jlp

My son also had toileting problems when he moved from reception to Y1 (didn't like the noise in the Y1 toilets and was afraid to be alone) His first school refused to let him use the reception toilets and what with other things he ended up moving to a different school. The second school are fine - he can go to the toilet with someone else and it's not an issue at all. We've had no more problems (mind you the 1st school toilets were a bit creepy even for an adult!) It doesn't seem as though the current school are sympathetic to your son at all - how horrid for the teacher to laugh at him!

Hi Karen It's a hard question. I know G does feel things for other people but not always. I can remember my uncle dying last July and my mam was terribly upset - G asked the next day if Grandma would be happy again now (we'd explained she was sad) and less then a week later if Grandma did something to annoy him then he'd shout 'I'm glad your brother died' - he'd obviously realised that this would make Grandma sad but not the total inappopriateness (sp?) of what he was saying. If I was to say trip or know myself he may or may not ask if I was ok, but if he did show sympathy it wouldn't last eg he'd be cross if I couldn't do something a minute later because my leg hurt or whatever. There was a hit and run outside our school on Tuesday and as you know G had a huge fuss about going in on Wednesday. The Asd liasion teacher has decided it was quite possibly because of the Hit and Run. I know perfectly well that it wasn't a) because he'd already started his fuss before we heard about the accident at prayers in school and it sounds awful but he wouldn't really care anyway unless it was possibly me or L. So I suppose in answer to your question I would say very limited empathy, which is aften understood in theory (although if he doesn't like the theory he will refuse it - we're trying to talk about school and how other people feel if he does x y and z but he won't even have other people and theirview points written on the paper, I think because he doesn't like their viewpoint!)

Hi I have been going through really worried phases since my 2 and 3/4 yr old was about 6mth. DS#1 (6) has AS. I did take a huge list to the Child and Family Unit but it was agreed we'd look at ds#2 again when he was 3. They said with 'classical' autism it was obviously possible to diagnose before 3 but with 'milder' (As etc)forms they couldn't really assess before 3. Atm minute I'm quite happy with ds#2, he's happy and sociable, was a bit slow to talk but has made up for it and has just started nursery 2 mornings a week and is sooo happy to go there. It's such a change from when ds#1 started and was so upset and lashing out and we were always being called in etc. Things ds#2 has done which concerned me were - getting tins out of the kitchen cupboard and lining them up, lining cars, trains up etc, not liking his hands to be sticky or wet, he was a very picky eater, hysterical at getting clothes and nappy changed and so on - all things that could be any 2 year old but more significant when you already have a child with problems (and when I think of the things ds#1 did at that age - I wonder why alarm bells weren;t ringing loudly). Hard though it is I think unless soemthing is glaringly obvious then we have to wait and see at least until they start nursery when any differences seem to become more apparent. On the bright side - as I said I've had so many moments of being convinced my ds#2 has AS too and as time goes on a lot of the worries have went. I still get my 'worried mum' head on and I think that's normal.

Hi another reply saying don't feel guilty! Our consultant told us that G needs sleep, everyone needs sleep, to grow and dream and for our bodies to repair themselves. I think you do really well having him up until 10pm, mine are in bed at 8pm and by then I've had enough! One thing I remember intensified my guilt when I first started giving G melatonin was how quickly it took effect - he fell asleep on the sofa within 5 minutes the first time and I felt terrible. They get used to it and it doesn't happen so instantly. Nowadays G wouldn't fall asleep on it unless he was in bed. G was 5 when he started his and I didn't tell him but put it into a cup of water and stirred. Once he queried it (you can still see the powder a bit) and I said it was his medicine. He's had so much medication over the years (he has severe eczema) that he takes pretty much anything without question as long as it doesn't taste too nasty. And to add to everyone else saying the same thing - YOU need sleep! Without sleep you get run down and depressed and you can't be on top form as a mum, your family need you to be well too.

So glad to hear that The family fund are great. I was awarded driving lessons last year and have just passed my test - it's still at the new scary stage but it will make life so much easier.

I'm waiting until George (6) can be alone in a room again. He used to let me go to the loo etc when he was 3, then along came Thomas, Diesel 10 and it's grabber! The fear of being alone has long since evolved past the original fear and now he won't be alone anywhere or by himself in the bath or his bed - thank goodness for his 2yr old brother who I can put in the bath with him and George is now in bed with Leon). It's like having a newborn who I have to take everywhere with me he can't even go to the toilet by himself. One day I'm sure this will pass....other obsessions have

I bf ds#1 (AS) until he was 13months, he did have the ocasional bottle of formula when my mam had him. Gradually got him onto cows milk in a bottle from 13mth and it wasn't too tramatic. ds#2 (so far nt) was bf until 2 1/2 and was a nightmare to stop feeding! He had a milk allergy (which he now seems to have grown out of but still won't drink it) and this made it much harder to stop feeding him. He also had barely any solids until he stopped feeding but has improved a lot. With ds#2 we set a day to literally stop feeding cold turkey style as cutting down gradually wasn't working - we (I!) had a nightmare few days but he's fine now at 2 3/4 and is eating much better.

My son did that a few times at 3, I think he was just having too much fun outside to bother going in and up to the loo! At 5 I caught him weeing behing the settee - he'd developed a fear of going to the toilet by himself and we'd been trying to encourage him to go (he'd previously went happily). We gave up then and reassured him we'd always go to the toilet with him if he needed us! Seems to have worked. Will she go to the toilet at other times?

I've been asked if 'he'll grow out of it?' and 'if it's just an attention seeking thing?' I replied 'no, it's autism'. Most annoying as the same person had already asked the same questions previously. I don't go overboard on explainations these days - if people are really interested then I would but most aren't!

No help I'm afraid but my son (6) is driving me mad with a broad Geordie accent! Now we are Geordies but don't have broad accent but ds is driving me up the wall with 'aa divven't knaa', 'aam ganning oot' I can't think of anyone he sees who speaks so broadly. Also there's some babyish expressions creeping in like 'I getted' instead of 'got' Nice to know it's not just us. At one point we were subjected to his interpretion of the voice of a boy from school - everything said twice and in a really annoying voice!

Goodness me, well done on not hitting him! For what it's worth (not very much!) I live on a working class council estate, my son doesn't play outside as a) it would be dangerous and b ) no-one wants to play with him, he's driven to school (since I passed my driving test 2 weeks ago ) since I've dragged him there kicking, screaming and lashing out at random passerbys for 4 years and though I do agree it's better for children to walk to school, I've decided that for now I've done my bit! He does what homework is set by school, which I thought was my parental responsibility (surely a school governer should appreciate this?), he does spend far too much time on the pc as it's his 'special interest' but weekends only and yes he probably does get a few more things than I got as a child - his life is restricted in the 'normal' childhood sort of way so he has a few more garden toys as he's stuck in the garden and same for regular toys as a small compensation (though obviously he doesn't know that's why) What a prat! And how scary considering he's a school governer that he can't see past his preconceived ideas and isn't open to being educated at all.

that made me laugh out loud! Actually I say similar things and coming to think about it, I get shot a lot too

Hi My son was diagnosed with AS at 4 and after the diagnosis his consultant said she felt he was more towards the PDA side of things (he's 6 now). I can see that in him at times but after initially reading the NAS article (and it was just after diagnosis so my eyes really picked out the 'often poor outcome' bit in the NAS article) it scared me (bearing in mind I've only read very limited stuff so couldn't say I'm an expert). AS is something I've come to know and understand and changing everything (eg they say children benefit from changes in routine as opposed to AS where obviously they like routine) I've learnt was just too much so I've veered right away from PDA. It it was screamingly obvious that that was what he had I suppose I'd have to persue it but at the minute I just feel that I can't cope with any more after the AS diagnosis if that makes any sense at all. What a good opportunity you got to discuss it at the Elizabeth Newson Centre - I'd probably be interested in finding out more at a later date and it would be interesting to see if they think G could have this, no one has suggested we take the possible PDA thing further, just suggested that these traits conribute to making him extremely difficult to manage and 'oppositional' (I spotted the word in a report about G and it sums him up rather well) I'm sorry I'm rambling, I should be in bed - I suppose my opinion is (atm) that PDA may well exist but I'd prefer it not too!

Wouldn't be my cup of tea either - I'd feel as though I was justifying my son for me (and I must admit sometimes I do get embarrassed but I don't feel the need to tell people that he has AS very often at all, I generally let them make their own judgements whatever they may be ) Actually George has severe eczema and we were sent a teeshirt from the Nation Eczema Society saying 'smile, it's only eczema' and I've never put him in that either.

Oh no Karen - it leaves you shaking doesn't it? George would have reacted in exactly the same way because he really does not understand accidents and the fright he got or hurt he feels makes him angry (it's one of our biggest problems), if he walks into a door for example at home the door will get thumped together with him screaming 'why do you have such stupid doors in your house, take them away!' and if someone laughed - well that just makes the whole issue explode. I'd go armed with a printout and a guilt trip - and say if she has any further problems with J then you'd be grateful if she took them up with the school as you have enough on your plate. We've only had one incident at school (a dad taking it upon himself to tell G off) and luckily my mam was there not me and she was very calm. We'd already been into school about the girl in question as she'd been winding G up terribly at playtimes for months. The dad later apologised to my mam and said he'd been having a bad morning. <'>

Hi Ian Can I ask roughly when the practice in Newcastle will be opening? Will the practice be by someone who you could reccomend? And would an assessment be able to tell if a child did have prosopagnosia or is it for if a child is already diagnosed? Sorry if I sound dense - just thinking a private assessment might be worth saving up for. Thanks Janice

Well mentioned my concerns at the hospital and the practioner we see was very nice and didn't make me feel too mad for asking. She did point out that as G uses much less eye contact than most then he isn't getting to see their faces as much so will take longer to be able to identify them / remember names. Also that he will find other ways to identify people. She also wondered if it was remembering the names that might be a problem not the face. It's all very confusing! I suppose when he's older it'll become clearer whether it's a real problem or not? Edited to add - sorry the post on Com being able to see reminded me I never updated!

Hi Caroline I haven't got my son's speech assessment handy (lent it to school and must ask for it back) but off the top of my head - RS probably means receptive speech which I think is what they can understand (please feel free to correct me). I also had a score for expressive speech which is what they say (again, anyone else feel free to correct) Not sure about standard score but centiles go from 1 - 100 and are like the scores you get when your baby gets weighed, say you took 100 children of the same age then the child on the 50th centile would be totally average, in the middle. I'm clear as mud at explaining things but I hope that gives you an idea. Janice x

I feel under house arrest as everywhere's so busy and ds#1 doesn't always do public transport well. We really need one to one too and I have ds#2 so that makes it doubly tricky. He's fine about the lack of routine and quite happy to chill out in pjs until lunch time but too long in the house and they start climbing the walls - I'd prefer to take them out but dp thinks they should be able to entertain themselves and that they don't need to be out every day (but I do for my sanity!) Can't wait until I pass my driving test so I'm not stuck trying to persuade dp to go out! Karen - will email you later, boys permitting. I took G to see Chicken Little yesterday and we are paying the price for the pick n mix today. It's not half term this week is it?! Haven't a holiday list from the new school yet.

95 for my as ds#1 (6) and 42 for ds#2 who's 2 (and who I alternate between worrying about and telling myself I'm neurotic!) I answered quite cautiously for both and ds#1 would have scored higher when younger.

My son didn't score very highly on the ADOS test but we were told at the time that this didn't rule out the possibility of an ASD, following school and home visits and many, many parental interview hours then about 7 sessions of play with an OT he was diagnosed with AS. Hope this helps <'> PS My son is also highly anxious even on the asd scheme of things, we were asked about medication but following a team meeting it was decided he was too young (he's just turned 6) so it wasn't a decision we had to take at this time. xx

What lovely stories <'> Feeling all emotional now. It's sometimes hard to remember the 'good' things but so nice to hear about other people's good times and beautiful children

I was wondering if, as a lot of us have had pretty awful days, it might be nice to share something lovely about our children? Mine is (ds#1 is 6 and has AS) that it was my birthday on Wednesday and not only did he insist my mam bought a birthday cake and some 'party' food, but when they were in the kitchen secretly (!) writing out my card he went to his money box and got a ?10 note out and put it in my card. Nearly made me cry. Also at school a few months they had a charity box in the classroom and of his own accord he took all of his money out (it was about ?5 at the time) and insisted on donating it. When I said if he really wanted to give money a ?1 would be fine he said 'well ?5 should really sort them out mammy' As money's so important to him (he's saving - it was for a conservatory but we've suggested a playstation) and he loves counting it etc I thought that was lovely and it gives me so much hope that underneath all these strops etc there's a lovely kind sensitive little boy. God help you if you borrow ?1 without asking though! I'd love to hear other people's happy stories

Oh no. <'> to both of you, puts my nightmare bedtime right into proportion! And I'm lucky as mine are still little, dreading when they're bigger. Hope peace is now reigning. xx

Thank you for the replies - it is interesting. Is there anyway I can find out this is a possibility? All I can think of is finding some photos of friends / family members - but most seem to be in a context that you could guess at anyway? Maybe if I can find some photos of familiar people in unfamiliar context if that makes sense - say G's Godmother in her own house where he doesn't visit as he has allergies to her pets? Would I refresh his memory by showing him a different photo of her first? Sorry to sound clueless and it may be nothing but not sure how to find out if it is a possibility or not? I haven't seen any other threads on here but will have a search now.