llisa32

Hiya, You're right that you shouldn't do a full exclusion diet while he's underweight at the moment..and def you should wait until they have finished all the other tests etc before doing a 'full' exclusion. But...if they are testing for crohns or Celiac then you should not exclude anything until after those tests have been done - otherwise you may impact the results. The peppermint oil and flaxeed may help with the spasms etc in the meantime, and drinking loads of water My diet is not too restricted...you kinda get used to it to avoid the pain and upset stomachs. All the major supermarkets do loads of wheat free bread, pasta etc these days but you do need to have already been checked out for celiac and crohns before you start excluding. I can only tolerate bread that has no wheat and no 'added' yeast..so end up with the least nice tasting bread thats only edible if you toast and smother in srambled eggs Generally I stick with any meat, loads of veg, potatoes, sweet potatoes..etc practically nothing processed..although these days even those will have notes on the back telling you if they are gluten free etc so sometimes I get lucky. Sometimes I will just have that huge cream cake thats begging me to eat it...but I make sure I have no early meetings etc the next day cos know I'll be in a bit of pain etc and will need to take longer to get ready. I honestly don't think he needs to be anxious to have IBS...some people just seem to be more inclined. There is a school of thought where some people believe that over exposure to certain foods leads eventually to a sensitivity...I'm not sure I entirely agree with that, but may again be worth looking into. Aloe Vera is also really good at calming the bowels/spasams etc but it tastes really yeuch!...so don't know if you want to give that a go or not. So...pep oil, flaxeed, aloe vera etc can all be bought from health shop or large boots and none of those should affect any tests you're due to have but may make your son more comfy in the meantime. There is a painkiller for ibs type spasams that u can buy at boots but not sure if your son's old enough to take it - you'd need to check with the phramacist. Hope that helps Lisa

Really sorry to hear about your cat....Hope your daughters ok <'> Take care Lisa

Hiya...I suffer quite a lot with my own stomach so your son has my sympathy You need the blood test for Crohns..but not for intolerence...perhaps it is IBS, and this with a lot of people is aggravated by wheat and or dairy. You could try cutting out wheat for a few days and see if any benefits. Peppermint oil helps a lot for me, usually take some at least an hour before food if my stomachs playing up. Flaxeed oil capsules are also good to take on a daily basis... I assume the docs have checked for appendix trouble etc already? For me I get really bad pain and cramps with the following: Wheat, corn, milk, soya...my digestive system just can not handle them. Fraid I have no other suggestions but I hope you get a resolution soon...it's awful to have so much pain, please wish your son well.

I really hope this works out for you all Hev...I've got my fingers crossed for you Try and just relax a bit tonight - are you allowed to phone to see how he's getting on?

Hi....My son normally goes to his dads on a sunday, and is always happy to go etc etc..Today he had his other nan and grandad visiting who he doesn't see very often and he also had a party invite. My ex, J's dad...did not fancy trying to fit the party in amongst other things he had planned today...no surprise there cos anything 'social' he tends to avoid like the plague!. As his parents were visiting I thought that J should give this one a miss anyway..esp as he has another couple of invites in the next two weeks and in my opinion kids need to learnt that sometimes putting family first is a natural part of life. Ex had said well to soften the blow I'm due to get him the video game he wanted so you can tell him I've got him that. Now for the confusing part...Ex thought I should give J the 'choice'..given that he's 7, I felt he would obs choose the party over seeing relatives and was too young to be given such a choice - like I said...sometimes it's a part of life and stuff we have to do. But...his dad (who is very very likely aspergers) has never put family first before anything, and see's nothing wrong with J behaving in same way. So to cut a long story short...J went off to dads today, got his game, happily played that.,...happily greated nan and grandad and all was well until j in a very matter of fact way said to nan 'I couldn't go to B's party today because you were visiting'....Nan said 'oh!, I'm sure mummy wouldn't have said that' J then questions dad...dad says 'But J you were given a CHOICE, you were given the OPTION. I've highlighted those two cos then we had fallout on a grand scale! J rings me saying 'you did not give me a choice, I had no option and dad says I should have done' etc etc..He then gets really really upset about missing it because nan and dad have given him the impression that he could/should have gone if he wanted to!!. Part of the fliipin problem with dad being so self centrered is that all his life he has done exactly as he wants and it has not helped him with his relationships at all. And now they obs see nothing wrong with J being the same"! What follwed was about an hour of J crying down the phone to me...once he'd stopped going on about the party he then just wanted to come home to me. Didb't want to sleep there, eat there, anything!. It totally ruined my day having him so upset...he was sobbing his heart out to come home. Eventually I texted my ex and told him that J had been on fone sobbing and wanted to come home (which if he'd been paying attention he would have fliipin wel,knowne"!) and then J phoned me saying daddy was fine with him coming home and could i go get him. When I picked him up he was puffy faced and red eyed but happy I'd gone...but it could all so easily have been advoided. She's also the nan that will say things like 'oh,,but it would be sooo nice if he had some friends' etc ...usually within ear shot of j!! At the moment my ex has still not read the tony attwood book i gave him about 8 weeks ago and I'm feeling like I'd like to suggest somewhere for him to put it! Sorry for long rant but I've already worn hubby's ears out

J's mum...as you know my J is as yet undiagnosed with anything but we suspect aspergers. He asks incessant questions!...sometimes without even waiting for the answer before asking another!...you get breathless without even speaking if you know what I mean I think we can well and truely assume that the guy who provided respite this weekend was clueless/thoughtless and really not worth to call himself a 'respite worker' I hope your email and complaint gets him at least a written warning.

J's mum.....I think you need to hang onto your self confidence and belief...and then complain about this self rigteous bloke you had the pleasure of coming into contact with this weekend. My instinct would be to tell him where to put his opinions! You didn't ask him for them and it's not his job to give them You have your specialists opinions to work with...go with them and your own instincts. I'd complain about this guy and ask for someone different....no point giving you a couple of hours respite and then upsetting you himself when he gets back! Please please keep believing in yourself Take Care

Have a great time!

yeyyy!!, and it's great that although he has been a weeny bit uncomfy he's stuck with it and come through!! Esp for getting the award today - huge well done!! Hope he's feeling dead proud of himself

Thats great news! - it's so nice to hear about all these good things...Well done El!!

Hi, Whilst I had J in the car yesterday and in a fairly 'chatty' mood (in that he would answer my questions), I thought I'd ask him if knew how I could describe what a friend was...I confess I sortof white lied and said I wanted some good answers cos I was entering a competion ... I have to admit to being really really surprised at what he answered with: 1. A friend is someone who helps you with difficult stuff 2. A friend is someone who helps you not feel lonely 3. A friend is someone to play with He did give me 5 altogether but I confess to forgetting what the other 2 were at the moment...I think because I was so shocked at what he answered me with. That sounds a little bad I think...I just really wasn't expecting anything so 'deep' re points 1 and 2 from my 7 year old. I think I'd thought to myself that he didn't know what a 'friend' was as he has such difficulty making them etc...so I underestimated him. I asked whether they had been discussing friends at school...maybe circle time etc...he didn't answer so I don;t know. I don't know how I feel about his answers...on the one hand I was really proud that he knew what a friend should be, but then I struggle in my head to work out the current reality. I guess given his replys I now know why he does want friends so badly...which sortof makes me sad ....but I know we're currently on a mission of social 'practising' with any child within a 2 mile radius..so If my patience can hang in there hopefully he'll end up with a couple of friends that are friends. I know he's still only ickle...but ahhhh.....y they always get u right there

Sounds lovely Pearl...I'm deeply jealous and hope you have a wonderful time

Hiya, I'm currently in a simialar situation, but like Kathryn my son at school just shows a couple of 'quirky' behaviours and school 'ignore' those and just support him, and I guess treat him like any other...although I have started to notice in this last week only that they are paying close attention to what he's doing at breaktime etc, and how much expression he's using when reading etc etc. I was worried about him having what some see as a 'label' because the impression I got from the school is that they most definately don't like them. However...when I saw the child psychiatrist on Tuesday she was quite clear that they will not hand out 'labels' lightly, and no matter what he is diagnosed with the bottom line is it will identify a bit more clearly what J needs additional help/support with...even if at the moment he's managing to get by because of the environment he's in. I have no doubts in my mind had I left him at the first school he started in the teachers would have been calling me non-stop because he was being really noisy and a little disruptive - basically the environment was really noisy and busy etc and he just couldn't cope. We've been really lucky now in that he's in a small class, and overall the school is small, heavy emphasis on respect for each other, calm etc etc and it's really helped with his overall confidence which took a battering after 8 weeks at 1st big school. But...I'm very concious that his resistance to change, and difficulty with social situations and relating to his peers, and in stuff with comprehension etc may well get a lot worse as he makes the transition to year 3. So I have decided that if some people (ie school) want to see a disgnosis as a label thats up to them...I will put it to them as a 'need' or being able to fill in a gap for support etc.

Hiya, glad he liked it and I can sympathise with putting it up!! - u need a small army! We have the samne trouble with the trampoline getting wet...we're thinking of trying one of those huge tarparlines now - scuse the spelling! ....like the ones u throw over cars etc..I've seen you can get waterproof ones of those so we're going to look into that.

Potatoes

And a very happy birthday from me too ....sorry it's late I thought I'd posted earlier Hope you had a great day!

J went to first ever karate grading tonight..I was a little worried as they changed the venue and parents were not allowed to stay..but he was sooo excited...went in to warm up and waved me off! And...he got his first belt. He was so chuffed and so are we!! :) He had already asked to prepare egg sandwiches and the digimon video for when he got back and we had extra thick milkshake to celebrate!...and then he fell asleep in his uniform It was great to have a good evening for a change

Thanks guys...after yesterday I'm feeling a bit ill today ....I have fibromyalgia and although I felt like I didn't get too worked up yesterday I think the culmination of the last few months has just got me. I have every bone in my body aching this morning .....guess I'll have to take a chill pill along with some neurofens and just try and relax now for a day or two. Did'nt help that I found out son was involved in some stone throwing at school yesterday...he came off worst with the the pesky boy I keep telling him to stay away from lobbing one at J's head. He had to spend half an hour with school nurse and now has lovely bump and cut on forehead! He's got swimming practice at school today for a gala tomorrow...follwed by katate grading tonite (1st one!) and then tomorrow gala...so dreading how tired and grumpy it's gonna be around here tonight! Beam me up scotty!!

I try really hard to never shout these days.....some days I don't manage it and then I have to kick myself for losing another hour or two to sprog tantrum. If I shout he will majorly sulk or have a worse paddy than the one he was having that made me shout in the first place! - hope that makes sense He'll put his hands over his ears and curl into a ball, or hide on bottom bunk of bed where I can't see him or just throw a blanket over himself in disgust at me! So in our house we try the gritted teeth and even tone, and distraction route ...sometimes I fail which means I donate mysef an extra bar of chocolate once it's all died down!

choir

Hi DG....I'm glad you plucked up the courage to post...first ones always the hardest:) (speaking from experience I don't know anything helpful to you regards adults with aspergers unfortunately, but I'm pretty sure there will be a whole bunch of people on here who will...you are definately in the right place for info/advice/support. Take care Lisa

Becci......please don't feel that you have damaged him for life because you lost your rag and said things you don't mean...we have all done it, and we all know how ###### you are now feeling. <'> If he is quiet and calm now are you able to talk to him? - just acknowledge that you got angry, sometimes people say things they don't mean when they are angry etc..Once you've said that to him you'll probably feel better. Even if you have to shout it thru the bedroom door like I sometimes have to at least they know you've said sorry for saying something you didn't mean and that course you love them loads etc etc but you're not bionic woman. You are NOT a bad mother...you are very obviously a mum who loves her kids very much who just happened to lose her patience...we have definately all done it, and will prob do it again at some point. It's so easy in the situation to just get caught up because it's all soo tiring. Please please forgive yourself for this....it's part of being a mum, it's a tough one I'll be thinking of you.....

Thanks Mumble - I've also got next to no work done this week so far!... Re the 'whizzy' hands....it's all them pesky 'normal' people I worry about commenting ....but it's weird I've never mentioned it to J...I keep thinking if I don't he'll stop at some point, but I even saw him do it at school last week during sports day while he was waiting for his turn...so it obs helps him in some way. I think I'm going to tell J we're having a 7.5yr old check up! - if anyone has a better idea please send it my way..I'm planning to just say the doctor will want to ask general questions about school, playing, friends etc etc. Cheers Lisa

Hiya, I have a head ache:)..and have had a cup of tea, chocolate biccie and two paracetamols since I got back! But....it went well I think. Today the meeting was just with me and lasted for 2 hours. It was really hard trying to remember stuff from when J was a baby and I had to confess that he was in nursery from 6 months old..usually from 8.30 till 5.30pm, so I can only comment on what I did notice But I'd written loads of stuff down and had been through his baby book picking out milestones etc, any illnesses, I gave a family history, and then all my current concerns or stuff I've noticed as 'out of the ordinary'. Basically talked my socks off for 2 hours!...I told her the school were not 'seeing' anything, and that although I can see why they think J is a model pupil it's not actually helping me to totally keep disregarding. The Dr was really apologetic about needing to send a questionaire to the school and in the end we agreed she'd sent it directly to the LSU rather than any form teachers. She agreed with me that there were def some autistic behaviours going on but obs she needs to see J to get a better picture of what that might be. She asked what my main concerns were for him and I said the social interaction side, the learning ability, and the whizzy thing he does with him arms and hands - cos that will make him stand out It will matter to none of us if he only eats with wooden handaled cutlery, or wears only soft feeling clothes for ever. Dr explained about all the different points on the Autistic spectrum and said that even if he ended up being dianosed as at the high functioning end it would still mean we could identify what he needs extra help with. But either way she doesn't think I'm bonkers and said it was better to investigate before a crisis then wait until you're in one. She also said I should continue treating him as though he's on the spectrum as it's obs helpful. So...now have to wait for some q.naires in the post and next appt is for J to go in and see her which will be in a couple of weeks time she thought. So....sort of relieved that I've spilled all the info out, I left a 4 page sheet with info on with her! (didn't want to forget anything!), and it was good to talk to someone who obviously knew what she was talking about, and she was fairly matter of fact about the whole thing. Ie..we already know there is some sort of learning difficulty going on, prev thought to be dyslexia, but now we not so sure given recent reading ability leap. But she said that gives us a starting post, together with history and present...then we just sort of need to fill the gaps in for where he needs extra help - whatever the actual diagnosis turns out to be. - I was happy with that. Gonna go get another cup of tea with huge amounts of sugar now

Hiya....welcome to the 40 club! - hope you have a good day