baileyj

Max, 5, will feed himself, but only dry foods, only if they are cut up. He won't bite anything. Ive just accepted it, and carry trusty scissors in my handbag for nugget cutting at McDonalds, get some right funny looks, but Ive got a thick skin Can give you any suggestions, Ive never got any where with Max. Jo

Hiya, Max at 3 was the same, its hard and upsetting. Now at 5, its rare he gets aggressive. I think for Max being able to communicate and understand communication more has helped, we can explain in simple terms about things, that before would cause uproar. Also preparing him for situations with photographs stopped alot of the anxiety which triggered the agression. Ive been headbutted, hit, bit all sorts at 3. But I was also just learning about his autism, I found once I understood it and what affected Max, I was able to cope more, and he's alot calmer nowadays. Hope you find a way through, its tough, but you can get there. Jo

My son Max, 5, won't walk, but its mainly about panic or unfamiliar places, I don't think its anything physical. We got him a Maclaren Major buggy via our OT, its a lifesaver and should last till he's about 10. We get nagged by family, "you should make him walk", but I ignore it, if he feels happier and more secure in his buggy then thats fine by me, if Max relaxed, then so am I, I don't see the point of forcing him to walk, and all the fallout that goes with it. Jo

I watched it, our TV Guide said he had a "personality disorder". But I thought ASD myself, especially when he was repeating what he'd heard. It was very good, and made him look lovely, and I loved the friendship he and Vincent had. Put a smile on my face. What I didn't like was the police attitude of "he's over 18", but again, at least it brings it to the public eye of how people get badly treated. Jo

Maxs problems became evident at Playgroup at 2.5, he didn't settle in like the other children or learn or communicate. I didn't know how behind he was until I was at playgroup with him, and could really see the differences, what I thought was normal, clearly wasn't. Playgroup leader and I talked about it, and thought Autism. HV Referred us straight away to Paied at CDC, started assessment when Max was 2.10, dx at 3.2. Early DX good, in that got speeach therapy, portage, OT etc etc, but, as Max not of school age, its been really hard to get support in playgroup, then nursery. Lots of assessments, panels with money people, you doing all yourself. Then all through nursery last year lots more assessments and statementing. Now Max started Reception in same school as nursery its fantastic and its taken alot of pressure off. We are really lucky Maxs mainstream school are very supportive, very experienced in SEN, and a small village school. Jo

What a lovely subject, hmm.... Kate from Pre-school learning alliance, the first person who helped us, and helped us find a playgroup that would be good for Max. Came on all the visits with us, supported all of us, and is now a dear friend. Kelly his first ever 1:1 at playgroup, just a Mom like me who wanted to give it a try, helped Max learn it could be OK and he could have a good time away from us and our house. Kelly and Rosemaries patience their was fabulous. Changed our lives. Julie his 1:1 at nursery, and now in Reception, she is the most fantastic brilliant lovely lady ever, she had helped Max so much, he has complete trust in her and loves her. She has done more for him than any one ever. Mrs McG Max's nursery teacher, who helped us through all the statementing, supported us, even 1:1 for Max when Julie away and got a supply teacher in for the rest of the class. She set us on the road. Janet, Portage worker, sadly not with us anymore what a brilliant help and support and finally....my Kevin, my wonderful husband, who takes care of us all. Jo

My 5 year old also does it, sometimes I just ignore it, or others I say "leave your tinky alone, its for weeing". Don't know if thats the right thing to say, but its all I can think of. He always answers "I can't", but then stops anyway. Jo

Well it got worse, as the day wore on, lots of meltdowns, he's so touchy at everything. I just kept trying to calm him down, and cuddle him. This morning, he just kept saying "I feel sad, you made me sad Mommy, you make me poorly", oh I felt so bad for him, but I kept up the smiles, and said he would be OK at school, and Julie would take care of him. He was curled up in his bedroom, me trying to put his shoes on. Then Kev came in with his fleece jacket, he saw it smiled, put it on, and said "i happy now". Off they went to school, me to work, apparently Max was very nervous going in, Julie got him playing straight away. Her and Kev had chat, Kev explained all that had gone on. Julie going to work hard to reduce Max's anxiety levels, shes got picture timetables ready so she can pre-warn him on everything, and made clocks so he can see the time gone and whats left, and we'll see what happens. I feel like cr*p, I wish I didn't have to make my little boy feel this way, its horrid horrid. I feel like the wicked witch of the north and just want to cry. But I can't I'm sitting here at work, holding it together, waiting for Kevs phone call to say how Max has been.

Max had his first day today in Reception, his LSA was at the door to greet him, and he went in happily, we went home feeling better cus he seemed happy. Fetched him at 12:00, he burst into tears when he saw us (he used to do this in nursery too), cried big ploppy tears, more than normal. Think cus it was such a big change for him, even though we had prepared as much as we could, and he has been with his LSA for a year, cus he can't explain why he feels such a way, just that he is sad. I don't know what to think, hopefully just first day upsets, and he will settle and calm down. But oh it upset me, I feel very worried, today was only for 2.5 hours, in 3 weeks its up to 6 hours, I feel such a rotter sending him, but once he settles he should be OK....I hope. Feeling very uptight and wish it wasn't like this. Jo

In Max's reception class there is a TA who is there for all the children and to help the teacher, and Max's LSA (Julie) who is there to support Max as per his statemented hours. Cheers Jo

Success !!!! Max has now worn his boxers in the day for 3 weeks. I decided after watching him happily using the potty (when running round with nothing on), that he had the control, so I decided after reading up some more on this fantatic website (that means all of you), that we would go cold turkey. Day 1, he begs for nappies, I kept saying "nappies all gone, Max wear trunks" (our name for boxers, pants a no go). Max screaming, kicking fighting, but wore em, and used the potty for wees. Day2, exactly the same, couple of poo accidents Day3, hell, 7 changes of boxers, many wee and poo accidents, he was definately trying to break us Day 4, he gave up, and from then on beautifully weeing and pooing on the potty, no accidents either in or out of the house. then yesterday I said "were going to Tescos go and do a wee", he usually totally ignores me, he said "I wee on the toilet", and off he went to the bathroom....;well we couldn't belive it, gave us "big happy faces", thats how Max knows were happy. Can you believe it, so off to school Monday (first day in reception), boxers on, spares in the bag, 1:1 primed, I'm totally stressed over it, but hey thats another story. Hooray for my Max (he is 5 in 3 weeks btw). thanks everyone for your support and ideas Jo

Maxs statement was finalised after attempt 4, had a wonderful lady from NAS helping me, she wrote suggested statement, and advised me behind the scenes to have meeting with the LEA, which I did, and Max ended up with 27.7 hours support and a good statement. Took alot of work though, I researched alot, and felt like a lawyer in the end. Worth the fight though. Seemed hell at the time, whole process started in Dec 04, and finished in about May this year. Jo

Hi, I am amazed at this thread, I was going to post today with a similar thing, so I can't offer any advise, but sympathy as we are in similar situation. Max (4 & 10 mths) just wants to stay at home, on the PC or playstation. If I say shall we go to the park, he just says "no I want to stay here", and thats it. I feel like a prisoner sometimes, we never go anywhere. Then I find myself feeling resentful and then guilt as its not Max's fault. I get so sick and tired of being at home. I do go out to work, and hubby is house-husband, but going to work is just another prison really, instead of my son ruling the roost, its the bosses here. It seems Max feels safe at home, and no-where else. I would love for us to do things as a family, even simple things like going to the park, or a walk, but Max just refuses. He too starts school in 2 weeks, and I am very worried, he's been there to nursery for the last year and is having the same LSA. I am hoping it will make him better at going out, as he's definately been worse during the school holidays, perhaps its the break in routine. You get so low and fed up with it all, I know I do, sometimes just wish we could be a bit normal. So, as i said, I don't know what to suggest, but deffo sympathise. Jo

Max, 4 & 10 months, has been in pants for 2 weeks....hooray, but he won't go on the loo at all wees or poos, its in the potty, also not in the bathroom, a potty in the playroom and a potty in our bedroom. We got this far by going cold-turkey with the nappies, he fought for 3 days, had loads of accidents, and then seemed to realise we were not going to give up. It was tough but I'm glad I stuck with it. Perhaps your little one could do it in stages with poos, Max hates the toilet hence we are still at potty stage, could you try the potty in front of the TV? I know its not very sociable or politically correct, but, thats how we started it with Max, popped Nick Jnr on TV so he was distracted, and kept sitting him on the potty, and now he goes to the potty for poos and wees. Good luck, we never thought we'd get this far, its like people say, they suddenly just do it. Max starts school in 2 weeks, and I'm worried he will having pooing accidents, but will just send spare pants and trousers and see what happens, school know the score, and its in his statement that they have to support and deal with it and implement a toilet training program, so we shall see. Jo

That poem was lovely, here I am sitting in the office, trying not to blub. Also reminded me of my Max and my feelings for him so much, he was also a 3 days labour baby. X

Hi Mrs Q, we also get free nappies for Max (4), at first they told us they didn't do pull-ups, so I ordered Pampers baby-dry, but when I phoned the continence service to re-order, I wanted to change to size 6 and asked them what they had, and they did do pull-ups also, so we changed. The only thing is the allowance 3 per day for pull-ups instead of 5 per day for nappies, as they are more costly. Jo

Max starts Reception year in September, and I am very nervous about it. His TA is wonderful and has been with him through nursery, (the class next door) and will stay with him in school, but its such a long day for them, and hard work, so I am very worried, also he is supposed to eat lunch, and snack time, and he's never done that either. His TA has made him a scrap book with lots of photo-grahps and a story of the school gate, door, classroom, teacher, snacks, lunch, drinks, and then a picture of me and hubby fetching him, Max likes it, but I can't help but worry. Oh gosh. Jo

My son Max, nearly 5 is statemented, he is due to start full-time mainstream in September, his nursery and head mistress supported the statement, they had a lot of experience on it, and knew exactly how to word all the forms, and it all went through OK. I had to fight once we received the first draft, and had fantastic help from an NAS Advocate, but eventually got 27.7 hours 1:1. Its worth it if you cant get one, and it definately helps with the schools support. Jo

My son Max nearly 5, starts school in September, we have been trying to toilet train, biggest problem is he hates pants. We managed to progress before end of summer term to going to nursery in boxers, and he would go to the loo, but as soon as home would demand nappy. In these holidays its all gone to pot with pants, he's OK if just bared bottomed, and will use the potty when he needs a wee, he asks for a nappy for poos, but he won't wear the pants, just screams "I can't wear pants, I don't like pants", and thats it. If I force him into pants, when he wants a wee he jumps on the potty and wee's in his pants. Must admit am at a loss how to move on. Jo

Voted Boomerang, but Max also loves Nick Jnr and Noggin, but his favourite is also Adverts. He quotes em alot, right now he keeps saying "I'm an expert in potty training, get the DVD", so I say "do you want me to", and he says no. Typical, we are slowly and badly potty training right now. Jo

Great news, weve just re-applied as Max's runs out day before he is 5. Hopefully we will get mobility this time, but I'm not holding my breath. As long as we can keep high rate care I'll be happy. Well done you, its a rotten process and took me weeks to gear up to it. Jo

I think with Max (4 & half), if we do the whole "good big boy" thing, he doesn't like it, suddenly all this rush of smiles, loud voice, "big Boy" just overwhelmes him. Its like he's a cat and we (me and Daddy) are dogs, what pleases a cat doesn't please a dog, and vice-versa. My sisters cat hates fuss and love, my dog loves it. But both is OK as long as it works. So what we tend to say in a quiet normal voice with no tone changes "Max is a very good boy and Max had made Mommy have a happy face" (cus he's learning emotions with his TA right now). He seems to like that, and says "yes Mommy" with a big smile. Cheers Jo

I'm so glad to have found this post, I was going to do a post like this myself. Max is 4 & half, and nursery wanted to start toilet training him last month, as they thought he seemed aware. No complaints about nursery the teacher and Max's TA are fantastic, and say he has got enough change in September (big school), so try and start this before. OK we say we'll give it a go. Well, I hate it. Weve got 2 different battles, firstly Max hates pants, and secondly he doesn't know when he needs the loo..I think. He goes to nursery in a pull-up, they change him into pants, and take him to the toilet lots of times, he pulls pants down, sits on the loo, then nothing, they then draw him a smiley face on his toilet-chart for being a good boy and trying, cus they don't want anything negative. He then comes home, Kev takes him to the toilet, again he sits on, and nothing. 5 minutes later will wet himself and take everything off and ask for nappy. So, at the weekend, he had his swim trunks on all day, cus of paddling pool in garden and neighbours kids about. He liked them and kept em on all day (probably pee'd in the pool ). They were the short type trunks. So...off I go to Tesco and buy some boxers for him thinking they are higher waisted, and little shorts and not so tight...after much tickling and playing and calling em "trunks" instead of "pants", he is wearing em for 2 hours in the morning. A good start I think, as we couldn't get pants (like knickers) on at home at all, but he wants a pull-up on for nursery. Off to nursery and repeats the whole thing. I think we are making some progress in that weve got him to wear his "trunks", but thats about it. I'm not convinced and finding it all really stressful. When we go on hols in August its pull-ups all the way. All the so called experts say if we don't start now, he will get past the age of learning it, and never learn, so we have to teach him by rote. We will keep trying, but am worried about the stress on Max. Yesterday he told me "pants are bad because nappy is good", then "nappy is good because pants are bad!". I was stumped at that one. Today he said "trunks are good, nappy is bad", so ????? Any ideas anyone? Jo

Haliborange is the only one I can get him to take, cus guess what "its orange", I have to disguise it in another bottle also. Theres no way he would take anything that isn't orange in colour or taste, you know what its like I'm abit worried about the ingredients that Karen says, I have no idea what they really mean? Does anyone else? Jo p.s. he's calming down now

I must confess, we have turned our dining room into a playroom, with a TV, DVD & video in there, and piped Sky into it. Its the thing that calms Max (4) down, particularly adverts would you believe. I suppose some would say its bad to let him have too much TV, but for Max is really does work, and gives piece to the rest of the household too. Theres only so much CBeebies & Nick piggin Jnr you can take. Jo