Viper Report post Posted September 21, 2005 (edited) This si getting ridiculous. 10.30 today, they said he tried at 9.30 but they sent him back. When we got there we were confronted by a woman who as far as I can tell sticks plasters on the kids when they hurt their selves, and she had the cheek to tell us he has to come back because we were accusing them of excluding him. I told her that we are not going through the stress twice a day just because they refuse to put a nappy on him for half an hour. She said it comes down to your will against his really. I don't know about you but that says to me that we are bad parents for letting him get away with it. I have just spoken to the head and she says next week Ben has to go until 11.45 then I collect him. Sounds like a fixed term exclusion to me. Viper. Edited September 21, 2005 by Viper Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted September 21, 2005 Viper This must be really difficult for you. The more I think about the situation, the more I am struggling to understand why he is being put through this every day. Would it be better to withdraw him from school until the school is prepared to act properly? Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
forbsay Report post Posted September 21, 2005 (edited) Hi Viper What a nightmare for you all........................ Would the national autistic society be able to help you in anyway re advise? My son is 5 years old and he is still in nappies. He goes to an autistic school and they make no issue of this at all. What sort of school does your son go to? Forbsay x Edited September 21, 2005 by forbsay Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted September 21, 2005 My son is 5 years old and he is still in nappies. He goes to an autistic school and they make no issue of this at all. What sort of school does your son go to? That is the point. your child has a special need and as your school is Autism-aware they do not bat an eyelid when asked to cope with it. In law a mainstream school is not allowed to refuse to deal with a special need because they can't/don't want to cope eith it, which makes Ben's school's actions illegal. Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted September 21, 2005 Hi Viper <'> This is getting ridiculous, how on earth do they think he is going to settle and learn anything (this being the whole point of school ) when he is in so much discomfort. Do they or you have access to the Autism Outreach Service? I'm sure they would be able to positively advise the school about this situation. Brook <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted September 21, 2005 The more I think about the situation, the more I am struggling to understand why he is being put through this every day. Would it be better to withdraw him from school until the school is prepared to act properly? Viper, I agree with Mossgrove. I think Ben's needs are best met at home until the school change their policies and they are prepared to meet Ben's specific needs. Are you getting support from DRC or IPSEA? Stay strong, you know your son best. Nellie xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted September 21, 2005 Hi all, I have contacted the DRC and IPSEA and been to my GP and every other organisation I have ever had to deal with. I am waiting for a reply from the LEA welfare officer at the moment, could be a long wait. I am at the point where I am looking into HE, I have aske Carole about it and will look inti it more. I think the main problem is we do not have a DX and even if we did the school think this is not a real problem and given time he will learn to wee in any loo. I sometimes feel this is all happening to someone else and I am just looking in from the side. I don't know how much longer I can cope, I keep finding myself sobbing for no reason, I am losing my self control. Viper. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mossgrove Report post Posted September 21, 2005 Viper I think you need to step back from the battles with the school for your own sake as well as Bens. HE is an option in the future, but the school taking a mature and responsible attitude in the future is a possibilty too. I really do not think Ben is old enough for a term of limited HE or even no education at all to be a disaster, hence my feeling that putting you and Ben through all this day after day is possibly counter-productive. Keeping him away may even concerntrate a few minds in the school, LEA and elswhere into propely thinking about the problem. Simon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted September 21, 2005 Viper, This is so awful for you both. Why is the school being so mean surely it's not that big a deal for them is it. It's not like every kid in the school is going to want to go back into nappies just because Ben is! As a cub leader I have had all kinds of disabilities come through my pack from AS and Autism to Cerebal Palsy, ADHD, etc. I had one girl who couldn't last through the night at camp without a nappy on (right up till she was 10). All we did at her bedtime was she would pop to the girl's toilets with nappy tucked under her PJs and I would sit at the entrance to the loos and divert the other girls until she was ready for bed. No fuss, no issues and we repeated the process in the morning with me disposing of the evidence discreetly. I think the school is being very very discriminating especially if your GP has spoken to them. Hang in there, Daisy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted September 21, 2005 I agree with Simon. You could always HE until they school sort themselves out or you find another school. I believe that where our kids are concerned they are not always ready fro school at 3 or 4. That does not mean that they will never be ready for school. The one thing I would be on my guard about is the fact that Anxiety Sepearation Disorder was mentioned by the professionals. Do not let them pin that one on you. It is the school who are not meeting Ben's needs at the moment and not you. Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jomica Report post Posted September 21, 2005 This is surely disability discrimination which is absolutely illegal. In the same way as a school might need ramps for a child in a wheelchair they MUST provide facilities for a child in a nappy. This school obviously has no understanding of our children's needs. Have a look at the information on this website so that you know your rights: http://www.drc-gb.org/education/knowyourri...nglandwales.asp There is also a helpline for you to call: 08457 622 633 (Monday to Friday 08:00 - 20:00) Hope this helps. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted September 21, 2005 This seems to be just getting worse for you.I,m inclined to agree with Simon and Nellie re keeping him at home till it,s sorted.The fact the school seem to think they know how to handle this situation and have dis-regarded you suggestions about using a nappy is very worrying.These are issues out side of their knowledge and ones which should be addressed by an ASD ADVISOR/SPECIALIST.Does the lea have an autism team who can advise the school? best wishesxx. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted September 21, 2005 The school are acting illegally, what's more they KNOW they are. Hence the change of tack today. This is exclusion due to medical/disability issues - this is illegal, totally illegal If you keep him away from school do so only after informing them (by letter - ALL communication in writing!) that this course of action is taken under duress and because, despite efforts by you to sort the situation out, they (THEY!) are still insisting on Ben being singled out because of his medical and disability issues. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted September 21, 2005 ...and inform the LEA. Go over the schools head (no pun intended) and talk to the organ grinders! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zemanski Report post Posted September 21, 2005 a letter to the chair of governors could be very useful too - point out the illegality and they tend to jump high and fast Zemanski Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted September 21, 2005 Absolutlely! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kazzen161 Report post Posted September 21, 2005 Would he use the male staff toilets, if he was allowed? T used to use the disabled toilet, and I don't blame them - the boys toilets always smell horrible! Karen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
puffin Report post Posted September 22, 2005 This is dreadful - the school are really behaving badly Send a letter to the Head - copy to LEA and SEN governor asking for the head to clarify the schools position in writing as you have been advised that the schools actions contravene the Disability Rights act - and you need to confirm exactly what the schools position is to discuss legal action with your solicitor. I have used this tactic twice - in both cases the issue has been resolved within 3 days - schools are very reluctant to put their position in writing and risk being sued. Continue to follow up with IPSEA as well Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest flutter Report post Posted September 22, 2005 <'> <'> <'> i think you have to write to all you can! send them all the same copies! telling them why you are withdrawing him, and it is not your doing, it is theirs! would citizens advice be able to help? thinkin of you C x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted September 22, 2005 Vipes <'> I'm sooo angry on your behalf! We got a very quick result when we actually wrote to the school, detailing the legal situation (thank you DRC!)...of course, once it's in writing, it goes into your child's file for ever! It's a brilliant idea to demand that the Head puts in writing what they are doing and why Good luck <'> Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
