phoebe

That's brill! I am so pleased to hear that you are finally getting somewhere. I really hope that things continue to look up for you and send you lots of <'> <'> Phoebe

pull

Well done you - I really hope that it all works out for the best for you. Keep us posted!! <'> <'> <'> Phoebe

The Champ - ooooh remember watching that as a child and crying - a lovely film! Also Kramer vs Kramer - always makes me cry though and I can never resist Grease or Top Gun when they come on the telly! Lots of the others that have been mentioned earlier too and I am a bit of a sucker for a good Disney movie - cant remember if that is before or since I had the kids!! I still remember Toy Story word for word!

pear

Happy Birthday sweetie

I keep reading your post and the repsonses and wondering how to reply <'> <'> I really feel for you and have been there and certainly lost it with my son, in fact his temper and the violence that goes with it are the main reasons we started to seek help because I know that as he gets stronger, I will not stand a chance if he loses it with me. The difference is, he is still only 8, so we havent got to the teenage/hormone years yet, I can easily see that I could be exactly in your shoes in a few years time. We all know that losing it doesn't help the situation and that it would be the last thing that we would wish to do, but it happens, we are human. BTDT! I have said before that everything that we do behaviour management wise is to try to prevent him getting to a stage of meltdown, but we also try to help him to manage his feelings of anger, when it does get there. I dont know how capable your DS is, but have you tried doing any anger management with him? Could you speak to your GP or SS about his anger and describe what can happen and ask if there is anything that they can suggest or offer. It is a common problem sadly and some areas run courses for teenagers who have anger management problems. There is an excellent book called "volcano inmy tummy" that we have used, but it is aimed at children a bit younger than your lad. Behaviour Support recommended it to us,maybe they will be able to come up with some helpful interventions. The old thing about it being ok to get angry but never ok to hurt someone message needs to be emphasised again and again, but we also need to give them some way to recognise the way they are feeling, to try to manage themselves and prevent them, getting out of control and a safe way to handle the anger if it gets to that stage. (trampoline, punch bag, run, loud music), something to burn off that burst of energy that comes with the anger. Hopefully, you have found something within all the replies you have to work with and things begin to look up 4 u. Look after you Love and hugs Phoebe

WELL DONE you. WELL DONE. Just making the decision and actually asking for help is such a momentous thing to do. You will begin to feel better and I hope you start to see a small chink of light to make your way towards. IN the meantime - many <'> <'> <'> for you and keep us posted. Thank heavens for this forum. Love and hugs Phoebe

I do hope that you managed to get some sleep and that today you feel a bit better. The reality is though that, you really need to ask for help. You were right about it being a grieving process, and whilst you are grieving, you still need to be on the ball, coping with every day life, motherhood and work. It is no wonder, even we "copers" get so down trodden that it gets to the stage where you are now. The hardest thing is to admit this and to ask for help. I dont know if you have considered it, but really think about going to your doctors. I did, I couldn't actuallly speak when I got there because I was so emotionallly drained and screwed up. I finally went because I realised that I couldn't be me anymore, I couldn't be the mother I wanted to be for my children and I was sinking fast. Eventually, I took an article with me and handed it to him. He was so supportive and understanding. You could print off your post and take it with you. I too, continue my life without the love of my husband and we simply share the same house. It compunds all the issues, because I feel I would cope much better if I just felt like someone loved me and showed me some affection, even consideration; some love, a common purpose ANYTHING. I did go onto Antidepressants and for me it helped me to cope. It gave me the strength to tell my nearest and dearest how I was feeling and at least they now realise a bit more and try to help. The relationship with my husband is sadly still dire. He does work away quite frequently and it suits us, but really it is no life, just pretending and one day, I will have to face up to that and make some changes. I am no longer on the antidepressants. I felt more able to cope after about a year of taking them and stopped. There were no side effects. If I get to that stage again, I would definitely go back on them, the difference is I WOULD GO SOONER. PLease look after you. Love and hugs PHOEBE

WEll done you. CONGRATULATIONS. Gorgeous LOve PHoebe

o baby <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> Dont know what to say. You poor thing. WELL done for writing it down - hopefully that gave you some release. You know there are many people on here who understand. I wish I could think of something worthwhile to say, that doesn't sound crass, but ........................................I really just wanted you to have a virtual hug and to let you know that we are out here listening and are here to support each other in any way we can. Love and hugs Phoebe

Yep - we too. Been through Sonic and currently with crash bandicoot. Pretty harmless I think?! Oh and he can talk forever about YU-gi-oh cards and battles and how he is going to defeat....... Mind boggling boring, MIND BOGGLING MEND BOOGLING boogly mendering.

clean

but(t)

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> You poor luv. WE also altered our sons diet - it helped so much, we wouldn't consider going back and it was only done out of desperation! Started out as a consequence actually!! Dont know how to help but we are here for you love and hugs Phoebe

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> The Neil - take heart from your online buddies - I always enjoy reading your posts. WORM................................................................ MP !!!!!!!!!!!!! (to those who dont go there this is from one word association) HEy CHIN up ITS not all bad Tally ho Soon it will be January, the days will start to get longer and the season of Good Will be over. At least he values your expertise? I'm RAMBLING doh hugs Phoebe

then

still waiting to hear a response to our req for a stat assessment - of course they did offer us an inclusion partnership agreement. I think this is another word for COP OUT as it involved no ongoing support in the classroom, just a series of "meetings by interested parties" - you know the ones who never send the same representative twice and the ones "who don't deal with Autism or ASpergers." Got my sleeves rolled up for the fight!

For those who understand, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, no explanation is enough. I admired the wise sentiment in your signature from the first time I read the forum. Sadly most of my family including my DH fit into the latter part of the statement. Thank God for friends and for this FORUM!

Yep - that was what we concluded with our DS in the end. He also has this strange appearance when he is sleeping sometimes where his hands will be clenched up - almost as though in spasm - anyone else seen this?

monday

my son was also having these sort of absent periods which we mentioned to the psych at our diagnoses meeting and she referred him for an eeg in case it was petit mal epilepsy. apparently there is a known link. So if you are worried about it at all - mention it to your doc and get it checked out.

sadly, I also find this to be true. I am off A-D's now, but found myself spiralling down and down in the months after my son's diagnosis. I found this article on the internet and used it to ask my Doc for help http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/grandparents.html It is written by an American, so some of the coments about the "support you will get" doesn't exist here - all the more reason we find it hard to cope. My son is currently enjoying a brilliant period of settled behaviour, which is fab for all of us, shame my husband isn't............................................................. likely to be another one of those down sides to having an ASD child comes true here.

awwww thanks guys! Haven't been in for a while - must have some catching up to do!!

oops - almost missed it hope you are having a ball!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BAGPUSS HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU Love and hugs Phoebe