asereht

Sorry jaded you posted while I was writing and I just seen it now.

Lucas and Jaded, I always read your posts with interest and find them helpful so I would like them to continue but I think you both may need to agree to disagree before this one turns nasty and one of you decide to go away and not bother joining in on other threads. Please feel free to tell me to keep my nose out but while the thread is devolping into a healthy debate with most I think with both of you it is getting a little personal and feelings could get hurt. Theresa P.S And Barefoot you thought you were patronising!

I think I would have to think long and hard about this offer. Then the very fact that I had to think about it would make me say no . Sorry not much advice here. Theresa

Simon , Sorry I don't explain myself very well baddad just said what I mean . I don't see carers and people being cared for as seperate, it's just that without the person needing care there would not be a need for a carer. In fact they are both in need but if the disabled person gets the care needed then so does the carer. Other people on this thread seem to think from what I can gather ( I may be wrong) that the carers needs are more important. ( at least thats the way it comes across) There are some people in this world( certainly not on this forum) who thrive on being the carer so they can moan to anyone who will listen how hard their life is and don't really want things to get better. If the media concentrate on the needs of the carer these people will jump on the bandwagon ,cause a huge fuss and somewhere along the way the disabled person is forgotten about or worse even blamed for the problems of the carer. I do think both the carer and the person being cared for are equally important but help the disabled person and the carer is almost certainly helped- help the carer and depending on what the help is the disabled person may or may not benefit. Again no offence intended. Theresa

I agree it is hard for carers but I am with lucas and bid on this and totally agree with baddad. Our kids may be seen as the problem, which could be dangerous when looking for the solution. Carers needs should be met by first and fore most meeting the needs of the person being cared for . The needs of the carer must not be seen as the most important. My sons needs will always come before mine as he needs more than I do . I for the most part can take care of myself. If carers are having major problems its the person being cared for who is getting let down by the system, NOT the carer. Just my opinion. Hope I don't offend anyone. Theresa

Gilbo , I too would like to hear your detailed opinion, also why do you not consider AS to be Autism, my son has AS but he also refers to himself as Autistic or having Autism. ( genuine question ,no offence intended). T

Thanks Carole.

"Sitting in a classroom surrounded by 30 other children who are all using various methods of communication and not just the spoken word, which our children find difficult enough to understand on it?s own, is not teaching our children anything. But it is leading to frustration anxiety and in some cases a need to be referred to Childhood and Adolescence Mental Health Service. " This is the case with my son who attends the service on a daily basis and is now doing very well but their aim is to hopefully get him back to school on a very slow going process . They aim to take things very slowly indeed and gradually build up, starting with just a trip to the school gate with one of them and then home again. Nothing is set in stone and at the moment there is no mention of him going anywhere near school. He will attend where he is for as long as he needs and will have a daily programme ( which he is enjoying) as well as an anxiety group twice a week for 8 weeks starting next week. He has not attended school since last june doesn't even like to mention the word and he is like a different child ( much happier). The thoughts of him returning to school fills me with dread but I can't tell them that at the unit or they may think I don't want him to get on with his life. ( he came close to break down) Am I wrong to be worried? Theresa

Caroline I don't think you over reacted you have every right to your opinion. I have recently learned that none of my work mates understand how things are for my son and I now I keep my private life just that and believe me it saves a lot of heartache and hurt feelings on my part. Your work mate is being very childish not talking to you. Theresa. Lucas your posts are always interesting to read but try not too get too worked up about things, it can lead to hurt feelings if people take things the wrong way. You are very strong in your opinions ,both of my sons are like you , if they have an opinion they stick to it no matter what. My eldest son 19 and NT trys his best to get other people to see things his way and like him I think you would do very well in any debate on any subject you felt strongly about. I don't think you mean to attack people personally. I do not agree with the whole MMR causing Autism thing but everyone is allowed to have their own beliefs it would be a boring world if we all thought the same and we must respect other peoples opinions.

Found one I really like !!

Sorry bad experience here too . My son had the removable brace for 18 months and then had 4 teeth removed because of overcrowding. He now has fixed braces since last june but has trouble following the VERY STRICT brushing routine needed when fixed braces are applied ( brushing at least 4 times a day in a certain way with two different brushes) . No hard food raw carrots,crusts apples, popcorn. His diet is already quite particular. The last time he went back to the orthodontist she told him off and said he is just not doing what he is told and if he doesn't stick to the routine there coming off.He really does try his best but is dyspraxic and finds it hard to do it right. Also he gets them tightened and finds them quite uncomfortable for days then and she cannot get it into her head that he has sensory issues and thinks he is just making a big deal out of nothing. I am sorry I ever let him get them and hope she does take them off before I tell her to. He gets so upset when he gets them tightened that he will not even eat and is is bad form for days. He just can't handle it. Sorry if I've put you off this is just our experience. T

We all get bad days . Glad things are better now. Here's to more good days T

HI RAY AND WELCOME.

No advice to give , except to say the word appeal is fast becoming an everyday word for me! And to offer these <'> <'> T

<'> <'> Hi and welcome , Yes I did find it hard when my son 14 was diagnosed last dec after a long hard battle to find out why he was like he is. He is bright and his problems are complex but mostly social anxiety. I know it's easier said than done but try to take each day at a time or things can get bad for you ( extremely stressful). I found this out the hard way. First and foremost he is still your son no matter what and you've done your best for him so far getting the diagnosis . Take time to sit back and relax and take in the news then work out what you need to do regarding support etc, you'll get a lot of support and help here, I know I have. Take care and now you've found us please stay. T

Hev I know how you feel. I have been there.My son is 14 and a half now . He is out of school and attending an adolescent unit for an assessment on a daily basis which includes some schooling, so things are not too bad at the moment. Thing is when he is in good form, I feel, that sometimes it's because I am not doing anything to annoy him, but when I do and believe me it's easily done. Then all hell breaks loose and then I think that I must be normally jumping through hoops to please him. Then I get upset and wonder if I have him the way he is and think about what a terrible mum I must be and how no other mum would put up with this etc. Sometimes I feel like he is in charge and I have to do as he says or else suffer the consequences ( moods , Tantrums etc.) But when things are good again I realise that I am doing the best I can and if I do have to do certain things a different way to keep things calm then so be it. Please don't feel bad about the way your son is ,remember also, at his age the dreaded hormones have a lot to do with the way he is. This is not meant to be advice as I am the last person to be able give advice in these situations and usually come on here looking for advice on much the same problems. Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and please free to pm me anytime <'> <'> From all your posts I have read I can tell that you are a good mum who loves her son very much but like us all gets lost at times. Also your son may be like this with you because he knows you love him and he feels comfortable with you ( I know this doesn't really help). Take care. Theresa

AW! Well done to your son!

Hi Lynne , just wanted to send these <'> <'> Theresa

I wasn't sure so I voted other. Anywhere he was happy and settled with no upset would suit .

Welcome Lufty! Theresa

My NT son 19 always lined most things up . ASD son only did this with certain things?

Well done Simon. I always find your post useful and helpful . Long may they continue!!

I am an NT female with NT husband , NT daughter ,AS son and NT ish ( AS traits ) son

Hi jewels, This site is great. I have a 14yr old son with AS . look forward to chatting. Theresa

I know how you all feel. Can I join you? Vodka and coke please! Theresa