want on the internet - including self-diagnosis for any condition which can be either a good or a bad thing. But then if we're going to become a police state and a certain body of people in a certain "house" in London are going to monitor our sufing habits and our email etc, then maybe some people will think twice about using the internet for looking up certain things.

I'm terrible at reading non-verbal body language...but I'm slowly learning. I have a strong motive to do so...but I'm not saying on here...

Sorry, I kinda meant private tutoring...

Hi Nesf....what a clever woman you are knowing all these languages (...and I'm really not being sarcastic). Could you not teach for a living?