Finding the holidays a struggle

[fiorelli]

or is that a stupid question?

 

Despite Louis having now been off school for 3 weeks, my other 2 sons have only been off since Friday. I am at my wits end having to follow Louis around constantly, and not having any time for myself.

 

Today, he has managed to get himself into our bedroom and ransack it. CUT UP a sheet off his brothers bed (god only knows where he got the scissors from - and even where they are now). Trash the lounge. Take stuff upstairs that should be down and vice versa. Eating the entire contents of my kitchen...NOT an exageration!!!... Bite and hit his brothers.....

 

I can't cope with this for another 5 weeks

Edited July 26, 2005 by fiorelli

[call me jaded]

Oh yes. And my middle two aren't off til Thursday. Have a look at my holiday blog to see what happened yesterday.

 

I find going out to a large open space saves my house from being wrecked too much.

[Tylers-mum]

I'll keep this short................................................YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS

SSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

..and I only have one child!!

[pingu]

Hello everyone

 

Ohhh i am so glad that someone else started this thread.... Yes the holidays are proving a little stressfull (to say the least). Constant arguing and fighting, it seems that every 2 minutes one of the kids are in tears for some reason. Up to now Kieran has dragged the contents of my wardrobe out, which meant he had to get through a locked door, climb on the dressing table and force the door open (but he managed it). He has also started to climb up the door frame (one foot on each side) he shimmys up like a professional monkey, and he keeps swiching the bathroom fan on, again he goes to the trouble to unlock the door (which means climbing) So new locks (padlocks) needed.

 

We also have the 'Kevin' thing going on with the eldest, he throws himself on the sofa and declares his need for peace,!!!! yet he is usually the one to wind up the other 2. We can't even escape and go away for a week, as our Daughter has a fear of anything that moves, so she wont go on a bus/train/taxi/car or otherwise. So we are well and truely stuck in HOLIDAYS FROM HELL.

 

So i think we should now all SMILE and think how blessed we are for our angelic children for without them our lifes would certainly be QUIET !!

 

Take care everyone, and remember you are not Alone !! <'>

 

Shaz

x

[Kathryn]

Yes! is the short answer.

 

The only thing that stops me going COMPLETELY nuts is brief forays into work where I can convince myself I still have an ordered life and people listen to me.

[elaine1]

wow poor you. my two fight but at least tom has his playstation and he goes in his room for a while to calm down a bit.

 

hope u find a slution or youre gonna go grey!

[fiorelli]

Thankfully I have escaped for a few hours (am at work) , unfortunately, however, I only have 1 day left (after today) until I leave

[Guest flutter]

and some

was planning on doing some college work in the hols, but hoovering up glitter is soo much more fun NOT

[Elanor]

Yes, yes, yes - and it's only day 5 of 6 weeks. Thank goodness my husband is his main carer, and I work - I'm sinking already. Next up, 3 kids in a caravan in rainy Devon!

[mandyque]

Ohhhh yes

 

Even going to special needs stuff is proving tough, for me at least. I go along because there are people there who are like me, understand dd, are aware of her problems and it's a safe environment. I went today and she completely wore me to a frazzle. Instead of being able to mix with other children and me with other parents, she found herself the quietest spot as far away from everyone else as possible and cut us both off from everyone. I felt so lonely stood where I could see everyone but not being able to talk to them or even for them to see us and wave, nothing. It was worse than being at home by myself with her. She then attacked me as I tried to get her in the car, after 2.5 hours I was exhausted running around after her and now my arm is bruised from her scratching. I'm ashamed to say I burst into tears, it wasn't the pain, just the desperate loneliness. I feel so cut off during the holidays, even going out places I am still alone most of the time, my friends are all too busy with their own kids and, because dd won't mix, none of the other kids are interested in her.

 

All the other kids at the play session were autistic but on a different level to dd, she is non verbal and completely anti social, the other kids, for all they are also autistic, were all attempting to mix with other kids and could talk to each other.

 

It's not like she is over sensitive to noise or anything, she just doesn't want to be around anyone, not even me, which was how I came to be so tired, she just kept running away from me but I can't just let her go unsupervised.

 

Sorry just having a down day

[smallworld]

Anyone not finding it a struggle ? !!

My youngest has managed to lose my credit card in the short time it took me to answer the door, I was just about to pay for my online shop.

Aarrrgh!

he says he's put it in the telly, I have pulled my shoulder trying to lift the thing. That and torn ligament in knee from trying to keep hold of his hand all the time, I'm falling apart ! He's just trying to immobilise me completely. Then we'll all be *^%$�* !!

Edited July 26, 2005 by waccoe

[smiley]

four words;

 

AM LOOSING MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!

 

[KarenT]

Anyone not finding it a struggle ? !!

Sorry to have to say this, but so far the holidays are going OK. James has just completed his first two sessions at SN playscheme and loved it, and has calmed down a lot generally through not being at school. It adds fuel to my fire that he's more stressed in school than he appears to be. I've got timetables all over the wall for the whole seven weeks so he can see what we'll be doing and that seems to be helping as well.

 

Sorry so many of you are having a hard time of it though. I imagine I'll be joining your ranks at some time over the holiday - this can't last, I'm sure!

 

Karen

x

[jomica]

Yes. My 8 year old has become a jekyll and hyde character. He seems to be a real ball of anger at the moment - even his dreams last night were angry with lots of shouting.

 

I think that there's too much change going on for him. We're trying to give him some structure - he's chosen what he wants to do for the week ahead, written it down and pinned it on the wall. He even keeps going to consult it and talks happily about what's to come ..... but then on the day it is due to happen all hell lets loose and he doesn't want to do anything.

 

If we only had one child it wouldn't be so bad, but we have three and the other two need a holiday too. The oldest is big enough to sort himself out a lot of the time, so long as he gets a lift to where he's going and enough cash to buy his lunch (!), but the middle one is very laid-back and has a lot of empathy with his younger brother. You might think that's good .... and to a large extent it is, but it means that we're constantly in danger of forgetting his needs and the last thing we want to do is alienate our youngest son's biggest friend and mentor.

 

I can't tell you how bad I feel about this situation and I'm not sure I can cope with it for the next six weeks. I think we need some help.

 

[jools]

so far so good here.....sorry

 

we have put rules and timetables on the walls so he can see what we are expecting and doing...and this seems to be working.

he always relaxes when not at school cos he can indulge in his one and only interest.....football!

playing it, watching it, reading about and talking about it 24/7

i was woken at 7.30 today with him giving me the life history of a brazilian player....lovely....lol

 

the only thing that has changed for the worse is that we have had wet beds every night since breaking up.

he is wet everynight any way and wears pull ups.....and usually leaks out of them 3/4 times a week but it has been every night so far. i'm sure its because he is drinking alot more during the day than when at school.

[hollymg]

I'm so sorry!

 

The funny thing is that in my household, I would thoroughly enjoy holiday with my AS son because he wants to do interesting things. Other than a rough patch when school first gets out because of the transition issues (here we have a 3 month summer break), the nightmare you describe is purely what I get from my NT daughter! (2.5 years old). She is wild, stubborn, and reason to put rum in my coca colas some afternoons. The two together bring out the worst in each other so even if she is only going 2 mornings a week in August and will miss her big brother, just having 1 will make such a difference.

 

Hang in there and hide those scissors!

[Kazzen161]

We are on first day of hols, and already I want to walk out!

 

I can't sit down for more than a few minutes, cos I have to go and stop a fight - I can't have the radio or TV on cos I can't hear what they are up to - I am hating it.

 

We will probably go out tomorrow, which might be better, but then I come home exhausted and still have to cook the tea, wash and iron and clean!

 

I wish we had another bedroom, then I coudl separate the three of them.

 

At the moment the one I wuold choose to get rid of is my hormonal NT son. He has got to the stage where he doesn't seee why he should have to make allowances/adjustments for his two AS brothers - so life is worse than usual.

 

Karen

[loulou]

Hi,

 

I've had Kai at home for 16 months, so every day is like the holidays for me .

 

I was getting totally stressed with him under my feet all the time in my tiny house and talking non-stop about Hornby trains. Luckily the family fund came to my rescue and gave me money towards a 10' by 8' shed for the garden!

 

Now Kai has moved all of his trains into the shed and has been in there all day constructing a fabulous layout. Only trouble is, it's raining, so we won't be able to get the extension lead out there to run the trains .

 

So far, with him out there, i've managed to blitz the bathroom and the two bedrooms! Yippee! Gosh, i'm such an evil mother banishing my child to the shed!

 

Hope the weather cheers up for us all,

 

Loulou x

[UltraMum]

four hours of respite tomorrow - and counting! I've been at 9 on the crossness scale more times than I care to admit today.

 

I do a lot of shouting and then J gets upset -

 

Still - first week nearly over - Lake District next week.

[oracle]

As another Home Edder I am well used to have my kids at home. However Matthew loves to play outside with the other kids and his social deficits are becomming more and more apparant to me

 

He is having huge problems with the mechanics of social relationships and is accusing many of his friends of telling lies This is because he can not understand the jokes and pranks they are playing on each other. He is becoming very angry with some of them. He wants me to explain to them all why it is wrong to lie He also feels that they do not play fairly and this is also causing him problems. He can play happily one to one or even in a group but if there are only three of them playing then that is a countdown to fireworks.

 

Sadly I can only see the gap between him and his friends getting wider before he fully understands that we often do not say what we mean and that teasing is part and parcel of growing up.

 

Carole

[UltraMum]

Have a look at my holiday blog to see what happened yesterday.

Jaded - I'd love to read your blog - but where is it?

[nellie]

it's here......... http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=2958

[jools]

maybe i was a bit hasty when i posted that everything was fine

 

its pouring down today, he can't get out to play football so is trying to play it inside instead! his younger brother is screaming at him and his older sister has locked herself in the bedroom cos she can't stand the noise

G has also decided to give us a running commentary of everything he is doing......its driving me nuts!

think i'll leave them with dad while i nip out to tesco for an hour or two

[Suze]

very stressed......and I,ve had the headache from hell for 2 days .Finding it tough with the 3yr old who just does,nt understand why he can,t move and touch his aspie brothers stuff.He,s just screamed in his face p**** off the fallout is ....... .Can,t remember what you do to relax feel very tense like I,m going to either pop ! or shrivel up......need a dark room and silence.

[smallworld]

Scary day today, it could have been worse though!

9 yr old pushed 5 yr old off his top bunk( of course eldest says he fell)

straight onto 9 yr olds treasured possession, a limited edtion framed print of his football team. he smashed the glass falling on it but amazingly didn't cut himself, thank god!

I think this was only cos we keep an old cot mattress on the floor just incase he feels out of the bottom bunk. definately time to get rid of the bunks, I've always been worried about them.

the print is undamaged, finally managed to convince 9 yr old we can buy new glass. 5yr old is renacting the scene after the fall, doing impression of bigger brother bellowing 'look what you've done you idiot!' whilst looking downwards ( no point eldest son denying he was actually on the top bunk at the time !) it's a fair cop, everyone miserable.

Another rainy day forecast tomorrow, no such thing as P.C. Rain calming things down here, quite the opposite.They've all got cabin fever!

 

wac

[lil_me]

My problem so far is my NT son, he's like hell on 2 legs at the moment. I know how to deal with my other son much better now, I know what keeps him happy, what he will react badly to etc. The youngest NT one however so far has painted walls, ripped wall paper off, smashed plates and cups, created absolute chaos every day. He will not leave the other one alone and he needs lots of quiet time without him and he just won't let him be alone, constantly hassling him wanting to play with him, when will he realise his brother just isn't interested in playing 99% of the time

 

My boys have shared a room since they were tiny but the next 3 weeks will be spent reorganising the play room/office into a bedroom for the youngest. ASD/ADHD one needs his space so hoping this will work.

Edited July 29, 2005 by lil_me

[mandyque]

Another meltdown here today Took her to soft play and she attacked another child, kept nipping him whenever he went near her. Then we went for a walk round a few shops and she clocked a swimming costume. She has 6 already so I said no and then had to drag her about 200 yards back to the car in full meltdown screaming mood, clawing at my arms, collapsing on the floor, it was horrible. I felt like I was going to pass out or throw up from sheer exhaustion of lifting and dragging her and not one single person asked if I needed help

 

Please let tomorrow be easier