Mike_GX101

My school was one of the first to have computers (still remember the old Windows NT systems) and we were amongst the first to be introduced to the internet too. Wow those were days! I still remember being shown the 'ropes' of the internet by a teacher - it was like no CD-Rom encyclopedia I'd ever used before. It was great! Increasingly the internet is becoming the new media for learning and working but I do believe there needs to be increased emphasis on P.E. where pupils are taught the importance of maintaining their physical health too because it is all too easy to forget to exercise when using computers and that is potentially very serious because prolonged seating can cause blood clots, deep vein thrombosis and even problems with the heart and cardiovascular systems as I'm finding.

Yes definitely. What sort of a school wouldn't have computers today?!?

Are you working at the moment? What do you think of paid employment? Have you found your ideal career yet?

Hi Kris, Nice to see a response from the original creator of the forum. Just wondering as you're here though - is there a way to maybe curtain/screen one of the areas of the forum as I don't know if anyone else has these worries but I worry that some members are maybe putting a bit too much info out there that can be accessed by just about anyone. Some times I have a look through to see if there's anything interesting to reply to and I don't log-in and I have long thought how useful a cordoned-off area would be especially where sensitive issues/daily rants about this and that can be discussed amongst members only. Thanks Mike

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I don't get annoyed. I can hear it, like I can hear the fridge freezer humming constantly, but it doesn't bother me. But there is always someone late on a Sunday night who rides a really noisy scooter and that droning noise really irritates me as I can hear it for miles. Motorbikes and cars with big beefed up engines with high revs stir me some what too when I'm in watching TV. Does everyone else react this way? It's just the noise arrggg!!! Why must they do it?!? And buses and their brakes that go spshhhh sound like someone sighing heavily. Again - quite annoying!

Some of the answers I gave were quite hypothetical (or the best fit possible) as they weren't situations I've ever been in. But my score came out at: above average EQ.

The trouble with late diagnoses is that there is this perception that we as individuals are static and cannot change. And yet with more information at our fingertips than at any time before coupled with thousands of self-help books on almost every subject this is so definitely not the case and increasingly we're seeing individuals who are coming forward who have managed to learn the skills their nature denied them such as dealing with emotion and body language and these people cannot be readily diagnosed because their self development poses as a complication towards accurate diagnosis. Many of us have developed our skills even where we were told we couldn't. You have to believe you can do it which leads to a popular quote: "Where there's a will there's a way". Many have Asperger's Syndrome plus everything they've ever learned and when "everything they've ever learned" means they can unwittingly mask their Asperger's Syndrome to diagnosticians then obviously this means they cannot be readily diagnosed. Diagnosticians have to wake up and realise things are no longer what they were when Asperger's Syndrome was first discovered before we were all online and before we had access to education beyond the basic constraints of the National Curriculum. Many go onto Higher Education too and then continue developing after that and so there has to be recognition that individuals can and do change.

The trouble is that people with Asperger's are people with rights too and to pen them into a scope of 'particular' jobs could mean denying people with Asperger's with the right to choose what they want to do. So what you have to do is visit a careers service/website and look at all the different types of jobs available and match your particular skill set and aptitude with that list and maybe see which ones would be better suited to your sensory issues. But be careful because the last thing you want to do is select something which serves to help your sensory difficulties but ends up being something you actually hate and end up stuck with for the rest of your life. Another thing you might be able to try is to immerse yourself in noise and chaos and find ways to deal with it. Go to a busy train station, sit on a bench and read a book as perhaps one possibility. At first it might be difficult to do and maybe even frustrating. But the more you do it the more the neural pathways in your brain required to do such concentrating will fire up and the more able you will be to concentrate in jobs that require concentration in noisy environments. It is a hard thing to do but the more you do it the more able you'll be to close off distractions and focus on the object of your concentration such as a book. Good luck!

I don't know what such a view has to do with being an Aspie?!? We're all individuals with our own opinions whether we're Aspies or not. If a person has an opinion and he's an Aspie does it mean that view is wrong because he/she may view the world differently? And for reasons like that we have to be very careful when discussing such topics on such an open forum. Perhaps the OP might consider re-wording the title??

Some people are born with this 'aura' of awareness which senses the emotions of others and they grow up to become careerists like Counsellors, Advocates and Coaches. For everyone else however it takes a career of life-long learning to master the arts of the emotions. This is where 'emotional intelligence' comes into play. Some people pick it up more easily than others. It can be measured similarly to intelligence (i.e. IQ). There are many books on the subject and one I recommend is called The Language of Emotions.

Just out of interest what is it you mean by 'autism friendly'? Most autistic's I know watch mainstream films just like anyone. They read mainstream books, listen to mainstream music and do all sorts of mainstream things. So what is it you're implying when you say 'autism friendly'? Thanks

Never mind going to the Caribbean or going up in space - what I really dream about is having a sleeping holiday where I go to some far retreat somewhere in the middle of a forest and just sleep for about a week. Sadly there is always too much to do. Even when I was younger holidays were always about doing things. You couldn't just stay in bed the whole time - holidays were about going out and exhausting yourself exploring the seaside, the towns, the villages and going on massive 10 mile hikes, etc so that when you got home you'd be too tired to go back to school! LOL

Sleep is fundamental to health. If you don't sleep it can be serious: see here If you get up after 6 hours and feel sluggish and you're irritable then chances are you didn't get enough sleep so adjust accordingly until you awake feeling fresh. Freshness is not the same as having a coffee and feeling 'awake'.

Yeah but it makes some funny viewing for everyone else! LOL

I like dogs but I couldn't keep one as a pet. The sole reason for that is that they may be playful and cuddly to you but I couldn't live with the fact I'd still have a carnivorous animal in my care which jumps up and tries to attack the postman every time he comes near the house or chases cyclists as they cycle past innocently. I couldn't live with that side of owning a dog. Because at the end of the day everything they do would be your responsibility including scooping up their mess which I'm sure the dogs find highly amusing! Eww! But I do really like cats. They're much more manageable and don't take over the whole house. And what's more they're independent too! So they're perfect companions and will come and go as they please. Purrrfect!

Anger communicates a lot. Anger doesn't flare for no reason. An individual doesn't get up one day and decide to be angry. Sadly angry people get stigmatised a lot with apparent little care that they may have just lost their job or they're having difficulties at home. True no one likes being shouted at or being the target of a person's anger but if the person who is angry is given a chance to air what it is that is troubling them they may turn out to be surprisingly nice people only with a lot on their mind. But if your head is not clear from thoughts of your own (like depression) then you already have a full glass and an angry voice will not only keep filling that glass but will also add heat and maybe pressure as well as like a pressure cooker. Go easy for a bit. Take a back seat and give someone with a clear head the job of dealing with the angers of those you want to help. Your health comes first Aspieman. Best.

If that's how they react to you on breaking the news then they weren't really your friend to begin with. Good friends will be friends no matter what.

It's like being born in a foreign country where it isn't just the currency that is different. All's well until you're schooled where they realise (or they tell you matter-of-factly) you're not like the natives. They run tests and observations and conclude you're not a native. Allowances are provided for the 'foreign' mannerisms and perceptions you exhibit but socially you feel even more foreign having your new 'label' which does more to alienate than the condition it names. You get the feeling you're avoided. Others still take your hand and never let go. In the world of work when you're an adult Job Interviews are the new demons. They're made fiendishly hard as if it's some kind of joke. A simple cashier job at 18 ends up involving 7 layers of tests including group work challenges even before you're offered an interview. Most don't make it that far but those who do often find find they've just wasted 6 weeks of their life trying to get this job as the panel of 7 interviewers very smuggly bin their application. You walk away deeply out of pocket and feeling deeply disillusioned with it all. If you do get a job it's usually much less than what you're capable of and the boss goes to huge lengths to bar any kind of promotion while bowing to the cameras as they get snapped for their recent publicity stunt for recruiting someone with a disability. Your development in the workplace gets somewhat stilted (to say the least) and you lose your way. Many of us do eventually make it (after a lot of work in the beginning and even more in educating ourselves on emotions and other things we missed when we were younger) and we can look back and reflect on where we could have done better and where our hungers for stability, security and routine got the better of us. Many of us do learn to integrate and furthermore many of us decide to drop the label of 'aspergers' or 'autism' as we realise we're better off without it.

If left to leave home when I was ready I would have probably have left in my early 20's. As it happened however I had no choice but to leave sooner because 'home' suddenly moved a long way away and I still had studies to continue. So I was pushed into facing the realities as an adult much sooner. I remember in my first student digs being so oblivious to how to fend for myself. Those few months were hard while I learned how to cook, food shop and do everything else you suddenly have to do living away from home. It was very bleak for a while there but having been shoved in at the deep end I soon found the ability to swim and got myself better digs and started to enjoy living away from home. In retrospect being pushed may have been a bitter pill to swallow at the time but it was probably the best thing that could have happened because it got me independent much sooner than if I'd stopped at home and been wrapped in cotton wool.

I know people with asperger's who are very extroverted. I think the aspergers can cause a block to the social communication even in the extroverts. They will be the ones who kick up the most amount of fuss or make the most amount of noise. They can't help themselves - they will shout in words or in wild whoops. Some aspies are the reverse and will fade into the back but in any social group of aspies you will always have those who are much more extroverted as in any group of people. A lot of the time the personality will find a way to shine through eventually and asperger's is just another hurdle along the way.

Whenever I get stressed I often fly away in my mind and go and sit on top of a mountain or sit in a special place in my mind and simply chill. I have sat in many places I remember from gardens to bus shelters to standing on the first floor of the Eifel Tower and looking over Paris! The good thing with visualization is that you can anywhere and no one will ever know and plus you can even be creative and make up places. Just don't get lost though LOL!

So who moderates the Moderators in their private forum?

Depression can start when one feels as if they have no control over the direction their life is going in. It can also come on when we don't take stock of the more important things in life and we end up feeling trapped and we don't respond to our needs to escape (often we get dreams, or ideas of escape but without the ability to read those signs we do not help ourselves as required and we don't ditch old routines and take on new ones we desperately seek). So if you're feeling as if life is going nowhere and need to escape then take a break, go easy on yourself and start making positive changes to your life - do something different for a change and the new you will shine through and your depression will crack as you break free from the chains of it.