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Wow, that was quite a read! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. You've been through a lot and it's easy to see how you could have only seen the negative in things but impressively you didn't! I think like you in that I don't see Aspergers as a disability at all, in fact I was only saying to my mum and the psychologist I saw in work that I didn't see it as such. Apparently that impressed him... As did the fact I didn't get upset when he suggested I might have it, with me just saying that it'd explain a lot! I think in life you have to help guide yourself along paths. Yes, to a point I see them as being predetermined to a point, and when your time is up nothing is going to change that, but you can help change what happens in between. If you sit and wallow in it all then nothing good will come because you're not allowing yourself to see anything but sadness and negativity. Don't get me wrong, I have my down times, but I'm trying to stay on the positive side of things and am determined to push myself even harder now I've got my head around my 'out of the blue' diagnosis

Hello from a newbie here

So here are my questions to you guys: how many of you have access to support groups in your local area, and if you do, how many of you find them helpful? I've not got anything available to me nearby, with the nearest being about 40 - 60 mins drive away at best. And, for those of you who don't have support groups available, would you utilise them if they were? Thirdly, do you think that a forum like this is a good substitute if no face-to-face support groups are available?

But surely it is difficult when you meet new people? At least it is for me... it's like starting all over again from the beginning.

It's not always about money though.... and I have found it difficult to tell if people are genuine. Obviously sometimes it's blatantly obvious from the outset that these people are out for themselves, but some people lull you into a false sense of security and then you start to trust them. If it were just about money sometimes it'd be a hell of a lot easier.

Neverending isn't it!! I can't stand ear plugs and don't like things around my head / face either.

I have to say I much prefer working with more men than women, not that I like big groups of men as such, but I can't really stand the bitchiness involved in working in a large group of women.

Sounds silly but have you tried wearing those eye thingyos? I know someone who worked nights and swore by them as she couldn't stand light while she was trying to sleep. Personally I can't stand the things, but might be worth a shot?

Nesf, that's terrible. I'm so sorry you've had to go through that I didn't lose money that had been in my hand, but through some of this I've lost the opportunity to make money through my photography, which was a ######. I've now turned my back on it all, at least for the forseeable future, as I was fed up of the dog eat dog nature of the game. I often wonder, like you, if there are any real friendships out there. Anything that you can actually really rely on being such. I do have a couple of people in my life that appear to be real friends, so I just hold out hope that they are. Yes, they've hurt me in the past, but I wonder if that's because neither them nor I understood me properly at the time. I guess we both need to try and be a little less cynical and live in hope that there are real friendships out there waiting to happen

Not a huge array of highlights for me this year... been a bit of a quiet one in relation to other years. I've had to give up doing what I loved - photographing bands and traveling abroad, often combining the two. My father came to visit and I hadn't seen him in 14 / 15 years and it all managed to go t**s up due to his girlfriend, so he's no longer in my life, after three years of actually enjoying him being 'around'. The good, I guess, is pretty depressing in one sense. I've been taken seriously enough to be sent to Sheffield to see a geneticist about a diagnosis that I figured might be a possibility myself. Turns out that I may well have been right, just waiting to see what they write to my GP. I also got my diagnosis of AS... and whilst I wasn't shocked, it wasn't what I was expecting considering I was only going to see the psychologist at work to discuss work related issues! Now that I know I have AS I think things will be a lot easier, as I am now constantly learning about myself and the way I interact within it. Things make more sense and I no longer feel I have to justify being 'odd'... I can just 'be'!. I'm hoping that 2013 is going to be a good one... I'm due one!

Darkshine, I don't actually think guitar is boring and am constantly impressed by guitar players out there who make awesome music. I just think, if you were to ask people what was an interesting instrument, guitar wouldn't be up there at the top.

6 hours... hmm... I think that's a damn good night for me I get that much. I'd say, on average, I must get around 3-4 at the moment. I used to go without sleep through choice, running around photographing bands and stuff like that, but when it's not through choice is somehow 'hurts' more!! haha

I tend to shy away from the news as I find most of it rather depressing. I watched part of the news on telly the other night and found myself thinking 'wtf?'... the world out there kinda scares me a little more than it used to. I guess I really should start reading / watching the news more and being a bit more up to date with happenings, I used to know so much of what was going on, good or bad.

Wouldn't it be a nice world if people would just accept people for who they are... whatever their sexual orientation, religious / spiritual views etc. I really do not understand why someone's sexuality worries other people. Whilst not abused myself, I can see how it may affect your outlook and the way you see things and view relationships.

I have thought about this a lot since getting my diagnosis... well probably a lot prior to that as well. I find that I end up being friends with people who quite often end up using me for whatever reason and then disappearing with no real reason. A good example are two people who, insisted they were my friends and wanted me to do this and that with them and 'please come and visit me' etc etc. I ended up trusting these people and it turns out they were probably only using me for my contacts within the music industry. When they got what they wanted they literally disappeared. No explanation, no nothing. Now, I know it wasn't me in that sense because I hadn't changed at all in the time that I'd known them, only to be more trusting. It's pretty soul destroying to say the least. I cannot stand people who use and abuse, or backstab and such likes. I don't understand the need for it. I would like for once, for things to just be simple and have friends who only want the same back. I feel like I've managed to find a couple of friends at work for the first time, and that's quite a nice feeling, however, right now, my best friend literally is my dog. I'm going to go back to being less trusting, as I am fed up of being hurt :/ Sad, but true. But then again, sometimes people come along who give you your faith back in humanity and manage to make you smile again. May I just say SpecialTalent, that I've learnt along the way that we shouldn't take it to heart if people do this to us... yes it hurts, but we are far better off without people who treat us in such a way. Throughout life we'll stumble across people who are worth our time and effort.

What a lovely positive thread

Welcome to the forum. I really do hope that you'll be able to find the support / answers you are looking for. I can't say how I'd feel if I had a child who was diagnosed with ASD, but I know how my mum reacted when I got my diagnosis. I don't think there is any right or wrong way to feel about this sort of thing and of course, you will need to give yourself time to get used to it. The good thing is though, that your daughter has been diagnosed early and there will be ample opportunities to support her through her developmental years. I don't doubt that there will be difficult times for you and your family, but you're lucky in the sense that you can fight for for her, knowing what is going on, not wondering and being in the dark.

Nesf... it's rubbish isn't it!!? I think, if you can sleep things just seem so much better... alas, I'm one of those who can't sleep for noise, light, etc... and now the pain. Ah well, it could be worse!

I was talking to the doctor I saw about EDS and she said I'm likely dyspraxic after I told her about my seemingly wonderous ability to fall into doorways or over my own feet... and that's without rushing most of the time!

I've just been to Sheffield last week to see a specialist and was told that it is likely that I have EDS Type III - hypermobility. She wasn't sure on my skin so took some pictures of scars to show her colleague and will then write to my GP with diagnosis. Hoping that this is the case as then I'd finally have a diagnosis that explained more than it didn't... ie the diagnosis of chronic widespread pain didn't really convince me. While there I asked about a possible link with EDS and AS / ASD but was told that it's probably only seen due to the fact that more people are being diagnosed with both now... not convinced with that theory either!! Waiting on my letter to see what the final diagnosis is.

Oh Lyndalou that is terrible Hearing things like this makes me so sad, for all involved. I feel that I have empathy, and was in fact told that I have it by the psychologists that I have seen re my diagnosis. I have worked in environments where a lack of empathy would mean I couldn't really do my job properly though. They wondered if I'd learnt it as I had gone along in life, but I wonder if in some of us, it's always been there, we just need to nurture it? I remember doing the AS questionnaire and there being the question about 'did you cut up worms when you were younger' or something similar and all I could think was, why the hell would I want to do that to a living creature. I think, looking back though, my empathy when younger lay with animals more so than people. The empathy for people was probably always there, just to a lesser degree than it is now. (Now I wonder if any of this makes any sense!!)

Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and all the best for 2013!!

I think for me the part of Christmas that I find the most difficult is how the shops get super crowded and even just getting your essentials, ie bread, milk etc is like running a gauntlet. I HATE it when people are pushing / crashing into you etc, so I try to spend as little time as possible in the stores around this time... either that, or go late at night when they're 24 hr or shut late I like quiet shopping experiences. Christmas itself doesn't really bother me as it's only usually a couple of us here anyway. And I LOVE watching my nephew opening his pressies and being all excited by his tree and lights etc in the run up to the big day. I don't ever go on Christmas nights out with work though... definitely not my scene.

I used to be quite musical as a youngster, playing electric organ and multiple recorders. I seemed to be better at playing by ear than reading music. Although I could read it, I think I used to prefer learning by ear... somehow seemed more natural to me. I've not played anything since being in school though... I used to think I'd love to learn playing guitar or something 'boring' like that

Good topic! I so know where you are coming from. I've always felt like I'm the odd one out... be it in school or in work or wherever I am. With regards to family I'd say not though, as no one ever made me feel that way within our family unit. In fact I've had discussions at work over the past little while where I've come out with things like 'I know I'm weird, but ...'... and I've been asked 'what makes you say that!?'. This was before I was diagnosed in September... prior to that I'd never even realised I might have AS. I never really fit in with the kids at school I don't think... and I used to just hang out with my brother and his friends for the most part outside of school. Going into highschool I had a couple of friends, with one friend featuring in my social life most often, and then her and her two sisters being the only friend type people I spent any time with after leaving high school. I look back now and can see that this may have been because I didn't necessarily have to invest too much into the friendships as such and could wander in and out of situations as and when I wished, without having to feel bad for ignoring people. With the friend and her sisters, I think we were kind of similar in many ways. I don't do too well in large groups, although if I know the people I have been getting better as I've gotten older. I started to feel like I fitted in a little more when I started hanging out with people in the 'metal' world... but I don't really spend much time in that world anymore due to physical illness So now I'm stuck in a world where I don't fit in again, with work being my only semi-social outlet! I've got a couple of people at work that I get on well with and that's enough for me right now. To be honest though, I'm happier with my dog and going for long walks with her when I can. She doesn't see me as 'different or weird'!! I also hang out with my super cool 3yr old nephew who doesn't see me as weird either So family and my dog pretty much fill my world right now.