bid

Hi Bevalee, Of course, the million dollar/pound question... Is this 'wonderful' new school going to cost less than 'You Know Where'?? If the fees are the same, why won't they agree to the school of your choice? Good luck, Bidx

Don't feel bad <'> I was phoned at 7.45 in the morning(!!!!!) by my son's Head of Year saying of course he could be withdrawn from PE, but that we would have to take him home! Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I would probably agree to anything at that time on a school morning, trying to get 4 children ready to go! It was only after I posted here and as a result contacted the Disability Rights Commission that I realised I had been 'stitched up'! Over the weekend we wrote a letter to the Head pointing out the error of the school's way . The school backed down very quickly, but I was confronted with 'but you seemed quite happy when I phoned...' from the Head of Year! Yeah, right!! So, don't feel that you've got it wrong <'> You achieved something brilliant for your son...now you just need to fine tune it! Incidentally, my son worked in the library during his disapplied lessons, or sometimes in the SENCO's room...you could suggest this to the school? Good luck! Bid I found the Disability Rights Commission helpline very good over this issue (08457 622633). They gave me the correct phrases to use when talking to the school

Excellent news! But I'm afraid I agree with Helen My son's old mainstream school tried this with us over being withdrawn from PE We pointed out this was discrimination and a form of illegal exclusion, and they backed down. If a child was unable to access PE because of a serious medical condition they wouldn't be expected to go home. Sorry Bads, but we actually challenged the school straight away about this. I'm not sure it's a good idea to wait because then they can just say 'but you've been quite happy with the arrangement so far!!' Interestingly, we never had any problem with him being disapplied from a modern foreign language, which happened first. It was the PE which caused all the problems Good luck...and don't feel as though they are doing you some kind of huge favour. You are perfectly within your legal rights to have these lessons disapplied! Bid in fighting mood!!

Hi Sallyanne Apologies if you have already done this... I also submitted photocopies of my son's work, extracts from his planner and an exam paper to show his problems with handwriting and organisation. Good luck! Bid Just another thought...it's great that the school is supportive, but the Head will need to submit additional evidence, not just resubmit what has already been turned down if you see what I mean

Hi Sallyanne, The main thing is not to give up! Keep on fighting, even when it feels hopeless, and you will get there in the end! Bid

So glad things are looking up Annie Bid

Hurrah for Jester too!! Bid

Great stuff! Bid

Go Rabbit!! Just don't give them the satisfaction of giving in! We're all behind you <'> Bidx As regards the self-harm, we found that we had to keep ringing, and asking the various professionals exactly who would be taking responsibility, because when something really serious happened we would be taking legal action for negligence. This seems to focus their minds somewhat, and we certainly would have taken legal action in the event of an even more serious episode or suicide attempt . Ask to speak to the consultant at CAMHS, or at least his/her secretary...then cry down the phone and say you are at crisis point and you can't go on It's awful, I know only too well because we have been there, but you just have to keep on and on asking for emergency appointments/help. Good luck <'> <'>

Nellie, you're a star! Bidx

Hi Rabbit, First of all, apologies if I have got the wrong end of the stick! If a child is absent from school because of ill health, and this includes depression and mental health problems, the LEA has a legal responsibility to provide home tuition. I have posted the relevant legislation elsewhere, but I'm pants at doing links! (Nellieeeee?!) My son was out of school, with letters from his GP and consultant along the same lines as the letter your GP wrote about your son. He had 5 hours of home tuition until he went to a specialist residential school for AS and HFA. I know of at least one other member with a child receiving home tuition for mental health reasons. So I don't understand your LEA saying your son can't have any home tuition. Have you contacted the Disability Rights Commission (08457 622633) as they might be able to help you with the legality of this aspect of your school problems?? Good luck! Bid

Feel free, Carole Bidx

WOW!!! This is just the best news!! It did feel funny to have my son go away to school, but 2 things kept me going... First, he was desperate to go! Second, I knew that this was the only way he would have any real future. Have you told your daughter yet? I would have thought any horse-mad teenager would go wild at such a chance! Will the support be autism-specific at all? Bid

Well, of course it would have to be Liv Tyler! I'd settle for Kate Bush... But I'd probably end up with Steve Tyler! Female Inquisitor

Hi Annie, You say that it has been made clear that your son will not be allowed to go to another school But if this school is not meeting the provision in his Statement, which it seems to me it can't possibly be doing, then as I understand things you have a right to ask for a different placement to be considered. If you decide to do this, I would advise doing your research first so that you can show your LEA some schools that will fulfill the provision in his Statement and offer him the right kind of support. It seems to me that this placement is just not working, and you have every right to a suitable placement for your son. Don't believe the LEA when they say this or that isn't possible...if you fight you will be surprised at what they will 'miraculously' suddenly find it possible to do. Good luck, Bid

Annie <'> Neither you or your son have to put up with this situation Have you considered investigating a specialist school for AS/HFA?? Probably would be residential unless you live nearby. It is really worth fighting for this. If you want to PM me I can give you some names just for starters... Bidx

Simon <'> <'> As you say, it would be funny if it was not so serious I'm speechless, but sadly not surprised. When the HV observed my 3 year old in Playgroup, the staff there said he was fine and they could see no problems before adding as an after-thought that he knew their names, but not really any of the other children's after being there nearly 3 terms!! I do so hope you can get something suitable organised for your son. You begin to wonder whether these people think we have nothing better to do than 'imagine' these difficulties Don't give up! <'> Bidx

Hi Dylanspace <'> Your situation certainly puts things into perspective! I do hope you track down the right support for your daughter. Bid

So sorry to hear this, Lisa <'> We struggled for the whole of my son's time in primary school with teachers who said they couldn't see anything 'wrong' with him! So you have my heartfelt sympathy! Don't give up...if I had been able to access support and advice from this forum then I would have achieved much more than I did <'> Bid

I think the problem with 'inclusion' has been that all Special Needs have just been lumped together So it may be entirely appropriate that a child with, say, Cerebral Palsy is now in mainstream...and they may benefit hugely from this experience, as may their peers. BUT, there is a world of difference between an NT child with CP and a child with an ASD...and this is what successive governments and therefore LEAs and schools have failed (refused??) to understand. Bid

Everything is crossed!! Bidx

Morning, Badster Mmmmm, I had to think about your reply for a while! First of all, I only said that Auriel is gifted because some people on this forum have been told by various 'professionals' that their child is too bright to get a specialist placement ( it wasn't swank ). At his AS/HFA school there is a cross-section of abilities, but it is only within this specialist provision that my son is finally fulfilling his potential. Second...the possible problem after leaving a specialist placement of failing to 'fit in' socially. This is why we need more Special Colleges with link provision to mainstream colleges. At the College Auriel will hopefully go to, the AS/HFA students have their own base room to use outside lessons...some AS students never use it because they are off with their 'mainstream mates', some use it for some of the time and others always use it. But they have that support in place for them to choose or not as they decide. After 10 years in mainstream my son had no self-esteem left. He desperately wanted to be with 'people like me' (his words to any professional we saw). By the time he went to his new school he had almost completely withdrawn from the NT world But after just 4 weeks in his new school he had the confidence to join Christmas family get-togethers, etc. So, from our experience I don't feel that 'inclusion' as it stands now works. I feel it is a form of discrimination because at the moment it seeks to make the ASD child 'fit in' & 'cope'. This may well work superficially within primary school for some children, but I personally think secondary school is a completely different case. Expectations are so different, especially when you get to GCSEs. I also think our children deserve better than 'coping strategies'...I don't think that is 'inclusive' or a real education. Sorry...got carried away and ended up ranting! Of course, it's great for anyone for whom it does work, but judging by the posts on this forum you can probably count them on the fingers of one hand. Sorry everyone if I've been too forthright...it's just that we have been through both primary and secondary school in mainstream, and we were the ones who were left to pick up the pieces after 'inclusion'. Bid Also meant to add, that there will always be some high-functioning children who need a 24 curriculum. For some children it is just not possible within an ordinary family setting to provide them with the support package they need...either in emotional or practical/logistical terms, even with outside help (if there was such a thing...which there isn't!).

Hi Bads, What about specialist AS/HFA schools like the one my son goes to? This has been nothing short of miraculous for him...he is very high functioning and 'gifted' (I hate that word!). On the down side, after exhaustive research we found only two schools in the whole country that were appropriate for him, and the other one didn't have a place (and didn't 'feel right' for him, if you know what I mean...). I think we need AS/HFA bases attached to mainstream schools, but I also think we need more residential AS/HFA specialist schools too, because some youngsters will always need a 24 hour curriculum. We also need more AS/HFA Special Further Education Colleges to follow on from school. Again, only about 3 in the whole country that we could find . They are a great idea, using link provision with local mainstream FE Colleges. What makes me so angry is that with this type of provision young people with AS can and do go on to become independent, contributing members of our community. Without this sort of support too many end up with serious mental health problems and limited independence. This post 16 provision is also something we should all be fighting for, because although it might seem years away now, all our children will be young adults sooner than we think...with currently precious little provision or understanding Bid

Hi From our experience of my son ending up having a complete breakdown after 'coping' in mainstream for 10 years I am 100% in favour of specialist education. Once I saw what a AS specific school is like, and then witnessed the transformation of my son after only 4 weeks in this environment, I strongly feel all AS children should have the opportunity of this type of education. I wish there were AS bases attached to mainstream schools. It makes me absolutely furious that our children only get the chance for this kind of school when they have had a breakdown or become suicidal, etc... I only wish my son could have spent the last 10 years in an AS specialist school. I think it is a very real form of discrimination...to my mind, 'inclusion' is really about trying to make autistic children 'normal'...at traumatic cost to them and their families Bid

Good luck to everyone with meetimgs tomorrow <'> Bid