pearl Report post Posted December 5, 2008 They are doing a competition on our local news, most of the presents are from hapless husbands to wives & include: a toilet and a piece of pork Mr p usually does good, but his mother once gave me a plastic lobster Roll up here & consign all your manky pressys to Santa's Room 101 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted December 5, 2008 My (now ex) mother in law once bought me a china dog for Christmas. This despite me not having a dog, having no interest in dogs (or china), or ever having mentioned a dog (or china). I was even more impressed by the �1 price tag stuck on the box. Sadly it accidentally fell into a charity bag. Oh how I was cursing my luck after that Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted December 5, 2008 There are some poor presents that are forever destined to be in Secret Santa's sack, recycled year after year. I think the lobster & the china dog would fit that category (though probably not the toilet or the piece of pork) I have a box of mini bottles of perfume for my Secret Santa recipient this year (I got it about 3 Christmases back so I reckon its safe for it to have another outing). I'm just glad I didnt get the only bloke in our team, I'd have had to actually buy something Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dooday24 Report post Posted December 5, 2008 i had a awful smelly set from my m.i.l. ........ my dp had a minuture bottle of whisky from them wen hes never liked the stuff.......... donnaxxxxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted December 5, 2008 I just know that this is going to keep me awake all night as my poor brain trawls through everything (so thanks for nothing Pearl) Already it's remembered that my mum bought me a running jacket one Christmas. Twelve months later she bought me the exact same running jacket, despite the fact that I hadn't worn the first one (I put it down to dementia)(her buying the same thing twice that is, not me not wearing a jacket - that's 'stupidity' as opposed to dementia) The fact that she has bought me a bag of Brussel sprouts as a Christmas present in the past only reinforces the fact that she's losing the plot Or maybe my uncle getting me a (yes a as in one) blank floppy disk one year...as I'm 'into IT' (the only year he ever bothered buying his brother's family anything)(my brother got a watch BTW which really made me feel 'special') That said, it also works the other way as I bought a Jimmy Carr DVD for myself a couple of years ago, watched it, hated it...and wrapped it up and gave it to my brother - who says Yorkshiremen are tight fisted? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aro Report post Posted December 5, 2008 Ok stand back...... my mum got my sister an I diet plates!!!! Yep, god's honest truth....these plates are marked into serving portions with various calorie counts for common foods! Mum could not see why my sister and I were in hysterics as she truely thought these plates were a revelation A x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted December 5, 2008 A jumper which was a couple of sizes bigger than my normal size - my MIL thought it was a good idea as I was pregnant at the time. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KateBall Report post Posted December 5, 2008 my now ex gave me a pressure cooker one year and a rain coat another. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KateBall Report post Posted December 5, 2008 oh and I've just remember - ex also gave daughter an umbrella - he obviously had a thing about the rain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sonj186 Report post Posted December 5, 2008 my mother in law always always buys me PJ's at least 2 yes 2 sizes too small for me!!!!!!!!! and last time they were extra long im only 5 foot 4!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pebbs10 Report post Posted December 6, 2008 my mum actually gave me a couple of pillows for christmas never used em btw they wouldn't last 5 mins but i remember wen i was pregnant my granny in law gave me the "BIG KNICKERS" and an old fashioned granny nightie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
barefoot wend Report post Posted December 6, 2008 My mother-in-law once gave me a toilet brush! My husband once gave me a kitchen bin! Are they trying to tell me something? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted December 6, 2008 I think the toilet brush is a strong contender for barefoot! My boss's husband once gave her a new car bumper for Christmas. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bikemad Report post Posted December 6, 2008 O my god I must have been so luck so far lol tho saying that one year in a secret santa swap someone bought me this odd bag made of plastic with lots of pockets to put pictures in(im a photographer)....it never saw daylight im afraid. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted December 6, 2008 My DH always gives me weird gifts including..... ~ a catus ~ a clump or roots (supposed to have grown in to lovely flowers as refuses to buy fresh cut ones, never grew into anything) ~ a Jack Ass DVD (OMG have you ever watched one of them, what an earth was he thinking !!!!!) ~ various CD's of artists I have never even heard of (but he wanted them ) Haver told him (nicely) not to bother this year, what with credit crunch and all Clare x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted December 6, 2008 Time for me to fess up .... I once bought my daughter a microwavable dog. It was worth it just to see the look on her face Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted December 6, 2008 I once bought my daughter a microwavable dog. What?? K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted December 6, 2008 not a live one, a cuddly toy thingy filled with lavender, you put it in the microwave so you've something warm to cuddle when your boyfriend has dumped you. She was not impressed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted December 6, 2008 Oh yes, I had something similar given to me once - wasn't newly dumped but enjoyed it anyway. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chris54 Report post Posted December 6, 2008 Whats the worst?? Too many to list here!! But then what do you get someone who already has all they want. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pookie170 Report post Posted December 6, 2008 Omigosh, the first year Crimbo after our Mum died, we 3 kids had to buy each others gifts form our Dad as he was housebound.... A screaming, wobbly great failure! Well, we did gat a few gifts each that were at least in the right ball park, but.... I recieved a compilation CD of fake Elvis singers- WHY???? There was a perfectly good Metallica album out there that I had actually asked for!! My brother bought my sister a multi pack of granny pants (he was only 14!) that, on her return to work at a care home 3 days later, she discovered most of the female residents had received identical pakets of! (Think massive, yards or elastic , reinforced gussets and twee floral print!) How I laughed! Actually, thinking on it, my little brother did very well that year! But the next year, he tried to give my sis her gifts without the bother of using paper. 'I want them wrapped!' she huffed, casting the carrier bags back at Michael, 'They're not proper presents unless they're wrapped!!' 'They are wrapped...' he sighed, as he sloped back in the direction of his room, ' they're still in the CARRIER BAGS!' Heheh! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
something_different Report post Posted December 7, 2008 doesn't manky mean dirty? as in a manky old jumper, the manky floor etc? Adjective manky (comparative mankier, superlative mankiest) (UK, Ireland, slang) Unpleasantly dirty and disgusting. anyway worst present i got was... a fake dvd that didn't work Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tjw Report post Posted December 7, 2008 hi i have a step mum who must hate me here gos 1 yr pair of tights but not just your plain blk kind they had a patten of pretend jeans on them yes pretend jeans pockets an all size 12 yrs old hair dryer with a 2 pin plug it was that old the pictures on the box were of mullets (sorry if we ave a lot of mullet hair styles on ere ) photo frames smashed you get my drift i would not even put them in a charity bag they might be able to trace me for them and think i have bad taste we do look so forward to opening the presents now because it gives us a great laugh xmas morn, it is also like a comp now to see who can get worst prezzie, lol theresa xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted December 7, 2008 doesn't manky mean dirty? as in a manky old jumper, the manky floor etc? anyway worst present i got was... a fake dvd that didn't work It has a broader meaning in Lancs I think - anything you don't like, basically. Now where's my Lancy slang book I got for christmas last year? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted December 9, 2008 The worst present I ever got was a gift voucher for I Want One Of Those dot org because they didn't have anything I wanted. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billabong Report post Posted December 10, 2008 Not the worst but certainly the most disappointing present was when I was about 5. I asked for a Babycham - ie the cute little cartoon creature that bounced across the screen on the advert. Huh, Father Christmas took me literally and left a bottle of Babycham outside my bedroom door. My crest was somewhat fallen that day. Billabong Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluefish Report post Posted December 10, 2008 When I was about 8 I bought my nan a diary and address book for christmas, when I was around 11 I got it back! The same one as it had " merry Christmas nanny" in my childish scrawl! ha ha that was a pretty rubbish present! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted December 10, 2008 I cant remember many of my christmas presents!!! Socks is the worst ive had I think!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lorryw Report post Posted December 10, 2008 Clothes pegs..........!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mumble Report post Posted December 10, 2008 Huh, Father Christmas took me literally and left a bottle of Babycham outside my bedroom door. Perhaps Father Christmas is himself autistic? In fact, let's look at the evidence: Difficulty with social communication Limited language and repetitive phrases - especially Ho Ho Ho Need for repetitive/modelled conversations - have you been a good girl/boy?, What would you like for Christmas? Preference to work with Elves who talk to themselves in Elfish, reducing the need for social communication Poor understanding of jokes hence the need for weak/obvious Christmas Cracker jokes as practise Use of old-fashioned /traditional speech rather than more current/fashionable phrases/language Preference for written 'conversation' hence bringing about the tradition of 'Letter to Santa' Difficulty with social interaction Limited understanding of acceptable social interaction played out in entering strangers' houses through the chimney Lack of understanding of personal space in asking people to sit on his knee Needing people to approach him and conduct social interaction in his own personal space Prefers to spend time alone in his own land for the majority of the year avoiding any social contact Appears to behave in multiple strange ways Stims involving 'shaking his belly like a bowlful of jelly' Rarely expresses own needs and despite seeing others asking for things, is never seen asking for anything for himself Prefers the company of animals (especially reindeer) to other humans Difficulty with social imagination Unable to think about what others might like requiring requests in the form of a letter Difficulty thinking about other ways of doing things or change, hence clinging to tradition Poor understanding of the concept of danger taking not only to flying but also to landing on slippery roofs Needs to stick to a routine, always delivering presents on exactly the same night every year Imaginative in creating his grotto, but prefers to do this the same every time Sensory Issues Unaware of the cold hence happy living in Lapland where the temperature is frequently below minus 20 Preference for quiet and writes this into his own social story: "'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse" Enjoys the noise of sleigh bells hence a preference to attach these to his sleigh, trees, pressies, etc. Preference for low light hence working at night with glasses tinted with coal dust Always wears the same soft red suit regardless of current fashions Special Interests Making toys Christmas () Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NobbyNobbs Report post Posted December 10, 2008 i think you all might be glad i'm not getting presents for you, i'm of the practical kind and have been known to give such wonders as a tray for putting your dinner on and an iron... worst ive ever got? magnolia bath stuff... every year for 5 years! i swear my whole family think that if i like something then thats all i like... incidentally i DONT like baths! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted December 10, 2008 Mumble I would say the evidence is overwhelming. One more thing to add: Extremely restricted food preferences: insists on repetitive diet of sherry and mince pies. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted December 11, 2008 I would say the evidence is overwhelming. One more thing to add: Extremely restricted food preferences: insists on repetitive diet of sherry and mince pies. Plus maybe he uses the sherry to calm his anxieties over potential social interaction at christmas!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted December 11, 2008 insists on repetitive diet of sherry and mince pies. *nods* with him on that one (hic) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted December 11, 2008 I like mince pies but not sherry I do like Port but i dont drink anymore Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted December 11, 2008 *hands over mince pies to Warren, swipes Warren's sherry* fair trade? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted December 11, 2008 I know it's not exactly a Christmas present but my brother did get a somewhat bizarre 'gift' from one his customers this week. The 'norm' is to give and receive alcohol but he got... ...a 25kg sack of potatos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pearl Report post Posted December 11, 2008 Theyll sprout, I say theyll sprout, you know Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted December 11, 2008 Theyll sprout, I say theyll sprout, you know As long as I don't end up with a bag of King Edward's as a Christmas present then I don't care Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warrenpenalver Report post Posted December 11, 2008 *hands over mince pies to Warren, swipes Warren's sherry* fair trade? sounds good to me!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
